RU OK Day
October 6th, 2010 at 12:01:30 PM
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So tomorrow is RU OK? day, at least in Australia.
The purpose is to shed light on the depression/suicide problem, and to encourage people to ask their friends/colleagues to break the ice and check on each other. I learned about it from the Community Channel, which has a funny yet serious video about it.
So I'd like to use the opportunity to pose the question -- are you okay? Use this opportunity to unburden yourself if anything is bothering you. Most of us are anonymous, so what harm can it do? For what it's worth, I'll listen.
The purpose is to shed light on the depression/suicide problem, and to encourage people to ask their friends/colleagues to break the ice and check on each other. I learned about it from the Community Channel, which has a funny yet serious video about it.
So I'd like to use the opportunity to pose the question -- are you okay? Use this opportunity to unburden yourself if anything is bothering you. Most of us are anonymous, so what harm can it do? For what it's worth, I'll listen.
"For with much wisdom comes much sorrow." -- Ecclesiastes 1:18 (NIV)
October 6th, 2010 at 12:08:53 PM
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I appreciate your sincere concern Wizard. I am happy to report that I am okay.
Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication - Leonardo da Vinci
October 6th, 2010 at 12:11:57 PM
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I have suffered from depression in the past. I wrote my perspective for the H2G2 website that I used to frequent, and was published in a more comprehensive article at the same site. I know how hard it can be, so this is a great idea.
At the moment I seem to be in a bit of a funk. I have been doing a lot of soul searching, and realised I no longer have any real friends, I have acquaintances, colleagues, workmates, drinking buddies but I dont have anyone that I could consider a real friend. I have been feeling low lately, and I just dont know what to do. I dont even know why. I think it is because I have no one to confide in, no one to talk to. Well there is my wife, and I dont want to burden her with these things, and I have become quite adept at hiding these feelings from the world.
I guess what I am trying to say is I might not be OK, but I'm fine, I'm coping, and thanks for asking.
At the moment I seem to be in a bit of a funk. I have been doing a lot of soul searching, and realised I no longer have any real friends, I have acquaintances, colleagues, workmates, drinking buddies but I dont have anyone that I could consider a real friend. I have been feeling low lately, and I just dont know what to do. I dont even know why. I think it is because I have no one to confide in, no one to talk to. Well there is my wife, and I dont want to burden her with these things, and I have become quite adept at hiding these feelings from the world.
I guess what I am trying to say is I might not be OK, but I'm fine, I'm coping, and thanks for asking.
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October 6th, 2010 at 12:28:42 PM
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Hi Croupier,
Thank you for sharing. Although I don't know you or your wife, I suggest you share your feelings with her. Rather than being a burden, it may serve as a spark to re-ignite your relationship. If she were in a funk similar to you, wouldn't you want her to know that you cared, and were willing to help? I think she would appreciate your trusting her, that she would be supportive of you, and would work with you to make things better.
Thank you for sharing. Although I don't know you or your wife, I suggest you share your feelings with her. Rather than being a burden, it may serve as a spark to re-ignite your relationship. If she were in a funk similar to you, wouldn't you want her to know that you cared, and were willing to help? I think she would appreciate your trusting her, that she would be supportive of you, and would work with you to make things better.
Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication - Leonardo da Vinci
October 6th, 2010 at 12:32:26 PM
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I'm doing something I love; I am poor, but not destitute; I listen to good music and I sing and dance; I write and read and make homemade fruit smoothies. I'm MORE than OK. Thanks for asking.
The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one. The happiness of credulity is a cheap and dangerous quality.---George Bernard Shaw
October 6th, 2010 at 12:35:05 PM
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Quote: CroupierAt the moment I seem to be in a bit of a funk. I have been doing a lot of soul searching, and realised I no longer have any real friends.
Well there is my wife, and I dont want to burden her with these things, and I have become quite adept at hiding these feelings from the world.
I strongly suspect that your wife would WANT you to "burden" her with those things. I would also submit that as long as you have your wife, you should have at least one "real friend". So tell her what you've just told us.
The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one. The happiness of credulity is a cheap and dangerous quality.---George Bernard Shaw
October 6th, 2010 at 12:38:03 PM
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The expression is overused, but thanks for sharing. I think it is tough for married people to form close friendships. You're busy, they're busy, it is hard finding the time. Maybe a good next step would be to spend more time with the buddies you do have. There is a decent chance at least one will reciprocate, and take it from buddies to friends. Just being around other people for any reason can't hurt. Feel free to keep it going here too.
"For with much wisdom comes much sorrow." -- Ecclesiastes 1:18 (NIV)
October 6th, 2010 at 12:42:21 PM
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Quote: Wizard
So I'd like to use the opportunity to pose the question -- are you okay? Use this opportunity to unburden yourself if anything is bothering you. Most of us are anonymous, so what harm can it do? For what it's worth, I'll listen.
At first I thought what a crazy thread.
Then it got me thinking.
and the more I thought about it, the better I felt.
Now I feel really good.
Damn, it actually works.
Without saying too much, I am not destined to live on this earth for many more days and I find myself searching for things and activities that makes me feel better.
Thanks Wizard for listening and making me feel better.
7 winner chicken dinner!
October 6th, 2010 at 12:45:09 PM
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Thanks everyone. I did not want to imply my wife isnt a friend. She is the best friend I have ever had. I think I'm falling victim to the trust issues i mentioned in my blog here. It might also be because Im currently frustrated creatively. I cannot find a way to properly express myself through either music or writing, two things I really found helped me through other tough times.
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October 6th, 2010 at 3:15:50 PM
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1st guy: talking to a guy at the bar: "hey man, whats your problem???"
2nd guy: "well, my wife left me, took the kids and the car, cleaned out the savings account, I lost my job and what litle money I have I drink, smoke and gamble it away and I guess my problem is that I've never been happier in my whole life."
2nd guy: "well, my wife left me, took the kids and the car, cleaned out the savings account, I lost my job and what litle money I have I drink, smoke and gamble it away and I guess my problem is that I've never been happier in my whole life."
October 6th, 2010 at 3:41:24 PM
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Quote: CroupierThanks everyone. I did not want to imply my wife isnt a friend. She is the best friend I have ever had. I think I'm falling victim to the trust issues i mentioned in my blog here. It might also be because Im currently frustrated creatively. I cannot find a way to properly express myself through either music or writing, two things I really found helped me through other tough times.
I think I hear what you're saying. I'm not saying you shouldn't have a friendly relationship with your spouse. However, there are some things that are better told to a friend than a spouse.
I'm one to bottle up my feelings too, so am not a good one to suggest ways to express them. My own medicine is to just do anything, preferably something physical. I used to ride by bike over 100 miles a week during my bad times.
"For with much wisdom comes much sorrow." -- Ecclesiastes 1:18 (NIV)
October 6th, 2010 at 3:45:55 PM
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Quote: WizardI think I hear what you're saying. I'm not saying you shouldn't have a friendly relationship with your spouse. However, there are some things that are better told to a friend than a spouse.
And I think thats where my problem lies. My old friends have moved on and lead different lives now, and the work collegues i have I dont trust enough to talk to openly.
Once again though thanks to everyone. Just getting it down in words is starting to help. I am starting to see things more clearly.
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October 6th, 2010 at 3:52:47 PM
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Quote: CroupierWell there is my wife, and I dont want to burden her with these things
Probably a wise move. I've always found it better to find a third party who isn't emotionally involved when I have problems. Wives aren't always the best choice when it comes to unbiased advice. Search for a forum on the net that deals with whatever you're feeling, believe me, its out there. I've done this in the past and it really helps to hear strangers discuss exactly what you're going thru.
"It's not called gambling if the math is on your side."
October 6th, 2010 at 5:56:05 PM
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I've had a lot of medical issues over the last few years. Sometimes it seems like every time I turn around there's something else. And some days I feel like I've lost my zest for life. But generally speaking I do OK, I can always pull myself back up. I'm a "bottle feelings up" guy, too; or more accurately, I often think that how I feel about things is not really relevant, and I keep it to myself because I believe that feelings are transient and constantly shifting. There's no point in sharing them because they only reflect how I feel at that moment.
Thanks for asking.
(For all the more serious things I've had, the worst operation with the most painful recovery was the hydrocele I had fixed in Jan '09. Son of a bitch, if I ever get one on the other side I'm leaving that sucker alone. Never again.)
Thanks for asking.
(For all the more serious things I've had, the worst operation with the most painful recovery was the hydrocele I had fixed in Jan '09. Son of a bitch, if I ever get one on the other side I'm leaving that sucker alone. Never again.)
A falling knife has no handle.
October 6th, 2010 at 8:01:56 PM
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Quote: EvenBobProbably a wise move. I've always found it better to find a third party who isn't emotionally involved when I have problems. Wives aren't always the best choice when it comes to unbiased advice.
That was part of the problem for me. I didnt think I had anyone that would listen to my problems. But the coincidental timing of the start of this thread, and the fact that everyone here has been gracious and supportive has helped.
Mosca - Im sorry to hear about your problems. And after having clicked your link, I hope you never suffer from hydrocele again. I got to the word 'waterballoon' and felt queasy for a minute.
EDIT - Not that I would have wished it on you beforehand, It was just unfortunate phrasing on my part.
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October 6th, 2010 at 9:15:19 PM
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All I can say is, thank God for the American Pharmaceutical industry.
Prediction is very difficult, especially about the future. - Niels Bohr
October 6th, 2010 at 9:19:52 PM
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I've been lucky enough to never be clinically depressed, and I am doing just a-okay. Croupier and Mosca, sorry to hear about your problems and I hope you are both doing well.
Croupier, perhaps there's a mental professional nearby that you can confide in and help you get out of your funk.
Croupier, perhaps there's a mental professional nearby that you can confide in and help you get out of your funk.
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You want the truth! You can't handle the truth!
October 6th, 2010 at 9:22:48 PM
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Quote: boymimbo
Croupier, perhaps there's a mental professional nearby that you can confide in and help you get out of your funk.
Nah I think I'll be fine. Sorry for hijacking this thread with my problems.
to get back on topic
RU OK?
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October 7th, 2010 at 1:45:10 AM
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I'm doing extremely well in a number of categories, in fact, in the most important ones. I beat a drinking problem I had in my 20s without professional help, but with tremendous help from one friend in particular. I guess you truly can't do it alone with those sorts of problems, and I am as indebted to him as if he had pulled me out of the water when I was drowning.
Life always has something for you though: currently the bad economy is threatening my job. I sure hope we are on the brink of recovery in this country and in the world. This is giving me the blues quite frequently these days. Today I am heading out into the outdoors to get away from it all for a bit.
But doing well in all the important things. Hey! it does feel good to talk about it!
Life always has something for you though: currently the bad economy is threatening my job. I sure hope we are on the brink of recovery in this country and in the world. This is giving me the blues quite frequently these days. Today I am heading out into the outdoors to get away from it all for a bit.
But doing well in all the important things. Hey! it does feel good to talk about it!
the next time Dame Fortune toys with your heart, your soul and your wallet, raise your glass and praise her thus: “Thanks for nothing, you cold-hearted, evil, damnable, nefarious, low-life, malicious monster from Hell!” She is, after all, stone deaf. ... Arnold Snyder
October 7th, 2010 at 10:21:01 AM
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I hope your job stays safe odious. I have been out of work through no fault of my own, and it sucks.
Thanks to everyone for the messages and support. I was inspired by the Wizard posting this and the responses to write about it in my boredom reliever blog, and post on Facebook, in the hope that it helps someone else in the way it helped me.
Thanks to everyone for the messages and support. I was inspired by the Wizard posting this and the responses to write about it in my boredom reliever blog, and post on Facebook, in the hope that it helps someone else in the way it helped me.
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