AN AP NIGHTMARE

Quote: terapined

Gotta earn the Thank You's
His single post got 9 Thank You's
Have not seen a post with more

Touche

Quote: MrV

The poor girl.This little affectation of yours must go over really well with her in bed.

What girl, my wife is a woman. What
bed, I live and sleep alone.

Quote: gamerfreak

Christ EB why did you have to ruin a good thing?

You mean he's done with the story?
LOL! I knew he was making it up,
it just didn't sound right.

I still don't know what a players
card play is, and why we aren't
supposed to talk about it. I'm
more intrigued with that than
the 'story'.

Quote: Johnzimbo

Thread is better when you skip all of EB's posts

You misspelled life.

WARNING:

IF YOU DONT BELIEVE THE EVENTS RELATED SO FAR ARE TRUE DO NOT CONTINUE READING THIS THREAD

THEY ARE ABOUT TO GET EVEN MORE UNBELIEVABLE

Next part in the AM

Why is this being serialized? Are you being paid per post?

If you have a story to tell, just tell it. This whole story could and should have been one post.

This serializing like you are some sort of modern-day Dickens further supports the idea that this is a creative writing exercise (and a poor one at that).

Since it seems to be creative writing / fiction, I will give you some notes, since this is an area of my expertise:

-- Was it vital to the story that your "girlfriend" had shown lock-picking prowess in the bedroom? You are shoe-horning in details that are unnecessarily and cringey, perhaps because you have read similar lurid ideas in popular fiction.

-- Ranking the "suspects" by how much you are suspicious of them is something that happens in airport mystery novels, not real life. In real life, when someone is burglarized, the most likely suspect is "who knows," not a convenient list.

-- The "threats" to cut the story short in the absence of universal praise is the hallmark of an amateur writer who has never written for an audience other than himself. A real writer will consider his audience and, if he has a story to tell, will not threaten to cut it off because some are doubting the authenticity.

-- If you must serialize, your stopping points are all wrong. If you're going to pretend to be Charles Dickens, you should read his work for examples of strong serialization.

Quote: terapined

I think we just found the post of the year. Never seen so many thank you's

Thanks :-)

It has 13 now according to my investigation skillz.

Didn’t Zuga get like 50 TY’s when he banned Buzztard or whoever that was?

Quote: sodawater

If you have a story to tell, just tell it. This whole story could and should have been one post.

That's what I said. Milking it for melodrama
is ludicrous. This 'story' has a major flaw.
If you tell 5 people a secret, you're extremely
naive to think that those 5 people haven't
told 5 other people, who haven't told
somebody who's a criminal. The odds of
it being one of the 5 you originally told
are very slim.

There was an older antique dealer I knew
years ago who would flash a huge wad
of money at auctions. He was eventually
murdered for this money, not by somebody
who saw him flash it, but because they
heard from somebody, who heard from
somebody else that he did.

True story, it was in all the local papers.

Quote: Johnzimbo

Thread is better when you skip all of EB's posts

Yes, having 21,000 posts does
command a certain amount of
respect and gravitas*. I thanked
you for this post also. Let's see
if you get 100 thank you's..

grav·i·tas
/ˈɡravəˌtäs/Submit
noun
dignity, seriousness, or solemnity of manner.

Quote: sodawater

Why is this being serialized? Are you being paid per post?

If you have a story to tell, just tell it. This whole story could and should have been one post.

This serializing like you are some sort of modern-day Dickens further supports the idea that this is a creative writing exercise (and a poor one at that).

Since it seems to be creative writing / fiction, I will give you some notes, since this is an area of my expertise:

-- Was it vital to the story that your "girlfriend" had shown lock-picking prowess in the bedroom? You are shoe-horning in details that are unnecessarily and cringey, perhaps because you have read similar lurid ideas in popular fiction.

-- Ranking the "suspects" by how much you are suspicious of them is something that happens in airport mystery novels, not real life. In real life, when someone is burglarized, the most likely suspect is "who knows," not a convenient list.

-- The "threats" to cut the story short in the absence of universal praise is the hallmark of an amateur writer who has never written for an audience other than himself. A real writer will consider his audience and, if he has a story to tell, will not threaten to cut it off because some are doubting the authenticity.

-- If you must serialize, your stopping points are all wrong. If you're going to pretend to be Charles Dickens, you should read his work for examples of strong serialization.

I am not being paid anything

The Wiz can back me up on that one at least

Interlude, as we await polygraph results and realize that agreeing to take a test and actually showing up for it are different matters.

Quote: EvenBob

Bated, unless you've eaten actual bait for lunch. Knowing your diet, that's a possibility..

If cauliflower rice came in a package, I'd eat it. If diced beets didn't take so apply the spots, I'd make them.
I had shredded wheat (dry), peanut butter, spaghetti elbows, Ronzoni sauce today. Cooked four hamburger patties but did not ingest them. Took my various Rx'd pills, drank water in moderation.

Absolutely nothing strange about my diet. I'm following doctor's advice and dealing with financial and physical limitations.

The interlude is now over and we return you to the thrilling story of stolen players cards as my bated breath post was in response to the author's inquiry if people were interested in his narrative.

I have not read all the posts. All I can say is that if you’re a serious AP that regularly has a lot of cash on you, say $100k +, there must be a way to insure it. And that coverage would be not just for your home but also for when you’re carrying it to the casino. Otherwise you’re obviously leaving yourself wide open for a big loss. I would not feel comfortable travelling anywhere with that amount of uninsured assets on me.

Quote: EvenBob

I did, I'm halfway down the block
waving at you. Look for my red
MAGA hat, you can't miss it.

Haters gonna hate...

Quote: darkoz

Well gee can I get thread of the year nomination?

Pokergrinder is going on a backpack expedition so I am holding back my vote for that thread.

Quote: boymimbo

Haters gonna hate...

Quote: darkoz

I am not being paid anything

The Wiz can back me up on that one at least

Who cares? Just keep going. I don't understand why people harp on prose or writing style.

Quote: boymimbo

Pokergrinder is going on a backpack expedition so I am holding back my vote for that thread.

Yeah thats a tough act to follow I must admit

Quote: darkoz

Yeah thats a tough act to follow I must admit

As well ZK might get trespassed again and that thread will be worth an honourable mention at least.

Quote: FleaStiff

If cauliflower rice came in a package, I'd eat it. .

It's in the frozen food section of every
grocery, I get it once in awhile.

Quote: boymimbo

As well ZK might get trespassed again and that thread will be worth an honourable mention at least.

No way it’s ending above Nathan’s corner either in the end.

I just woke up from a dream about this story, and I'd forgotten the nightmare part of the title.

It was fairly incoherent, even for a dream. But, in the dream the events were being posted as they happened. Oz discovered that it was his current GF and said something like, "well, I found out who the guilty party is" along with a short video of her freshly killed body. He was just in DGAF mode for a sec, but snapped out of it and took the video down quickly. Unluckily for him, me and a couple of others saw the video. Then there was a confrontation at some kind of house where WOV posters gathered (maybe we all lived together?) and those of us who saw confronted him. After that, Oz was live streaming his bid to escape the police in a high speed chase. I remember he was very calm and he'd lost several police cars. He was on his way out of town with only one cop left to beat when I woke up.

Quote: sodawater

Why is this being serialized?

Maybe because it's entertaining. There's a reason that the word "serialized" exists. People sometimes write that way and many people enjoy it. I and many others have enjoyed the prolonged experience. Dickens used to do it, Stephen King did it. Breaking Bad and a million other shows did it.

Quote:

If you have a story to tell, just tell it.

If YOU have a story to tell, YOU "just tell it."

Quote: sodawater

This whole story could and should have been one post.

This serializing like you are some sort of modern-day Dickens further supports the idea that this is a creative writing exercise (and a poor one at that).

Since it seems to be creative writing / fiction, I will give you some notes, since this is an area of my expertise:

I certainly hope not. With advice like, "don't be like Dickens."

Quote: sodawater

-- Was it vital to the story that your "girlfriend" had shown lock-picking prowess in the bedroom? You are shoe-horning in details that are unnecessarily and cringey, perhaps because you have read similar lurid ideas in popular fiction.

"Cringy" is your subjective reaction. It doesn't matter if it's vital to the story. It wasn't vital to the story of Pulp Fiction that they talk about McDonalds in Holland.

Yo Mellville. Soda edited your book. "Call me Ahab. I was on a whaleship. We tried to kill a particular whale but we didn't."

Quote: sodawater

-- Ranking the "suspects" by how much you are suspicious of them is something that happens in airport mystery novels, not real life. In real life, when someone is burglarized, the most likely suspect is "who knows," not a convenient list.

Now you're an expert on real life burglaries?

It's perfectly clear why he has a list of suspects. Only some people had the necessary information. He later entertains the idea that he is wrong.

There's not really anything implausible about the story.

Nothing in it makes less sense than someone who doesn't enjoy it reading it for 15 pages and wasting time dumping on the author. Or a creative writing "expert" who cites Dickens as an example of what NOT to do and insists that you not go into any detail that isn't "vital" to the story.

Yet those things DID happen! Life is pretty crazy.

Lets move forward:

I now had someone to focus my laser beam on.

I called my ex-girlfriend like I had promised.

"Its not my girlfriend. She said she would take the lie detector test absolutely."

"Shes too smart not to say anything else now," cautioned my ex-girlfriend.

I relayed to her the conversation with my daughter's fiance.

"Whoaaaa," she drawled. "Thats not good!"

"It makes a lot of sense now. The guy sees a lot of money coming into the house using casino cards but doesn't know how. So he takes them thinking he's hit the motherlode. To the untrained eye all those cards must look like a lot more then they probably are. Hell, I have had some people mistake what I do for some type of credit card fraud scheme. The cards have the same shape and with other people's names on them thats the first thought they have. He probably thinks he has stolen my entire business away from me not realizing these people gave me the cards willingly and I can have them all replaced. I am certain he took the cards out of ignorance to their value."

"He never got a card for you?"

"Yeah, of course he did. That's the only thing he has done. He's started on the bottom."

"So he should have some idea people are giving you the cards."

"But his accomplice might not! Still you are correct. He told the accomplice to go for the cards. OH MY GOD!"

"WHAT?"

"He's always with my daughter. He might have been watching how she gambled, how she did the cards."

"You think he figured out how you get your offers?"

"Probably not. But he could mimic what she does. And he may understand enough to think looking at the points on the cards could help understand how to do it. He might be planning to dip the cards until he sees a particular pattern. He wants to start his own team."

And in horrified voice I croaked out, "and he now has the bankroll to do it!"

There was a palpable silence on the phone. "Damn, damn, damn," I said shaking all over. "This is bad."

"You still dont know if its him," chimed in my ex-girlfriend. "Perhaps he really doesnt trust lie detector tests. You know it could still be your girlfriend. You have to be certain before you make an accusation. Your daughter is in love with this man."

"No, its him. My future son-in-law. I know it. Im dead certain of it."

"Yesterday morning you were dead certain it was your former son-in-law."

My mouth was open in response but empty air came out. Damn, she was right.

"Alright, I need evidence. But right now I don't have any."

"Talk to your daughter"

It seemed the most logical thing with no other direction to take.

I called my daughter and told her I had used an open mind to consider the possibility it was my current girlfriend and now I wanted her to have an open mind as well.

"Dad, seriously? You already exonerated your girlfriend but it always seems to come down to it being my men? Yesterday my former husband and now my future husband."

She actually laughed at me out loud.

"You are blind, dad."

"No I am not blind..."

I heard her at an aside on the phone informing her fiance I was now considering him a suspect. Crap, she was so much into this guy she was gonna tell him everything.

"Dont tell him what Im saying."

"Dad, we are about to share our lives together. I tell him everything."

"Including the locations of where I got robbed," I accused.

"No, Dad. You know what I mean. Dont twist my words. He was with me the whole time. It isnt him"

"I am going by your logic. He had an accomplice do it. Dont you see he knew I was away and he knew you were not in the house because he was with you at your moms. His accomplice had an open window to do this"

"Your girlfriend knew no one was home also."

"She didnt know if you were at my house though."

"Its not him. But hold on, he wants to speak to you."

He came on the phone.

"Listen, I love your daughter. That love is absolute. She is the most important thing in the world to me. I would do nothing to hurt her. Or you!"

He went on for a few minutes sweet-talking me. Doubts were beginning to come into play.

"I consider you my father now. Why would I do this? Right before the marriage?"

"You not wanting to take a lie detector test is what is making me suspicious," I offered.

"I didnt say no. I just dont trust those things. I know a lot about those from past experience. If you want me to take the test I will take it. I am here for you."

My mind was roiling. My certainty in him being the thief was wavering but just a bit. I really didnt have any more evidence than just that stupid simple plan from that morning.

"You know my past. I am an orphan. I never had no family. This has always been my dream. To have a full family. Why would I jeopardize all that. You guys are all so loving.

"You accepted me from the start, right?" he asked.

Not quite but I didnt admit that. Still he was a smooth talker.

"I will do anything to allay your fears. Your daughter and I both agree its most likely your girlfriend. The other team members do too, correct?"

"Yes," I belatedly had to admit that fact at least.

"I willing to wager she has all the money and casino cards in her house. You know where she lives?"

"Of course I do. But I cant search her house without her permission"

"Of course not, she is not going to give you permission because she stole all your stuff."

"I dont know who it really is"

"So lets find out," my daughter's fiance suggested. "Give me her address and let me handle it."

"What do you need her address for?"

"She has all your stuff in her place. When she is gone I will break in and search for your stuff. If I don't find anything then at least you will have peace of mind it's not her. And if I do find your stuff I will bring them back to you. You cannot let her walk all over you like this."

"You feel comfortable breaking into her place. Thats not so easy to do."

"Of course it is. I'm confident I can help you out here. You want your stuff back right?"

"You can go to jail for robbing someones house even if you believe they have just robbed you. I mean, I would not want you to get into trouble for me."

"I told you, you are my father now. I will do anything for you. Just give me the address and its done."

"Let me consider it. I will call you when I have."

We got off the phone. I couldn't believe my ears. He had just about had me on the edge of doubting whether he was the one who robbed me... and then he kept talking.

He had just made a tactical error.

I was now more certain than ever it was him.

Lol. I don’t know if I believe this or not, but it’s at least funny and entertaining.

I hope it’s all a dream sequence at the end.

Quote: FinsRule

Lol. I don’t know if I believe this or not, but it’s at least funny and entertaining.

I hope it’s all a dream sequence at the end.

Reread the warning posted above

If he gets everything back (or most of it) then I will call BS.

Quote: AxelWolf

(or most of it)

It looks like where its going after the last post. A setup to frame the girlfriend and get enough back to Darkoz to make it go away.

Someone who nonchalantly offers to commit a crime on your behalf is likely already a criminal. Still, the fact that he knew where the cards were and where the safes were makes it likely that he needed that information from your daughter, which makes her an accomplice.

At this point give us some character of the fiance. What's his background? How long have you known him?

And if it was him, what was his escape plan? He would have had to leave your daughter and do a pile of work to get your business running and that would preclude your daughter unless she was in on it.

So if the fiance breaks into the girlfriends house and recovers everything for you what does that mean? And would the girlfriend be so stupid to leave all that crap at the house? If I stole money and players cards and knew that I was a prime suspect all of that stuff would be in a few safe deposit boxes in different banks.

Clearly the fiancee thinks he's caught so breaking into the girlfriends house and recovering the stuff for you would clear him and force your girlfriend out of your life.

Anyway, I am enjoying this. Back to work!!!

Quote: boymimbo

Someone who nonchalantly offers to commit a crime on your behalf is likely already a criminal.

Or a good friend.

Quote: darkoz

Reread the warning posted above

I don’t care if it’s true or not. It’s entertaining.

People are too obsessed with truth on an internet chat forum. Does it really matter if Nathan is male or female? You’re either entertained or not.

I’m entertained.

Quote: FinsRule

I don’t care if it’s true or not. It’s entertaining.

People are too obsessed with truth on an internet chat forum. Does it really matter if Nathan is male or female? You’re either entertained or not.

I’m entertained.

There are very thin lines between honest, shady and criminal. By have 100+ players cards with other peoples names on them I think you've crossed into shady. Also, I had WoN blocked, but any dealings with him wouldn't help your standing.

Then not wanting to get police involved after you've been robbed, makes it look like you think you may have crossed into criminal. If you had nothing to worry about, the police could have dusted for fingerprints, searched for hair/fibers, and maybe even collected neighbor surveillance footage of cars and people in the area. A good amount of people now have ring video doorbells and exterior cameras.

Living on the edge is a risky lifestyle.


ZCore13

Every good yarn needs a comic relief. I'd add one, and maybe a hot Latina housekeeper with a cholo boyfriend.
Your ending is too predictable. Surely you have an evil twin that could liven things up.

Assuming this narrative is true, I believe that were you to provide the address to him so that he could burglarize her home you would then become part of a criminal conspiracy and subject to being charged with a felony.

Quote: Zcore13

There are very thin lines between honest, shady and criminal. By have 100+ players cards with other peoples names on them I think you've crossed into shady. Also, I had WoN blocked, but any dealings with him wouldn't help your standing.

Then not wanting to get police involved after you've been robbed, makes it look like you think you may have crossed into criminal. If you had nothing to worry about, the police could have dusted for fingerprints, searched for hair/fibers, and maybe even collected neighbor surveillance footage of cars and people in the area. A good amount of people now have ring video doorbells and exterior cameras.

Living on the edge is a risky lifestyle.


ZCore13

Sorry you are just wrong

After the Pennsylvania incident I have proof the police themselves notified casinos about the cards and names even though they had admitted I committed no crimes and pressed no charges. Even though all those people told the police I had their permission to use the cards

I have proof of this because of ongoing court issues and discovery documents (litigation nothing charging me with a crime of theft or whatever in connection with the cards)

Quote: FinsRule

I don’t care if it’s true or not. It’s entertaining.

People are too obsessed with truth on an internet chat forum. Does it really matter if Nathan is male or female? You’re either entertained or not.

I’m entertained.

As long as this doesn't turn out to be another Bobby Ewing fiasco.

Quote: cmlotito

As long as this doesn't turn out to be another Bobby Ewing fiasco.

You realize he has to change his whole ending now.

Quote: darkoz

Sorry you are just wrong

After the Pennsylvania incident I have proof the police themselves notified casinos about the cards and names even though they had admitted I committed no crimes and pressed no charges. Even though all those people told the police I had their permission to use the cards

I have proof of this because of ongoing court issues and discovery documents (litigation nothing charging me with a crime of theft or whatever in connection with the cards)

So, who doesn't call the police when they are robbed?


ZCore13

Quote: Zcore13

So, who doesn't call the police when they are robbed?


ZCore13

Someone who finds the police will ultimately be more destructive to their business than the thief.

Quote: Zcore13

So, who doesn't call the police when they are robbed?


ZCore13

Writers of bad fiction.

Quote: Zcore13

So, who doesn't call the police when they are robbed?


ZCore13

There was also the issue of who near and dear to me did it.

Even for the money stolen I might not want my son or daughter locked up

Quote: darkoz

Someone who finds the police will ultimately be more destructive to their business than the thief.

If your business is legit, you're not worried about that scenario.


ZCore13

Quote: billryan

Writers of bad fiction.

See warning above about not reading further

Quote: Zcore13

If your business is legit, you're not worried about that scenario.


ZCore13

1000% wrong

Any AP who has had a run-in with a casino will tell you who's side the police will take

You are insinuating all AP is criminal?

Quote: darkoz

There was also the issue of who near and dear to me did it.

Even for the money stolen I might not want my son or daughter locked up

That one I can understand and it would be a hard thought process, but we are talking about a criminal here.


ZCore13

Quote: darkoz

1000% wrong

Any AP who has had a run-in with a casino will tell you who's side the police will take

You are insinuating all AP is criminal?

No, not unless you cross another line of collusion with Staff. But i would consider having hundreds of players cards in others names shady at minimum. Not sure about criminal.


ZCore13

Quote: Zcore13

If your business is legit, you're not worried about that scenario.


ZCore13

I have to disagree with you on this one, ZCore. Many AP techniques are absolutely legal, but they absolutely look shady to anyone who doesn't know the details of gambling law. In fact I would amend that statement to most AP techniques.

How many police officers would know that hole-carding is absolutely, 100% legal? I bet more than half would assume it is cheating. Additionally, authorities will almost always take the casino's side in these kinds of issues, and casinos will absolutely do everything they can to convince cops that you are doing something illegal, even if you are not.

Sure you will win in court eventually, but it will cost you in time, effort, and most importantly, legal fees. I can totally understand darkoz's position to not call the police.

Quote: AcesAndEights

I have to disagree with you on this one, ZCore. Many AP techniques are absolutely legal, but they absolutely look shady to anyone who doesn't know the details of gambling law. In fact I would amend that statement to most AP techniques.

How many police officers would know that hole-carding is absolutely, 100% legal? I bet more than half would assume it is cheating. Additionally, authorities will almost always take the casino's side in these kinds of issues, and casinos will absolutely do everything they can to convince cops that you are doing something illegal, even if you are not.

Sure you will win in court eventually, but it will cost you in time, effort, and most importantly, legal fees. I can totally understand darkoz's position to not call the police.

As I said, we're dealing with very thin lines here. In my opinion, definitely into the shady section. I would not partake in anything with other peoples names on it. That's a line I would never cross. I'm pretty sure that breaks most casinos terms of service. Hole carding does not.


ZCore13

Quote: Zcore13

If your business is legit, you're not worried about that scenario.


ZCore13

Its like you are pretending you don't know what youtube is. Go to youtube and watch a hundred police brutality videos and then come back and say the same thing again. There are clear examples of people calling police to help them with something (non-AP related) and they end up in cuffs or beaten up or their dog shot etc.

Plus, there is maybe the most important reason, once you call the police you can't threaten to call the police anymore and that leverage is a valuable tool.