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darkoz
darkoz
Joined: Dec 22, 2009
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Thanks for this post from:
RigondeauxAcesAndEightsWizardPokerGrinderMaxPenbobbartop100xOddstringlomanemiplet
August 16th, 2019 at 9:21:53 AM permalink
The virus was airborne, all inclusive, and struck indiscriminately all models regardless of nationality.

The first death was recorded on August 29th, 2023.

The symptoms first were a sluggishness of operations of the car. Then, sputtering and coughing, oil spillage and eventually the total and final death of the corroded car parts.

It was an inexplicable car virus that spread throughout the united states. New cars were dead on arrival. By 2025, the entire U.S. was without automobiles.

Bus, trains and planes were immune and so the country resorted to mass transit.

Most business people adjusted. Bus companies created a first class at the front. Other people had to sit in the back (disproportionate amounts of people of color complained the world had stepped backwards while some people claimed America was simply great again).

Car pornography was on the rise. People who fantasized over the sleek curves and sexy colors of unattainable models. Some of the more crass magazines displayed closeups of the exhaust and showed nothing but tail pipe.

The hardest hit were Advantage Players across the west and midwest. These gamblers refused to take buses or trains to their destinations. Effectively, they were put out of business athough many casinos breathed a sigh of relief at the loss of these predators.(the casinos began charging high parking fees for cars which could be stored in the massive parking garages until a hopeful cure might one day be found -- in essence, creating massive multi-storied car mausoleums)

In an interview with car porn magazine "Muffler", AP Axel stated: I was named after a car part, the Axel, so this has been difficult. I used to be all over but since I will never take a train or bus, all I can do is AP those locations I can walk to. I also have a 10-speed bike but if its further than 15 minutes away, I dont bother."

Another AP, Max (real name withheld) was completely shut down. "I used to have a lot of penetration into the casinos but now, I am stranded at my home. I, mean, I know all the paytables. I just cant do anything with that information."

When queried why they dont take the train, both Max and Axel, began looking wistfully into the distance and sighed.

Other AP's from mass transit hubs in the East have seen to take advantage of the sudden power vacuum, people like Darkoz, spreading fear amongst casinos in the west.

Meanwhile, the Wizard of Odds, Mike Shackleford has been working on a combinatorial analysis of how mass transit, combined with bus promos and travel time affects house edge. He is preparing a page of this analysis to come out circa 2026 on his site, WizardofOdds.com

The world of AP was thrown into a tailspin, but due to members like Darkoz, the most feared AP of the entire country now, it is not dead.
For Whom the bus tolls; The bus tolls for thee
Rigondeaux
Rigondeaux
Joined: Aug 18, 2014
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August 16th, 2019 at 9:40:23 AM permalink
Whatever differences people have, I think everyone has to concede, that was funny, well written and creative.
Wizard
Administrator
Wizard
Joined: Oct 14, 2009
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August 16th, 2019 at 10:19:09 AM permalink
Great story! I've never known an AP to use public transportation of any sort. Recently I took a couple kicking and screaming onto the Monorail, which they had never ridden before, despite living in Vegas for years.
It's not whether you win or lose; it's whether or not you had a good bet.
PokerGrinder
PokerGrinder
Joined: Apr 30, 2015
  • Threads: 21
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August 16th, 2019 at 10:20:06 AM permalink
I always enjoy your writing Darkoz, I like the humour.
You can shear a sheep a hundred times, but you can skin it only once. ó Amarillo Slim Preston
EvenBob
EvenBob
Joined: Jul 18, 2010
  • Threads: 421
  • Posts: 23261
August 16th, 2019 at 10:46:46 AM permalink
Quote: darkoz

The virus was airborne, all inclusive, and struck indiscriminately all models regardless of nationality.

The first death was recorded on August 29th, 2023.

The symptoms first were a sluggishness of operations of the car. Then, sputtering and coughing, oil spillage and eventually the total and final death of the corroded car parts.

It was an inexplicable car virus that spread throughout the united states. New cars were dead on arrival. By 2025, the entire U.S. was without automobiles.

Bus, trains and planes were immune and so the country resorted to mass transit.

Most business people adjusted. Bus companies created a first class at the front. Other people had to sit in the back (disproportionate amounts of people of color complained the world had stepped backwards while some people claimed America was simply great again).

Car pornography was on the rise. People who fantasized over the sleek curves and sexy colors of unattainable models. Some of the more crass magazines displayed closeups of the exhaust and showed nothing but tail pipe.

The hardest hit were Advantage Players across the west and midwest. These gamblers refused to take buses or trains to their destinations. Effectively, they were put out of business athough many casinos breathed a sigh of relief at the loss of these predators.(the casinos began charging high parking fees for cars which could be stored in the massive parking garages until a hopeful cure might one day be found -- in essence, creating massive multi-storied car mausoleums)

In an interview with car porn magazine "Muffler", AP Axel stated: I was named after a car part, the Axel, so this has been difficult. I used to be all over but since I will never take a train or bus, all I can do is AP those locations I can walk to. I also have a 10-speed bike but if its further than 15 minutes away, I dont bother."

Another AP, Max (real name withheld) was completely shut down. "I used to have a lot of penetration into the casinos but now, I am stranded at my home. I, mean, I know all the paytables. I just cant do anything with that information."

When queried why they dont take the train, both Max and Axel, began looking wistfully into the distance and sighed.

Other AP's from mass transit hubs in the East have seen to take advantage of the sudden power vacuum, people like Darkoz, spreading fear amongst casinos in the west.

Meanwhile, the Wizard of Odds, Mike Shackleford has been working on a combinatorial analysis of how mass transit, combined with bus promos and travel time affects house edge. He is preparing a page of this analysis to come out circa 2026 on his site, WizardofOdds.com

The world of AP was thrown into a tailspin, but due to members like Darkoz, the most feared AP of the entire country now, it is not dead.



My first advice in writing 101 is, understand
what a paragraph is for and use it correctly.
Here's a hint:

"The unity and coherence of ideas among sentences is what constitutes a paragraph."

One of the hardest things to achieve in
writing is knowing when a new paragraph is
needed. In Hemingway's Green Hills of
Africa there is a paragraph that's 496 words
long. Not only is it a paragraph, it's a single
sentence. This paragraph has been studied
in college writing classes since the 30's as
literary genius.
"It's not enough to succeed, your friends must fail." Gore Vidal
AcesAndEights
AcesAndEights
Joined: Jan 5, 2012
  • Threads: 67
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August 16th, 2019 at 10:48:25 AM permalink
Quote: Wizard

Great story! I've never known an AP to use public transportation of any sort. Recently I took a couple kicking and screaming onto the Monorail, which they had never ridden before, despite living in Vegas for years.


I have both taken the bus AND ridden my bike to a casino to partake in advantage play. I wouldn't categorize myself as an AP, but I do sometimes do AP. If that makes sense.
"So drink gamble eat f***, because one day you will be dust." -ontariodealer
PokerGrinder
PokerGrinder
Joined: Apr 30, 2015
  • Threads: 21
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Thanks for this post from:
MaxPen
August 16th, 2019 at 10:55:32 AM permalink
Iíve driven both a car and a motorcycle, Iíve walked, bused shuttled and Iíve also taken a tuk tuk. I am the jack of all ways to get to a casino lol.

Edit: of course a taxi too.
You can shear a sheep a hundred times, but you can skin it only once. ó Amarillo Slim Preston
AZDuffman
AZDuffman
Joined: Nov 2, 2009
  • Threads: 217
  • Posts: 10992
August 16th, 2019 at 10:56:08 AM permalink
Quote: Wizard

Great story! I've never known an AP to use public transportation of any sort. Recently I took a couple kicking and screaming onto the Monorail, which they had never ridden before, despite living in Vegas for years.



I'll take the Deuce in Vegas and took the bus to work here while I waited for a parking lease to open up. But beyond that I just do not do it.

OTOH, when I have a gig in downtown I will park for free at the casino and take the free subway to downtown most times, a case of AP in itself I guess.
Tolerance is the virtue of believing in nothing
Indy70
Indy70
Joined: Jul 30, 2015
  • Threads: 0
  • Posts: 16
August 16th, 2019 at 11:01:00 AM permalink
Very clever darkoz!

A much needed break, from all that's gone on here the last week or so.

Thanks
mcallister3200
mcallister3200
Joined: Dec 29, 2013
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August 16th, 2019 at 12:17:37 PM permalink
BLOCKED!!!!!

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