What are Your Absolute Deal-Breakers?

Quote: EvenBob

I know how this works, I have a 30 year old
daughter who hasn't had a boyfriend in
5 years. The older she gets, the more the
fantasy of what she'll settle for in a man
increases. He has to be all the things listed
above and more. She hangs out with
her girlfriends who aren't married and they
go to movies and hockey games and go
to each other houses and bake brownies
and cookies all the time and sit around
while their butts get bigger, and complain
about why they can't find the man of their
dreams. I'm convinced she'll never find
anybody, she doesn't really want to give up
the girlfriend-fun-and fudge lifestyle.

Update?

Just to send this thread on a different tack...

Should we perhaps discuss the absolutely best longevity factor there is? Its one that lowers cholesterol, lowers blood pressure also, and I mean by VERY substantial amounts, not some statistical smidgen.

its partaking of a sauna more than four times a week, and please understand that a sauna is an experience that involves the ingestion of traditional sausages, beer and is NOT a solitary experience nor one in which any clothes are worn. A Finnish sauna house will have a bench for those who arrive alone and wish to await the arrival of a suitable companion.

Now is it the heat? the cold? or the sex that has such healthful results?

This might make some people adjust their selection criteria.

Im happily married but lying ( even white lies) is a deal breaker for me.

Quote: SOOPOO

During a dating process many things can be hidden or misleading to attract the other person, then the 'real' person shows later.

True, and that 'later" can be quite some time so it often turns out that red flags get ignored.

Quote: SlotKing89

Im happily married but lying ( even white lies) is a deal breaker for me.

I don't have a problem with some small white lies to the wife. When we got engaged she moved in with me and one night early on she asked me if I had slept with a girl that was a close friend of mine that she was jealous of. Normally I would have lied and said no, but this was a huge moment for me and I decided I couldn't start the marriage with that type of a lie. It probably only took me five seconds to answer but it felt like an eternity as I contemplated all of the possible scenarios that me answering could cause. Finally I told her the truth. Today that girl is my wife's best friend.

Hard Criteria (Partial List)

"Must not have bipolar disorder, nor Borderline Personality Disorder."

"Money management: Must be responsible with spending decisions."

"i feel happy when I'm with her."

"Someone I can respect." (because I respect myself.)

"someone who is excited about being with me." (because laying siege to a reluctant or undecided woman is -EV and usually a miserable experience.)

Non-smoker (when I was single, I'd date a smoker, but not for a long-term relationship.)
____________________

Regarding honesty: there are two components, Truthfulness and Candor and two timeframes : What's happened in the past, and what is happening now or in the future. Lying about the past is less important to me. I know that my wife will sometimes not tell me about something going on in the present with a member of our immediate or extended family because:
- she doesn't want me to judge the person harshly (however much they might deserve it)
- she thinks that my involvement in the matter will not be helpful.
I am not thrilled with her keeping those things from me, but she is otherwise honest and loyal. I am not perfect either. Marriage involves compromise.