2018 WoV Picks game (discussion thread)

Quote: gordonm888

Important to know whether Tom Brady's wife is on the rag.

That's easy. Menstrual cycles follow the lunar calendar.

Quote: Mission146

Greetings!

The Week 2 Lines, brought to you by:

http://www.vegasinsider.com/nfl/odds/las-vegas/

Are as follows:

Colts (+6) @ Redskins (-6) O/U 48
Panthers (+6) @ Falcons (-6) O/U 44.5
Chargers (-7.5) @ Bills (+7.5) O/U 43
Texans (-2) @ Titans (+2) O/U 44.5
Chiefs (+4.5) @ Steelers (-4.5) O/U 53
Dolphins (+3) @ Jets (-3) O/U 43.5
Eagles (-3) @ Buccaneers (+3) O/U 44
Browns (+9) @ Saints (-9) O/U 49
Cardinals (+13) @ Rams (-13) O/U 45
Lions (+6) @ 49ers (-6) O/U 48
Patriots (-1) @ Jaguars (+1) O/U 45.5
Raiders (+6) @ Broncos (-6) O/U 46
Giants (+3) @ Cowboys (-3) O/U 42.5
Seahawks (+3.5) @ Bears (-3.5) O/U 43

Noticeably absent is the Minnesota Vikings game @ Green Bay, so I will look for lines for that game tomorrow night if we get word on whether or not Rodgers will play. If there's not a line for that game by tomorrow night, then there won't be a line for that game in this game.

Sportsbet.ag is quoting the game at Min -5.5 per Vegas Insider. Everyone else still has the line off. Makes for an interesting jake opportunity if you think Rodgers will play. Should be a 6 point swing or so.

I picked mine by a very scientific method.
I numbered each game 1-14. My two sons each rolled a dice 2 times and I added them up and took the game that it landed on. Then I labeled home teams as heads and away teams as tails. They each flipped a quarter until they both landed on the same side and that was my pick.
After we picked the games I had them each pick a number between 1 and 10, added them up and assigned that number to a pick and made that my confidence pick.

I'm officially in! I just recently bought a $25 Amazon gift card! :D In fact, I have it in my purse right now! How do I use it to play so to speak?

Quote: Nathan

I'm officially in! I just recently bought a $25 Amazon gift card! :D In fact, I have it in my purse right now! How do I use it to play so to speak?

PM the code to babs.

Quote: Nathan

I'm officially in! I just recently bought a $25 Amazon gift card! :D In fact, I have it in my purse right now! How do I use it to play so to speak?

Nathan, you need to get the $25 to BeachbumBabs. You need to message her the code for an electronic Amazon gift card. Babs has never given you slack on anything, so you need to act quickly.

You also need to send your picks for week 2 to Mission before 10 am tomorrow.

Quote: GWAE

I picked mine by a very scientific method.
I numbered each game 1-14. My two sons each rolled a dice 2 times and I added them up and took the game that it landed on. Then I labeled home teams as heads and away teams as tails. They each flipped a quarter until they both landed on the same side and that was my pick.
After we picked the games I had them each pick a number between 1 and 10, added them up and assigned that number to a pick and made that my confidence pick.

I need a pet octopus to pick my games. Would make my life so much easier

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_the_Octopus

Quote: djatc

I need a pet octopus ...

See FACE he has one but beware of an octopus if you are a diabetic, they hunt prey using insulin.

I nearly missed this week's picks, never seeing the official posting.

Can anyone tell me the order in which the choices are presented? It doesn't seem alphabetical or anything.

I thought the order was the same or at least similar to how they are listed on the source link that M146 references.

Quote: FleaStiff

See FACE he has one but beware of an octopus if you are a diabetic, they hunt prey using insulin.

I nearly missed this week's picks, never seeing the official posting.

Can anyone tell me the order in which the choices are presented? It doesn't seem alphabetical or anything.

They are ordered from easiest to hardest to pick correctly.

Quote: FleaStiff

Can anyone tell me the order in which the choices are presented? It doesn't seem alphabetical or anything.

Each week, a three digit number is assigned to each team. This number is used at all of the various sports betting sites, and in the sportsbooks of Vegas. This number is used to help identify that team, probably simply for betting purposes. ($110 please, straight up, on #264.")

Each week, an odd number is assigned to the visiting team and the next numeric number in sequence, an even number of course, is assigned to the home team.

For example, this week the Colts are identified as #261 and their opponent, the Redskins, have been given #262. You can verify this at VegasInsider.com or Covers.com or 5 Dimes, etc., etc.

The order the choices presented here is, as JohnnyQ mentioned, simply the same as the source. And at that source (VegasInsider) they are listed numerically, from smallest three digit number to largest.

The Monday night game is always listed last... it always has the largest three digit number for each team. The Sunday night game the second largest numbers for the home and visitor. The morning games are always given numbers smaller than that of the later games.

Now, WHO decides exactly what these three digit numbers will be each week, and WHO decides which morning game will be first, which afternoon game will be first, I do not know. I suspect someone else here will be able to answer that.

Quote: gordonm888

Nathan, you need to get the $25 to BeachbumBabs. You need to message her the code for an electronic Amazon gift card. Babs has never given you slack on anything, so you need to act quickly.

You also need to send your picks for week 2 to Mission before 10 am tomorrow.

I don't appreciate this at all, gordon. I've been collecting escrow for 5 weeks . It's been clear from the first day that people had to prepay and when the deadlines are. You're the one making it personal, and I resent that you've done it to me for at least the 3rd time concerning Nathan.

Here we are, last possible day, almost last hour, and she does this.

Now if something doesn't work with the card or otherwise goes wrong, where does that leave me? Just stay out of things like this where I'm concerned, please.

Member	Escrow	Notes
Ayecarumba	$25
BeachBumBabs	$25
Bruce1	$25
djatc	$25
EdCollins	$25
fleastiff	$25
FourFiveFace	$25
GenWyzgy	$25
Gordonm888	$25
GWAE	$25
IndyJeffrey	$25
Joeman	$25
JohnnyQ	$25
JohnZimbo	$25
JW17	$25
kuma	$25
MaxPen	$25
MidwestAP	$25
Miplet	$25
Mission146	$25
Nathan	$25	late entry - week 1 bye
OdiousGambit	$25
OneNickelMiracle	$25
PlayYourCardsRight	$25
Prozema	$25
Rainman	$25
Rigondeaux	$25
RisingDough	$25
Romes	$25
scolist	$25	extra $25 in escrow - late entry, week 1 bye
SOOPOO	$25
Sparty10k	$25
Terapined	$25
TroopScott	$25	extra $25 escrow in reserve
unJon	$25
VCUSkyhawk	$25
Vegasrider	$25
Wizard	$25
Total 38	Total $950

This is current to today.
2 new players added, both paid. Both week 1 byes as late entries.

Thanks BBB for taking your time to handle the Escrow money. Much appreciated. Go Brownies, don't suck as much as usual !

Quote: JohnnyQ

Thanks BBB for taking your time to handle the Escrow money. Much appreciated. Go Brownies, don't suck as much as usual !

Yeah for real she's been very lenient about entry fees and when they have to get in by.

Quote: djatc

Yeah for real she's been very lenient about entry fees and when they have to get in by.

as of 10 AM it is a done deal no more entries. Be happy probably more dead money

I'm about to get the Picks up, but before I do, let's get this out of the way:

RULE 3 reads as follows:

Quote:

3.) Sunday/Monday games will be the only games considered. Every player must pick exactly five winners against the Spread, exactly five Over/Unders, or a combination totaling exactly five.

Rule 4 reads as follows:

Quote:

4.) Players may, "Skip," one week without making any picks, but they don't have to. If a player accidentally fails to submit picks, that will constitute the, "Skip," week.

For players who join the contest in Week 2, Week 1 will constitute the, "Skip," week.

Rule 5 reads as follows:

Quote:

5.) If a player fails to make picks for more than one week, he/she forfeits any right to a consolation prize, but may continue to play. Every week of missed picks other than the allotted, "Skip Week," will result in an 0-5 record for all weeks missed.

Nathan has failed to submit five winners ATS pursuant to Rule Three, five Over/Unders or any combination of five Picks pursuant to Rule Three. In fact, Nathan submitted only the, "Miami Dolphins," as a pick. Nathan's set of picks is invalid, therefore:

This error would normally invoke Rule Four, use of a Skip Week, except Nathan has already used her Skip Week, which brings us to Rule Five.

Due to Nathan's failure to produce a set of Picks that adheres to Rule Three and Nathan's inability to use a Skip Week, Nathan shall take a record of 0-5 for Week 2 of this contest and is hereby ineligible to win any consolation prizes.

Greetings!

The Week 2 Picks are as follows:

https://wizardofvegas.com/forum/gambling/sports/31481-official-wov-nfl-picks-game-2018-thread/#post673562

Nathan:

Invalid Picks (0-5)

Mission146:
Patriots -1
Patriots OVER 45.5
Saints -9
Browns UNDER 49
Raiders +6

onenickelmiracle:
Browns +9
Chiefs +4.5
Chiefs Over 53 confidence
Giants +3
Seahawks +3.5

SOOPOO:
Chargers -7.5 Confidence
Jets -3
Patriots -1
Browns +9
Panthers +6

Gordonm888:
Colts +6
Texans -2
Texans UNDER 44.5
Rams -13
Patriots -1

GenWyzgy:
Panthers +6
Panthers OVER 44.5
Chiefs +4.5
49ers -6
Cowboys UNDER 42.5

terapined:
Colts +6
Bucs +3
Cardinals +13
Browns +9
Bills +7.5

IndyJeffrey:
Texans -2
Steelers -4.5
Buccaneers +3
Lions +6
Seahawks +3.5-Confidence

Joeman:
Texans -2
Bears -3.5
Browns UNDER 49
Giants +3
Colts +6 -Confidence

JW17:
Broncos -6 confidence
Patriots -1
49ers -6
Cardinals +13
Browns +9

odiousgambit:
Bills +7.5
Titans +2
Raiders +6
Patriots -1
Cowboys -3

Romes:
Redskins -6
Falcons -6
Steelers -4.5 CONFIDENCE
Cowboys -3
49ers -6

RisingDough:
Panthers +6
Steelers -4.5
Saints -9 CONFIDENCE
Cowboys -3
Seahawks +3.5

Vegasrider:
Patriots UNDER 45.5-Confidence
Giants UNDER 42.5
Texans -2
Saints -9
Falcons -6

JohnZimbo:
Giants +3
Giants under 42.5
Rams -13
Chiefs +4.5
Bears -3.5

PlayYourCardsRight:
Colts +6
Falcons -6
Dolphins +3
49ers -6
Patriots -1 CONFIDENCE

fleastiff:
Browns +9
Browns OVER 49
Patriots OVER 45.5
Raiders OVER 46
Cowboys OVER 42.5

Wizard:
Texans (-2)
Steelers (-4.5)
Dolphins (+3) Confidence
Eagles (-3)
Giants (+3)

TroopScott:
Jets (-3) Confidence Pick
Eagles (-3)
New England (-1)
Raiders (+6)
Titans (+2)

BeachBumBabs:
Colts +6
Panthers +6
Browns +9 - confidence
Cardinals +13
Patriots -1

JohnnyQ:
Bills (+7.5)
Texans (-2)
Steelers (-4.5)
Browns (+9)
Cardinals (+13)

VCUSkyhawk:
Eagles -3-Confidence
Patriots -1
Cowboys -3
Cardinals +13
Redskins -6

Scolist:
Patriots -1
Eagles -3
Jets -3
Giants +3
Giants UNDER 42.5

GWAE:
Colts (+6)
Texans (-2)
Buccaneers (+3)
Browns (+9) CONFIDENCE
Bears (-3.5)

Bruce1:
Panthers @ Falcons OVER 44.5
Texans (-2)
Steelers (-4.5)
Patriots (-1)
Giants @ Cowboys OVER 42.5

Prozema:
Steelers -4.5
Dolphins +3
Saints -9
Texans -2
Texans Under 44.5

Sparty10k:
Chargers -7.5
Texans -2
49ers -6 confidence
Giants +3
Seahawks +3.5

EdCollins:
Cardinals +13
Jaguars +1
Broncos -6
Cowboys -3
Seahawks +3.5

kuma:
Texans -2
Texans UNDER 44.5
Steelers -4.5
Dolphins +3 -- Confidence
Cowboys -3

Unjon:
Texans -2-Confidence
Chargers -7.5
Steelers UNDER 53
Eagles -3
Giants UNDER 42.5

Ayecarumba:
Texans -2
Jets -3
Eagles -3 -Confidence
Saints -9
Broncos -6

MaxPen:
Titans +2 - Confidence
Patriots o45.5
Raiders +6
Bucs u44
Jets -3

rainman:
Bills +7.5
Cowboys Under 42.5 Conf.
Eagles -3
Patriots -1
Cardinals +13

DJATC:
Texans -2
Texans UNDER 44.5 -CONFIDENCE
Dolphins UNDER 43.5
Eagles OVER 44
Patriots UNDER 45.5

miplet:
Bills +7.5
Texans -2-confidence
Steelers -4.5
Saints -9
Broncos -6

MidwestAP:
Panthers +6
Browns +9
Cardinals +13
Lions+6
Raiders +6

FourFiveFace:
Colts +6
Panthers +6-Confidence
Bills +7.5
Saints -9
Cardinals +13

Rigondeaux:
Dolphins +3
Browns +9
Colts +6
Bills +7.5
Bears -3.5

Quote: Mission146

I'm about to get the Picks up, but before I do, let's get this out of the way:

RULE 3 reads as follows:



Rule 4 reads as follows:



Rule 5 reads as follows:



Nathan has failed to submit five winners ATS pursuant to Rule Three, five Over/Unders or any combination of five Picks pursuant to Rule Three. In fact, Nathan submitted only the, "Miami Dolphins," as a pick. Nathan's set of picks is invalid, therefore:

This error would normally invoke Rule Four, use of a Skip Week, except Nathan has already used her Skip Week, which brings us to Rule Five.

Due to Nathan's failure to produce a set of Picks that adheres to Rule Three and Nathan's inability to use a Skip Week, Nathan shall take a record of 0-5 for Week 2 of this contest and is hereby ineligible to win any consolation prizes.

I think her one pick of Miami Dolphins should count and the rest be 0-4

Quote: troopscott

I think her one pick of Miami Dolphins should count and the rest be 0-4

I somewhat agree, but the rules do clearly state that it must be EXACTLY 5 picks.

Quote: VCUSkyhawk

I somewhat agree, but the rules do clearly state that it must be EXACTLY 5 picks.

That's correct, EXACTLY five picks, or it is a flawed set of lines.

This was a controversial issue in Week 1 one or two years ago when JoelDeze submitted only four Picks thinking that the Confidence Pick also doubled as a selection thereby resulting in five selections.

Anyway, I let his Picks stand and that decision was controversial. I believe that one player refused to play in any future years as a result of that decision.

Also, if we don't construe it as a flawed set of Picks, then Nathan would be in line for Consolation Prizes and a week guaranteed to be 1-4, 0-5 or 0-4 (depending on the Line) offers a massive advantage in the, "You Suck," consolation prize.

I will offer the following compromise:

If Miami loses ATS, we will say that Nathan's pick counts, giving Nathan a record for the Week of 0-5. If Miami does not lose ATS, then the Miami pick does not count. (This is a joke, btw, the record is 0-5 with two Skip Weeks used)

Mission, makes sense. Rules are rules when it comes to games like this. Sorry, Nathan. You have to pick five teams and/or over/unders

Nathan can still play and win. If she submits 5 picks every week properly starting next week, and has the worst winning percentage, I will give her a $10 Macy's gift card. Further rules to follow.

Quote: onenickelmiracle

Nathan can still play and win. If she submits 5 picks every week properly starting next week, and has the worst winning percentage, I will give her a $10 Macy's gift card. Further rules to follow.

I assume you mean the worst record after removing the 0-5 record for this week?

Quote: Mission146

I assume you mean the worst record after removing the 0-5 record for this week?

Yes.

onenickelmiracle:
Browns +9 probable lock
Chiefs +4.5 probable lock
Chiefs Over 53 confidence lock
Giants +3
Seahawks +3.5

I hate the Browns.

You know, I've written three or four other articles related to the NFL betting (mostly for LSB) and I have yet to be wrong about anything. I went on and on about how there wasn't much of a difference between Carson Wentz and Super Bowl MVP Nick Foles, and I was right about that.

The Browns are going to embarrass and humiliate me and I will have no credibility to discuss the NFL ever again. Wonderful. They're going to be 2-0 ATS after this game.

A ton of picks for the TEXANS -2 ( 15 entries and 2 are confidence ) this week. They are down by 7 at the half.

delete

Quote: JohnnyQ

A ton of picks for the TEXANS -2 ( 15 entries and 2 are confidence ) this week. They are down by 7 at the half.

I propose two reasons:

1.) Because Houston had an impressive performance in a losing effort to NE last week.

AND:

2.) Because Blaine Gabbert is a mistake. For the last eight terrible years, Blaine Gabbert has existed in the NFL as the standard bearer for the bottom of the barrel.

For the first two years of his career, Gabbert was an example of the worst that a QB could be, provided he was on an awful team, without being at any real risk of losing his starting job to anything other than injury. During this time, he was bad, but not offensively so, in every possible way. He completed an awful, but not abysmal, 53.835% of his passes while posting up 21 TD's against 17 Picks. He had a putrid 5.61 YPA, and it should also be mentioned that many of these stats were, "Padded," in garbage time as his teams would go 5-19 with him at the helm.

After that part of his career had come to a merciful end, Gabbert would spend the next several years (into today) as the worst that a backup quarterback who theoretically competes for starting jobs could be. It's an interesting position to be in because it results in one's name being thrown around in barroom conversations as a theoretical alternative to the current starter, even if that current starter is not injured.

He also started eight games for the 49ers in 2015 as well as five games in 2016...a job that could theoretically have belonged to, ah...let's just say, "Someone else," and move on.

Anyway, his completion percentage has improved to 55.8% since he was Jacksonville's starter all those years ago. Unfortunately, his TD to INT ratio is a perfect 1:1 (44 of each) going into today's game. He has a worse QB Rating than does Tim Tebow, and that is largely due to the fact that almost twice as many of his passes are interceptions as compared to Tebow.

May the Good Lord bless Blaine Gabbert with four more years of sub-mediocrity that are just slightly better than outright dreadfulness. Because somewhere in Tennessee or Texas there is a ten-year old boy coming off of a bad start in Youth League and ready to give up football, but then he sees Blaine Gabbert trot out onto the field today and says, "Wait. It was just one bad game, and if this asshole can be in the NFL this long, of course I have a chance."

Thank you Blaine Gabbert. Thank you.

Quote: Mission146

I propose two reasons:

1.) Because Houston had an impressive performance in a losing effort to NE last week.

AND:

2.) Because Blaine Gabbert is a mistake. For the last eight terrible years, Blaine Gabbert has existed in the NFL as the standard bearer for the bottom of the barrel.

Or a point and a half move around the 3 . . .

Quote: unJon

Mission, makes sense. Rules are rules when it comes to games like this. Sorry, Nathan. You have to pick five teams and/or over/unders

I would have assumed the rule would have been so I didn't pick 6 teams and say well those are the 5 I wanted after the fact. Picking less has no bearing on results because the rest are losses

Don't I get a first time newbie grace period free get out of jail card? I thought you could pick only one team so I went only with my hometown football team, the miami dolphins. I made a mistake. I guess i will pick

Dolphins
Panthers
Cowboys
Bills
Patriots

:)

Texans 18 units
Browns 12 units
Patriots 12 units
Eagles 10 units
Chiefs 10 units
Cardinals 9 units
Colts 9 units

Least picked: Jaguars (1 unit), Rams (2 units) and Redskins (2 units)

Also: Texans UNDER 5 units; Giants UNDER 6 units; Patriots UNDER 4 units!

I picked Texans to win and Texans UNDER because:

TItans QB was injured and unlikely to play
Titans have 3 starting offensive linemen injured and out
Titans star tight end was injured last game and is out for season.

So what happens? Titans threw a pass on a fake punt for 7 points, and then line up RB Derrick Henry at QB and have him run up the middle for an entire series and score another 7. Go figure.

Quote: unJon

Or a point and a half move around the 3 . . .

I really just wanted to talk smack on Blaine Gabbert. There are very few NFL QB's whose very existence irks me more than Gabbert's. In fact, the only one I can think of at the moment is Sam Bradford. It's not that Bradford is that bad, it's just that he's nowhere near good enough for me to have to put up with hearing people talk about him as much as they do.

He's an inoffensive check down dump off game management specialist who does a good job protecting the football and not making too many huge blunders. Nothing more or less. There is absolutely zero special about him. But, every single year, "Where do you think Sam Bradford will end up? Do you think Bradford will get in as starter this season? They say Bradford is looking good in practice."

Who TF cares? He's a mediocre NFL QB who, despite any protestations to the contrary, has occasionally hit his ceiling when Variance allows him to seriously limit his interceptions and have a good TD:INT ratio. He's only ever averaged 2 TD/Game during one season in his entire career whilst only playing seven games that season. Had he played all sixteen, he'd have probably come back down to Earth and, if he was really lucky, might have thrown between 24-28 TD's for the year.

If he goes into a game as the starter and has the following line:

16/25, 164 Yards, 1 TD, 0 INT

It will be the most quintessential Sam Bradford game possible and he will have no choice but to retire immediately. The Cardinals would also lose that game by a score of 31-17.

Quote: troopscott

I would have assumed the rule would have been so I didn't pick 6 teams and say well those are the 5 I wanted after the fact. Picking less has no bearing on results because the rest are losses

There's a prize for worst record.

Anyway, no exceptions. Trust me, I've ran this game and tried exceptions for years and every time someone takes issue with me doing exceptions and leniency. There will be no leniency for any reason.

Quote: Nathan

Don't I get a first time newbie grace period free get out of jail card? I thought you could pick only one team so I went only with my hometown football team, the miami dolphins. I made a mistake. I guess i will pick

Dolphins
Panthers
Cowboys
Bills
Patriots

:)

You're 0-5 this week. Try reading the rules before playing games. Did you not play board games as a kid? Do you think you can just open up LIFE and know all of the rules?

Here's a link to the Rules for your convenience:

https://wizardofvegas.com/forum/gambling/sports/31481-official-wov-nfl-picks-game-2018-thread/#post671817

I suggest you read them.

Quote: Mission146

I hate the Browns.

You know, I've written three or four other articles related to the NFL betting (mostly for LSB) and I have yet to be wrong about anything. I went on and on about how there wasn't much of a difference between Carson Wentz and Super Bowl MVP Nick Foles, and I was right about that.

The Browns are going to embarrass and humiliate me and I will have no credibility to discuss the NFL ever again. Wonderful. They're going to be 2-0 ATS after this game.

FWIW, I think your thesis could be sound but you were fighting the last war. Turns out the Browns are an improved team this year. And the Bills are the new Browns. And if your thesis is sound, Vegas won’t adjust enough to the Bills this year.

Quote: unJon

FWIW, I think your thesis could be sound but you were fighting the last war. Turns out the Browns are an improved team this year. And the Bills are the new Browns. And if your thesis is sound, Vegas won’t adjust enough to the Bills this year.

Thank you for that, it's honestly much appreciated. I don't know how much better the Browns are, but their defense is certainly showing a little something today. I wasn't impressed with them last week, how you win the turnover battle 6-1, receive over 100 yards in penalties (especially at crucial moments) AND get awarded a game changing possession because some idiot referee is both blind AND doesn't understand how the laws of physics work...AND TIE...is beyond me.

The Bills might prove a good testing ground for my thesis and we'll see if the public adjusts. I say the public, not Vegas, because Vegas (I think) factors in not only what they think will happen into the lines but also any public biases that they think might exist. If they could just set a line and get balanced action on both sides without ever moving it, they'd be thrilled, even if the line did not reflect what they think is going to happen in the game.

But, anyway, I do appreciate what you said very much. It makes me feel somewhat better that it wasn't an objectively terrible article.

Quote: Mission146

I hate the Browns.

You know, I've written three or four other articles related to the NFL betting (mostly for LSB) and I have yet to be wrong about anything. I went on and on about how there wasn't much of a difference between Carson Wentz and Super Bowl MVP Nick Foles, and I was right about that.

The Browns are going to embarrass and humiliate me and I will have no credibility to discuss the NFL ever again. Wonderful. They're going to be 2-0 ATS after this game.

Variance

Quote: onenickelmiracle

onenickelmiracle:
Browns +9 lock
Chiefs +4.5 lock
Chiefs Over 53 confidence lock
Giants +3
Seahawks +3.5

I'm so lucky good, I'm going to have to work for cbssports.com

I can't believe NO left Cleveland with that timeout.

EDIT: Gonzalez missed, thank God. At least Cleveland lost.

I hate Week 2. Always the hardest to pick. GWAE's dartboard approach is probably as good as any.

I finally lost a bet, RIP the dream. Please keep me in your thoughts for this blasphemy

Mission's Midday vitriol Takes:

(Fifty, or Fewer, Words Per Game)

Ravens 23 @ Bengals 34: Do you think they put metal detectors outside of each team's locker room for this one? One of these teams probably makes the playoffs and loses by way of penalty. Flacco sucks.

Dolphins 20 @ Jets 12: That will shut the Jets fans up, at least. This is what Darnold will normally look like.

Eagles 21 @ Buccaneers 27: DIE EAGLES DIE!!! (Pats Fan) Also, I know bad defenses, but who replaced Ryan Fitzpatrick with an NFL QB?

Browns 18 @ Saints 21: At least the Browns lost. Bless 'Em! New Orleans deserved to lose for leaving the Browns a timeout and a little bit of clock, glad they didn't though.

Colts 21 @ Redskins 9: The Hell just happened?

Chargers 31 @ Bills 20: I wish there'd been a way for both teams to lose. They both deserve to be 0-16 this year. Philip Rivers will not ever win a Super Bowl and is still not Dan Marino. F Dean Spanos.

Vikings 29 @ Packers 29: No winner yet. Don't care who wins. No problem with either team. This matchup will matter the most when it takes place in the playoffs.

Panthers 24 @ Falcons 31: The Falcons had a huge lead at one point, surprised they won. They usually don't perform well when they have huge leads.

Texans 17 @ Titans 20: Gabbert did what he was supposed to during the last drive of this game, which is, "As little as possible." As a result, the Titans won. DeShaun Watson is overrated.

Chiefs 42 @ Steelers 37: I don't know which of these teams I hate more. I guess the Steelers. It seems that some 70% of the games that upset me involve the Steelers losing...despite the fact that I hate them. It's really weird. Let's hear all about Mahomes for another week.

Quote: Mission146

Mission's Midday vitriol Takes:

tell us how you really feel lol

Aaarrgghh. Rough week for me, 1-3 so far with one tbd.

I am so bad.

I think we WOV NFL Picks contestants are going to be way under 0.500 for Week 2. It might get historically ugly if the Cardinals don't cover (and they won't) and the Patriots don't cover.

Round 2 of Mission's Snap Vitriol Takes:

Each Game in 50 Words or Less:

Cardinals 0 @ Rams 34: Welcome to Sam Bradford's floor, folks. I talked about his ceiling earlier. He wasn't THAT friggin' good in Minnesota. QB Rating that benefited from not turning the ball over. He still only threw 1.35 TD/Game in Minnesota. You'll never lose BECAUSE of Bradford, or win.

Lions 27 @ 49ers 30: Seeing Detroit lose is always satisfying, but I do feel bad for wasted talent Matthew Stafford. 49ers fans got what they were expecting from Jimmy G. Not in Week 1, so here's to hoping kickoff week was just a hiccup. 49ers may get into WC if 4-2 in Division.

Raiders 19 @ Broncos 20: Carr went 29/32 for 289 Yards, 1 TD and No Picks. They lost and only put up nineteen in the most Jon Gruden way to lose a football game possible. I hope he hasn't cashed any of his checks yet.

Patriots 20 @ Jaguars 31: This happens a few times a year and never against who you think it'll be. Being a Pats fan is an exercise in apathy. A Super Bowl victory results in quiet satisfaction whereas any loss results in irritation. We've all become Bill Belichick. I miss the Bledsoe years.