Hello, I'm not a new user to WOV forums despite my small post count. I do a lot of lurking.
Let me start with myself, I'm a 22 year old employed college student living with my parents in henderson, NV, living here with my family since I was 14 years old. I make $10.50 at my job/hr, and this is my story:
I've dreamed of my 21st birthday. The day I could finally experience Vegas in its entirety. The night I turned 21 I showed up at a local dive casino at 12:10 AM at the craps table. I put my first passline bet down and felt nothing but bliss, despite winning or losing.....
Fast forward a few months later; Because I live in the Las Vegas area a casino is always arms length away. I'm recklessly gambling 5+ days a week, with no end in sight. Gambling is bliss. I forget about all of my problems and obligations as long as I have money either in my machine or on the passline.
I always prided myself on only making the very best bets the casino offered. I play exclusively 100%+ VP or Craps passline/don't with odds. I would chuckle to myself at the craps table as the "suckers" made proposition bet after proposition bet, when I was playing the minimum line bet with whatever odds I deemed fit.
But I soon realized that I was just a bad of a sucker as they was, simply grinding away with the same bets, allowing the house edge to reap my bankroll. But I didn't care. I was always chasing the next big streak at the craps table, or the next FOUR DEUCES win. If I lost $200, that means I was due to win at least $150 of it back since I was only making 1.36% HE Don't Pass bets. If I lost $300 playing FPDW, that would mean I was soon due to hit four deuces for $250 and then a big bunch of wild royals since I was playing a 100% payback machine.
So that brings me to today: I'm gambling 5+ days a week, going through huge bankroll swings. I decided at the end of last year that I really needed to be honest with myself and keep a logue of my gambling wins/losses. For the year of 2016, I'm only down about $1,200, which really isn't that bad considering its been 8 months of compulsive gambling. But the thing is, the addiction is growing. I'm needing to bet more and more. When I first turned 21, a $50 loss was upsetting. Now, a $50 loss is nothing. But, It's been very well documented how broke millennial college students are, and I fit right in with that demographic. I really should be only gambling a few times a month, if AT ALL. Period.
But it hasn't all gone to hell yet. I still have a few thousand in my bank accounts and am not in any debt, all still while maintaining a good college GPA and good standing with my employer. The only thing that I think saved me is that I am only playing 100% payback VP and Craps line bets w/odds. I don't touch anything with more than 2% HE. I still go through huge money swings, but the net effect is simply a small net loss on my minimum wage income.
I'm coming here to the WOV forums because I know I need help and I know I am among people who understand gambling: I don't feel comfortable talking with friends or family. None of my friends or family gamble and I guess I feel they would instantly demonize me as an addict loser and would just vilify me. I know someone who has lost everything (house, car, marriage, job) she once was proud of because of a gambling addiction, and I'll admit I'm not far off the course she was on. Today I picked up one of those "When the fun stops" pamphlets they have at the ATM machines in casinos. I want to attend some GA meetings as long as I can keep it on the down low from my friends and family until I feel I am ready to tell them.
Frankly, the reason I gamble is the classic textbook definition of addiction. I forget all about my problems and obligations as long as there is a bet on the passline, even though I know he's going to seven-out. And as soon as he seven-outs, I'm reaching into my pockets for more and more., chasing my losses blah blah blah until I'm broke as hell, driving home telling myself "I'm quitting gambling." But then I wake up the next day and the cycle repeats.
I know that sooner or later, as a part of the healing process, I will have to tell my friends and family. But where can I find anonymous help? I'm too embarrassed to ask anybody I know or casino personnel. I especially DO NOT want my employer finding out about this because I have never let gambling get in the way of doing my job properly; I understood that a well-paying job = a well funded gambling habit and as sick as it sounds, have gone over and above the call of duty at my job to voraciously push for a promotion so I can afford more gambling.
Thanks guys, I really enjoy this forum.
4) Become a don't pass player
5) Learn to throw the dice.