Why do cheating men get married?

Some single women don wedding bands before going out on the town because it improves their action.
Some men used to remove wedding bands while entering a bar while attending a convention, now most don't bother to remove it ... and often find its better to keep it on.

Some women expect a man to have something on the side and are concerned with her age and the amount of money he spends on her but not particularly concerned about her existence. Many women do judge a man by how expensive his suit and his car are.

I know of one marriage wherein Sundays seem to be very interesting. He works on an old car which he and his auto mechanic are restoring and then she spends the night with him. The wife goes out to art shows, bookstores and restaurants with a local author and then spends the night at his place where she has "half a bookshelf and half a closet" and can go directly to the office on Monday morning.

Quote: Wavy70

There is also an interesting phenomenon where once a man is married the amount of women who hit on him grows.

I can attest to this too. Sometimes I take my wedding ring off, and the difference is noticeable. Women are much more flirty and chatty with me when it is on. To the single men out there, I would seriously consider wearing one.

What has always amazed me are the women who date a married man, after his divorce she marries him then it shocked months later to find he is cheating on her. DUHHHH!

Quote: Wizard

I can attest to this too. Sometimes I take my wedding ring off, and the difference is noticeable. Women are much more flirty and chatty with me when it is on. To the single men out there, I would seriously consider wearing one.

I have always gotten along much better with men than other women. I like sports and math and science and didn't have much in common with other females until I had children, which always gives you something to talk about. So if a guy has a ring on I think I'll have a chance for a conversation that doesn't lead to him hitting on me. Before I was married, I'd go to the gay after-hours clubs so I could drink and dance and not get propositioned since my fiance was studying or in bed since he was in school and I worked nights.

I waited until I was almost 30 to get married and we had been together about 3 years. Still married 18 years later and no drama.

Quote: HotBlonde

I've always wondered this. Why in the world would a man get married, and lie and make a life-long commitment to someone just to go out and cheat anyway?

There's an incorrect assumption there. Far fewer men get married with the intention of cheating than those that actually do end up cheating.

Quote: HotBlonde

I believe you are right about this. Well, for me, if I were to marry someone it would be with someone who I was completely intimate with (I'm talking about on a deep level, I guess you could say on a spiritual level). He would be someone I wouldn't keep any secrets from, and vice versa. It would be so I could be with that person and have that bond with him and raise good children with. I'd want him to be someone I would look up to, and would want him to see things in me that he looks up to and admires as well. It would basically be a partnership that was based on love, intimacy and trust and he would be someone who I adored.

Your statements make me think of the standard reply a guy uses when confronted by his wife: "She doesn't mean anything to me. It was just sex."

So if it was just sex, this seems to indicate that there's something wrong with the sex at home. Maybe, maybe not. But there is SOMETHING at home that isn't the same as when he got married.

It kinda makes me think of the posters that have a picture of some hot girl, and the caption says something like, "For every pretty girl, there is a guy who is tired of putting up with her shit."

Quote: HotBlonde

Well that's why it's important to me to really get to know someone before making a big decision like that. I know that there are people who get married and haven't taken enough time to really get to know their partner.

Good idea. I don't have statistics, but I think the younger a person is when they marry, the more likely they are to divorce.

For what it's worth, I'm still on my first marriage. Still happily married after 13 years. Never cheated. I got married when I was 39.

Wife was 18 and I was 28 when we married. Still together after 42 years, But have to agree about younger marriages, People change over the years and wake up to find their spouse is a different person now. When I run into childhood friends I find the guys I thought
had good values are now cheating dogs. And dead beat daas who have money to gamble but none for child support. Some of worst trouble makers as young men now asking me if I have been saved. Recently read that average age for marriage now is 28, anybody
got any stats Seems high to me.

Quote: buzzpaff

Wife was 18 and I was 28 when we married. Still together after 42 years, But have to agree about younger marriages, People change over the years and wake up to find their spouse is a different person now. When I run into childhood friends I find the guys I thought
had good values are now cheating dogs. And dead beat daas who have money to gamble but none for child support. Some of worst trouble makers as young men now asking me if I have been saved. Recently read that average age for marriage now is 28, anybody
got any stats Seems high to me.

Does seem high, but I think it varies a lot. When I was dealing with people in the military you were in a minority if you were not married with 2 kids by age 20. College grads I know all waited until their late 20s. I am 41 and still not married.

Just noticed this, which might call into question the proposition that monogamy is unnatural for men:

Why human penises lost their spines

Quote: Wizard

I can attest to this too. Sometimes I take my wedding ring off, and the difference is noticeable. Women are much more flirty and chatty with me when it is on.

This is so strange to me, interesting, in fact, because to me that was never my experience. When I'm out, at a bar, a blackjack table, etc. and I see someone who I think is cute or funny or whatever, and then I notice that they have a wedding ring on, it's a total buzzkill, so to speak. I go from thinking this person is cute and possibly available to being completely unattracted to them (no offense to the married men on here, but know that I respect you enough to never hit on you). So to hear that women are more flirty or attracted to married men is just so foreign to me. Why in the world would I want to go after a married man? If I am looking for love, I want to look for someone who would be attracted to me and want to pursue me. And usually when I'm out in public and I see a someone who I'm attracted to, unlike how most men think, I usually am not thinking about trying to sleep with them or imagining what they would be like in bed. That's way different than how men think. If I want to have sex with someone, usually it's because I like them and want to "make love" with them, not to just have someone to pound it out with, so to speak. And notice I said USUALLY. I'm not against an occasional hook-up here or there.

Quote: HotBlonde

Why in the world would I want to go after a married man?

Because its safe. Neither of you are going to get serious about it or try to make it more than what it is. You are not "going after him". Whether its a "my place now and don't still be there when I wake up" situation or something a bit more subtle and substantial its still pretty much a question of mutual convenience. This is often why women who want a "friend with benefits" will select a married man. He is going to focus solely on the benefits and not on any sort of entangling relationship. Many married men have an "out of town girl". Usually its a single woman whom they call when they learn their wife will be out of town for a few nights.