The truth about marriage
Quote: megapixelsClearly you've never been to a small midwestern town. All they do is smoke, drink, go to bars, do meth, and eat ranch dressing on everything. I've lived it for 40 years.
Around here, it's 30% that, 30% churchies and about 40% something in between.
Quote: ZenKinGIm not sure ill ever get married unfortunately, unless i go to Europe and find an old scool type of girl that has the right values as it should be and bas some level of intelligence and her priority doesnt revolve around celebrity garbage.
There are more than enough American women who would love to not work and have a husband who provided for them -- I know plenty of them in Las Vegas where you live. It's mind boggling to think you can somehow go through life and not meet any.
Quote: ZenKinGOld school western european women(Italian and Portuguese families, for example) that had strict hard working fathers and an obedient loving mother who set them straight and instilled in them with the proper values is where i have to look, but thats not the point of this thread.
You blew it when you headed west, as the one you want is the girl next door.
Look no further than Lancaster, Pa.
Once you go Amish, you'll never famish.
Now where's my buggywhip?
I don't know when the concept of, "Hand-me-downs," was forgotten, but does it not occur to anyone that someone could own three TV's and have paid for fewer than three, perhaps even zero of them?
I bought a big screen TV I saw on Craigslist (and was slightly worried I was being set up) for $20 once, all because the guy wanted a new TV and mostly just didn't want to move the old one out of his house. He was old and the thing weighed about 724,000 pounds. He even said, "Bring two people."
I mean, if certain people were to walk into the house of someone on some sort of benefits, what would the assumption be? "Look at her, she doesn't need my tax dollars, she obviously has the money for these TVs!"
I just think it's funny.
Quote: jackmagic777I just wish once that when a guy follows a dude buying cigarettes and beer with his food stamps, the dude would be driving a buick or a lexus. But it's always a Cadillac,
Where can a person still do that? I was a cashier in late High School & Early College eighteen flippin' years ago when they started converting to the EBT cards, which don't allow for change (there's no breakage, it just stays on the card) and nor does it allow for non-food purchases. Granted, a colluding shopkeeper could theoretically game it, but that is not worth anything even close to whatever benefit they think they are somehow getting from it. Except the employee, I suppose, all an employee would get is fired...probably no criminal charges.
I'm on the fence about those certain states where food stamps can be applied to something like Schwan's, or your area equivalent. On the one hand, having ice cream bars and crap delivered to your residence at a premium over grocery store prices seem, on the surface, to be beyond the pale....on the other hand, I see where it might benefit an older person living alone with limited mobility or ability to get anywhere in areas with poor public transit. Certainly cheaper than the elderly person living in an assisted living center or nursing home.
Quote: FCBLComishHow to live comfortable on 1 income:
1) Spend less than you make.
2) Rinse and Repeat.
Too many people complain that they cannot afford to live while they have $200 per month cable bills, eat out at restaurants daily, have several televisions, iphones, etc.
People are driving cars that have mortgage sized payments. Why?
Oh yeah, and the biggest thing people spend money on.... Credit Card Interest.
It can be done. I did it for 10 years. My wife did not work, nor did she need to. I am not rich, I was making slightly more than the average bear, but not a lot. I have a son. We lived comfortably in a house, in a nice area.
You need to prioritize your spending.
This is not realistic.
Quote: FinsRuleThis is not realistic.
Why not?
Quote: megapixelsClearly you've never been to a small midwestern town. All they do is smoke, drink, go to bars, do meth, and eat ranch dressing on everything. I've lived it for 40 years.
You're not wrong. They're there as well. The meth problem where my sister and nieces live is one of the worst in America. But there are many people living the straight and narrow in those same communities.
Quote: ZenKinGFalse.
No, Sonny, it's not false. You're
over thinking this as someone
very young and never married.
People have high expectations,
and not enough knowledge of
who the other person is. Marriage
fails for the same reason most
projects fail. Lack of knowledge
of what you're getting into,
high expectations due to a lack
of knowledge, and almost always
a lack of funding. That's a biggie
in the marriage failure dept too.
Quote: DRichWhy not?
After deductions are taken out of my paycheck, I make about $3500 a month.
I own a 250k house that is below average for the Chicagoland area. My monthly payment is $2100. I don’t think I need to even get into any other bills before it’s apparent that we need a 2nd income.
Quote: megapixelsClearly you've never been to a small midwestern town. All they do is smoke, drink, go to bars, do meth, and eat ranch dressing on everything. I've lived it for 40 years.
Meth heads > people who put ranch on stuff.
Quote: FinsRuleAfter deductions are taken out of my paycheck, I make about $3500 a month.
I own a 250k house that is below average for the Chicagoland area. My monthly payment is $2100. I don’t think I need to even get into any other bills before it’s apparent that we need a 2nd income.
You might consider relocating. A friend of mine just bought a small 3 bedroom house in Redford Michigan for $38k.
My point is options are available. People can live cheaper, it may not be easy but it is possible.
Quote: FinsRuleAfter deductions are taken out of my paycheck, I make about $3500 a month.
I own a 250k house that is below average for the Chicagoland area. My monthly payment is $2100. I don’t think I need to even get into any other bills before it’s apparent that we need a 2nd income.
Here's the thing: If you have people who are reasonably well-to-do or well-to-do, I could understand why they feel the way they do regardless of the level of education.
In many cases, I can even understand poor(ish) white males without kids feeling the way they do about this sort of thing. Here they are working, but then they turn around and see some benefit recipients living perhaps just as well as they do, but working less...albeit with kids. THat's understandable, and I could see why they might feel some source of envy or accuse the recipient of, "Entitlement."
What I don't understand is undereducated males (of any race or religion) who are decidedly NOT well-to-do, who have kids and go on ranting about benefit recipients. I've known divorced guys to do it, running their mouth about how their ex, "Lives better," than them, gets the Government benefits and, by God, still gets child support from him.
Here's a question: Are her benefits not also his benefits?
Think about this for a second: When it comes to medical costs for the kids that are being paid for by the state, so long as the guy is working, does anyone actually believe a divorce court is going to allow these kids to go entirely without health insurance were it not being provided by the Government? Obviously not. Thus, the kids are getting the benefits AND the money that would otherwise be being charged him in child support (or the insurance he might be court-ordered to provide otherwise) is not being charged because the Government is indirectly supplementing his child support payments by providing insurance to the kids.
This is also true of food stamps. Does anyone think the divorce judge is just going to say, "Well, I guess the kids just don't get to eat." Of course not! The guy's child support is going to go up.
And yet, many of these guys vote against their own financial interests year after year after year. Why? Guns, God and whatever other concessions well-to-do people on the Right are willing to make to them to get them in the coalition.
And, the church? The church would just have it such that the two of them could never be divorced anyway, in many cases. Fortunately for all parties involved, the church no longer controls that.
Once again, for guys who never had kids or anyone who is well-to-do, I can understand where they're coming from.
Quote: AxelWolfHe also had this to say about marriage.
Warning Foul language.
That's very funny and very true. Women
are predators for attractive married men
and famous men.
The guy who ran the stereo store in
Santa Barbara next to my bar was
one of the best looking men I've ever
seen in my life. He said when he was
single he had to work at getting
laid. As soon as he was married, he
had offers everywhere he went.
Ashton Kutcher said that when he was
single, he had no problem getting
the 7 or 8 ranked women. The 9's
and 10's avoided him him because
they just wanted the attention.
As soon as he got married to Demi
Moore, he was propositioned all
the time by 10's, by women he said
totally ignored him when he was
single. He knew they wanted to show
themselves they were just as desirable
as Demi Moore, so he spurned them.
Hardest thing he ever did, he said.
Some of these women were so gorgeous
he could barely speak to them.
Never underestimate how far women
will go to raise their self esteem. They'll
play you till you're all played out and
kick you to the curb..
Quote: DRichYou might consider relocating. A friend of mine just bought a small 3 bedroom house in Redford Michigan for $38k.
My point is options are available. People can live cheaper, it may not be easy but it is possible.
Right. We can live away from both of our families and barely get by on one income. Or my wife can just be an attorney and we can still be poor, but we get cool stuff. Or we can have nothing but be rich.
We are choosing the have stuff and be poor option.
Quote: FinsRule
We are choosing the have stuff and be poor option.
And that is your choice and I don't necessarily disagree with it. My only point is that it can be done. People living in some counties in West Virginia and Alabama would consider you a very rich man and yet they may have more kids than you and still be happy.
Quote: IndyJeffreyMy simple theory is this...
Once upon a time there were one income families, they were happy.
My uncle worked as a factory welder. His
wife didn't work, he owned a big house
and raised 5 kids.
They never ate out, the kids wore hand
me downs, they had one B/W tv, one
dial phone, no long distance calls,
one used car, each kid got $25 spent
on them at Xmas from the money
put into the Xmas account every week.
They drove across town two days
before Xmas to get a tree marked down
to 50 cents.
And they were the epitome of the American
family in the 50's and 60's. All on a welders
salary of probably $4000 to $6000 a year.
That lifestyle would be considered below
the poverty line today.
Quote: DRichAnd that is your choice and I don't necessarily disagree with it. My only point is that it can be done. People living in some counties in West Virginia and Alabama would consider you a very rich man and yet they may have more kids than you and still be happy.
Last month I got the bank statement of
the guy across the street. He has the
same first name as me, and our addresses
are almost identical, who does more than
glance at their mail.
He and his wife have a joint checking account
with direct deposits of $31,000 a month.
That's $350K a year. I was blown away. They're
both in their mid 30's, have little kids.
How many Americans live like this now. What
skills do they have worth that kind of money.
Quote: EvenBobLast month I got the bank statement of
the guy across the street. He has the
same first name as me, and our addresses
are almost identical, who does more than
glance at their mail.
He and his wife have a joint checking account
with direct deposits of $31,000 a month.
That's $350K a year. I was blown away. They're
both in their mid 30's, have little kids.
How many Americans live like this now. What
skills do they have worth that kind of money.
He probably knows how to read names on mail better than you.
I’m guessing you purposely opened that bank statement by accident....
Quote: FinsRuleI’m guessing you purposely opened that bank statement by accident....
So you scrutinize every letter you get?
Not me, I rarely even glance at them,
I'm the only one here, who else would
it be for. Makes me wonder who's getting
my mail.
Quote: Zcore13You do know that most women make more than you right? Actually, many teens do as well. You can only hope to find a lady that will put up with your chosen "profession" and conspiracy theories, while more than doubling your household income.
ZCore13
You do know that most of these women are broke and in massive debt, but so is the general population. How much debt do i have again and how much liquid cash do i have again? Is my car paid off as well? Am I a slave to my boss each day? Am I a slave to my alarm clock? Or do I do whatever the hell I want every day? Hell, i havent even played in 4 days cause i dont feel like it.
How many people could wake up for the past 3.5 years(last time I had a 'job') and say 'I dont have to go to work'. Looks like im the one with all the leverage. Not to mention, i could make more than them as well since my hourly is higher than theirs if i just decided to play more, but i dont need the money that desperately to pay the rent. Then again, everyone is droned out, thats why people live paycheck to paycheck even when they all have these wonderful 'high paying jobs'.
What about these droned out girls who dont even understand what 'i do' for a living. How many women will not want to sign up to this just because theyre a droned out robot and live their lives off of stereotypes and what society tells them to think. Just look at all the girls today. They're all tatted up all over their bodies and look like trash. That's the epitome of a drone. Im talking about the ones with moderate to large size ones all over their body. Some have just a single isolated tattoo and are not droned out, thats fine, but what a sad time to be alive.
Why are you even replying? Dont you have a boss to attend to? How's that bridge I was supposed to be living under a year ago treating you? Gets boring proving everyone wrong time and time again. Proved you wrong. Proved my friends wrong. Proved my family wrong. Whatever happens from here on out, I already proved everyone wrong and ive 'worked' 1/4 of the hours I should have LOL. Oh damn, here comes the bad karma for having a laugh at everyone, even though everyone else started it.
Quote: ZenKinGOh damn, here comes the bad karma for having a laugh at everyone, even though everyone else started it.
What do you mean? I'm extremely happy for you that you can get by to your standards doing something you enjoy doing, everyone should be so fortunate. It's abundantly clear from the joyous tone of all of your posts that you are extremely happy, not just with what you are doing for a living, but also life in general.
In all honesty, though, I don't know why you seem to think everyone is rooting against you. Despite not personally enjoying the vast majority of your posts, I 98% don't care at all what happens to you and 2% care and hope you succeed. 0% of me cares to see you fail. Why would I want to see you or anyone else fail unless I despise them...and I despise almost nobody, perhaps nobody.
Quote: Mission146What do you mean? I'm extremely happy for you that you can get by to your standards doing something you enjoy doing, everyone should be so fortunate. It's abundantly clear from the joyous tone of all of your posts that you are extremely happy, not just with what you are doing for a living, but also life in general.
In all honesty, though, I don't know why you seem to think everyone is rooting against you. Despite not personally enjoying the vast majority of your posts, I 98% don't care at all what happens to you and 2% care and hope you succeed. 0% of me cares to see you fail. Why would I want to see you or anyone else fail unless I despise them...and I despise almost nobody, perhaps nobody.
When I say 'everyone' i dont exactly mean everyone, but the majority. I also can count the number of people on my hand that have actually supported me in playing blackjack. Actually now that I think about it, no one has supported me in playing blackjack and I still succeed because I came into this world alone and ill leave it alone. If i can make money counting cards in the worst and sweatiest blackjack city in america as well as make money at it in general overall, im not sure theres anything I cant do anymore.
Quote: ZenKinGWhen I say 'everyone' i dont exactly mean everyone, but the majority. I also can count the number of people on my hand that have actually supported me in playing blackjack. Actually now that I think about it, no one has supported me in playing blackjack and I still succeed because I came into this world alone and ill leave it alone. If i can make money counting cards in the worst and sweatiest blackjack city in america as well as make money at it in general overall, im not sure theres anything I cant do anymore.
I don't think that's objectively true, though your perception may be different. You have had a couple dozen people here trying to support your activities, with everything from routes to Vegas, apartments, and other info about living there, to meeting you, offering other plays, suggestions on dealing with adverse actions like trespassing and 86s, and extending sympathy and help when you have said angry, even suicidal things.
It has seemed for quite a while that you are motivated by a sense of self-reliance and adversity. You create obstacles that people are not placing there, just to knock them down and demonstrate to yourself that you can meet challenges. If that works for you, so be it.
But I, for one, would prefer not to be an object of your adversity and negativity. I would prefer you not set other people up to be offended at your mischaracterizing their efforts or interest, triggering anger in return, and making false claims of conspiracy or betrayal.
In short, if you find yourself in an "I'll show everybody" stance, it's because you create that adversity, not because people here are throwing it at you. I don't know why you lie to yourself about it, as I said, but if you can't be honest with yourself, who can you?
Quote: beachbumbabsThere are many many women who would enjoy the life you're suggesting is theirs by gender destiny.
Everything they do revolves around their family in all generations and their immediate circle of friends. If you grow up with it, either you love that tight community or you get out. There's very few in-betweeners.
Lots of women are mainly interested in being women and in their relationships. There are also more urban or modern versions.
Def. an example of be careful what you wish for. Most of their SOs would gladly chop of a hand if those women would find some sort of outside interests in life.
Unknown Canucklehead.
Opinions without foundation are akin to farts in a stiff breeze: they stink and soon evaporate into near-nothingness.
What's coming up next from this self-annointed Oracle of Las Vegas?
She is to fat.Quote: MrVYou blew it when you headed west, as the one you want is the girl next door.
Look no further than Lancaster, Pa.
Once you go Amish, you'll never famish.
Now where's my buggywhip?
Quote: AxelWolfShe is to fat.Quote: MrVYou blew it when you headed west, as the one you want is the girl next door.
Look no further than Lancaster, Pa.
Once you go Amish, you'll never famish.
Now where's my buggywhip?
I tell yax, every time I think a thread has reached the limit of banality or nonsense, someone finds a way.
Quote: AxelWolfShe is to fat.Quote: MrVYou blew it when you headed west, as the one you want is the girl next door.
Look no further than Lancaster, Pa.
Once you go Amish, you'll never famish.
Now where's my buggywhip?
You won't see her in a Victoria's Secret
catalog, but she's about average for
a young girl these days..
LOL. I just knew that would trigger you. I know that is actress and model Lili Simmons, she rocks.Quote: beachbumbabsQuote: AxelWolfShe is to fat.Quote: MrVYou blew it when you headed west, as the one you want is the girl next door.
Look no further than Lancaster, Pa.
Once you go Amish, you'll never famish.
Now where's my buggywhip?
I tell yax, every time I think a thread has reached the limit of banality or nonsense, someone finds a way.
Quote: Gialmerelifelong marital bliss?
The original oxymoron.
ox·y·mo·ron
/ˌäksəˈmôrˌän/Submit
noun
a figure of speech in which apparently contradictory terms appear in conjunction
by nature, we look out for ourselves
and we want what we want. If you
have pets you know they are only
out for themselves. We are one step
above them, barely.
Take two selfish people and make them
live together or work together, and you
have problems. Put them in a marriage,
and you have two competing selfish
people vying every day for supremacy.
So one gives in more than the other,
almost always, and the problems
start. Very seldom do you see two people
mature enough to do the work and give
up part of their selfishness for the sake
of the relationship.
I don't, and I admit it. That's why I haven't
lived with my wife in 20 years and why
we're still married. We seldom see each
other.
Quote: jackmagic777I believe in marriage , but many divorces are a result of people not being today who they were when first married.
People seldom change, they just become
more of who they always were. We all
live in a world of partial denial about
something, or many things. As we age,
the denials drop away you're left with
who you've been all along.
I love the old saying of, no matter where
I moved to, I couldn't escape myself.
Quote: ZenKinGJust look at the animal kingdom, you think they care about their partners or want to 'marry' each other and profess their love for the world to see?
I realize your question was intended to be rhetorical, but once again the self-proclaimed king of zen is wrong, wrong, wrong.
Many animals do in fact mate for life.
Here's info on 11 of them: article
or maybe both is being denied what
they want to be doing, or forced to do
things they don't like.
In the past this was tolerated because
a woman needed a man for financial
support and a man needed a wife to
keep his house and raise his kids.
So they hated each other in silence.
That's all changed now.
Quote: jackmagic777I believe in marriage , but many divorces are a result of people not being today who they were when first married. Have know crooks to find religion, shy bride in later years sleeping around. How different is your value system then when you got married ?
I've always advocated for a marriage term limit - 5 years, 7 years, 10 years, pick your poison - the marriage contract ends at that point in time with an option to re-up for X number of years
Quote: aceofspadesI've always advocated for a marriage term limit - 5 years, 7 years, 10 years, pick your poison - the marriage contract ends at that point in time with an option to re-up for X number of years
With a built in pre-nup. It would put
divorce lawyers out of business.
Quote: EvenBobWith a built in pre-nup. It would put
divorce lawyers out of business.
Pshaw.
No it wouldn't.
I would be good with an hourly term limit.Quote: aceofspadesI've always advocated for a marriage term limit - 5 years, 7 years, 10 years, pick your poison - the marriage contract ends at that point in time with an option to re-up for X number of years
Quote: ZenKinGThanks for making another one of my points that I forgot to mention in the OP. Marriage is completely 'UN-NATURAL'. The fact that you mention 'You have to work at it to make it work' makes my point that it's not natural to be with someone your whole life, which is another reason for divorce, but it ties in with the point I made about both partners being in it really for 'themselves' the whole time and that true love doesnt exist......
Plenty of species mate for life. And heck, what's wrong with divorce anyway? I've divorced once, paid spousal support for a year, and still pay child support to the mother of my 21 year-old. And I don't particularly care. It is what it is. Because my ex refused didn't do anything with her life and suffers from mental health issues I'm ejecting to continue child support longer than I need to. I'm blessed with a great job and that money is not an issue.
Divorce is not the end of the world. It is a mistake, a learning experience. I wish I didn't marry the person in the first place but without that marriage my daughter wouldn't exist, and I really couldn't imagine a life without her.
And even in my current marriage, it isn't perfect. Far from. It. But when you get into your mid-40s you change your priorities anyway. I care little about money or sex. I care much more about what I can do for others and what mark I can make in the world in the short time I have here. But that's just me.
And we're not dogs.
As for evenbob's perspective on marriage, it's awfully dark. I work from home. I see my wife for probably 3-5 hours a day depending on what room I'm working from. Yeah she drives me nuts sometimes. But I love her pretty much as much as I love my own child. It isn't googly-i gotta-screw-now kind of love but it isn't a friendship either. She's my partner, for better or for worse.
Quote: MrVAt the end of the day a marriage is just another form of partnership, and many of the same issues which cause partnerships to implode also can be found in marriages.
And the first rule of business is, never take
on a partner. I've had a couple and they
never work out. The first one I had I hated
so badly I actually told him to his face that
that he was a selfish, lazy, lying jerk.
In a marriage it's even worse, you have to
see them every day and sleep with them. Cary
Grant, who married 4-5 times, said the
problem with marriage was the dailiness
of it. You eat breakfast with them, and
dinner, and sit around in the evening and
then have to sleep with them all night.
