EvenBob
EvenBob
Joined: Jul 18, 2010
  • Threads: 427
  • Posts: 24585
July 25th, 2011 at 3:26:53 PM permalink
Quote: HotBlonde

I'll remember not to have you set me up with any of your friends.



Honest
Responsible
Positive
Very Affectionate
Emotionally Stable
Makes a Financially Healthy Living
Intelligent
Not obese

You want a rich, educated, thin, affectionate, honest (doesn't cheat),
upbeat, responsible (doesn't gamble the house away), stable (no depression,
anger issues, wife beating), good looking husband. You want a
romance book fantasy and daddy all rolled into one. He doesn't exist,
and if he did, he'd want a 23 year old beauty queen to fulfill all his
fantasies.
"It's not enough to succeed, your friends must fail." Gore Vidal
thecesspit
thecesspit
Joined: Apr 19, 2010
  • Threads: 53
  • Posts: 5936
July 25th, 2011 at 3:34:29 PM permalink
I don't know, not obese != thin, and financially healthy != rich. I am sure HotBlonde has her own rules of thumb on what constitutes non-obese and financially stable.

She doesn't use danger words like "to take care of me" or "to look great on my arm" or "must have six pack"...
"Then you can admire the real gambler, who has neither eaten, slept, thought nor lived, he has so smarted under the scourge of his martingale, so suffered on the rack of his desire for a coup at trente-et-quarante" - Honore de Balzac, 1829
EvenBob
EvenBob
Joined: Jul 18, 2010
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July 25th, 2011 at 3:57:34 PM permalink
Quote: thecesspit

I don't know, not obese != thin, and financially healthy != rich.



I know how this works, I have a 30 year old
daughter who hasn't had a boyfriend in
5 years. The older she gets, the more the
fantasy of what she'll settle for in a man
increases. He has to be all the things listed
above and more. She hangs out with
her girlfriends who aren't married and they
go to movies and hockey games and go
to each other houses and bake brownies
and cookies all the time and sit around
while their butts get bigger, and complain
about why they can't find the man of their
dreams. I'm convinced she'll never find
anybody, she doesn't really want to give up
the girlfriend-fun-and fudge lifestyle.
"It's not enough to succeed, your friends must fail." Gore Vidal
FleaStiff
FleaStiff
Joined: Oct 19, 2009
  • Threads: 265
  • Posts: 14484
July 25th, 2011 at 4:55:18 PM permalink
If she has girlfriends, fun and fudge ... what does she need with an animated vibrator that doesn't make half the money he claimed he did?
HotBlonde
HotBlonde
Joined: Feb 8, 2011
  • Threads: 110
  • Posts: 1612
July 25th, 2011 at 7:15:09 PM permalink
Quote: FleaStiff

I'd say to Hot Blonde: Never settle.

Thank you, it already shows that you're more positive than EvenBob.

And if not settling means I'll be single for the rest of my life then I am 100% okay with that. I'd like to eventually be in a loving relationship with an awesome guy but it's not the end of the world if it doesn't happen. Too many women out there are desperate, thinking their lives would be better only if they had a man in their lives. To think that your life would be better that way is to be believing a lie.
OFFICIALLY and justifiably reclaimed my title as SuperHotBlonde!
boymimbo
boymimbo
Joined: Nov 12, 2009
  • Threads: 17
  • Posts: 5994
July 25th, 2011 at 7:50:49 PM permalink
Balderdash.

Dealbreakers are few and far between: cheating, bad at sex, drug addict, thief, criminal. My standards are pretty low. Love, however, is created by something that can't be defined. My wife is not perfect, but she's perfect for me. She has a mixture of qualities, none of which that are dealbreakers, that make her special for me. Were I to write down what I wanted in a wife or what characteristics I wanted in a companion and then decided to only accept those on the list I would have never met her, or I would have discarded her right away. For example, she's politically opposite from me. She drinks more than she should. She's antisocial, all of which are qualities that do not describe perfection. I'm not perfect either. I like to gamble, I'm too friendly, I'm politically left. I myself am guilty of one of the qualities on my own list (and it's not bad at sex).

So, rather than look for a list of qualities, keep your heart and mind open and see what comes along. I'm not saying "be desparate", but keep your heart and mind open, and the imperfect man (but perfect for you) will come into your life.
----- You want the truth! You can't handle the truth!
konceptum
konceptum
Joined: Mar 25, 2010
  • Threads: 33
  • Posts: 790
July 25th, 2011 at 11:11:00 PM permalink
A female friend of mine recently sent me an email with what she was looking for in a man. (Maybe all these women read the same thing recently?) Anyway, her list was 20 items long. At first, it seemed like a lot, but after I really stopped to analyze what she had wrote, a lot of the items were just the same thing, only worded differently. (Stuff like, enjoys spending time with my kids, and enjoys traveling with my kids, to me, were basically the same thing.) After I reduced the list to core values, there were only 7, which seemed much more reasonable.

I think, as we get older, it gets harder and harder for us to change ourselves. Furthermore, we are less likely to want to change somebody else. That makes it more and more difficult to find somebody, since we're no longer looking for someone we can change into what we want, but rather that someone who already fits what we want. Needless to say, it gets harder to find that.

Trying to figure out what I'm looking for in a woman was too hard for me, so instead I decided to make a list of what I definitely do not want: unwilling to learn, lazy (by my definition), financially irresponsible (by my definition), and anger issues and/or mean.
EvenBob
EvenBob
Joined: Jul 18, 2010
  • Threads: 427
  • Posts: 24585
July 25th, 2011 at 11:56:42 PM permalink
Quote: boymimbo


but keep your heart and mind open, and the imperfect man (but perfect for you) will come into your life.



The perfect man never comes along, you
settle for an imperfect one and make him
perfect for you. Just find one who's a nice
guy and doesn't have opinions written in
stone. The opposite of me..
"It's not enough to succeed, your friends must fail." Gore Vidal
thecesspit
thecesspit
Joined: Apr 19, 2010
  • Threads: 53
  • Posts: 5936
July 26th, 2011 at 12:06:28 AM permalink
Quote: EvenBob

The perfect man never comes along, you
settle for an imperfect one and make him
perfect for you. Just find one who's a nice
guy and doesn't have opinions written in
stone. The opposite of me..



There's a deal breaker, the woman who will try and turn you into something else as a special project.
"Then you can admire the real gambler, who has neither eaten, slept, thought nor lived, he has so smarted under the scourge of his martingale, so suffered on the rack of his desire for a coup at trente-et-quarante" - Honore de Balzac, 1829
FleaStiff
FleaStiff
Joined: Oct 19, 2009
  • Threads: 265
  • Posts: 14484
July 26th, 2011 at 1:04:13 AM permalink
Quote: thecesspit

There's a deal breaker, the woman who will try and turn you into something else as a special project.


Yes, that is often a deal breaker. The wiser woman accepts the faults as the price she is paying. Some women nag about smoking but the wiser one simply states her case once. One woman enjoyed a wonderful marriage to a wonderful guy ... she accepted his long term relationship with a mistress. She enjoyed the 90 percent of his time and income too much to obsess about the missing ten percent. Often a mistress is a deal breaker but it seems to be coming more common that such arbitrary and inflexible rules are being relaxed. Wives and ex-wives often meet for "dinner, wine and the California sunset".

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