So there
Afterward I made a comment, half joking really "too bad we couldn't do that for real", she responded with "who says we can't", I was speechless. She was the sexiest one in there that night. So a little later, she came back and sat next to me, I brought up the point again, and we exchanged numbers. I walked out thinking did that just happen. It's seemed so strange, and I didn't know what to think of it.
So we exchanged some texts on Saturday, and we have plans for lunch and a movie this coming Thursday. Because this girl seems way out of my league. So I'm just thinking there must be some kind of catch. I mean there must be a catch, right?
So has anything like this ever happened to anyone else? It just seems strange that this girl would want to date a customer. And she's the one that suggested the movie, and she's the one that actually called it a date.
But that's usually how it works with the girls you consider in your league anyway, right?
Just don't end up broke with an STD. Highly doubt you are her only boyfriend/sugar daddy/john/victim...
A friend of mine, one that I trust to embellish but not flat out lie, went home and hooked up with a stripper. I do not know if extra money was involved or whatnot, he's a pretty smooth guy.
Seeing as all of the other comments will probably be "run away now" - just wanted to give you a little hope. Are you sure you didn't have something very obvious showing that said "I have money!"?
They prey on stupid men for money. Don't be that guy who thinks the stripper "really likes him"...she likes you only as far as your wallet will stretch. But I could be wrong, you guys could make the perfect couple. NOT. Again, I implore you... don't be that guy.
Quote: vendman1OK..no disrespect intended, I don't know you at all....but are you out of your f***in mind?....As a general rule, strippers are not interested in dating you..EVER!!
They prey on stupid men for money. Don't be that guy who thinks the stripper "really likes him"...she likes you only as far as your wallet will stretch. But I could be wrong, you guys could make the perfect couple. NOT. Again, I implore you... don't be that guy.
GOLD!!!!!!
Let's put it this way: you can't strip forever. It's a pretty short-term deal. And I doubt most strippers can save up enough in their prime time to pay for a long and healthy retirement. They need an exit strategy. At some point, they need to meet real people and have real relationships. It is possible that she is on her way out and liked how you treated her.
Of course, it is also possible it's a long con. You have to tread carefully, and I wouldn't take her back to your place for a while if you have anything valuable there. But if she seems generally interested in you (and not in a overtly, fawning manner), then you have a real shot. She may turn out to be dim and a good time in the sack, so that could be fun. She may turn out to be a Master's student just paying the bills, and you may have gotten real lucky.
The cynics will tell you she is after your money. Real women are after your heart, mind, time and money.
I say go for it. Be careful, of course, but don't sell yourself short. You are probably a very nice guy who will treat her well.
Quote: ewjones080Last Thursday I went to the strip club. When I walked in, one of them walked up to me and said she knew me, that I had been in there a couple months ago. I didn't remember. We chatted a bit, and not "stripper talk" either. Then did a private dance, two songs. At this location it's not a like a traditional lapdance, where they do everything, it's a bit of a two way street. Let's just say I had some ice and wasn't afraid to use it.
Afterward I made a comment, half joking really "too bad we couldn't do that for real", she responded with "who says we can't", I was speechless. She was the sexiest one in there that night. So a little later, she came back and sat next to me, I brought up the point again, and we exchanged numbers. I walked out thinking did that just happen. It's seemed so strange, and I didn't know what to think of it.
So we exchanged some texts on Saturday, and we have plans for lunch and a movie this coming Thursday. Because this girl seems way out of my league. So I'm just thinking there must be some kind of catch. I mean there must be a catch, right?
So has anything like this ever happened to anyone else? It just seems strange that this girl would want to date a customer. And she's the one that suggested the movie, and she's the one that actually called it a date.
love the title.
where was the strip club?
were you there at the strip club 2 months ago?
i was in vegas for my buddies bachelors party. somneone in the group was in vegas 6months prior and went to spearment rhino. we went there for the bachelor party.
a stripper approached the person who was there 6months ago and commented on him being there 6months ago w/details. that friend was VERY impressed.
anyway, back to your story OP, it's not improbable that the stripper remembered you 2 months ago *IF* you were there 2months ago.
and when u said "too bad we couldn't do that for real" i expected a $250 romp when she went on break or got off work.
the twist of you actually going out w/her on a real date is WTF!!???!?
keep us updated!
One caution is to stay away from the mostly unsavory hangers-on who frequent the strip clubs. The wanna-be boyfriends and loser drunk guys can be trouble.
Hey--maybe you have swag you didn't know you had!
She may be for real or playing you. Remember if she sleeps with you fast she will sleep with anybody fast. You are not special.
Play it easy. Do not visit the club if you start seeing her. Ever. Agree with poster who said the hang around boyfriends are bad news.
If you want to continue with this girl, I urge you let her do all the talking. Don't tell her she's beautiful, she hears that all day, every day. Keep your mouth closed except to ask her questions and then continue with follow up questions, and listen to her answers. She's probably never dated a guy who didn't talk about himself all through the meal, or tell her how hot she is. Think of it as an interview; she's auditioning for a second date. When the date's over, you should know all there is to know about her and she should learn next to nothing about you. Keep sustained eye contact, not in a creepy way, but like you're mesmerized and can't look away. She probably doesn't encounter guys making eye contact too often and she'll think it's nice. Later when she tells her friends how it went, she'll remember that you listened to her with interest, and no one's ever treated her that way before. She'll want another date with you, this fascinating guy who'd not like all the rest.
Quote: zippyboyA movie is a horrible first date venue if you want to get to know this girl. Lunch is a good choice though, less threatening than dinner, and with less expectations following.
If you want to continue with this girl, I urge you let her do all the talking. Don't tell her she's beautiful, she hears that all day, every day. Keep your mouth closed except to ask her questions and then continue with follow up questions, and listen to her answers. She's probably never dated a guy who didn't talk about himself all through the meal, or tell her how hot she is. Think of it as an interview; she's auditioning for a second date. When the date's over, you should know all there is to know about her and she should learn next to nothing about you. Keep sustained eye contact, not in a creepy way, but like you're mesmerized and can't look away. She probably doesn't encounter guys making eye contact too often and she'll think it's nice. Later when she tells her friends how it went, she'll remember that you listened to her with interest, and no one's ever treated her that way before. She'll want another date with you, this fascinating guy who'd not like all the rest.
Fuck that. She's a stripper not the Queen of England. YOU GET IN THAT ASS, SON! Write "EWJONES was here" on the wall on your way out.
I didn't say anything that said I have money. She said she liked my leather jacket, then I told I got in on clearance for $20 (I don't think it's real leather..) Later on I even mentioned I'm trying to quit my job. But the fact that I've sent her a couple texts and called a couple times with no answer, leads me to suspect she's really not that interested in me... But the text exchange on Saturday seemed legit.
From talking to her, she seemed pretty normal. She's black, and she said she's into white guys. I said, I like dark skinned girls, but typically not attracted to, "dark skinned" black girls.
I suspect this to just fizzle out. But if not, I'll probably be asking a lot of questions on Thursday, to try to gauge her motivations.
The biggest worry, a friend of mine used to be a stripper. She met a guy there, and they dated for like two years. But she's the type of girl that get's around.. a lot. Nothing really wrong with that if it's a 3-4 guys in six months, as opposed to 3-4 guys a week..
Lol. This. I will say, though, that the exact same chain of events happened to one of my good friends, and the whole thing ended up being an enormous clusterfuck involving human trafficking criminals, immigration court, and an unlicensed Glock 22. So trod carefully, my friend...Quote: RogerKintFuck that. She's a stripper not the Queen of England. YOU GET IN THAT ASS, SON! Write "EWJONES was here" on the wall on your way out.
Quote: ewjones080So has anything like this ever happened to anyone else?
Yes.
Mine was a lady who was throwing out fishing lines on a regular basis. If you return to the club several times, she's the winner.
But, you know, it could be for real.
But I wouldn't bet on it.
Quote: RogerKintTap that ass, son! Wrap it twice though.
add bengay between the 1st and 2nd layer.
make her screams believeable :o
Is she really attracted to you rather than your wallet? Probably not.
Regulars can be good sources of income since many of them are "hobbyists" anyway and will spend money on the girls.
Maybe you were there earlier. Maybe she did remember you. She will make more money if she is alert.
I know one dancer in a Gentleman's Club who spoke several languages, knew music and art thoroughly and was quite well educated. She soon tired of the atmosphere since she had nothing in common with the other girls and too many of the men thought that just because she danced and flirted that she was automatically available to prostitution requests.
Statistically.... chances are she is simply trying to expand her income a bit by getting a phone number from several safe-looking guys who will pay her for sex without having to dance first.
Can you ask your stripper friend if she throws a lot of Hardways on the Craps table?
If you play the asshole card, play it with her, if you are the nice guy, play it that way.
I don't think you have any more or less chance of catching something from her than any other slut in the world. Stripper does not equal STD.
I would also think this was not an offer for prostitution. It could very well be a girl looking for deep pockets, but the fact she is a stripper does not make that any more or less likely. If she is going to make a sex for money play she will need to be either very good at "innocent" teasing and go in for the kill when your "little head" is doing the thinking late in the evening, or she will let you know pretty early on in the process and let you make up your mind before you waste your time.
Always remember, strippers are people too.
Quote: RogerKint
Fuck that. She's a stripper not the Queen of England. YOU GET IN THAT ASS, SON! Write "EWJONES was here" on the wall on your way out.
My vote for best post of 2012!!!! (yes, four ! )
It's a lot nicer getting blown in a movie theater without zipper rash...
Quote: rainmanI suggest poking a hole in the bottom of your popcorn tub hold it on your lap and let her reach in for the last handful.
I know I saw this happen in a movie, but can't remember which one. It may have been American Graffiti.
Quote: ewjones080But the fact that I've sent her a couple texts and called a couple times with no answer, leads me to suspect she's really not that interested in me... But the text exchange on Saturday seemed legit.
WRONG!!!
You should never, EVER, sent the first text of a day or make the first call unless you've been actually actively dating for at least a month. You have to make her think you have better things to do with your time than worry about some girl you just met, let her worry about you...initially.
I'll tell you about my experience dating a stripper...(Mission146 dated a WHAT!?)
Check it out: I met her at college, Park University in Kansas City, seemingly normal girl, Econ Major, like myself. In any event, we're in the same Intermediate Micro class, and both fashionably late on the first day, so end up next to each other in the last two remaining seats. Everything proceeded as normal and expected with respect to us exchanging numbers and going out three times.
Anyway, a friend of mine are in the Underground computer lab, and we get to kissing and telling (not kissing one another, of course) so he asks how things are going on my end. She was sitting on the other side of the room, so I nodded towards her and said, "Been out with her three times."
He said, "Cool, did you meet her at (name of strip club)?"
I replied, "No, because that would first require me to have ever set foot in there, why would you ask?"
"That's where she works."
"Oh, she bartends? Never asked her what she does."
"Bartends? Only if they serve milk, she's a dancer!"
"WHAT!?"
"Oh, you didn't know? You're a blessed man, she's got a great pair of (censored)!"
"WHAT!?"
Needless to say, I broke that off in a hurry.
On a serious note, strippers are not shy and "most" have dated a lot of guys.
Be careful with your money, heart, and wear a condom or just get a bj. Maybe wear one for that too.
Quote: bigpete88
Be careful with your money, heart, and wear a condom or just get a bj. Maybe wear one for that too.
Condoms do not protect against many STD's, and there are many that can be contracted via fellatio. HIV is one of them that condoms do protect against, however, it is also one that can be transmitted via fellatio. If you are going to do anything, yes, wear a condom and get a BJ, but know you are still rolling the dice, but there are many more single pips on these dice, making Snake Eyes a much more likely possibility.
Quote: WizardI know I saw this happen in a movie, but can't remember which one. It may have been American Graffiti.
Definitely from a movie. I can't remember the one, don't think its graffiti.
Quote: rainmanDefinitely from a movie. I can't remember the one, don't think its graffiti.
Nope its DINER
Quote: Maverick17treat the stripper the same way you normally treat any other girl you would go out with.
If you play the asshole card, play it with her, if you are the nice guy, play it that way.
I don't think you have any more or less chance of catching something from her than any other slut in the world. Stripper does not equal STD.
I would also think this was not an offer for prostitution. It could very well be a girl looking for deep pockets, but the fact she is a stripper does not make that any more or less likely. If she is going to make a sex for money play she will need to be either very good at "innocent" teasing and go in for the kill when your "little head" is doing the thinking late in the evening, or she will let you know pretty early on in the process and let you make up your mind before you waste your time.
Always remember, strippers are people too.
Agreed, dont be someone you are not. Women are more willing to "date down" looks wise if they perceive you to be of a higher social/economic status. Men are much more visually stimulated than women . Be confident and don't fawn over her looks, she knows she's hot. Compliment her on things that aren't looks related and are unique to her. Dont believe all the feminist bullshit about how much they just love nice guys.... you dont need a friend who is hot and will never bang you. There is certainly something she likes about you...find out what that is but keep the upper hand.
If she's a pro I got no advice for ya. Good luck
So anyway, stranger things have happened. Proceed with caution, etc. It's possible she's actually interested in you. I would reiterate what only a couple guys have said previously: if you want to see her again, DON'T go back to that club. If you go back there and keep giving her money, the lines have been blurred...
Quote: AcesAndEights
So anyway, stranger things have happened. Proceed with caution, etc. It's possible she's actually interested in you. I would reiterate what only a couple guys have said previously: if you want to see her again, DON'T go back to that club. If you go back there and keep giving her money, the lines have been blurred...
Well...
If the main goal is to get into her G-String, then he should go back there and give a DIFFERENT stripper money. Make her good and jealous.
Quote: Mission146WRONG!!!
You should never, EVER, sent the first text of a day or make the first call unless you've been actually actively dating for at least a month. You have to make her think you have better things to do with your time than worry about some girl you just met, let her worry about you...initially.
I'll tell you about my experience dating a stripper...(Mission146 dated a WHAT!?)
Check it out: I met her at college, Park University in Kansas City, seemingly normal girl, Econ Major, like myself. In any event, we're in the same Intermediate Micro class, and both fashionably late on the first day, so end up next to each other in the last two remaining seats. Everything proceeded as normal and expected with respect to us exchanging numbers and going out three times.
Anyway, a friend of mine are in the Underground computer lab, and we get to kissing and telling (not kissing one another, of course) so he asks how things are going on my end. She was sitting on the other side of the room, so I nodded towards her and said, "Been out with her three times."
He said, "Cool, did you meet her at (name of strip club)?"
I replied, "No, because that would first require me to have ever set foot in there, why would you ask?"
"That's where she works."
"Oh, she bartends? Never asked her what she does."
"Bartends? Only if they serve milk, she's a dancer!"
"WHAT!?"
"Oh, you didn't know? You're a blessed man, she's got a great pair of (censored)!"
"WHAT!?"
Needless to say, I broke that off in a hurry.
I was going to say that in my eyes this reflects poorly on you...but I guess I can't hold it against you if you don't want to date a stripper. I don't think I would have immediately broken it off as you did, but I understand that could weigh heavily in your criteria of a woman.
Quote: AcesAndEightsI was going to say that in my eyes this reflects poorly on you...but I guess I can't hold it against you if you don't want to date a stripper. I don't think I would have immediately broken it off as you did, but I understand that could weigh heavily in your criteria of a woman.
I appreciate your open-mindedness as it relates my perspective.
I will say that if she and I had already fornicated, at that point, then I maybe would have reluctantly given it a shot. She seemed to be an otherwise decent person. However, no such fornication had occurred, and thus, I really had no need to expose myself to what I felt was a higher risk of STD's with someone who was, quite possibly, also a prostitute. Probability of Good Sex (Expressed as a decimal) * Possibility of STD (Expressed as a Decimal) * 3 - Chance She Could be the One < .40 = Go for it!
I'll be honest, I was also kind of pissed that I'm there after three dates trying to take a good lead-off on second base, and probably 100 guys in that two week period had essentially rounded third, and assuming they limited their number of lap dances...they did it more cheaply than me just rounding First!!!
I'd like to think she's not prostituting herself, because 1) she wouldn't have suggested a movie 2) she would've tried to get it done already, like have it done on Friday or Saturday. I'd also like to think she's not looking for a sugar daddy, because I think I didn't do enough to suggest I have a lot of money (which I don't). But, again, I've barely communicated with her since then, and besides setting up the date, I would just think she's just not interested. On the other hand, she might be a lot busier than I think (she said she had a second job at Wal-Mart)
I did also asked if she was LEGITIMATELY interested in "hanging out sometime". Who knows if she got my meaning from that, but I was hoping to discretely ask if it was "for real" or "just a hook up" kinda thing.
In case you haven't noticed, opportunities like this don't occur very often for me, and when they do, I usually find a way to blow it, so that's why I feel like I need to walk on egg shells so to speak......
In college there was this sexy Lebonese girl that sent a few pretty strong signals to me. Finally we managed to set up a date at the Barnes&Noble coffee shop. She grabbed a Cosmo and was leafing through it, found an add for a vibrator, pointed and said "Mine broke" and kind of giggled. I just smirked and nodded, and not til afterward thought "I shoulda said: 'Oh so you need some help then?' God dammit" .. That's just one example of maybe ten or so blown opportunities.
Quote: ewjones080
I'd like to think she's not prostituting herself, because 1) she wouldn't have suggested a movie 2) she would've tried to get it done already, like have it done on Friday or Saturday. I'd also like to think she's not looking for a sugar daddy, because I think I didn't do enough to suggest I have a lot of money (which I don't). But, again, I've barely communicated with her since then, and besides setting up the date, I would just think she's just not interested. On the other hand, she might be a lot busier than I think (she said she had a second job at Wal-Mart)
To recap, it is possible she is serious about likeing you. Stripping is a way for a good-looking woman to make enough to put herself through college or buy a house young and get set up for life. Some look at it as a job, they like to dance and like attention so why not make some cash? Some women take this a step further and become higher-end call girls for the same reason. Make some money fast. BTW: Not every woman can be the later as guys who hire an escort to take somewhere want someone with some social manners and conversation over dinner first.
I have heard of strippers saying they are "tired of being treated like a whore." Not just strippers, plenty of hot women actually get attracted to the guy who does not hit on them. That one happend to me in college. I was at a party, recovering from a kidney stone. Girl asks why I look so glum. I tell her and talk a few minutes. I seriously didn't give her any thought. Next week we end up at a party back at her place, and she is asking me to sit near her and her friends are telling me she likes me. I am still a bit ill and she still has a BF. My buddies are amazed, so am I. Too much game playing though. One night she supposedly "went to break it off with her boyfriend" and her friends suggested I wait. After a few hours I go home. This is end of semester and next she does not come back--KNOCKED UP! I dodged a bullet there. Sorry to get off the subject to remenise.
Anyways, she may be nice and sincere. She may be earning more a non-college educated woman than she can at Red Lobster. She may not be dating 10 guys. But she IS a stripper. She does take her clothes off and rub against any guy with money. And she pays the owner of the club for her concession.
Caveat Emptor.
Quote: ewjones080
In case you haven't noticed, opportunities like this don't occur very often for me, and when they do, I usually find a way to blow it, so that's why I feel like I need to walk on egg shells so to speak......
Goddamnit, man, where is your confidence!?
If you ain't got confidence, you ain't got nothin', including a stripper girlfriend! First of all, you don't find a way to blow it, THEY find a way not to take advantage of a good opportunity!!!
You need to not worry about walking on eggshells, that's your first problem. The size of your physical penis is immaterial...for now...but you have to have a big metaphorical penis. This entails acting as though you have confidence, whereas, tip-toeing on eggshells is not a ggood example. You CRUSH those eggshells, step with a heavy foot, forge the path.
And, guess what, if you don't know what to do in a situation...do nothing!
That's right, just wait for her to take the initiative. You have to be calm, cool, collected, f***ing above it, man. Above it. Look at yourself in the mirror in the morning, and say, "I am above it." Do it until you are actually above it. The politics of dating and niceties of establishing a relationship are beneath you, relationships establish themselves if they are going to happen.
I'm not saying to be an @$$hole, I'm not saying to be cocky, I'm saying to be cool, brother. DO NOT PURSUE. Are you sending the first text of the day? That's pursuing, did you send two texts in a row? Even worse. Next thing you'll know you will be recognized and regarded by one and all as a stalker, it doesn't take much to be labelled a stalker these days!
Screw that.
She texts you first or not at all, for at least a month. You NEVER send two texts in a row, you NEVER call her twice in a row, you NEVER leave a message, the politics of leaving a phone message are so passe and beneath you. If she wanted to know what you have to say, then she should have answered the phone. Since she did not answer, she'll find out what you wanted when she calls back.
Why tell her what you were calling for in a message? Why would she call you back if she already knows what yoy want? You have to be intriguing, and part of being intriguing is to be f*&%$$ing aloof. Not cocky, aloof, fine line, find it.
A woman isn't just her job. In the 80s everyone thought that all the girls who waited tables in one place I worked was a cokehead, and I never touched the stuff. Then a guy asked me to go to a baseball game, and we ended up married. He understood what I was all about. I think it turned out rather well, myself...
On the other hand, if your goal is just to have someone to "hook up" with on an occasional basis, I say go for it. What's holding you back?
On a related side note, I have a friend, an older gentleman, who routinely picks up strippers at the clubs. He is in no way delusional about it; he knows that he is getting them by spending money. He's had a few that moved in with him for anywhere from a couple months to almost a year. What I find most surprising is his pick up line. He asks them if he can take them shoe shopping. Nothing about their looks (someone else on here mentioned how strippers are always going to hear they are hot). Just, can I take you out to buy some shoes. Buys them a couple of pairs and takes them home. Not bad for a guy in his 60s.
Quote: konceptumBuys them a couple of pairs and takes them home. Not bad for a guy in his 60s.
Bravo to that guy! Both sides leave the transaction happy, and I don't think it would meet the definition of prostitution.
Quote: Mission146Goddamnit, man, where is your confidence!?
If you ain't got confidence, you ain't got nothin', including a stripper girlfriend! First of all, you don't find a way to blow it, THEY find a way not to take advantage of a good opportunity!!!
You need to not worry about walking on eggshells, that's your first problem. The size of your physical penis is immaterial...for now...but you have to have a big metaphorical penis. This entails acting as though you have confidence, whereas, tip-toeing on eggshells is not a ggood example. You CRUSH those eggshells, step with a heavy foot, forge the path.
And, guess what, if you don't know what to do in a situation...do nothing!
That's right, just wait for her to take the initiative. You have to be calm, cool, collected, f***ing above it, man. Above it. Look at yourself in the mirror in the morning, and say, "I am above it." Do it until you are actually above it. The politics of dating and niceties of establishing a relationship are beneath you, relationships establish themselves if they are going to happen.
I'm not saying to be an @$$hole, I'm not saying to be cocky, I'm saying to be cool, brother. DO NOT PURSUE. Are you sending the first text of the day? That's pursuing, did you send two texts in a row? Even worse. Next thing you'll know you will be recognized and regarded by one and all as a stalker, it doesn't take much to be labelled a stalker these days!
Screw that.
She texts you first or not at all, for at least a month. You NEVER send two texts in a row, you NEVER call her twice in a row, you NEVER leave a message, the politics of leaving a phone message are so passe and beneath you. If she wanted to know what you have to say, then she should have answered the phone. Since she did not answer, she'll find out what you wanted when she calls back.
Why tell her what you were calling for in a message? Why would she call you back if she already knows what yoy want? You have to be intriguing, and part of being intriguing is to be f*&%$$ing aloof. Not cocky, aloof, fine line, find it.
Ha, I have no confidence! I don't know how to pull the trigger with women. I don't know how to make a move. I mean I know how, but I guess I just get shy, but I wouldn't say shy, it's just this little seed of doubt, that maybe she wouldn't be into it. This friend of mine from high school. We used to hang out all the time. Once in college she wanted me to give her a massage, in bed. A couple months later, we went down by the river, and she wanted me to massage her then to, sort of in this sitting spooning type thing..
Another girl sent me a couple pretty strong signals at a party once.. we chatted a bit through IM, then we didn't hang out, and I forgot about for a few months, then I IM'd her once, and she asked if I wanted to watch movies at her place.... Pretty sure she just broke up and looking for rebound f**k. She was hot too, but I didn't make a move..
I could go on and on and on... But I think I've made my point..
Technically, you wouldn't have been making the move, they both made the move...the first one twice! You'd have just been acting in continuation and furtherance of the move already made.
