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EvenBob
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October 29th, 2023 at 2:28:48 PM permalink
I give this thread two more days tops before it's closed. That's probably generous.
"It's not called gambling if the math is on your side."
Gialmere
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October 29th, 2023 at 3:15:01 PM permalink
Quote: Dieter

I'm glad you guys are so keen,
but these are starting to get obscene.
A few have earned bans,
in spite of their plans...
So keep it PG-13.
link to original post


Quote: EvenBob

I give this thread two more days tops before it's closed. That's probably generous.
link to original post


Yes, the poor mods. On top of having to referee all the pissing contests here, they're now stuck sifting through bawdy humor in the form of bad poetry.
----------------------

My gambling fills her with dread.
She thinks I should quit while ahead.
I promised to stay,
Far from Vegas today.
So I drove down to Laughlin instead.
Have you tried 22 tonight? I said 22.
MrV
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October 29th, 2023 at 3:18:35 PM permalink
Quote: Gialmere

Yes, the poor mods. On top of having to referee all the pissing contests here, they're now stuck sifting through bawdy humor in the form of bad poetry.-



A recluse spent his life online

Bad with people but words were just fine;

He'd never agree

With you or with me

You say "tangent," he says "cosine.'
"What, me worry?"
billryan
billryan
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October 29th, 2023 at 3:36:14 PM permalink
There was a young man from Nantucket
who performed in drag so he'd tuck it.
Some people objected
He said to forget it
and go stick your head in a bucket.
The difference between fiction and reality is that fiction is supposed to make sense.
EvenBob
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October 29th, 2023 at 4:24:03 PM permalink
There's a famous time travel limerick from a long time ago and the last line is, "And she returned the previous day." But I can't remember the rest of it.
"It's not called gambling if the math is on your side."
billryan
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October 29th, 2023 at 4:25:24 PM permalink
A member who says he's a heel
claims his method of winning is real
He gambles small-time
though he wins all the time
and says that the maths no big deal
The difference between fiction and reality is that fiction is supposed to make sense.
Dieter
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October 29th, 2023 at 4:27:09 PM permalink
Quote: EvenBob

There's a famous time travel limerick from a long time ago and the last line is, "And she returned the previous day." But I can't remember the rest of it.
link to original post



There was a young lady named Bright
Whose speed was far faster than light
She set out one day
in a relative way
And returned on the previous night.

(No beer. I had to look it up.)
May the cards fall in your favor.
billryan
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gordonm888Gialmereodiousgambit
October 29th, 2023 at 4:46:51 PM permalink
A limerick is best when it's topical
and it helps if it is anatomical
While not quite obscene
if you make it too clean
A limerick just isn't comical.
The difference between fiction and reality is that fiction is supposed to make sense.
billryan
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October 29th, 2023 at 4:52:50 PM permalink
In the eighteenth century, there was a popular Irish folk song called Coming Home to Limerick. A bawdy version of the song suggested British soldiers should perform an unnatural sex act. The Limerick as poetry is actually an English invention.
The difference between fiction and reality is that fiction is supposed to make sense.
EvenBob
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October 29th, 2023 at 5:12:11 PM permalink
Quote: Dieter

Quote: EvenBob

There's a famous time travel limerick from a long time ago and the last line is, "And she returned the previous day." But I can't remember the rest of it.
link to original post



There was a young lady named Bright
Whose speed was far faster than light
She set out one day
in a relative way
And returned on the previous night.

(No beer. I had to look it up.)
link to original post



Yep, that was it. It's from the early 20th century it refers to Einstein's theory of relativity
"It's not called gambling if the math is on your side."
billryan
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October 29th, 2023 at 6:10:37 PM permalink
The new dancer was quite a pip
She'd peel off her clothes in a zip
But she read science fiction
and died of constriction
attempting a Moebius Strip
The difference between fiction and reality is that fiction is supposed to make sense.
lilredrooster
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October 30th, 2023 at 1:51:58 AM permalink
.
I once new a girl named Irene
Best knockers I ever have seen.
Stuck my hand up her dress
But I have to confess
It really was only a dream.
.
Last edited by: lilredrooster on Oct 30, 2023
Please don't feed the trolls
Gialmere
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October 30th, 2023 at 7:41:33 AM permalink
Quote: billryan

A limerick is best when it's topical
and it helps if it is anatomical
While not quite obscene
if you make it too clean
A limerick just isn't comical.
link to original post


Very true. My favorite limerick is SO raunchy...

(How raunchy is it?)

I'd be thrown in WoV jail before I even finished typing the second line.
Have you tried 22 tonight? I said 22.
lilredrooster
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gordonm888DRichWizard
October 30th, 2023 at 9:34:52 AM permalink
.
There is this man named Wiz
How to bet smart is his Biz.
Taught us how to make bucks
Without relying on luck.
A hero to gamblers he is.
.
Please don't feed the trolls
MrV
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October 30th, 2023 at 10:25:40 AM permalink
Quote: Gialmere

Very true. My favorite limerick is SO raunchy...(How raunchy is it?) I'd be thrown in WoV jail before I even finished typing the second line.



A limerick should be obscene
Acerbic, biting, and keen;
No punch should be spared
And teeth should be bared
Smash convention with a ball peen
Last edited by: MrV on Oct 30, 2023
"What, me worry?"
tuttigym
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October 30th, 2023 at 10:41:08 AM permalink
Mdawg, a whale, posts Look at me!
I play baccarat to the nth degree.
Ostentatious wrist candy
that makes me a dandy.
Don't worry my wins are tax free.

tuttigym
billryan
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Wizard
October 30th, 2023 at 11:48:55 AM permalink
There are many paths to seek the divine
The road to salvation is not a straight line
Some, you'll recall,
worship no god at all
and the foolish insist there is no god but mine
The difference between fiction and reality is that fiction is supposed to make sense.
tuttigym
tuttigym
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October 30th, 2023 at 2:19:51 PM permalink
He is lying in wait on his isle.
A roulette "method" and a file.
No need to block it
It's more fun to knock it.
Axel and Tiger believe it's a pile.

tuttigym
EvenBob
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October 30th, 2023 at 2:41:22 PM permalink
Screw this thread
To me it's dead
To kill it I'm sure
Would be the Cure
So I'll block it three times instead

Goodbye
"It's not called gambling if the math is on your side."
Gialmere
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October 30th, 2023 at 4:24:17 PM permalink


The Slotlady forced me to choose,
Watch her winning or see Victor lose.
I decided the case,
By the prettier face.
Now the old vids are all I peruse.
Have you tried 22 tonight? I said 22.
Wizard
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October 30th, 2023 at 8:02:30 PM permalink
Quote: lilredrooster

.
There is this man named Wiz
How to bet smart is his Biz.
Taught us how to make bucks
Without relying on luck.
A hero to gamblers he is.
.
link to original post



Thank you! That was great! May I quote you?
"For with much wisdom comes much sorrow." -- Ecclesiastes 1:18 (NIV)
Wizard
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October 30th, 2023 at 8:04:23 PM permalink
Quote: billryan

There are many paths to seek the divine
The road to salvation is not a straight line
Some, you'll recall,
worship no god at all
and the foolish insist there is no god but mine
link to original post



That's quite good. Did you write it? It sums up my philosophy on religion/faith pretty well.
"For with much wisdom comes much sorrow." -- Ecclesiastes 1:18 (NIV)
Dieter
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SOOPOO
October 30th, 2023 at 8:13:22 PM permalink
Quote: EvenBob

I give this thread two more days tops before it's closed. That's probably generous.
link to original post



Although you may think it a blunder,
this thread keeps on rolling like thunder.
Some verses are rude,
or a little too lewd,
But so glad I didn't take the under.
May the cards fall in your favor.
lilredrooster
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Wizard
October 31st, 2023 at 1:31:39 AM permalink
Quote: Wizard

Quote: lilredrooster

.
There is this man named Wiz
How to bet smart is his Biz.
Taught us how to make bucks
Without relying on luck.
A hero to gamblers he is.
.
link to original post



Thank you! That was great! May I quote you?
link to original post


sure

thank you for all the years of great info

.
Please don't feed the trolls
lilredrooster
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October 31st, 2023 at 1:39:45 AM permalink
.

There is a Mod here named Dieter.
He's not an angry rioter.
He is very mellow
You won't hear him bellow.
He just wishes the world was much quieter.

.
Please don't feed the trolls
lilredrooster
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October 31st, 2023 at 1:45:42 AM permalink
.
𝘪𝘵'𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘩𝘺𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘴 𝘪𝘵 𝘧𝘶𝘯𝘯𝘺 - 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘩𝘺𝘮𝘦 𝘪𝘵'𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨

.
I like girls from the cities
Many have great big titties.
They do strut their stuff
Sway their tight jiggly butts.
They pay me no mind it's a pity.

.
Last edited by: lilredrooster on Oct 31, 2023
Please don't feed the trolls
JimRockford
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gordonm888Wizard
October 31st, 2023 at 2:41:11 AM permalink
He thought it was smart when he chose
To suck up to the Wiz with his prose
But two lines didn’t quite rhyme
He does that time after time
But Mike kinda liked it so who knows
"Truth is ever to be found in the simplicity, and not in the multiplicity and confusion of things." -- Isaac Newton
lilredrooster
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October 31st, 2023 at 2:55:48 AM permalink
.
I knew not well this Nancy
Her panties were especially fancy.
I said, "You aim to Please"
She said, "No, I just Tease"
So I walked home alone feeling antsy.
.
Last edited by: lilredrooster on Oct 31, 2023
Please don't feed the trolls
Dieter
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Dieter
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October 31st, 2023 at 6:05:18 AM permalink
Quote: lilredrooster

.

There is a Mod here named Dieter.
He's not an angry rioter.
He is very mellow
You won't hear him bellow.
He just wishes the world was much quieter.

.
link to original post




These would rhyme:
Peter. Eater. Heater. Beater. Sweeter. Teeter.
These almost rhyme:
Creature. Feature. Theater.

Just some mild grousing, not a full on bellow.
Enjoy the day! ;)
May the cards fall in your favor.
gordonm888
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lilredrooster
October 31st, 2023 at 6:37:56 AM permalink
"Heaven can be thine" I've heard priests drone
"For jingly coin, and coin alone."
But when its time, at that final bell,
I'll stride down the scarlet throat of Hell
And dice for the Devil's throne.
So many better men, a few of them friends, are dead. And a thousand thousand slimy things live on, and so do I.
lilredrooster
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October 31st, 2023 at 9:14:05 AM permalink
deleted
Last edited by: lilredrooster on Oct 31, 2023
Please don't feed the trolls
billryan
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October 31st, 2023 at 9:48:00 AM permalink
I met a young lady named Alice
while dropping some books off in Dallas
She had a great smile
and I lasted awhile
when she sat on my face and my phallus
The difference between fiction and reality is that fiction is supposed to make sense.
gordonm888
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October 31st, 2023 at 10:45:15 AM permalink
Quote: lilredrooster

.
gordon's the bad ass Mod right here
Yes, he is the one you really should fear.
Post something bad - he will ban you real quick
He won't even care - even if you were sick.
And he will catch you - if you try to be slick
He carries no carrot - he carries a stick.___________________________________________(-:\
link to original post



Well. its valuable to hear your perspectives, though I admit to a certain measure of surprise.

The only time you were suspended this year was by Wizard. A second time, when you violated a rule, you and I had a discussion (which I'm not allowed to describe) and the result was that you were not suspended for your violation. But whatever, if you believe I eat young children for breakfast and that I'm a bad-ass Mod with a small carrot - I'll take that on board and internalize it. I am interested in continuous self-improvement. And after all, this was only a limerick (though it sounded more like a rap song.)
So many better men, a few of them friends, are dead. And a thousand thousand slimy things live on, and so do I.
lilredrooster
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October 31st, 2023 at 10:52:53 AM permalink
Quote: gordonm888


Well. its valuable to hear your perspectives, though I admit to a certain measure of surprise.

The only time you were suspended this year was by Wizard. A second time, when you violated a rule, you and I had a discussion (which I'm not allowed to describe) and the result was that you were not suspended for your violation. But whatever, if you believe I eat young children for breakfast and that I'm a bad-ass Mod with a small carrot - I'll take that on board and internalize it. I am interested in continuous self-improvement. And after all, this was only a limerick (though it sounded more like a rap song.)
link to original post


I wasn't referring to myself
and I only meant it humorously
I didn't think you would take offense - but it looks like you did - so I was wrong
I apologize if I offended you
I wasn't suggesting you need self-improvement

this is now the 2nd time I've felt the need to apologize in a few days - I think maybe I'm the one who needs self-improvement

if you recall a while back I complimented the Mods on what they do here and said that I appreciated it

please delete it - I can only delete my OP - I can't delete your quoting of it

.
Please don't feed the trolls
gordonm888
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gordonm888
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October 31st, 2023 at 11:13:07 AM permalink
Quote: lilredrooster

Quote: gordonm888


Well. its valuable to hear your perspectives, though I admit to a certain measure of surprise.

The only time you were suspended this year was by Wizard. A second time, when you violated a rule, you and I had a discussion (which I'm not allowed to describe) and the result was that you were not suspended for your violation. But whatever, if you believe I eat young children for breakfast and that I'm a bad-ass Mod with a small carrot - I'll take that on board and internalize it. I am interested in continuous self-improvement. And after all, this was only a limerick (though it sounded more like a rap song.)
link to original post


I wasn't referring to myself
and I only meant it humorously
I didn't think you would take offense - but it looks like you did - so I was wrong
I apologize if I offended you
I wasn't suggesting you need self-improvement

this is now the 2nd time I've felt the need to apologize in a few days - I think maybe I'm the one who needs self-improvement

if you recall a while back I complimented the Mods on what they do here and said that I appreciated it

please delete it - I can only delete my OP - I can't delete your quoting of it
link to original post



Oh, its okay, I more than half-way understood that, hence my comment about being a "bad-ass Mod with a small carrot," LOL. But when people kid you about being "fat and ugly" you may know it's in fun, but you kinda check yourself out the next time you pass by a mirror -just to be sure. I guess I over-reacted; I'll try to do better next time.
So many better men, a few of them friends, are dead. And a thousand thousand slimy things live on, and so do I.
billryan
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October 31st, 2023 at 11:23:00 AM permalink
Let's all try to keep this fun. If you are going to participate, be prepared to take a shot.

There are three types of limericks.

limericks that you can say around women and children
limericks you can share with your Priest
and then there are LIMERICKS.
The first two types are usually just watered-down versions.

Limreckal gangters are running amok
most don't care that their limericks might suck
It's not meant to offend or to break any rule
but he who can't laugh is truly a fool
It's a shame you don't like it, but who gives a............
The difference between fiction and reality is that fiction is supposed to make sense.
lilredrooster
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October 31st, 2023 at 11:26:30 AM permalink
.
Beans, beans good for your heart
The more you eat the more you fart.

The more you fart the better you feel
So eat your beans with ever meal.

Beans, beans the musical fruit
The more you eat the more you toot.

Go ahead and toot - get rid of that gas

𝘼𝙉𝘿 𝘽𝙇𝙊𝙒 𝙏𝙃𝙊𝙎𝙀 𝘽𝙀𝘼𝙉𝙎 𝙍𝙄𝙂𝙃𝙏 𝙊𝙐𝙏 𝙊𝙁 𝙔𝙊𝙐𝙍 𝘼𝙎𝙎

.
Please don't feed the trolls
MrV
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October 31st, 2023 at 12:13:46 PM permalink
Some just gamble for money

AP's: they sure are funny

Don't gamble for fun

All bad plays they shun

Dialed in: Land of Milk and Honey
"What, me worry?"
odiousgambit
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October 31st, 2023 at 2:06:00 PM permalink
Quote: gordonm888

Quote: billryan

Historically, you can get away with saying almost anything in a limerick. They are often vulgar and political. There are dozens about English soldiers that would have gotten you imprisoned if said in a regular speech. Some are actual taunts, said only to provoke the insulted to respond.
link to original post



I am in sympathy with billryan on this. Limericks are fun; they are light-hearted jesting that often build a spirit of camaraderie rather than enraged feuding.

Of course, there is a valid argument that insults are insults and that forum suspensions should be handed out - especially if the target of the limerick feels hurt. There is always a line, and people will always cross the line no matter where it is. But I think we should keep ourselves open to the concept of laughing at ourselves.
link to original post



for crying out loud, the very first limerick insults EB, calling him a Yarner, and the Wizard posted a "thank you" to it. I have a little problem with this
the next time Dame Fortune toys with your heart, your soul and your wallet, raise your glass and praise her thus: “Thanks for nothing, you cold-hearted, evil, damnable, nefarious, low-life, malicious monster from Hell!”   She is, after all, stone deaf. ... Arnold Snyder
lilredrooster
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October 31st, 2023 at 2:34:12 PM permalink
Quote: odiousgambit


for crying out loud, the very first limerick insults EB, calling him a Yarner, and the Wizard posted a "thank you" to it. I have a little problem with this
link to original post


you are overreacting
EB himself posted a "Thank You" on that post indicating he himself was not offended
way, way more negative comments about his posts are in another thread and those posting were not disciplined
looks like you're looking to kill a thread a lot of people are having fun with
if that happens it would be unfortunate - a bad case of overcautiousness
posters here who have directly insulted others in this thread have already been suspended

.
Please don't feed the trolls
AxelWolf
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October 31st, 2023 at 2:39:47 PM permalink
Quote: MrV

Some just gamble for money

AP's: they sure are funny

Don't gamble for fun

All bad plays they shun

Dialed in: Land of Milk and Honey
link to original post


Some APs gamble and have fun.
They just stop when the advantage is done.
They use math to pick their winning plays.
Ploppys are good for AP in many ways.
AP's laugh at them anyway.
♪♪Now you swear and kick and beg us That you're not a gamblin' man Then you find you're back in Vegas With a handle in your hand♪♪ Your black cards can make you money So you hide them when you're able In the land of casinos and money You must put them on the table♪♪ You go back Jack do it again roulette wheels turinin' 'round and 'round♪♪ You go back Jack do it again♪♪
billryan
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odiousgambit
October 31st, 2023 at 2:54:19 PM permalink
Censorship makes me nauseous
Speak your truth, and don't be cautious
Can't we all try to get along?
Let's fly a kite and sing a song
Dance naked and hope no saw us.
The difference between fiction and reality is that fiction is supposed to make sense.
billryan
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October 31st, 2023 at 2:57:37 PM permalink
Quote: AxelWolf

Quote: MrV

Some just gamble for money

AP's: they sure are funny

Don't gamble for fun

All bad plays they shun

Dialed in: Land of Milk and Honey
link to original post


Some APs gamble and have fun.
They just stop when the advantage is done.
They use math to pick their winning plays.
Ploppys are good for AP in many ways.
AP's laugh at them anyway.
link to original post


The last line should rhyme with the first two. AABBA. Not AABBB
The difference between fiction and reality is that fiction is supposed to make sense.
lilredrooster
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November 1st, 2023 at 1:56:52 AM permalink
.
And then Mrs. Dolores Thompson
Who couldn't get enough of my Johnson.
She liked it kinna rough
So I acted real tough.
And pretended I was 𝘾𝙃𝘼𝙍𝙇𝙀𝙎 𝘽𝙍𝙊𝙉𝙎𝙊𝙉.


Sweet Lucy one night did three men
And after said " Do It Again."
But the three guys were tired
Found three more got hired.
And later four more made it 𝙏𝙀𝙉.

.
Last edited by: lilredrooster on Nov 1, 2023
Please don't feed the trolls
odiousgambit
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November 1st, 2023 at 4:48:33 AM permalink
Quote: lilredrooster

Quote: odiousgambit


for crying out loud, the very first limerick insults EB, calling him a Yarner, and the Wizard posted a "thank you" to it. I have a little problem with this
link to original post


you are overreacting
EB himself posted a "Thank You" on that post indicating he himself was not offended
way, way more negative comments about his posts are in another thread and those posting were not disciplined
looks like you're looking to kill a thread a lot of people are having fun with
if that happens it would be unfortunate - a bad case of overcautiousness
posters here who have directly insulted others in this thread have already been suspended

.
link to original post

you misunderstand. I like this thread and want it to be [fairly] wide open and was criticizing the Wizard for issuing penalties when even himself 'liked' a post that had a mild insult.

As you say, even EB used a "thank you" for it. [though I suspect he may have complained to the Wizard anyway]
the next time Dame Fortune toys with your heart, your soul and your wallet, raise your glass and praise her thus: “Thanks for nothing, you cold-hearted, evil, damnable, nefarious, low-life, malicious monster from Hell!”   She is, after all, stone deaf. ... Arnold Snyder
odiousgambit
odiousgambit
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  • Posts: 9579
Joined: Nov 9, 2009
November 1st, 2023 at 5:10:28 AM permalink
so for sure I like a limerick to be edgy, something to take a chance on

I think he just doesn’t like me, this red rooster
thus too much to expect him to be a booster
on the other hand
why constantly misunderstand?
I think it’s something I have to get used to
the next time Dame Fortune toys with your heart, your soul and your wallet, raise your glass and praise her thus: “Thanks for nothing, you cold-hearted, evil, damnable, nefarious, low-life, malicious monster from Hell!”   She is, after all, stone deaf. ... Arnold Snyder
lilredrooster
lilredrooster
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Joined: May 8, 2015
Thanked by
odiousgambit
November 1st, 2023 at 6:14:49 AM permalink
.
Here comes Mrs. Abigail Swick
She wouldn't let go of my Stick.
For my sore throat I had some Halls,
But what really hurt were my balls.
I guarantee you that woman is 𝙎𝙄𝘾𝙆.


I needed my horniness to stop,
So I gave this fat girl a Pop.
She knocked me first to the ground,
Then tied me up I was bound.
She squashed me as she got on 𝙏𝙊𝙋.


The story or Mr. George Kupp,
He tried but he couldn't get it up.
He got pills from a local store.
Even went back and got some more.
Now his wifey she gets a good 𝙎𝘾𝙃𝙏𝙐𝙋.


Now Mrs. Eleanor Jones,
She got all over my bones.
White wine we each had a glass,
Then I smacked her curvy, round ass.
The very best is when she 𝙈𝙊𝘼𝙉𝙎.

.
Last edited by: lilredrooster on Nov 1, 2023
Please don't feed the trolls
Ace2
Ace2
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Joined: Oct 2, 2017
November 1st, 2023 at 7:14:36 AM permalink
We all have great respect for the Wizard
He's been too harsh with the suspensions he's administered
Limericks are meant to be fun
Harmless jabs are the way they are done
Being too politically correct with them is absurd
It’s all about making that GTA
tuttigym
tuttigym
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Joined: Feb 12, 2010
Thanked by
Ace2
November 1st, 2023 at 7:26:00 AM permalink
Welcome back Ace. Just to let you know, I was NOT offended but flattered of the mention.

tuttigym
Mental
Mental 
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November 1st, 2023 at 7:41:59 AM permalink
Quote: Wizard

Quote: Mental

There was a curmudgeon named Bob
who made posting nonsense his job.
Logic won't make him stop.
His post count is on top.
Grandiosity makes his heart throb.
link to original post



Personal insult. Three days.
link to original post


This forum is more enjoyable after I learned how to use the 'Block this user' button.
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