FarFromVegas
FarFromVegas
Joined: Dec 10, 2010
  • Threads: 7
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March 22nd, 2011 at 12:28:10 PM permalink
The Itch



Once upon a time lived a beautiful Queen with large breasts. Ted the Dragon Slayer obsessed over the Queen for this reason. He knew that the penalty for his desire would be death should he try to touch them, but he had to try.

One day Ted revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Horatio the Physician, the King's chief doctor. Horatio thought about this and said that he could arrange for Ted to more than satisfy his desire, but it would cost him 1000 gold coins to arrange it. Without pause Ted readily agreed to the scheme.

The next day, Horatio made a batch of itching powder and poured a little bit into the Queen's bra while she bathed . Soon after she dressed , the itching commenced and grew intense. Upon being summoned to the Royal Chambers to address this incident, Horatio informed the King and Queen that only a special saliva, if applied for four hours, would cure this type of itch, and that tests had shown that only the saliva of Ted would work as the antidote to cure the itch.

The King, eager to help his Queen, quickly summoned Ted to their chambers.. Horatio then slipped Ted the antidote for the itching powder, which he put into his mouth, and for the next four hours, Ted worked passionately on the Queen's large and magnificent breasts.



The Queen's itching was eventually relieved , and Ted left satisfied and hailed as a hero.. Upon returning to his chamber, Ted found Horatio demanding his payment of 1,000 gold coins . With his obsession now satisfied , Ted couldn't have cared less and, knowing that Horatio could never report this matter to the King, and with a laugh told him to 'get lost'.

The next day, Horatio slipped a massive dose of the same itching powder into the King's underwear. The King immediately summoned Ted.

The moral of the story.............




Pay your bills
Each of us is entitled to his own opinion, but not to his own facts. Preparing for a fight about your bad decision is not as smart as making a good decision.
s2dbaker
s2dbaker
Joined: Jun 10, 2010
  • Threads: 51
  • Posts: 3259
March 22nd, 2011 at 12:42:07 PM permalink
Quote: Wavy70

What’s the difference between Sarah Palin’s mouth and vagina?

Not everything that comes out of her vagina is retarded…

I am so stealing that!
Someday, joor goin' to see the name of Googie Gomez in lights and joor goin' to say to joorself, "Was that her?" and then joor goin' to answer to joorself, "That was her!" But you know somethin' mister? I was always her yuss nobody knows it! - Googie Gomez
zippyboy
zippyboy
Joined: Jan 19, 2011
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  • Posts: 1098
March 22nd, 2011 at 1:00:07 PM permalink


"Poker sure is an easy game to beat if you have the roll to keep rebuying."
AZDuffman
AZDuffman
Joined: Nov 2, 2009
  • Threads: 221
  • Posts: 11373
March 22nd, 2011 at 3:26:25 PM permalink
Quote: s2dbaker

I am so stealing that!



Showing again how un-clever the anti-Palin crowd is. Be sure to say, "YES WE CAN" after you say it, anti-Palin types seem to get taken in by that line.
All animals are equal, but some are more equal than others
blount2000
blount2000
Joined: Oct 15, 2010
  • Threads: 42
  • Posts: 328
March 22nd, 2011 at 3:53:35 PM permalink
A man releases a genie from a lamp and is granted one wish. The man leans over and whispers his wish into the genie's ear and the genie exclaims..."YOUR WISH IS GRANTED!!".

When the smoke clears, the man looks down and sees a little person about a foot tall dressed in a black tuxedo.

The man looks confused for a moment and then says, "No, no, no. Not a 12 inch pianist!"
You serious, Clark?
AZDuffman
AZDuffman
Joined: Nov 2, 2009
  • Threads: 221
  • Posts: 11373
March 22nd, 2011 at 4:25:06 PM permalink
deleted
All animals are equal, but some are more equal than others
Knuckleball3
Knuckleball3
Joined: Nov 30, 2010
  • Threads: 7
  • Posts: 98
March 22nd, 2011 at 5:03:22 PM permalink
Quote: WizardofEngland

Best joke ever?

Two words. Jerry Logan



Wanna hear a joke?

Two Words: Women's athletics
"In the poker game of life, women are the rake" Edward Norton (Rounders)
appistappis
appistappis
Joined: Mar 27, 2010
  • Threads: 1
  • Posts: 105
March 22nd, 2011 at 7:28:30 PM permalink
guy goes intio a psychiatrist's office wearing nothing but saran wrap.

the dr. says "I can clearly see your nuts".
Nareed
Nareed
Joined: Nov 11, 2009
  • Threads: 373
  • Posts: 11413
March 22nd, 2011 at 7:53:54 PM permalink
Man in therapy says , "Doctor, last night I dreamt you were my mother. Does that makes sense to you?"

"I don't know," the doctor replies. "What did you do after you woke up?"

"I had a cookie and a coke for breakfast and then I came here."

"A cookie and a coke? You call that breakfast?"
Donald Trump is a fucking criminal

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