What are Your Absolute Deal-Breakers?
Quote: HotBlondeAnd I think the Wizard would approve!! He's always telling me to go for an accountant, not a drummer. So, do I get your approval Wizard??
No, I don't approve. The man is fine, but I don't approve of holding out for a billionaire when a simple millionaire should suffice. This is like me asking if you approve of me going after Brenda Song. Sorry, a woman like that is out of my league, in fact about a thousand leagues. You should be setting realistic goals.
Also, consider the mathematics of the singles scene. Men are generally attracted to younger women, and women to older men. That leaves a glut of young men and older women on the singles market. I say cast your net where the fish are -- at YOUNGER men.
Well first of all I just found out that Kevin O'Leary is a billionaire and my attraction to him was not based on that at all. Notice I didn't even mention it. I just think he's sexy and he gives off a good vibe to me.Quote: WizardNo, I don't approve. The man is fine, but I don't approve of holding out for a billionaire when a simple millionaire should suffice. This is like me asking if you approve of me going after Brenda Song. Sorry, a woman like that is out of my league, in fact about a thousand leagues. You should be setting realistic goals.
Also, consider the mathematics of the singles scene. Men are generally attracted to younger women, and women to older men. That leaves a glut of young men and older women on the singles market. I say cast your net where the fish are -- at YOUNGER men.
And your last comment didn't make sense. If "Men are generally attracted to younger women" then why should I go for younger men? Wouldn't it be to my advantage to go for an older man? I would feel more desired and I'd be less likely to be cheated on.
Quote: HotBlondeAnd your last comment didn't make sense. If "Men are generally attracted to younger women" then why should I go for younger men? Wouldn't it be to my advantage to go for an older man? I would feel more desired and I'd be less likely to be cheated on.
I hope you don't really believe that statement, because that is seriously delusional.
Quote: HotBlondeWell I'm 34 so that would make Kevin O'Leary almost 40 years older than me. He doesn't look that old. But I do have to say that I am also very, very highly attracted to Larry David and he just turned 64 years old. I would marry him in a second. He puts a permanent smile on my face. He's so damn lovable!
63-34=29 year gap.
He's on Dragon's Den up here in the great white North (I assume he's Canadian) and takes the role of the aggressive, dismissive vulture capitalist in the group of investors. He also as a business/politics show here as well. Not seen Shark Tank, so not sure if the format is slightly different.
Good luck.. I think he's married. Brett Wilson also on Dragons Den Canada seems a much nicer fellow.
Quote: HotBlondeAnd your last comment didn't make sense. If "Men are generally attracted to younger women" then why should I go for younger men? Wouldn't it be to my advantage to go for an older man? I would feel more desired and I'd be less likely to be cheated on.
No. Rich older men are high in demand. They know they have all the bargaining power. I think any rich and older man who is single is probably playing the field, reliving his youth, and will have no compunction to dump you as soon as boredom sets in. There will be no shortage of young models to take your place.
Meanwhile young men, especially those on the shy/nerdy side (like me), know they have little bargaining power on the singles market and are grateful to get anybody, and will likely stick by them.
Um, I was being serious. How is this delusional?Quote: pacomartinI hope you don't really believe that statement, because that is seriously delusional.
I think he's married too but I wasn't actually planning on pursuing him. I was just saying that I thought he was sexy. He looks like he'd tear me up in bed and I like that. Now Larry David, on the other hand, I would be more likely to pursue (or find a way to actually meet him). Larry's actually single. I don't go after married men.Quote: thecesspit63-34=29 year gap.
He's on Dragon's Den up here in the great white North (I assume he's Canadian) and takes the role of the aggressive, dismissive vulture capitalist in the group of investors. He also as a business/politics show here as well. Not seen Shark Tank, so not sure if the format is slightly different.
Good luck.. I think he's married. Brett Wilson also on Dragons Den Canada seems a much nicer fellow.
I had thought that when you said younger you meant younger than me which would mean some guy in his 20's which is very unappealing to me. And the "shy/nerdy" guys do have little bargaining power, you're right, but that would make them way less desireable to me. Doesn't each person have to bring something to the table in a relationship? What would a guy like that have to offer me? (And sorry, I hope I'm not insulting you but since you're married this hopefully shouldn't offend you.)Quote: WizardNo. Rich older men are high in demand. They know they have all the bargaining power. I think any rich and older man who is single is probably playing the field, reliving his youth, and will have no compunction to dump you as soon as boredom sets in. There will be no shortage of young models to take your place.
Meanwhile young men, especially those on the shy/nerdy side (like me), know they have little bargaining power on the singles market and are grateful to get anybody, and will likely stick by them.
Quote: HotBlondeI had thought that when you said younger you meant younger than me which would mean some guy in his 20's which is very unappealing to me. And the "shy/nerdy" guys do have little bargaining power, you're right, but that would make them way less desireable to me. Doesn't each person have to bring something to the table in a relationship? What would a guy like that have to offer me? (And sorry, I hope I'm not insulting you but since you're married this hopefully shouldn't offend you.)
Women have been blowing me off my whole life, I can take it. I'm not staying that I'm any great catch, but there are so many great eligible men out there that are a bit on the shy side or have some nerdy tenancies that the women of American completely shun or treat like crap.
About age, this guy is 29 years older. When it comes to marriage you should be thinking LONG term. Given that women tend to outlive men by about five years, you would be looking at being a widow for 34 years. Yes, you could remarry, but for single women, your desirability quotient gets worse with each passing day after some point around age 30. With this particular guy you would inherit a billion dollars at least. True, young guys aren't as rich as older guys. However, they will take longer to die on you. Find a hard-working young guy, with a good education, and good character and I'll bet he will be rich too in time. If an older guy is single, well, there is probably some reason for it. Maybe he is an asshole who puts on a good show at first and/or has loyalty problems. These are all generalities, of course. I just think your odds of getting a good man are better with young men.
Yes, everyone should bring something to the table. It seems like from your original post the only guys who would pass your many litmus tests would be a 1 in 1,000 great catch. If you're a 1 in 1,000 gal, great, you should set your standards that high. I'm just saying examine what YOU put bring to table and go for somebody who can call your ante.
Quote: Wizard
About age, this guy is 29 years older. ... Given that women tend to outlive men by about five years, you would be looking at being a widow for 34 years. With this particular guy you would inherit a billion dollars at least.
I think being a billionaire's widow is her goal. Isn't it every woman's goal? I know it was my ex-wife's. She was always remarking on who she thought might be the richest man in the room, or the restaurant, or among our neighbors. We rented a 3-br house on the water in Washington State with panoramic views of the Cascades for three years, and our landlord lived on the property next door (actually a 1/4 mile walk). She was always lusting after him even though he was out-of-shape, married and 20 years older.
Quote: zippyboyI think being a billionaire's widow is her goal... I know it was my ex-wife's.
That would give me a funny feeling
A great many rich wives want to become rich widows rather than rich divorcees. I think the ones who actually choose to make that journey are careful to not let their rich hubby suspect anything.Quote: zippyboyI think being a billionaire's widow is her goal. Isn't it every woman's goal? I know it was my ex-wife's.
Quote: matildaI think that all males, must be over sixty, who write on this board should post pictures of themselves and Ms Hotblond can make an informed choice.
Although taken, here is a photo of Doc.
Quote: matildaI think that all males, must be over sixty, who write on this board should post pictures of themselves and Ms Hotblond can make an informed choice.
Sure, no problem.
That's when I was younger, I look like this now:
Let me just say I can handle someone who is kinda nerdy (if you remember my "great sex guy" was kinda nerdy) but the shy part would be hard for me to be attracted to. As Patti says, someone like that gives off feminine energy and to me shyness shows great insecurities - and aren't women looking for security? But Wizard you don't seem too shy.Quote: WizardWomen have been blowing me off my whole life, I can take it. I'm not staying that I'm any great catch, but there are so many great eligible men out there that are a bit on the shy side or have some nerdy tenancies that the women of American completely shun or treat like crap.
You make some good points. Ok so maybe Kevin O'Leary is not the best example but I'm just so attracted to him. But I do have to tell you guys that even though most guys are into a "perfect body"-type woman, muscular and buff men do not turn me on. If a guy is too "cut" I could find myself not attracted to him. Some muscle can be ok and attractive but I will never be one to buy a "buff firemen" calendar as I think those kind of bodies are overkill. Barf.Quote: WizardAbout age, this guy is 29 years older. When it comes to marriage you should be thinking LONG term. Given that women tend to outlive men by about five years, you would be looking at being a widow for 34 years. Yes, you could remarry, but for single women, your desirability quotient gets worse with each passing day after some point around age 30. With this particular guy you would inherit a billion dollars at least. True, young guys aren't as rich as older guys. However, they will take longer to die on you. Find a hard-working young guy, with a good education, and good character and I'll bet he will be rich too in time. If an older guy is single, well, there is probably some reason for it. Maybe he is an asshole who puts on a good show at first and/or has loyalty problems. These are all generalities, of course. I just think your odds of getting a good man are better with young men.
I have to say that I'm not perfect in any way. Even though guys like girls with bangin' bodies my body is pretty far from being in bikini shape (but some guys actually like my body), I tend to get overwhelmed and depressed sometimes, and my career is up in the air right now, but I do think I'm attractive, I have a college education, I'm inquisitive and I always love to learn things, I'm fun to be around, and I have a good heart with lots of love and compassion and do I my best to be responsible and a person of integrity.Quote: WizardYes, everyone should bring something to the table. It seems like from your original post the only guys who would pass your many litmus tests would be a 1 in 1,000 great catch. If you're a 1 in 1,000 gal, great, you should set your standards that high. I'm just saying examine what YOU put bring to table and go for somebody who can call your ante.
Haha, this is funny. I can say it's not my goal to be a billionaire's widow. I wouldn't want to marry someone just so they could die and leave me their money. On the flip side I often find myself wishing that I had a huge chunk of change in my bank account so that I can concentrate 100% on my music career right now but wouldn't want to marry someone just to be in that position. So if any of you would like to help support or donate to my music career without having to marry me and die please inquire within.Quote: zippyboyI think being a billionaire's widow is her goal. Isn't it every woman's goal? I know it was my ex-wife's. She was always remarking on who she thought might be the richest man in the room, or the restaurant, or among our neighbors. We rented a 3-br house on the water in Washington State with panoramic views of the Cascades for three years, and our landlord lived on the property next door (actually a 1/4 mile walk). She was always lusting after him even though he was out-of-shape, married and 20 years older.
Haha. I am actually very attracted to Brad Pitt as well.Quote: MoscaSure, no problem.
That's when I was younger, I look like this now:
But given that you want amazing sex, it's likely that you'll leave your partner after a few years anyway as the sex does indeed get less exciting over time -- no avoiding that, unfortunatley.
I still think that your standards are too high given all of the posts in this thread that I've seen.
Quote: HotBlondeUm, I was being serious. How is this delusional?
I know you were being serious. But the last person you would expect to be faithful is an older man who has already raised a family and has lots of money and power. In my experience these guys are gone once the younger woman talks about wishing she had children or if someone different comes along. They are very uninterested in monogamy.
Shopgirl was a good romantic comedy about a younger woman (Claire Danes) who takes up with a charming rich older man (Steve Martin) because she is frustrated with what she perceives as men who are aimless losers that are her own age (Jason Schwartzman). Steve Martin is 33 years older than Claire Danes.
A critical point in the movie was that she immediately tells her friends the relationship is serious and long term, and he tells his friends that it is casual and just for fun.
Quote: WizardI'm just saying examine what YOU put bring to table and go for somebody who can call your ante.
Wow, you get the prize for statement of the day. I don't know
any single women who do this, and I know a bunch. My daughter
is 30 and single and has a ton (literally) of single girlfriends in
their 30's. Every one of them is overweight and has horribly
distorted expectations and views on what they 'deserve' in a man.
They all want a variation of either Brad Pitt or Orlando Bloom. I'm
not joking. They all set their sights so high because every one of
them is terrified of intimacy. They're terrified of being rejected. So
they hang out together, go on vacations together, go on weekend
trips, bad mouth men, and eat too much. And dream of the perfect
man who will never come along.
Reminds me of the movie Picnic, made in 1955. The old maid school
teacher is now in her late 40's and is realizing Mr Perfect is never
arriving, so she 'settles' for the guy she should have married 15 years
ago, and ends up happy for doing so.
I know one woman who married a man she neither loved nor respected simply because she was approaching that big milestone: 40. How happy did she expect to be? For how long?
Quote: FleaStiff
How happy did she expect to be? For how long?
People put way too much pressure on relationships to be everything
that makes them happy these days. Just find somebody you reasonably
get along with, thats all you can ask. In a year you'll be totally bored
no matter who you marry. Find things outside the marriage to keep
you busy and interested. Thats what people used to do.
Quote: HotBlondeI wouldn't want to marry someone just so they could die and leave me their money.
I would, but they'd have to promise to die immediately after the wedding.
Reason and matters of the heart don't go together very well. Just the other day, I read that people in love overestimate their partners good points and diminish their bad ones. Which I already knew, I'm pretty sure.
Source: http://www.barkeranimation.com/images/Temp_DB/065/6570.jpg
I don't understand this picture. Sorry, sometimes I can be a dumb blonde too.Quote: WizardSaw this poster and thought of HB.
Source: http://www.barkeranimation.com/images/Temp_DB/065/6570.jpg
I would be curious if Hot Blonde thinks that this marriage will suffer. The couple went on a New Year's Eve diet in January of this year. He has managed to lose 200 pounds in only ten months (he is age 30).
It is kind of an extreme case of the frustration that women feel when they go on a diet with their spouse/boyfriend.
I don't get it. He lost weight and she didn't?Quote: pacomartin
I would be curious if Hot Blonde thinks that this marriage will suffer. The couple went on a New Year's Eve diet in January of this year. He has managed to lose 200 pounds in only ten months (he is age 30).
It is kind of an extreme case of the frustration that women feel when they go on a diet with their spouse/boyfriend.
Some men accept what they get others make an issue of it.
Update?Quote: EvenBobI know how this works, I have a 30 year old
daughter who hasn't had a boyfriend in
5 years. The older she gets, the more the
fantasy of what she'll settle for in a man
increases. He has to be all the things listed
above and more. She hangs out with
her girlfriends who aren't married and they
go to movies and hockey games and go
to each other houses and bake brownies
and cookies all the time and sit around
while their butts get bigger, and complain
about why they can't find the man of their
dreams. I'm convinced she'll never find
anybody, she doesn't really want to give up
the girlfriend-fun-and fudge lifestyle.
Should we perhaps discuss the absolutely best longevity factor there is? Its one that lowers cholesterol, lowers blood pressure also, and I mean by VERY substantial amounts, not some statistical smidgen.
its partaking of a sauna more than four times a week, and please understand that a sauna is an experience that involves the ingestion of traditional sausages, beer and is NOT a solitary experience nor one in which any clothes are worn. A Finnish sauna house will have a bench for those who arrive alone and wish to await the arrival of a suitable companion.
Now is it the heat? the cold? or the sex that has such healthful results?
This might make some people adjust their selection criteria.
True, and that 'later" can be quite some time so it often turns out that red flags get ignored.Quote: SOOPOODuring a dating process many things can be hidden or misleading to attract the other person, then the 'real' person shows later.
Quote: SlotKing89Im happily married but lying ( even white lies) is a deal breaker for me.
I don't have a problem with some small white lies to the wife. When we got engaged she moved in with me and one night early on she asked me if I had slept with a girl that was a close friend of mine that she was jealous of. Normally I would have lied and said no, but this was a huge moment for me and I decided I couldn't start the marriage with that type of a lie. It probably only took me five seconds to answer but it felt like an eternity as I contemplated all of the possible scenarios that me answering could cause. Finally I told her the truth. Today that girl is my wife's best friend.
"Must not have bipolar disorder, nor Borderline Personality Disorder."
"Money management: Must be responsible with spending decisions."
"i feel happy when I'm with her."
"Someone I can respect." (because I respect myself.)
"someone who is excited about being with me." (because laying siege to a reluctant or undecided woman is -EV and usually a miserable experience.)
Non-smoker (when I was single, I'd date a smoker, but not for a long-term relationship.)
____________________
Regarding honesty: there are two components, Truthfulness and Candor and two timeframes : What's happened in the past, and what is happening now or in the future. Lying about the past is less important to me. I know that my wife will sometimes not tell me about something going on in the present with a member of our immediate or extended family because:
- she doesn't want me to judge the person harshly (however much they might deserve it)
- she thinks that my involvement in the matter will not be helpful.
I am not thrilled with her keeping those things from me, but she is otherwise honest and loyal. I am not perfect either. Marriage involves compromise.
