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Tanko
Tanko
Joined: Apr 22, 2013
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March 11th, 2014 at 5:04:38 AM permalink
Quote: 1BB

What do you guys do when Jehova's Witnesses come calling?


I always greet them in a friendly manner, but I confront their beliefs.

One morning two Witnesses came by and we began a discussion. After a few more visits, one of them said to me "This (being a JW) is the only thing in my life that I have done right. I'm strong in my Faith. I couldn't even read before this. Now I can read and I have skills.

He explained that all of their printing, electrical work, plumbing, masonry and carpentry is done voluntarily by male and female members who are trained in these skills free of charge by the organization.

He also explained that they always maintain a good appearance and keep their homes and apartments spotless because they believe they are always in the Lord's presence and He is always present in their home.

A fellow I know owns a number of apartments. After years of dealing with problem tenants, he decided to call the local Kingdom Hall any time he needed a tenant.

No more problem tenants.

They're quiet, clean and they always pay the rent.
1BB
1BB
Joined: Oct 10, 2011
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March 11th, 2014 at 5:16:34 AM permalink
Quote: s2dbaker

I convert them to Atheism.



Love it! Now, who answers the door naked? Fess up, guys.
Many people, especially ignorant people, want to punish you for speaking the truth. - Mahatma Ghandi
Nareed
Nareed
Joined: Nov 11, 2009
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March 11th, 2014 at 7:45:47 AM permalink
Quote: gpac1377

I'll give some background for those who are curious.



Thank you. That clears things up.

Quote:

Bottom line: God exists. Oh, and atheism is a religion.



And apaprently so is philosophy, science, and maybe a host of other thigns. I wasn't joking about Orthodox Jews. I once heard one of them explain a prayer, and about a quarter of the words in it, like palce, time, feeling, and others, were explained as meaning or standing for "God." I had to leave or burst out laughing.
Donald Trump is a fucking criminal
Wizard
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Wizard
Joined: Oct 14, 2009
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March 11th, 2014 at 8:52:49 AM permalink
Joke Time!

A Higgs Boson walks into church and the priest says, "We don't allow Higgs Bosons in here." The Higgs Boson replies, but without me, how can you have mass?
It's not whether you win or lose; it's whether or not you had a good bet.
gpac1377
gpac1377
Joined: Apr 7, 2013
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March 11th, 2014 at 9:05:54 AM permalink
Quote: Wizard

Joke Time!


"How's your son doing? Has he found a job yet?"
"No, but he has taken up meditation."
"Oh good, at least he's not sitting around doing nothing."
"Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth, with a top speed of 120 feet per second, is a cow that has been dropped out of a helicopter."
beachbumbabs
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beachbumbabs
Joined: May 21, 2013
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March 11th, 2014 at 10:01:57 AM permalink
Quote: Wizard

Joke Time!



And the bartender looks up and says, "Hey, buddy! We don't serve faster-than-light neutrinos here!"


A neutrino walks into a bar....
If the House lost every hand, they wouldn't deal the game.
pew
pew
Joined: Oct 6, 2012
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March 11th, 2014 at 11:42:12 AM permalink
This thread is about celebrating religion not whether god exists. All religious views are welcome (I think), including atheism as evidenced by what seems a majority of the posts being from non-theists and thereby celebrating their beliefs. Whats the big deal?
FrGamble
FrGamble
Joined: Jun 5, 2011
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March 20th, 2014 at 8:30:19 PM permalink
This was really touching, even if you don't speak Italian you can get the gist of what they are discussing. At one point one of the judges asks her what she thinks the Vatican would think of her doing this and she responds that she is waiting for a telephone call from Pope Francis...awesome.

Religious Sister on The Voice
24Bingo
24Bingo
Joined: Jul 4, 2012
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March 20th, 2014 at 9:31:34 PM permalink
Quote: 1BB

Love it! Now, who answers the door naked? Fess up, guys.



Two words: "Megan's Law."

For which reason I always keep around an XL sundress to answer the door in.
The trick to poker is learning not to beat yourself up for your mistakes too much, and certainly not too little, but just the right amount.
treetopbuddy
treetopbuddy
Joined: Jan 12, 2013
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March 22nd, 2014 at 9:35:47 AM permalink
I took my 85 year old granddad, the Reverend Herschel Liechty a Presbyterian minister, to the dog track, once. After a few races he somehow realized that I was betting on the races. He was very upset with me……yeah granddad, we came to the track to watch dogs chase an artificial rabbit while running in a circle, I thought.…….I felt bad so we left. He later sent me a scathing letter pointing out the evils of gambling.

Maybe it was his age…I don't know. Apparently gambling was a big no-no. I loved him anyway.
Each day is better than the next

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