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JIMMYFOCKER
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April 17th, 2011 at 4:23:19 AM permalink
Quote: FleaStiff

Because its safe. Neither of you are going to get serious about it or try to make it more than what it is. You are not "going after him". Whether its a "my place now and don't still be there when I wake up" situation or something a bit more subtle and substantial its still pretty much a question of mutual convenience. This is often why women who want a "friend with benefits" will select a married man. He is going to focus solely on the benefits and not on any sort of entangling relationship. Many married men have an "out of town girl". Usually its a single woman whom they call when they learn their wife will be out of town for a few nights.




You have to be joking.
JimMorrison
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April 17th, 2011 at 4:29:14 AM permalink
Quote: JIMMYFOCKER

You have to be joking.



I agree with FleaStiff on this.
EvenBob: "Look America, I have a tiny wee-wee, can anybody help me?"
JimMorrison
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April 17th, 2011 at 4:30:11 AM permalink
Quote: HotBlonde

So maybe my grandmother enjoys Disneyland as much as I do, but maybe I enjoy going more often than she does. Make sense?



Pic of grandma?
EvenBob: "Look America, I have a tiny wee-wee, can anybody help me?"
HotBlonde
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April 18th, 2011 at 2:17:52 PM permalink
Quote: JimMorrison

Pic of grandma?

Why in the world would you want a pic of my grandma?
OFFICIALLY and justifiably reclaimed my title as SuperHotBlonde!
JimMorrison
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April 18th, 2011 at 2:31:28 PM permalink
Quote: HotBlonde

Why in the world would you want a pic of my grandma?



She enjoys Disneyland and maybe she's hot? LOL it was just a joke.
EvenBob: "Look America, I have a tiny wee-wee, can anybody help me?"
odiousgambit
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April 18th, 2011 at 3:23:25 PM permalink
Quote: JimMorrison

She enjoys Disneyland and maybe she's hot? LOL it was just a joke.



actually mr. morrison here is quite ancient himself you see.
the next time Dame Fortune toys with your heart, your soul and your wallet, raise your glass and praise her thus: “Thanks for nothing, you cold-hearted, evil, damnable, nefarious, low-life, malicious monster from Hell!”   She is, after all, stone deaf. ... Arnold Snyder
JimMorrison
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April 18th, 2011 at 3:27:55 PM permalink
Quote: odiousgambit

actually mr. morrison here is quite ancient himself you see.



Or maybe I just have a thing for cougars? You never know lol. Plus we don't know how old Hot Blonde is, she could be 21 which could mean her grandma is conceivably as young as 50. Anyways, enough about grandmas. Hot Blonde how about a bikini pic of you? ;)
EvenBob: "Look America, I have a tiny wee-wee, can anybody help me?"
JimMorrison
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April 18th, 2011 at 6:40:24 PM permalink
Quote: Altut

What's the matter, all those big deal hot-shot night clubs aren't doing it for you??



Maybe the cougars at Blue Martini are more my thing. Let me guess, when you come to Vegas you like to hang out at Krave?
EvenBob: "Look America, I have a tiny wee-wee, can anybody help me?"
JimMorrison
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April 18th, 2011 at 9:11:14 PM permalink
Quote: Altut

When I go to LV 2 or 3 times a year, my wife's with me. You see, we both work in big aerospace firms who match up to 8% of our contributions to our 401k's, where we'll both have nice monthly pension checks when we retire, and where we put into SS and expect a decent return at the same time. Wasting money sitting in those stupid clubs isn't something we need to do for entertainment. We prefer more mature surroundings than where a bunch of drunk yuppies or vocal self-described big-shot gamblers trying to shout over the noise while their targets pretend to hear them, sit around all night.



Cool, sounds like you have a fun life. Congrats. I feel bad for anyone who has a job, a boss, etc. Glad to see it's working for you!
EvenBob: "Look America, I have a tiny wee-wee, can anybody help me?"
JimMorrison
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April 18th, 2011 at 9:31:46 PM permalink
Quote: Altut

Yes, it's awful sad having a job that sends me all over the world each month business or 1st class, that makes me stay in 5-star hotels, and where I have to eat gourmet meals on them! My boss? He's also my best friend, and we at times travel together.

Gee I think I'll have a Blue Martini to feel better.



Cool, I fly 1st class, stay at 5-star hotels and eat gourmet meals except I go where I want not where I'm sent. But again, glad you're happy. I'm not a bitter hater like you, I'd hate your life but I'm glad it works for you. Unfortunately if you were truly happy you wouldn't be so angry at everyone doing better but I'm not your therapist so I'm not going there.
EvenBob: "Look America, I have a tiny wee-wee, can anybody help me?"
JimMorrison
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April 18th, 2011 at 9:49:01 PM permalink
Quote: Altut

I have no idea if you're doing better than me/us or not, but it doesn't sound like you're very happy. Anyone who feels it necessary to come on a forum and rant about laws then announce to the world that you win lots of money playing on or at casinos, is almost always insecure about not really winning or having a great life. You see, people who really win have no need to and do not blab it to anyone within earshot. OTOH....now that's the part that you know and don't like.



Yup, your version of reality there lol. I'm sure your wife is attractive in the alternate reality you live in also lol.

Since you've been outed as being JerryLogan, JL2 etc. let me ask you, why do you persist on coming back to a forum where you are so clearly not wanted? Adopting new screennames each time just so you can post here? You have no fans, nobody who likes your posts, so what is so miserable in your life that you attempt to fill a void by continually registering new accts at WoV? That's kinda weird ya know.
EvenBob: "Look America, I have a tiny wee-wee, can anybody help me?"
JimMorrison
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April 18th, 2011 at 10:47:21 PM permalink
Quote: Altut

What's weird is someone coming on a forum where he blabs how he's a good friend of WOO, then the WOO suspends his "good friend", then you start your whining over how online poker is nailed, and finally you proclaim how you've been winning like crazy all along and we should believe you because WOO is your BFF.

Me too!



Sure thing Jerry, keep spinning your bullshit. I came here answering questions and providing a point of view from someone familiar with the industry. I never whined about anything. WOO is a friend of mine and that has nothing to do with anything including when he suspended me for using language that was against his rules. I really don't care if you believe me, it matter nothing to me. I highly doubt I'll ever meet you and you mean nothing in my life nor in the life of anyone else who matters. I'm sorry you are miserable but does it make you feel better to continue to create new accounts here after you are banned?
EvenBob: "Look America, I have a tiny wee-wee, can anybody help me?"
DeMango
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April 19th, 2011 at 3:16:33 AM permalink
Let's get back on topic and find the hot blonde a good husband!
When a rock is thrown into a pack of dogs, the one that yells the loudest is the one who got hit.
FleaStiff
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April 19th, 2011 at 4:54:39 AM permalink
Quote: DeMango

Let's get back on topic and find the hot blonde a good husband!

I have an idea that she is already pretty well off so he is going to have to be really loaded. She apparently believes in this notion of fidelity (probably believes honesty is the best policy too) so we are going to have to find a man who doesn't want a bit on the side from time to time. Now that is gonna be a difficult search: a man who is wealthy but doesn't want to enjoy the benefits that wealth traditionally brings to a male, more and younger females. It would have to be inherited wealth because a man who earns the money would be more likely to want its natural and primary rewards. I guess we would have to find a man who was obsessed with something. Too obsessed with it to want to bother with younger and more beautiful women. Perhaps someone obsessed with sports or obsessed with the business world.

Perhaps it just might be simpler to buy her a set of spare batteries, but it might be better to just de-program her from her obsessional beliefs and failure to let go of the fairy tales with which she was raised. Perhaps a gift certificate to a Group Sex club? Cheating men get married for the same reason as cheating women get married: a variety of social and sexual pressures with mate selection often based on lies and deceit anyway. Perhaps when they marry they have an intent to be faithful, but perhaps they do not.

A car can turn out to be a lemon, a house can turn out to have termites, any investment can turn sour. You pays your money and you takes your chance. If it turns out you gave the guy your hand when you should have only given him the finger, there ain't nothin' you can do to go back and change things. You make your investment, you watch over your investment... and you hope for the best. Perhaps you might recall that recent commercial: a woman comes on to her sister's fiance, he leaves the home to get condoms from his car's "glovebox" and then the two sisters and the girls' father emerge from hiding to cheer his having successfully passed a test of his fidelity. Had they but waited a few more moments, they would have known the truth. The moral of this story: learn to test more carefully.

Why is it that Hot Blonde feels that if she marries a man and he later meets someone else, that Hot Blonde won't be willing to share? Is Serial Monogamy really a type of Monogamy at all? So should we all chip in and buy Hot Blonde a subscription to Dunn and Bradstreet so she can check out prospective mates? Or should we just encourage her to develop sufficiently rewarding hobbies so that she is too busy enjoying her own life to much care if hubby is off enjoying too much variety.
zippyboy
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April 19th, 2011 at 5:34:04 AM permalink
Quote: FleaStiff

Perhaps you might recall that recent commercial: a woman comes on to her sister's fiance, he leaves the home to get condoms from his car's "glovebox" and then the two sisters and the girls' father emerge from hiding to cheer his having successfully passed a test of his fidelity. Had they but waited a few more moments, they would have known the truth. The moral of this story: learn to test more carefully.


Link to youtube, please.
"Poker sure is an easy game to beat if you have the roll to keep rebuying."
FleaStiff
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April 19th, 2011 at 5:40:25 AM permalink
Quote: Altut

I have an idea. Let's set her up with Jim Morrison.

Why not? He is young, handsome, rich, has what a woman would consider rudimentary conversation skills and he is housebroken. What more would Hot Blonde want?
FleaStiff
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April 19th, 2011 at 5:48:35 AM permalink
Quote: zippyboy

Link to youtube, please.


Funny condom commercial: ' rel='nofollow' target='_blank'>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KwDXCGXtBKY] here.
HotBlonde
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April 19th, 2011 at 11:38:37 PM permalink
WOW! I go away for a couple of days and what the hell happened? Well, where do I begin??........

Quote: JimMorrison

Or maybe I just have a thing for cougars? You never know lol. Plus we don't know how old Hot Blonde is, she could be 21 which could mean her grandma is conceivably as young as 50. Anyways, enough about grandmas. Hot Blonde how about a bikini pic of you? ;)

I am 33, as it says on my profile, and my grandmother just turned 80 this last weekend (we took her to Disneyland on her 80th birthday). And I've given 3 pictures of myself so far but am not in bikini shape yet so I'm going to have to pass on that one for a while. I don't know if you can tell from my pics but I am a curvy/voluptuous girl and don't know if showcasing my body in a bikini is the best idea.

Quote: DeMango

Let's get back on topic and find the hot blonde a good husband!

Thank you, but I'm not quite sure I'm ready to look for a husband yet. Reading a lot on what is written about cheating men has made me less than enthusiastic.

Quote: FleaStiff

I have an idea that she is already pretty well off so he is going to have to be really loaded.

I do well for myself but I am not well-off. And I would prefer a guy with a decent income as opposed to someone who is living paycheck to paycheck, yes. You can say I'm an old-fashioned girl that likes to be taken out and not have to worry about going dutch or having to bring a wallet with me. I believe in the dating advice I got from a book I own that says you should never let a man see you whip out cash or a credit card. Let the man pay and I can reciprocate in other ways, picking up his dry-cleaning, cooking dinner for him, etc.

Quote: FleaStiff

She apparently believes in this notion of fidelity (probably believes honesty is the best policy too) so we are going to have to find a man who doesn't want a bit on the side from time to time.

Well, I do (or at least I did) belive in this "notion of fidelity", and I consider myself to be a very honest person and would want that in my relationship. I'm not so naive to think that infidelity doesn't happen a lot. If I go into a relationship, marriage, whatever and I am being completely open and honest with that person and they decide to take advantage of that and sneak around and not be a good and genuine person, then I say shame on them. I would hope that I wouldn't marry someone who wasn't being honest with me.

Quote: FleaStiff

Perhaps it just might be simpler to buy her a set of spare batteries, but it might be better to just de-program her from her obsessional beliefs and failure to let go of the fairy tales with which she was raised.

Well maybe I have been programmed to believe that you can find true love. But I will tell you this, and I think this is very important, I know my own heart. And I know that I am a good... genuine... honest... and loyal person, and that tells me that if there is someone like me in the world then there has to be others like me as well. And I can never know another person's heart, so the only thing I can do is trust if I so choose.

Quote: FleaStiff

Why is it that Hot Blonde feels that if she marries a man and he later meets someone else, that Hot Blonde won't be willing to share?

I never said that. I'm talking about cheating in the sense of going behind someone else's back. And to be honest with you, and without going into too much detail, I'm actually a very open-minded person in a lot of regards even though it may not be coming off that way. That's part of the reason I wanted to start this thread. To see why cheating men get married in the first place. Maybe we're not meant to be monogamous. Do I think it would be wonderful to meet someone, fall in love with him, he falls in love with me, and we live happily ever after? Yes. But I'm beginning to wonder if that is actually possible. Part of me wonders if I should find a guy who's just "good enough" and just get married and have kids with him and just hope for the best. I haven't found an ideal guy yet and am starting to wonder if that even exists. But at the same time I feel like I would be giving up and "settling" for something that I think would be less than ideal, so I end up being stuck in this back-and-forth war in my head. Wait it out and wait for the man of my dreams <or> give up on the notion that that's even possible and just find a decent guy and just get married and have kids. I really would like to believe that the first option is still possible. So, sue me for hoping for the best and believing it could actually be possible.

I'm hoping there will be an opportunity in the near future where a bunch of us can all meet face-to-face. I'm kinda feeling like maybe I give off the wrong impression of my self on here. You may see in person I'm actually a pretty fun to be around, silly, easy-going and open-minded chick. I'm feeling like I've been giving off the impression that I'm pretty stuffy or something.
OFFICIALLY and justifiably reclaimed my title as SuperHotBlonde!
JimMorrison
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April 19th, 2011 at 11:53:02 PM permalink
Quote: HotBlonde


I am 33, as it says on my profile, and my grandmother just turned 80 this last weekend (we took her to Disneyland on her 80th birthday). And I've given 3 pictures of myself so far but am not in bikini shape yet so I'm going to have to pass on that one for a while. I don't know if you can tell from my pics but I am a curvy/voluptuous girl and don't know if showcasing my body in a bikini is the best idea.



Sorry the grandmother comment was just a joke. I'm not sure if I've seen any of the pics you put up, I guess I'll have to check them out later.
EvenBob: "Look America, I have a tiny wee-wee, can anybody help me?"
FleaStiff
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April 20th, 2011 at 12:41:01 AM permalink
Quote: HotBlonde

I'm feeling like I've been giving off the impression that I'm pretty stuffy or something.

LOL. No, not at all. No one who chooses HotBlonde as a moniker is "stuffy or something". We are just having some fun with you.

To be more serious for a moment, I do understand what you mean by emphasizing honesty and openness. An "out of town girl" that is disclosed in advance can be preferable to one that the wife inadvertently discovers. And quite frankly a woman who discloses that she does not change flat tires, does not carry cash or credit cards on a date, does not wear a noticeable watch on a date, etc. is probably going to be happier for being upfront about the disclosure than letting things be slowly discovered after a period of concealment or non-disclosure.

Some people are trusting, some are not. Some wives budget a certain amount for lawyers and CPAs to check up on their husbands every now and then. Some wives watch in utter amazement as their husband is taken away in shackles for running a Ponzi scheme and some wives feign amazement at the Ponzi arrest as they fondle the reward money in their pocket. Trust is always a balancing of attitudes and values.
BenJammin
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April 20th, 2011 at 2:51:32 AM permalink
Wizard:
It goes against nature for men to stay monogamous. As I've said in "cheating boyfriend" questions, an honorable man can hopefully override the natural urge to spread his seed around as much as possible.

I doubt most men intend to cheat when they get married. However, if they are not getting their needs met at home, the odds of cheating climb quickly.

Ben Jammin:
How do you stop a Jewish American Princess from scewing?

"Marry her"
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boymimbo
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April 21st, 2011 at 12:33:21 PM permalink
HotBlonde, attend WOVCon if you want to meet a bunch of the forum members here.

While it indeed goes against men to remain monogamous, it is his option and choice to get married and to begat children with his partner. When you get married, you need to understand the general consequences of that social and legal contract: no screwing outside of the relationship (unless your wife is *into* that, good luck) and what's mine is yours, and that the actions you take will always have impact on your partner. Of course there are great benefits too: what's yours is mine, children, stability, and generally, better health and longer life (so the studies say). You'll have someone to change your diapers when you get old.

If your needs aren't being met at home, well then, change your needs, work your relationship to get your needs or leave the relationship before you get your "needs met". That's a bunch of crap: "my needs aren't being met". If your needs are purely sexual, then there is alot of pornography (online and otherwise) out there that will "meet your needs". You can spread your seed with the box of Kleenex and the dump. If your needs are emotional, my thought is the female is as likely to cheat as the male is because well, she has emotional needs too.

Men (and women) who cheat are emotionally weak, plain and simple. So, if you are looking for a partner who won't cheat, look for one who is emotionally strong, realistic, honest and acts with integrity. He will let you know that any "needs" that aren't being met can be satisfied over the internets with a box of tissue and that anything beyond the physical "need" can be satisfied with the typical things that keep relationships strong: taking time out for each other, listening, and compromise.
----- You want the truth! You can't handle the truth!
odiousgambit
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April 21st, 2011 at 1:38:58 PM permalink
does this thing have a chance to bump off some of those other "top threads"?

Hotblonde, yes it is possible to have a good long marriage with love all the way. I would say it is not possible to have a marriage that does not change and evolve, however. If either partner expects to have the thrill of dating for the rest of his/her life, that is going to be a problem.
the next time Dame Fortune toys with your heart, your soul and your wallet, raise your glass and praise her thus: “Thanks for nothing, you cold-hearted, evil, damnable, nefarious, low-life, malicious monster from Hell!”   She is, after all, stone deaf. ... Arnold Snyder
HotBlonde
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April 25th, 2011 at 7:44:58 AM permalink
I was talking to a friend who is married and has a kid this weekend about married life. I asked her if it was hard and about how the whole falling in-love, falling out-of love thing. In her opinion, she said it wasn't really hard, and that she never really fell out of love with him. They're about to approach their 10-year anniversary and they have a 3-year old girl. Maybe it works cuz she's the one who wears the pants in the family, so to speak, so it can be a different dynamic than other relationships. But I do remember when her daughter was about 1 year old her telling me that it was really hard raising her daughter. And I even have an old friend who got married to someone who was divorced and has 2 sons, and she was telling me how hard it was. I find that I occasionally feel down when I look at my life, feeling like I should've accomplished more by this time in my life, maybe have been married, have kids by now, etc. The grass is always greener on the other side, right? But I try to remind myself that if I were in a committed relationship with kids that I may start craving the single life again and that the new situation I would be in would be practically irreversible. And when I get down on myself about not being where I believe I "should" be in life at this point, it reminds me of my dear mentor Byron Katie who says, "How do you know you should be in the situation you're currently in? Because you are!" I can sit around and feel upset all day long about how my life could have turned out but all it is is a waste of time. I'll concentrate more on my future now.

My whole mind has been looking at this so differently later. Some are even saying it's okay to have a boyfriend and cheat since you're still just "getting to know each other". I've always prided mmyself on never having cheated on a boyfriend, but now things just seem different. Maybe I have been living in a fantasy world in my head, thinking monogamy is the best way and that you can actually meet the person of your dreams who seems to be the right fit for you. Maybe that's just not realistic.
OFFICIALLY and justifiably reclaimed my title as SuperHotBlonde!
pacomartin
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April 25th, 2011 at 10:00:58 AM permalink
Quote: HotBlonde

Maybe I have been living in a fantasy world in my head, thinking monogamy is the best way and that you can actually meet the person of your dreams who seems to be the right fit for you. Maybe that's just not realistic.



It doesn't seem like an unreasonable expectation out of life. It is sad how difficult it is to even meet this basic objective.
HotBlonde
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April 25th, 2011 at 10:08:01 AM permalink
Okay, so this is totally a side question, but I was just thinking... How come it's against the law for a man to have multiple wives? I was just thinking about that television show, "Sister Wives" and how he has 4 "wives" and only one of them he is legally married to. They seem to be one big happy family for the most part. Where the hell does the government get off telling us how many spouses one can have? I'm not much of a political person, but it burns me when I think about how someone else tries to tell me how to live my life. Who the hell are they?
OFFICIALLY and justifiably reclaimed my title as SuperHotBlonde!
kp
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April 25th, 2011 at 10:16:20 AM permalink
Quote: HotBlonde

I do remember when her daughter was about 1 year old her telling me that it was really hard raising her daughter. And I even have an old friend who got married to someone who was divorced and has 2 sons, and she was telling me how hard it was.


Raising kids is hard and severely limits your freedoms. I've never had the inclination to do it myself. Kids are not a requirement for a happy committed monogamous relationship.
thecesspit
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April 25th, 2011 at 10:29:57 AM permalink
Quote: HotBlonde

Okay, so this is totally a side question, but I was just thinking... How come it's against the law for a man to have multiple wives? I was just thinking about that television show, "Sister Wives" and how he has 4 "wives" and only one of them he is legally married to. They seem to be one big happy family for the most part. Where the hell does the government get off telling us how many spouses one can have? I'm not much of a political person, but it burns me when I think about how someone else tries to tell me how to live my life. Who the hell are they?



Various members of the (conservative) Christians will tell you marriage is between ONE man and ONE woman. I maybe unfair there, there maybe other religious and non-religious groups who want restrict marriage as such a thing.

Plenty of political types will decide that they have control over your social and moral life. It's one of the two axis of politcal view... how right or left wing you are when it comes to economics, and how conservative/liberal you are when it comes to social controls (who you sleep with, what you put in your body, etc).

(It's also against the law for one woman to have multiple husbands)

Quote:

My whole mind has been looking at this so differently later. Some are even saying it's okay to have a boyfriend and cheat since you're still just "getting to know each other". I've always prided mmyself on never having cheated on a boyfriend, but now things just seem different. Maybe I have been living in a fantasy world in my head, thinking monogamy is the best way and that you can actually meet the person of your dreams who seems to be the right fit for you.



I think it's perfectly right not to cheat in the getting to know you phase of a relationship. Life is hard work, so why make it harder. The trick is to realise as soon as you can that the person isn't one you want to spend much more time with to progress onwards.

The other trick is not to dream to much, because the person of your dreams may not be the person whose the right fit. There's not just one person out there (in my view at least) and the right person may not be the person who you've written a precise list for, but someone who has some aspects you highly desire, some you didn't know about and some you didn't think you'd like, but actually work as a good complement.
"Then you can admire the real gambler, who has neither eaten, slept, thought nor lived, he has so smarted under the scourge of his martingale, so suffered on the rack of his desire for a coup at trente-et-quarante" - Honore de Balzac, 1829
odiousgambit
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April 25th, 2011 at 10:34:54 AM permalink
Quote: HotBlonde

Okay, so this is totally a side question, but I was just thinking... How come it's against the law for a man to have multiple wives? I was just thinking about that television show, "Sister Wives" and how he has 4 "wives" and only one of them he is legally married to. They seem to be one big happy family for the most part. Where the hell does the government get off telling us how many spouses one can have? I'm not much of a political person, but it burns me when I think about how someone else tries to tell me how to live my life. Who the hell are they?



well, they can do what's usually done and only have one wife recognized by the govt., the multiple wives recognized by the religion.

I don't think you are thinking out this. What multiple wives means is the head honcho with a harem, almost always a Cult. You may be being attracted to the idea of Polyamory which is certainly different.
the next time Dame Fortune toys with your heart, your soul and your wallet, raise your glass and praise her thus: “Thanks for nothing, you cold-hearted, evil, damnable, nefarious, low-life, malicious monster from Hell!”   She is, after all, stone deaf. ... Arnold Snyder
pacomartin
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April 25th, 2011 at 11:17:22 AM permalink
Quote: HotBlonde

Okay, so this is totally a side question, but I was just thinking... How come it's against the law for a man to have multiple wives? I was just thinking about that television show, "Sister Wives" and how he has 4 "wives" and only one of them he is legally married to. They seem to be one big happy family for the most part. Where the hell does the government get off telling us how many spouses one can have? I'm not much of a political person, but it burns me when I think about how someone else tries to tell me how to live my life. Who the hell are they?



Libertarianism is a political philosophy that upholds individual liberty, especially freedom of expression and action. In it's most extreme forms, government would consist of little more than miltary force to defend the nation (possibly uphold a minimal amount of international military treaties), and domestic government might consist of police force which only has a mandate against violent and property crimes. Even education, social security, and medicine could be more or less the purpose of government.

But for every social law, you will always find someone that could break that law without hurting anyone. I personally believe that if you looked hard enough you would find kind slave owners, whose slaves were better off as chattel slaves than as wage slaves.

But for every polygamous marriage that is high functioning, you would probably have four or five that were abusive. Even in societies that permit multiple wives (like Saudi Arabia which allows up to four) there are strict laws about treating all wives the same. The natural inclination of men who would want multiple wives would not be to treat them the same. One would be for child-rearing, one for cooking and cleaning, and one or two for sex. In Saudi Arabia the overwhelming majority of men do not take multiple wives because the requirement to treat them equally is very difficult and expensive. From my visit to the Middle East I gathered that having four wives is a major status symbol.

Polyandry (one wife with multiple husbands) in human relationships occurs or has occurred in Tibet; the Canadian Arctic; northern parts of Nepal; Nigeria; Bhutan; parts of India (Ladakh; Zanskar); the Nymba; Sri Lanka; and some pre-contact Polynesian societies, though probably only among higher caste women in this last. It is also encountered in some regions of Mongolia, among the Mosuo people in China, and in some Sub-Saharan African such as the Maasai people in Kenya and northern Tanzania and American indigenous communities. Saskatchewan Canada is the only jurisdiction in North America to have "judicially sanctioned" polyandrous unions at a family law court level.

You could easily make the argument that USA could legalize polyandrous marriages, since statistically speaking the number would be low, and the probability of a man being abused in such a marriage is much lower than a woman who is one of a several wives.
HotBlonde
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April 25th, 2011 at 12:44:03 PM permalink
Quote: pacomartin

The natural inclination of men who would want multiple wives would not be to treat them the same. One would be for child-rearing, one for cooking and cleaning, and one or two for sex...

You could easily make the argument that USA could legalize polyandrous marriages, since statistically speaking the number would be low, and the probability of a man being abused in such a marriage is much lower than a woman who is one of a several wives.

Wow, what a thought! It's so funny cuz I'm kind of in a situation right now where I'm noticing different guys I've been hanging out with all have different vices and virtues. One is more affectionate than the other and has more money, but the other one is much cuter and we have more things in common. Hmmm... what a wonderful thought! To have multiple husbands where one would be rich and can provide me a lavish lifestyle and take me on extravagant vacations, another one I could have a whole bunch of fun in bed with, another to clean the house and run my errands for me, another one to go out on the town and have fun with. I might need to start lobbying for some law changes soon! ;)
OFFICIALLY and justifiably reclaimed my title as SuperHotBlonde!
FleaStiff
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April 25th, 2011 at 1:06:42 PM permalink
Some polygamous men simply keep "marrying" younger wives but whatever the situation polygamy is not always a cult or always an oppressive harem. Usually polygamy means decision making by females, often educated and employed females who have lives outside the home.

Some people do not aim for monogamy at all. Some aim for it but are not particularly upset if they fail to achieve it.

Some women have no desire to be tied to a man just to reproduce successfully. Bearing and raising a child can take time and money and require assistance particularly during sleep deprivation and the boring tedium of wet diapers. In a world of greater economic opportunities many women are choosing to be focused on the economics rather their reputations. Family life is a basic structure of our society but for a long time the definition of a family has been changing drastically. The Edwardian Era focused on the external presentation of a family life, not the obvious reality of it. Now many people are focusing on the satisfaction of a varied sex life but the economic and genetic stability of a married but not monogamous life.
thecesspit
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April 25th, 2011 at 1:17:19 PM permalink
Quote: HotBlonde

Wow, what a thought! It's so funny cuz I'm kind of in a situation right now where I'm noticing different guys I've been hanging out with all have different vices and virtues. One is more affectionate than the other and has more money, but the other one is much cuter and we have more things in common. Hmmm... what a wonderful thought! To have multiple husbands where one would be rich and can provide me a lavish lifestyle and take me on extravagant vacations, another one I could have a whole bunch of fun in bed with, another to clean the house and run my errands for me, another one to go out on the town and have fun with. I might need to start lobbying for some law changes soon! ;)



Polyamory isn't illegal, so marry the rich one, and run around in bed with the cute one, while the rich one is with his tennis 'coach'.

Joking aside, polyarmory can work for some people, depending on the openess of their communication, ability to share time and emotions, and general out look on life.

I'd not touch it myself, but I know others who have for more than a short period of time (time will tell if it'll work for ever, but nothing is permanent in life anyways, so who can tell if two monogamous people will stay together for ever either).
"Then you can admire the real gambler, who has neither eaten, slept, thought nor lived, he has so smarted under the scourge of his martingale, so suffered on the rack of his desire for a coup at trente-et-quarante" - Honore de Balzac, 1829
odiousgambit
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April 25th, 2011 at 1:34:58 PM permalink
anyone else notice Hotblonde is all worried about her husband being monogamous enough, but is pretty broadminded about what might be right for her?

ummmm, as the title of this thread suggests?
the next time Dame Fortune toys with your heart, your soul and your wallet, raise your glass and praise her thus: “Thanks for nothing, you cold-hearted, evil, damnable, nefarious, low-life, malicious monster from Hell!”   She is, after all, stone deaf. ... Arnold Snyder
HotBlonde
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April 25th, 2011 at 1:47:29 PM permalink
Quote: odiousgambit

anyone else notice Hotblonde is all worried about her husband being monogamous enough, but is pretty broadminded about what might be right for her?

ummmm, as the title of this thread suggests?

Well I do have to say that as most threads are posted just as a matter of discussion, it's so weird how talking about this has really opened my eyes to a lot of stuff. I've thought for a long time that I would be happiest if I found the man of my dreams and had children to love. Now I am able to question that and am able to see that maybe that is not the right way for me. Byron Katie says there is no outside love, the love we really feel from "another" is really the love that we're feeling inside of ourselves. That's why self-love has always been touted as the best form of love. And to be honest with you, I actually enjoy the single life. It's fun to be a girl and to be pursued. It kind of reminds me of guys who have said that they like the chase, but once they get the girl it's all over and they get immediately bored. I'm sitting here sometimes "hoping to get caught", but I kind of like being pursued and maybe it would just be plain boring to sit in a situation and to not be open to be continuously pursued. And I'm not talking about playing games, or leading guys on just for the chase, but it feels good to be desired. Maybe that goes away substantially in a committed relationship.

I like how this thread is really making me think about things. Reality isn't as fantastical as the idea I had about an ideal relationship.
OFFICIALLY and justifiably reclaimed my title as SuperHotBlonde!
FleaStiff
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April 25th, 2011 at 2:40:30 PM permalink
Little girls are often brought up on fairy tales about "kiss the frog, he turns into prince and you live happily ever after". Then they find out that it takes a heck of a lot of frogs to even find a prince and often the prince turns out to have other goals too and not all happiness is defined by monogamy anyway. Later girls are brought up to be "good girls" or "nice girls" so as to protect reputations and keep them from premature marriages and premature side-tracks of wet diapers prior to someone being there to buy the diapers.

Eventually you define your own goals and your own compromises. Real life sets in ... often it does bring a prince. Often it doesn't. Often your views change. Often his views change. Many dance floors now have an odd number on them. Some couples work in a business together and then go home together. Some women are more the "for better or worse, but not for lunch" type.

If you like being "Hot" that doesn't necessarily limit you.
AZDuffman
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April 25th, 2011 at 3:39:45 PM permalink
Quote: pacomartin

But for every polygamous marriage that is high functioning, you would probably have four or five that were abusive. Even in societies that permit multiple wives (like Saudi Arabia which allows up to four) there are strict laws about treating all wives the same. The natural inclination of men who would want multiple wives would not be to treat them the same. One would be for child-rearing, one for cooking and cleaning, and one or two for sex. In Saudi Arabia the overwhelming majority of men do not take multiple wives because the requirement to treat them equally is very difficult and expensive. From my visit to the Middle East I gathered that having four wives is a major status symbol.



One of the motorcycle gangs had a rule allowing 4 girlfriends with a breakdown like that. The guy could have more than 4 but the gang only allowed 4 "hands off" women. Bring #5 along and she was property of and fair game for the gang, not the member individually. IIRC The "house mouse" raised his kids. The "old lady" was the one-and-only he could count on for anything. The rest were for sex, both for him and his profit.
All animals are equal, but some are more equal than others
FleaStiff
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April 25th, 2011 at 4:07:57 PM permalink
In Saudi Arabia the rules require that the women be treated equally, not equally well, just equally. Of course there is no way for any of the wives to protest about anything.

In many polygamous households the wives manage all the money.
Doc
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April 25th, 2011 at 5:26:16 PM permalink
For a very humorous look at both polygyny and polyandry (and a number of other topics), try the 1969 musical film "Paint Your Wagon." It has so many unusual aspects that you even get to hear singing performances from both Lee Marvin and Clint Eastwood.
pacomartin
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April 25th, 2011 at 6:56:30 PM permalink
Quote: HotBlonde

Wow, what a thought! It's so funny cuz I'm kind of in a situation right now where I'm noticing different guys I've been hanging out with all have different vices and virtues. One is more affectionate than the other and has more money, but the other one is much cuter and we have more things in common. Hmmm... what a wonderful thought! To have multiple husbands where one would be rich and can provide me a lavish lifestyle and take me on extravagant vacations, another one I could have a whole bunch of fun in bed with, another to clean the house and run my errands for me, another one to go out on the town and have fun with. I might need to start lobbying for some law changes soon! ;)





Your fantasy may get a film airing very soon. One of the world's most famous polyandrous women is Draupadi, who has five husbands.

Inspired by the success of his latest film Rajneeti director Prakash Jha now wants to make a film on his favorite character in Mahabharata (a Sanskrit epics of ancient India). He commented that this character will be his ultimate tribute to womanhood. And guess what?




He has no one other than Hollywood’s most beautiful actress Angelina Jolie in mind for the characacter of Draupadi. Well that is surely a dream cast and we hope that this dream of Prakash Jha meets the reality soon. We all know that Draupadi was a firebrand woman who was extremely bold and did not shy away from expressing her sexuality and desires.

She was the epitome of boldness and yet was a woman who was extremely graceful. Draupadi was also an extremely beautiful woman and was famous for her stunning looks. We think that Jolie would suit the role of this historical character to the t.

Her beauty has inspired people to write poems on her and often has mesmerizing effect on them. Jolie has played unconventional characters with much gutso and according to us, there would be no other Hollywood actress who can step into the shoes of Draupadi.

Why don't you read up on Draupadi and talk about her on one of your dates? Come back and tell us if the guy sneaks out of the back window.
HotBlonde
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April 26th, 2011 at 9:31:29 AM permalink
Quote: pacomartin

Why don't you read up on Draupadi and talk about her on one of your dates? Come back and tell us if the guy sneaks out of the back window.

Yeah right, cuz that's what I need is worse luck in the dating field!
OFFICIALLY and justifiably reclaimed my title as SuperHotBlonde!
buzzpaff
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April 26th, 2011 at 9:47:45 AM permalink
Ever heard the expression " no harm, no foul" ? At least you are not a single MOM struggling to raise a child and her only fault is that she fell in love and married the wrong man !!! You are a beautiful woman at 33. Focus on the future, not the past !!!!
FleaStiff
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April 26th, 2011 at 11:35:04 AM permalink
Just about any decent guy will get up and walk out if you start talking about the Baghvad Ghita or some such thing.
My sign? Its "dollar" but if you ask, I'm going to reply "Wandering Star" and leave.
And on the first date.... don't use the "C-word". (Commitment).
HotBlonde
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April 26th, 2011 at 12:36:03 PM permalink
I'm kind of tired of dating and to be honest with you at this point I really think I need to just enjoy being single and appreciate the freedom in it. Too much frustration when it comes to the opposite sex. Sorry, men! Maybe I'm just in a bad mood cuz I've had a stressful last couple of days.
OFFICIALLY and justifiably reclaimed my title as SuperHotBlonde!
thecesspit
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April 26th, 2011 at 12:37:50 PM permalink
Quote: FleaStiff

Just about any decent guy will get up and walk out if you start talking about the Baghvad Ghita or some such thing.



No decent guy should get up and walk out on a lady in the middle of date.

He should at least make his move to wrap it up as quick as possible if there's no hope, but walking out is just plain ungentlemanly. :)
"Then you can admire the real gambler, who has neither eaten, slept, thought nor lived, he has so smarted under the scourge of his martingale, so suffered on the rack of his desire for a coup at trente-et-quarante" - Honore de Balzac, 1829
MrV
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September 1st, 2011 at 11:15:59 PM permalink
Polygamists are morons; they ALL make the same, stupid, easily avoidable mistake: they get married.

There would be absolutely NO PROBLEM with their actions if they were single.

Multiple bed partners?

Have at it, brother.

Live with more than one woman?

Hello, Three's Company.

Seriously, why would a polygamist even consider marriage, but for the Religious angle?
"What, me worry?"
HotBlonde
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September 2nd, 2011 at 8:37:58 AM permalink
Quote: MrV

Polygamists are morons; they ALL make the same, stupid, easily avoidable mistake: they get married.

There would be absolutely NO PROBLEM with their actions if they were single.

Multiple bed partners?

Have at it, brother.

Live with more than one woman?

Hello, Three's Company.

Seriously, why would a polygamist even consider marriage, but for the Religious angle?

It's funny that this post was rejuvenated cuz I was just thinking about it.

And your points are the main reason I wrote this. I noticed that someone had read the title of this post to be "Why do married men cheat?" but if you look at the actual wording of the title it's "Why do CHEATING MEN get married", not the other way around. And that's a good question, which is why I asked it. Why do cheating men get married? I think it's selfish to marry someone and go behind her back and cheat when you put her under the impression that you were going to remain faithful. Either marry someone who's ok with you being with other women on the side or don't get married at all. If you say it's for kids you can have kids outside a marriage. I'm just not into the dishonesty of it all.
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boymimbo
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September 2nd, 2011 at 8:45:54 AM permalink
Most if not all men go into a marriage with the goal of NOT Cheating, even if they've had a history of cheating in the past. It's not like they get up to the altar and intend to cheat.

Intentions is far different from reality. The reality is that there are a lot of men who get bored with their marriage and seek sex and or emotional validation outside of the marriage. It's a weakness brought on from millions of years of being hardwired to screw whatever they can to propogate the species. Women do the same thing as they're hardwired to couple with someone who will provide them the greatest opportunity to safely raise children.

And men are stupid because they think they can have their cake and lick it too. They're so smart they won't get caught. They can have a wife making income providing them with financial stability. They can have children and pets who love them to bits. They can own a house, all the while, he's having sex with someone else. Some women are stupid enough to forgive them too when they get caught. The men promise, oh, I've changed, I won't do it again... bull!
----- You want the truth! You can't handle the truth!
FleaStiff
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September 2nd, 2011 at 6:25:47 PM permalink
Quote: boymimbo

Most if not all men go into a marriage with the goal of NOT Cheating, even if they've had a history of cheating in the past. It's not like they get up to the altar and intend to cheat!

I don't know if that is true at all. Many men have their views rather set though not necessarily revealed to the bride. (I'm not married, my wife is married; I'm married but I'm not dead; etc.). Some marriages are disappointing some are merely more "real life" than "adventure". Variety? A trophy mistress? Men feel the loss of their youth too.
HotBlonde
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September 2nd, 2011 at 9:18:23 PM permalink
I think this is very sad. Why would you lie to someone and live a lie? This is in no way acceptable. Again I refer to #1 in my must haves list in a relationship... HONESTY!!!!! Some guy who decides to get into a marriage, becoming FAMILY with this person and living in this family dishonestly must've had some kind of messed up childhood. It's inexcusable.
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