Humor - Rejected Blackjack Book Titles

As some of you know, my book, "1536 Free Waters and Other Blackjack Endeavors - Finding Profit and Humor in Card-Counting" is scheduled for publication soon. I quote the Wizard of Odds in one of the stories...thanks, sir, for your tutelage all these years.

While coming up with a title for the book, I also had to determine the book classification. It was a tricky choice between “Games” and “Humor.” Since I could only pick one, I went with “Games”…adding “Humor” in the subtitle will hopefully be a catch-all for the other classification. Just so you know, I rejected these other titles in case the book was classified a different way:

In the Fiction area:
Fifty Additional Shades of Grey – My Life of S&M in Underground Casinos

Science Fiction:
The Real Hunger Games – 42 Straight Hours of Playing Blackjack While Eating Only a Half-Empty Tin of Altoids

Sports:
Playing Blackjack is More of a Sport Than 27 Events Played at the 2012 London Summer Olympics

History:
General Douglas MacArthur – Great Leader, But Really Shitty Blackjack Player

Parenting and Family:
Mommy, Why is Daddy Always at the Casino?

Travel:
Visit Mesquite, Nevada – But Watch Out for the Douche Bag Pit Manager at the Casablanca Casino Who Backed Me Off for Card-Counting Even Though I Was Losing $800 at the Time

Mystery:
The Angry Man Who Killed a Cocktail Waitress with a Nine of Diamonds

Reference:
“G-SHIT-KRICE-YOU-FRIGGIN-BUTTNUTT-I-CAN’T-BELIEVE-YOU-TOOK-THAT-CARD” and Other New Entries in the Webster Blackjack Dictionary

Law:
Keeping Chips Found on the Casino Floor – It’s Not Stealing If You Don’t Get Caught

Religion:
I Found Jesus – He Was Eating a Muffin in the Alley Between the Palazzo Hotel and the Imperial Palace Casino in Las Vegas

Literature:
Absence of Sense and Sensibility – Average Blackjack Players

Kids:
Stranger Danger – Stay Clear of That Wiggy Guy Who Asks, “Wanna See the Chips in My Pocket?”

Young Adult:
Stranger Danger – Stay Clear of That Wiggy Guy Who Asks, “Wanna See the Chips in My Pocket?”

Adult Women, Ages 18-25
Welcoming Strangers – No Need to Stay Clear of That Wiggy Guy Who Asks, “Wanna See the Chips in My Pocket?”

Trivia:
The Game of Blackjack Was Invented in 2009 in Kodiak, Alaska, and Other Lesser-Known Gambling Trivia

Politics:
Like It or Not, Americans, Your President is Black, Jack!

Diet & Health:
Morbidly Obese People Spotted at the Casino – Counting Cards Instead of Counting Calories

Art:
Mona Lisa – The Original Model for the Queen of Clubs

Self-Help:
You Suck – Why You Shouldn’t Sit Next to Me at the Blackjack Table

Pets:
My Dog, Newman, Was Spaded Seven Years Ago – But He is Still a Better Blackjack Player Than Many of You

Automotive:
My Car Has a Cracked Windshield and Faulty Transmission – But It is Still a Better Blackjack Player Than Many of You

Romance:
1536 Free Waters and the Clean-Up Required After Trysts with 1536 Vegas Prostitutes

Do you have any rejected Blackjack book titles of your own? If so, please share them in this forum.

Glen

Early Childhood Development:
Counting Cards; Its as easy as 1+1+1+1

Hysterical.

Can I post this on Facebook?

Quote:

Self-Help:
You Suck – Why You Shouldn’t Sit Next to Me at the Blackjack Table

I think I would like to finally see a self-help book with a title like that!

pretty good stuff.

Thanks. You can definitely repost this on FB. You can also friend me (Glen Wiggy) if you want to see more stories like this.

Nice sentiment. I think we should push for laws allowing minors to gamble in casinos...I'd rather see kids there instead of sitting at the computer all day.

Yeah, the author of Lay The Favorite has a Masters in Fine Arts from Columbia University and also did Golden Gloves at Madison Square Garden ... she spent a childhood handicapping greyhounds for her father and, on trips to the Bahamas, played 21 and got a sip of his beer and a high-five whenever she got a Blackjack. Beer and gambling in the Bahamas at age nine but she did better than many girls who had a more "approved" upbringing.

Self Help: I'm okay, you're not okay -- Why you stink at blackjack and I don't.

Quote: FleaStiff

Beer and gambling in the Bahamas at age nine but she did better than many girls who had a more "approved" upbringing.

Steve Jobs dropped out of college, used LSD and abandoned his daughter when he was young. And it also seemed to work really well for him. Must be a pattern here ....

Quote: weaselman

Steve Jobs dropped out of college, used LSD and abandoned his daughter when he was young. And it also seemed to work really well for him. Must be a pattern here ....

Daddy was a drunk and got hit by a truck, seemed to work out OK for him too. So what?

Are you recommending LSD as a prescription for the aforementioned problems

Sex:

Blackjack Kama Sutra - 21 New Table Positions (including the ever popular "Can I play behind you?" position)

Quote: aceofspades

Sex:

Blackjack Kama Sutra - 21 New Table Positions (including the ever popular "Can I play behind you?" position)

I think I've read this book...the phrase "hit me" is uttered 129 times. Glen

The Art of BJ: Blackjack and beyond.

I was gonna say " Behind the Black Dome", but I do not want to violate any copyright laws. LOL

Adults Only... BJ: HowTo Get One and How Much You Should Tip, An Introduction to the Language of Gambling

" BJ: HowTo Get One and How Much You Should Tip" Gee now we have to tip on every BJ. No wonder I can not win.

Two more entries submitted by my friends:

Kid's book: Blackjack and the Beanstalk

Murder Mystery: Blackjack the Ripper