A couple thoughts
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Also can you AP a relationship or make it break even and fair? Is there a perfect formula to make sure you're not hurting yourself by being in a relationship? Is there a perfect ratio, I'm afraid not, but maybe there is. What would you consider?
Quote: onenickelmiracleI'm afraid my personal security is weak, I know it's weak. On my phone and computer, I've wired money, have them set to automatically have my email and passwords there to be used with a click. I was able to get them off my computer, but not my phone. If anyone would grab my phone, they could send the money and I wouldn't know it per se and the money would be gone.
Lock your phone, you should have a lock function with a pin or password to set up
Quote: aceofspadesRelationships are usually, ultimately, -EV (emphasis on the expected in expected value)
I'd say in most cases it depends on your outlook/attitude.
If you are petty, a scorekeeper, selfish, childish, have a victim mentality, etc. etc. then you'll come out of relationships whining about everything you lost and how you didn't get enough in return.
If you are more stoic, capable of seeing another person's POV, can appreciate the good times, remember all the nice things the SO did for you, and are good at accepting things as they are, as opposed to how you wish they were, relationships are more often going to be +EV.
Obviously, some are bad. Bad if you fall into group 2, those will be learning experiences.
Quote: djatcMake sure whomever you end up with isn't a droned out person
Quote: onenickelmiracleI'm afraid my personal security is weak, I know it's weak. On my phone and computer, I've wired money, have them set to automatically have my email and passwords there to be used with a click. I was able to get them off my computer, but not my phone. If anyone would grab my phone, they could send the money and I wouldn't know it per se and the money would be gone. I left Amazon open, I use it, though things could be sent to a different address. Heard a story of a girl wiring cash to her account and wiring the lost money to the checking account from their savings account, and shut off all communications and notifications. What else am I vulnerable on?
Also can you AP a relationship or make it break even and fair? Is there a perfect formula to make sure you're not hurting yourself by being in a relationship? Is there a perfect ratio, I'm afraid not, but maybe there is. What would you consider?
I believe relationships can be +EV. My girlfriend's finances and mine are mostly distinct, but we help each other. If she buys groceries, she pays less for rent. If I get some food for our pets, I pay less for rent. It keeps us conscious of our spending.
I'd really just recommend tit for tat in most cases. Are they a giver, a taker or both? A giver is great, obviously and someone who can do both is probably more common but just don't end up with a taker. It can be easy to miss those red flags in relationships until it's too late.
Quote: aceofspadesRelationships are usually, ultimately,
Sad but true. Best thing is to have
no expectations, don't marry for
love, be equal in wealth and earning,
and sign a pre-nup. Marrying for
love is the dumbest thing to do,
it's like going to work in a chocolate
factory because you love chocolate.
That will soon be killed and you'll
eventually hate the stuff.
Quote: MintyI believe relationships can be +EV. My girlfriend's
And there is the fly in the ointment.
Believe with every fiber of who you
are that the GF will change for the
worse when she's a wife. I'm not
saying she'll turn into an ogre, but
I guarantee a lot of the things you
like now will disappear, and you'll
be clinging to the few that are left.
Women are very clever. They know
they're almost impossible to be
married to, so they hide it when in
in the GF stage. They're sweet and
kind and thoughtful and oh so giving.
Expect that to be cut in half at the
wedding. And to go down by degrees
every year after.
There was blood everywhere. More blood than I’ve ever had come out of me. It was kind of nice that there was someone in my life that ran over while I was on the ground, blood flowing everywhere, who got me a towel.
Then she looked at the cut, said it didn’t need stitches, and then left to get the baby to bed.
It was kind of nice. That’s marriage.
Quote: onenickelmiracleAlso can you AP a relationship or make it break even and fair? Is there a perfect formula to make sure you're not hurting yourself by being in a relationship? Is there a perfect ratio, I'm afraid not, but maybe there is. What would you consider?
One guaranteed way to have an "Advantage" during any exchange, whether it involves money or any other capital, is to simply make a rational decision. When we do that, every relationship is an "Advantage" for all participants.
One formula would be Advantages (of the relationship) minus Disadvantages. If the result is positive, than the "player" has a positive "advantage." If the result is negative, than you do not. Similar to the formula for finding an Advantage at Video Poker, I guess
Quote: MintyI believe relationships can be +EV. My girlfriend's finances and mine are mostly distinct, but we help each other.
I took a different approach. The Monday after we got engaged I put her name on all of my bank accounts. If I didn't trust her I wouldn't have got engaged; also if she turned out to be a golddigger I would find it out sooner rather than later.
So if you feel she or he is costing too much negating the happiness of having, the relationship is neg ev. So you're supposed to say, "sorry, I cannot afford this much" and she is supposed to say, "next". It might not always be this way, if you are rare yourself in some way desirable and she really wants that. Flip your pronouns yourself, I'm too tired.Quote: TomGOne guaranteed way to have an "Advantage" during any exchange, whether it involves money or any other capital, is to simply make a rational decision. When we do that, every relationship is an "Advantage" for all participants.
One formula would be Advantages (of the relationship) minus Disadvantages. If the result is positive, than the "player" has a positive "advantage." If the result is negative, than you do not. Similar to the formula for finding an Advantage at Video Poker, I guess
Quote: EvenBobSad but true. Best thing is to have
no expectations, don't marry for
love, be equal in wealth and earning,
and sign a pre-nup. Marrying for
love is the dumbest thing to do,
it's like going to work in a chocolate
factory because you love chocolate.
That will soon be killed and you'll
eventually hate the stuff.
I like these phrases as I found it true somewhere.
I think we have to be equal in the relationship as everybody are the same. One can give respect to his/her partner.
Quote: onenickelmiracleIf anyone would grab my phone, they could send the money and I wouldn't know it per se and the money would be gone. I left Amazon open, I use it, though things could be sent to a different address. What else am I vulnerable on?
if you or anyone else really loves all of this digital device crap that's out there you are vulnerable on every piece of data that you have entered into that device
you may be able to minimize your vulnerability but you can't eliminate it. the hackers are smarter or as smart as the manufacturers of this BS
want to talk to a bot and have it do simple tasks for you?
you are definitely at risk with all of that stuff - anybody who thinks they're not is kidding themselves
Quote: onenickelmiracle
Also can you AP a relationship or make it break even and fair? Is there a perfect formula to make sure you're not hurting yourself by being in a relationship? Is there a perfect ratio, I'm afraid not, but maybe there is. What would you consider?
I have no idea how this was figured out, but I've read that you're "supposed" to marry/settle down with like the 12th or 13th partner you have in life.
I forget the specifics of why that is; I think it has something to do with it taking that many people to naturally figure out what kind of person you want to spend the rest of your life with, and 12 or 13 is the sweet spot.
