Pet Peeves
Poll
 | 12 votes (9.91%) | ||
| | 35 votes (28.92%) | ||
| | 74 votes (61.15%) |
121 members have voted
Quote: tuttigymGratitude, from me or anyone else, is NEVER (emphasis) "trivial." For me, "no problem" is ignorant and/or rude. I guess for some it is hip or cool. Sometimes "old school" is always hip and cool.
tuttigym
SOMEONE: Texts Mission math question.
MISSION: Texts back answer to it that took fewer than five minutes.
SOMEONE: Thank you.
MISSION: No problem!
As in, it was trivial. In future situations, don’t feel the need to thank me for this. You’re causing my phone to make a noise that distracts me from what I am doing again, which is 100x worse than not thanking me.
Quote: Mission146“No problem,” is old school.
I hear that response from virtually everyone under the age of 30. They don't know "you're welcome." Apparently it isn't taught anymore. It goes along with "my bad" another pet peeve of mine, which is said instead of "I am sorry" or "I apologize." All of those "new" phrases are part of the "cancel culture" to eliminate humility and/or true remorse.
Quote: Mission146Even, “It’s all good, bruh,” is probably dated now.
I do not hear that at all. I guess that is suppose to be even more "cool" somehow.
tuttigym
Quote: Mission146As in, it was trivial. In future situations, don’t feel the need to thank me for this. You’re causing my phone to make a noise that distracts me from what I am doing again, which is 100x worse than not thanking me.
How about, you don't answer them at all then you will NEVER (emphasis) be "distracted" again, or maybe you should just dump the phone. Mission accomplished (no pun intended).
tuttigym
Quote: Mission146My fix:
Ex: “I don’t, but thank you (or thanks) for asking.”
Now there you go. that's real courtesy.
tuttigym
In our technicolor multiverse, it is a shame some folks insist on seeing things in black and white.
I'm afraid that you'll have to go elsewhere to talk to the arbiters of coolness. I should warn you that they speak a variant of English that you and I might not recognize anymore.
Anyway, perhaps you're right about, "No problem," coming from them. That said, I'd just be impressed they are saying something. I don't expect that very many people under the age of thirty experience actual feelings of gratitude for any reason, despite what they are given or what has been done for them. I hold doors open in exchange for total silence.
Again, my generation said, "My bad," and I am closer to forty than thirty.
I have no idea what, "Cancel culture," and remorse have to do with one another, but you should take that to DT and I will happily meet you there. We cannot discuss politics here.
Quote: tuttigymNow there you go. that's real courtesy.
tuttigym
I tend to be courteous. I'm almost unfailingly polite. I just don't expect anyone else to be or care if they are.
Quote: tuttigymHow about, you don't answer them at all then you will NEVER (emphasis) be "distracted" again, or maybe you should just dump the phone. Mission accomplished (no pun intended).
tuttigym
It would be rude not to answer them. Mostly, I just change my number from time to time and then give the new one to people as they ask for it. I figure that some of the people who only contact me when they want something won't even care enough to use an alternative means of contacting me when they realize my number no longer works.
Quote: billryanI use " you're welcome" when it is appropriate, and "no problem" when it's appropriate. Evidently, some folks don't understand the difference between the two. To which I'd respond " No problem".
In our technicolor multiverse, it is a shame some folks insist on seeing things in black and white.
I live with the "difference." It is a PET PEEVE.
tuttigym
Customer: I'd like to get this wrapped to go? You're welcome or No problem.
Client; I'd like to charge this on a different card? You're welcome or No problem.
There is a time you should be friendly and informal and a time you should be polite and formal.
Quote: billryanWhich is appropriate?
Customer: I'd like to get this wrapped to go? You're welcome or No problem.
Client; I'd like to charge this on a different card? You're welcome or No problem.
The customer should take it however it comes and say, "Thank you," when he gets it. The customer should not ask for anything unless confronted with the server asking the customer whether or not he wants it a certain way.
The server is probably going to ask if the customer wants it to go. This will happen 99.9%+ of the time, so the customer should wait for that to happen. It's rude of the customer to even say this to the employee without being prompted.
1.) Hello, how are you?
2.) I'm well, thank you.
3.) If you would, I would like (whatever it is), please?
4.) Thank you very much.
5.) You're welcome.
6.) And, otherwise, try to speak to the poor person working there as little as possible. They probably hate you and wish you had never walked into the place.
Quote: Mission146The customer should take it however it comes and say, "Thank you," when he gets it. The customer should not ask for anything unless confronted with the server asking the customer whether or not he wants it a certain way.
The server is probably going to ask if the customer wants it to go. This will happen 99.9%+ of the time, so the customer should wait for that to happen. It's rude of the customer to even say this to the employee without being prompted.
Most customers have an overinflated sense of self-worth. As if their waiter has nothing to do but cater to their needs.
Quote: billryanMost customers have an overinflated sense of self-worth. As if their waiter has nothing to do but cater to their needs.
Mission146's Rules of Politeness in Restaurants:
1.) NEVER summon the server. The server will come on his/her own sooner or later.
2.) Say, "Good afternoon," or, "How are you," as appropriate. Do not engage the server in conversation as to any unrelated matter beyond basic greeting.
3.) Order whatever you are getting with no unreasonable modifications. Leaving off certain condiments or toppings is fine, but do not ask for modifications beyond that.
4.) If you are brought the wrong beverage, shut your mouth and drink it anyway.
5.) If you are brought the wrong food, shut your mouth and eat it anyway.
6.) If the food is not to your liking, live with it. The server didn't cook it, so it should not be his/her problem.
7.) Thank the server and wish the server a good day.
8.) Barring horrific service, tip no less than 25%.
Quote: Mission146I wouldn't know what's cool or not cool. I'm well over thirty and an anti-social loser who could count the number of off-forum actual friends he has on one hand, but if you'd believe it, I'm happier that way. I do have a number of acquaintances who might contact me when they need help with this, that or the other thing.
You are less than half my age, and I truly appreciate your candor and courteous interaction with me. I know you are not an "anti-social loser." True friendships are rare whereas acquaintanceships are much more frequent.
Quote: Mission146I'm afraid that you'll have to go elsewhere to talk to the arbiters of coolness. I should warn you that they speak a variant of English that you and I might not recognize anymore.
You are probably correct, but if appropriate, I might want to learn the updated English lingo at which point I could pick and choose to expand my vocabulary.
Quote: Mission146I have no idea what, "Cancel culture," and remorse have to do with one another, but you should take that to DT and I will happily meet you there. We cannot discuss politics here.
I would suspect that our politics are similar. Is "DT" the Discussion Thread? If so, I will meet you there in the future sometime.
tuttigym
Quote: Mission146I tend to be courteous. I'm almost unfailingly polite. I just don't expect anyone else to be or care if they are.
That sentiment is a GREAT (emphasis) attitude.
tuttigym
Quote: tuttigymYou are less than half my age, and I truly appreciate your candor and courteous interaction with me. I know you are not an "anti-social loser." True friendships are rare whereas acquaintanceships are much more frequent.
It's a pleasure to exchange posts with you, as well. I assure you that I am definitely an anti-social loser. Any who are friends with me mostly make that choice to their own detriment; I'm pretty insufferable and also intellectually arrogant.
Quote:You are probably correct, but if appropriate, I might want to learn the updated English lingo at which point I could pick and choose to expand my vocabulary.
I would suspect that our politics are similar. Is "DT" the Discussion Thread? If so, I will meet you there in the future sometime.
tuttigym
DT = Diversitytomorrow.com which is a non-gambling discussion site owned by Wizard. For the most part, if not entirely, it's made up of people who also do/did post here. I'll look forward to seeing you there if you ever choose to visit.
Quote: billryanThere is a time you should be friendly and informal and a time you should be polite and formal.
For me, "polite and formal" is never wrong. I am pretty sure that those in my age bracket never heard the term "no problem" unless we were asked directly by someone making a request: "Is there a problem here?" "No sir, no problem at all."
tuttigym
Quote: Mission1466.) And, otherwise, try to speak to the poor person working there as little as possible. They probably hate you and wish you had never walked into the place.
I definitely laughed out loud.
tuttigym
Quote: tuttigymFor me, "polite and formal" is never wrong. I am pretty sure that those in my age bracket never heard the term "no problem" unless we were asked directly by someone making a request: "Is there a problem here?" "No sir, no problem at all."
tuttigym
There are hundreds of phrases our parents never heard or would not use that are common today. I'm sure there were phrases they used that their grandparents wouldn't have. Language and culture evolve. People can change with society or be left behind.
Spanish and the Romance languages actually have different conjugations that are used when speaking in the friendly voice or in the formal voice. English doesn't.
My Grandfather was a carpenter who left the house every day in a suit and changed into work clothes on the job. As a young boy, I remember my mother pleading with a church usher because he wouldn't let my sister into mass as she was wearing pants. Society is not nearly as formal as it was in your youth. Why shouldn't language change, as well.
People who are always polite and formal often have a stick up their butt and are the object of derision in many quarters.
Life is short. Too short to waste time on minor irritants.
Quote: Mission146Mission146's Rules of Politeness in Restaurants:
1.) NEVER summon the server. The server will come on his/her own sooner or later.
2.) Say, "Good afternoon," or, "How are you," as appropriate. Do not engage the server in conversation as to any unrelated matter beyond basic greeting.
3.) Order whatever you are getting with no unreasonable modifications. Leaving off certain condiments or toppings is fine, but do not ask for modifications beyond that.
4.) If you are brought the wrong beverage, shut your mouth and drink it anyway.
5.) If you are brought the wrong food, shut your mouth and eat it anyway.
6.) If the food is not to your liking, live with it. The server didn't cook it, so it should not be his/her problem.
7.) Thank the server and wish the server a good day.
8.) Barring horrific service, tip no less than 25%.
Every experience is different but I find that when a place is really busy, asking the server where they are from and complimenting them on their language skills is much appreciated.
Quote: billryanEvery experience is different but I find that when a place is really busy, asking the server where they are from and complimenting them on their language skills is much appreciated.
I don’t want to get political, but my tendency is to be concerned that expressing any interest in an individual’s culture, or any compliments pursuant thereto, may be construed as racism.
'Quote: Mission146I don’t want to get political, but my tendency is to be concerned that expressing any interest in an individual’s culture, or any compliments pursuant thereto, may be construed as racism.
Establish solidarity by addressing him as Amigo or compadre.
Quote: billryan'
Establish solidarity by addressing him as Amigo or compadre.
I like your sense of humor.
Quote: Mission146I like your sense of humor.
This is a case where a Thank you is far more appropriate than a No Problem.
You paid me a compliment and a Thank You is in order.
Quote: Mission146Mission146's Rules of Politeness in Restaurants:
1.) NEVER summon the server. The server will come on his/her own sooner or later.
Depends on the situation. If I'm at a table, you have a point. If I'm there to pick up an order, and nobody notices me in 15 minutes (as opposed to acknowledging me but saying, or at least implying, that they're busy), I say something.
Quote: Mission1464.) If you are brought the wrong beverage, shut your mouth and drink it anyway.
If it's not a diet soda, I pretty much can't "drink it anyway," so yes, I say something.
Quote: Mission1465.) If you are brought the wrong food, shut your mouth and eat it anyway.
6.) If the food is not to your liking, live with it. The server didn't cook it, so it should not be his/her problem.
It shouldn't be mine either.
If I order a steak medium and it's blood red, absolutely I tell the server to take it back and have the chef make it properly.
Quote: Mission1468.) Barring horrific service, tip no less than 25%.
My base number is 20. 25 is for good service. Keep in mind that a minimum tip is a de facto service charge.
Also note that 20% is for dine-in. If it's a tip jar by the cash register, it's a flat $1.
Delivery is $5 flat.
Pick up is usually 15%, unless it’s the lady at the local Chinese place; she’s a sweetheart, so I tip her 25% when I pick up.
Quote: Mission146I don’t want to get political, but my tendency is to be concerned that expressing any interest in an individual’s culture, or any compliments pursuant thereto, may be construed as racism.
Someone once called me that. I told them that I did know what that meant and could they define that for me? The look on their face was memorable, then they turned and walked away. Mission, after you described yourself above, I can't imagine you could give a pant load.
tuttigym
Quote: Mission146I like your sense of humor.
Me too.
tuttigym
Quote: billryanThis is a case where a Thank you is far more appropriate than a No Problem.
You paid me a compliment and a Thank You is in order.
How come there isn't a "NO PROBLEM" tab at the bottom of the post? Just askin.'
tuttigym
Quote: billryanNo problem!
Don’t worry about it!
Quote: Mission146Mission146's Rules of Politeness in Restaurants:
1.) NEVER summon the server. The server will come on his/her own sooner or later.
2.) Say, "Good afternoon," or, "How are you," as appropriate. Do not engage the server in conversation as to any unrelated matter beyond basic greeting.
3.) Order whatever you are getting with no unreasonable modifications. Leaving off certain condiments or toppings is fine, but do not ask for modifications beyond that.
4.) If you are brought the wrong beverage, shut your mouth and drink it anyway.
5.) If you are brought the wrong food, shut your mouth and eat it anyway.
6.) If the food is not to your liking, live with it. The server didn't cook it, so it should not be his/her problem.
7.) Thank the server and wish the server a good day.
8.) Barring horrific service, tip no less than 25%.
Can not agree with # 1. If I need water or a utensil or some other necessity not on he table, I will not allow my food to get cold. I will politely summon the server or a busboy.
I am diabetic. The wrong drink must be changed.
Businesses do not want anything negative to be said about them. They want and need to know that the service and food meets patrons reasonable expectations. If the food is wrong, politely send it back. Management does not want to catch the resulting flack.
tuttigym
Quote: Mission146Don’t worry about it!
OK. Thank you.
tuttigym
Quote: tuttigymCan not agree with # 1. If I need water or a utensil or some other necessity not on he table, I will not allow my food to get cold. I will politely summon the server or a busboy.
I am diabetic. The wrong drink must be changed.
Businesses do not want anything negative to be said about them. They want and need to know that the service and food meets patrons reasonable expectations. If the food is wrong, politely send it back. Management does not want to catch the resulting flack.
tuttigym
Fair point to the wrong drink. I’m not a diabetic.
I won’t ask for utensils until they come around on their own again. The nice thing about going to many restaurants repeatedly and tipping the way I do is they usually won’t get things wrong…not that I’d care if they did.
The thing is, I’m the least assertive person in the world as long as I’m not angry. It’s also very tough to cause me to become angry.
The last part depends on the business. I managed a hotel in the past and only cared about complaints to the franchisor because they could cost direct money. Otherwise, they could say anything they wanted. I’d usually read the negative reviews and laugh, or say, “I remember that one!”
Most of them are exaggerations, anyway. I can’t stand exaggerations unless someone is being intentionally hyperbolic to make a point. I will not respond to customers who exaggerate or otherwise take what they have to say seriously.
The Golden Rule: Treat others as you would wish to be treated. Off-Forum, that means I behave with politeness and otherwise try to leave people alone to the greatest extent possible.
tuttigym
The salad arrived, my niece took a bite from the salad and realized that it had nuts mixed in it. She told her companion, and got up and started walking towards the restaurant exit. She collapsed. The restaurant called 911 and she was evacuated to a hospital where she recovered.
It turns out that the waiter was new at this job and the restaurant owner says that this waiter was not adequately trained. We are currently asking that the restaurant pay her ambulance and medical bills (about $900). I think they are going to agree to this.
So, "Being polite" is not the only consideration when dealing with waiters. I also have dietary restrictions, and I am not going to eat a meal that I did not order. If I ordered unsweetened tea and have been given sweetened tea, I will politely ask that I be brought the right drink.
Quote: gordonm888I have a niece who is extremely allergic to nuts. Last week, before ordering a salad, she asked the waiter whether the salad had nuts; the waiter said no. My niece then said that she had a dangerous allergy to nuts and it was important that she not accidently eat them or she would get sick and might die. The waiter replied that the salad had no nuts in it.
The salad arrived, my niece took a bite from the salad and realized that it had nuts mixed in it. She told her companion, and got up and started walking towards the restaurant exit. She collapsed. The restaurant called 911 and she was evacuated to a hospital where she recovered.
It turns out that the waiter was new at this job and the restaurant owner says that this waiter was not adequately trained. We are currently asking that the restaurant pay her ambulance and medical bills (about $900). I think they are going to agree to this.
So, "Being polite" is not the only consideration when dealing with waiters. I also have dietary restrictions, and I am not going to eat a meal that I did not order. If I ordered unsweetened tea and have been given sweetened tea, I will politely ask that I be brought the right drink.
Wow, she could have died.
In my short stint as a card counter, I witnessed alot of bad service. This is one downside to card counting. Waitresses who never show up with a drink or seem upset if i dont order. I always tip being in the restaurant industry since i was 11. Its legal to work for own company at 11.
A pit boss got upset that i laid my chips on felt and said “i could never be a dealer.” Which normally, i believe they were dealers. How about working up to 120 hours a week as a do it all for a restaurant chain with no day off all year. My physics teacher spent 110 hours/week in a basement lab collecting data. A semi conductor engineer spent 100 hours a week in a lab
Quote: gordonm888I have a niece who is extremely allergic to nuts. Last week, before ordering a salad, she asked the waiter whether the salad had nuts; the waiter said no. My niece then said that she had a dangerous allergy to nuts and it was important that she not accidently eat them or she would get sick and might die. The waiter replied that the salad had no nuts in it.
The salad arrived, my niece took a bite from the salad and realized that it had nuts mixed in it. She told her companion, and got up and started walking towards the restaurant exit. She collapsed. The restaurant called 911 and she was evacuated to a hospital where she recovered.
It turns out that the waiter was new at this job and the restaurant owner says that this waiter was not adequately trained. We are currently asking that the restaurant pay her ambulance and medical bills (about $900). I think they are going to agree to this.
So, "Being polite" is not the only consideration when dealing with waiters. I also have dietary restrictions, and I am not going to eat a meal that I did not order. If I ordered unsweetened tea and have been given sweetened tea, I will politely ask that I be brought the right drink.
Yes. Okay. If that applies to you. It doesn’t apply to me.
I’m allergic to coconuts and will break out into a rash and have a little difficulty breathing, but nothing urgent. I would just stop eating the item and be basically fine, a little annoyed, but I wouldn’t complain.
The restaurant will do well to agree to that, because if you take that to court, they are screwed.
Quote: gordonm888I have a niece who is extremely allergic to nuts..
My first and really only thought is what kind of a parent who has a child that allergic to a food would let them eat in a restaurant. Would put their child's life in the hands of a stupid waiter or stupid cook. The parents should pay three times the medical bill as a punishment for child endangerment. If that was my kid they would never eat anything that I didn't prepare myself.
I don’t have any issue about telling a waiter to bring me the right meal. After all I’m paying for it. Not going to drag him over hot coals about it though.
As far as returning a wrong order, now the employees all have to work twice as hard. I hope you remember that when you tip.
Quote: EvenBobMy first and really only thought is what kind of a parent who has a child that allergic to a food would let them eat in a restaurant. Would put their child's life in the hands of a stupid waiter or stupid cook. The parents should pay three times the medical bill as a punishment for child endangerment. If that was my kid they would never eat anything that I didn't prepare myself.
I’ve seen the plates you’ve posted.
I guess that means, if I were your kid, I’d starve to death.
Quote: Mission146I’ve seen the plates you’ve posted.
I guess that means, if I were your kid, I’d starve to death.
I’d be fine. Bob and I may argue…. But never about his cooking. I’d have Bob as my personal chef any day.
But seriously, if you are that sensitive to nuts you can’t just trust a waiter with your life….
Quote: SOOPOOI’d be fine. Bob and I may argue…. But never about his cooking. I’d have Bob as my personal chef any day.
But seriously, if you are that sensitive to nuts you can’t just trust a waiter with your life….
I'd rather eat stuff that I have prepared myself blindfolded than what I have seen pictured in the posts on those plates.
I'll make a salmon that beats anything I've seen in those posts on muscle memory alone.
Quote: Mission146I'd rather eat stuff that I have prepared myself blindfolded than what I have seen pictured in the posts on those plates.
I'll make a salmon that beats anything I've seen in those posts on muscle memory alone.
I'm also not bragging. I'm maybe a slightly above average cook, at best. I guess one advantage to the posts I have seen is that, if one were bulimic, eating those plates would provide a serious advantage in making the purge much easier.
Quote: EvenBobMy first and really only thought is what kind of a parent who has a child that allergic to a food would let them eat in a restaurant. Would put their child's life in the hands of a stupid waiter or stupid cook. The parents should pay three times the medical bill as a punishment for child endangerment. If that was my kid they would never eat anything that I didn't prepare myself.
EvenBob, your comments about her parents are completely out-of-line.
My niece with the severe nut allergy is slightly over 30 years old and lives in a different city than her parents. She is an award-winning graphics designer who went to dinner with a friend. She follows her physician's instructions when eating in restaurants. She is allowed to eat in restaurants just like disabled people are allowed to use public bathrooms, the restaurant is supposed to provide information on the menu about nuts as an ingredient and did not do that and instead a waiter responded to two direct inquiries by misinforming her twice.
Please recalibrate your moral compass.
