Need advice on what to do with my suspicious BF

It started off with a lie....told me his wife died but later i found that he lives with his wife and two kids, i asked him about it and he said that he is going through a divorce, well, i know that 'all married men say that' but on one occasion when he disappeared for 24hours I was really worried and called his wife, all she said was 'This is not his phone, may i get ur name so i can have him call you' I wanted to know he is ok and said ' I am really worried abt him, she simply said, 'oh i know he is fine' dint ask me who i am or anything. so that made me think may be he is going through a divorce.
He almost never answers when i call him, but just calls me back
I have never been to his house says....they are trying not to let the kids know about the divorce
worst thing is He borrowed money from me about 5k, and now he needs more. He claimed he owns some property which i later found out that he does not own it. I hired a private investigator do background seach on him and he apparently was arrested for not paying child support god knows to who, and he also got a restraining order in dec 2011......very long list of wat i found
my question is I am right now going through torture.....dont know what will happen if i confront him with ...."I know all about you"
Please someone advise me what to do, we have started an online business together recently, now i dont know how to get out of this without him getting viscious.
I have known this guy for 1 year :-(

I hope after all that you're at least at the point of recognizing the question isn't whether to end it -- but how. I favor making as little drama out of it as possible. Tell him you want to end it and give him as few reasons as possible. If you explain everything you know, then he will probably fool you with some false explanation for everything. You had just cause to leave with one-tenth the red flags raised above -- so something is drawing you to this bum. This is always the case with such "cheating boyfriend" questions. If you lay all your cards on the table is he may get violent. Another possibility is he will be vindictive and not negotiate on the business. So, again, minimize the drama.

This shared business is the hard part. If at all possible I would try to buy out his half. If he won't sell you may just have to give him yours, as it sounds like he can't afford to pay anything for it. If he you have to let your half go to get out of this, then consider that a cost of doing business.

Is this for real?

I am going to take a really wild guess and say by "starting" an online business you mean you invested money in his online business idea. Am I close?

You are in his trick bag con job. $5K plus a PI plus the business, I figure you are in about $10K. Am I close here?

Just do not answer any calls nor agree to see him. Cut your losses in the "online business" and move on with your life. He will find another meal ticket.

And next time a guy says "I'm getting a divorce" tell him to call you when it is finalized and he has his own place.

Gee, what a reputable guy to be a partner with. What debts is this business running up in your name that he hasn't told you about?

Obviously the two of you are having great sex; you certainly seem to enjoy getting screwed! LOL!

It sounds like you're worried that he's going to react badly when you cut things off. Cut your losses. Let him have everything and get out of there.

Call it an expensive lesson learned.

Quote: MrV

Obviously the two of you are having great sex; you certainly seem to enjoy getting screwed! LOL!

That was totally uncalled for.

Quote: DJTeddyBear

That was totally uncalled for.

Oh, please.

The OP is obviously trolling.

"Her" first post on a Las Vegas gambling board, and what kind of nonsense does "she" post?

You've been had.

If you've paid any attention at all, you know that for whatever silly reason, this board attracts people looking for relationship advice.

I stand by my comment.

Quote: MrV

Oh, please.

The OP is obviously trolling.

"Her" first post on a Las Vegas gambling board, and what kind of nonsense does "she" post?

You've been had.

Why would anyone sign up to this board and make up a story and wait for comments? And why would a guy do it pretending to be a female?

Quote: FinsRule

Why would anyone sign up to this board and make up a story and wait for comments? And why would a guy do it pretending to be a female?

Dude, where did you grow up, in a cave?

Quote: DJTeddyBear

If you've paid ant attention at all, you know that for whatever silly reason, this board attracts people looking for relationship advice.

I stand by my comment.

That's true. For every one that makes it to the forum, ten are sent to me by Email.

That makes no sense.

This is a gambling board.

The lonely hearts, the broken hearted, the dazed and confused ... they'll always have craigslist.com's "rants and raves."

Quote: MrV

This is a gambling board.

I thought it was a Spanish language board.

Quote: MrV

That makes no sense.
This is a gambling board.

We could always start giving out gambling advice on relationship questions.

It is possible to "get had" with a fake post alright, but I think this one is for real.

I second the advice to just cut your losses. You'll never see any money and if you cut him off from your money and your affections he will slowly disappear. Yep, I know about stalkers, but I don't think he fits the profile.

Quote: FleaStiff

I thought it was a Spanish language board.

Top Threads as of today:

1. Spanish word of the Day
2. Craps Strategy Investment
3. There is No G-D
4. The hoax that is the 1.41%
5. Celebrate Religion Here

Even the ones that are about gambling are crap.

I didn't grow up in a cave. There just isn't much I lose by responding to an advice thread... If the person made it up, I lost 60 seconds of my life that I would have just spent on a different website. So why assume the person is making it up?

Quote: FinsRule

I didn't grow up in a cave. There just isn't much I lose by responding to an advice thread... If the person made it up, I lost 60 seconds of my life that I would have just spent on a different website. So why assume the person is making it up?

The "grow up in a cave" reference was based on your asking why a man would possibly want to post as a woman on a message board: based on what I have read elsewhere, this sort of thing is not particularly uncommon on the internet.

It is but one small part of a troll's repertoire.

I cannot provide the "reason" why anonymous internet posters sometimes pretend to be someone / something they are not, but it happens.

The OP does have a good story, however: it's got a good beat, you can dance to it: I'd give in an 86.

My advice: run for your life. Drop everything, pack up, and move away, far away. Close the internet business. Lose the investment. Run. Don't call him. Change your number. And GET AWAY.

How people can trust one who is cheating I'll never know. He's lied on numerous occasions and he has a restraining order. He's terrible with money. In short, he has the potential to be dangerous. All of the "redeeming qualities" - his large penis, the quality of his lovemaking, his tenderness, "whatever", should easily be overshadowed by the fact that he is lying and cheating, not only to his wife, the mother of one or more of his children, and you.

There are plenty of men out there with "redeeming qualities" without the lying, cheating, emotional and financial baggage out there. You can do better.

Quote: P90

We could always start giving out gambling advice on relationship questions.

This is the probably the best idea yet. There's a (relatively) famous picture on the internet:

It's gone around for years. Now, I don't know if it's fake or not, but perhaps this is the best way to approach these types of questions.

So, in answer to the OP: Quit playing the roulette wheel.

Odds are 100% you need to dump the jerk and not look back.

Quote: konceptum

This is the probably the best idea yet. There's a (relatively) famous picture on the internet:

It's gone around for years. Now, I don't know if it's fake or not, but perhaps this is the best way to approach these types of questions.

So, in answer to the OP: Quit playing the roulette wheel.

LMFAO. Read this to the wife just now and had a big laugh.

John should have asked what year, make and model: heck, does it have a carburetor, or is it fuel injected?

He should have asked what the weather was like; if it was raining, water could have gotten into the distributor and caused the problem.

I'd suspect a failing fuel pump relay before focusing on a bad a fuel pump.

John shouldn't give half-assed answers to women on his advice column: before you tell a woman what to do, you need to know what she's driving.