Spinoff thread of......Women have zero accountability towards men

Can anyone give me an example of why a middle class man or above risk himself to become involved in marriage? IMHO the risk is to high to his future that he may lose half.

Quote: mason2386

Can anyone give me an example of why a middle class man or above risk himself to become involved in marriage? IMHO the risk is to high to his future that he may lose half.

Not sure why you limited it to "middle class and above". I can maybe think of a few situations where it makes sense. Maybe. If I tried real hard. And was drunk. And tripping balls. And suffering from PCS.

I suppose for the half who make it, it is +EV. But really, if you committed yourself to a best friend in bachelorhood, you'd have the same benefits. Life is easier split between two people with common goals. But if your goals become uncommon, you're in the s#$%. And LOL at "lose half". On paper, I lost half. In reality, I lost everything I had and most of the things I never did.

I came into this world with nothing, and I still have most of it left. That's what marriage gets you when the coin drops on the wrong side.

The risk you take, emotional and monetarily, increases as you earn more. In the current society, marriage is valued less as divorce is easier. AoS, your thoughts? In modern society it seems the male of the species has more at risk as he has the responsibility to pay alimony and if kids are involved, child support.

I'll leave this here:

Another thread like this was necessary? Really?

Married men live longer than single/divorced. Married men are generally happier than single men. Life is much easier overall with a wife to share the chores, the joys and sorrows, future plans and goals. Children, should a man be inclined to have a family, do much better in a 2 parent household, and men who successfully work at marriage are great role models for their children, both male and female.

OTOH, married women die sooner than single women, and are less happy. If a man marries a woman who's generally about his money, he gets what he pays for. If a man marries a woman as his partner and the mother of his children, he usually gets more than he pays for, unless he's stupid enough to step out on her and let her find out.

So, sorry to hear you're yet another misogynist on here. Yawn. Hope you get over it before you waste your life without one of the best things it offers.

Quote: beachbumbabs

Married men live longer than single/divorced.

House cats tend to live longer as well.

Where's EvenBob?

I'm sure he'll have a great response for this thread.


Where art thou EvenBob?

Quote: beachbumbabs

Hope you get over it before you waste your life without one of the best things it offers.

This, and the "theory of everything" (also in the sense of nothing specific, general, or of itself).

The unpaired folk can't "get it", in the same way the less-intelligent can't understand the more-intelligent (but look for ways to "get past" it).


Add on: It would be nice to prove Alan right as well.

Add on 2: But only after Alan moves over to the 1/11 camp.

Quote: mason2386

Can anyone give me an example of why a middle class man or above risk himself to become involved in marriage? IMHO the risk is to high to his future that he may lose half.

After age 30 or so, bachelors are not as accepted in business and even more, politics. If you are anything in a position where you have to "climb the ladder" and you do not have a spouse you will be looked down upon.

Quote: beachbumbabs

Married men live longer than single/divorced. Married men are generally happier than single men.

I always thought that was a crock. Like "Oh, I'm so happy and in love, my stress lowers and I live longer", or some other dumb line of thought. Then I tried the bachelor life - there's no one forcing me to the doctor when I cough blood, no one nagging me to use a respirator when painting, no one questioning whether I should turn the mower off before addressing an issue, no one asking me if it's better to not eat that chicken that's been on the counter for two days.

I get it now XD

Quote: BBB

So, sorry to hear you're yet another misogynist on here.

Hey, I'm no misogynist. I realize my problems are half because you are crazy and illogical, and half is because I lack the ability to understand and/or empathize. Actually, in my case, it might be a bit closer to 70/30. I'm a difficult person to deal with. Hell, sometimes I can hardly stand to be around myself.

But I am a raging misogamist, and I suspect I will be until the day that I die. The very premise is ludicrous - make the biggest business decision you will ever make, and base your decision entirely on emotion. Absurd. The very idea boggles the mind.

Love, respect, commitment, dedication, all of these exist between two people, because of the actions and desires between those two people. The concept that it is only made "legit" by the recognition of government and the requirement of entering a business contract is one of the most offensive and repugnant ideas I have ever heard.

I don't rail because I'm against commitment. I rail precisely because I am for it, and believe it should remain in its purest form.

Marriage. Pah.

So a NJ man wrote an article that he does not want his wife to quit her job to be a stay-at-home mom. He says he will miss the drive and happiness he sees in her when she achieves professionally. However, the wife states she no loner wants to work and merely wants to stay at home with the kids.

I have seen this discussed on numerous news channels and all the pundits are siding with the wife, saying - if she doesn't want to work she shouldn't have to. What if the man decided he didn't want to work and wanted to be a stay-at-home dad...? Would the family then just live on the streets?

Face,

I addressed the OP, not you, sorry. I should have made that clear. It was the vague generality of it, and splitting it from the original thread was like cloning a sheep; pretty soon it's just a flock-up. :)

I happen to agree with you about what commitment and marriage are about, both of them. However, I think marriage is (should be) at least as much a financial decision as it is an emotional one. It's a business.

But, yeah, I think a lot of people who get married should live together instead. An awful lot of marriages are based on power struggles, jealousy, and insecurity between the two people, even if it's one-sided and the other is an honest party. Sad.

I was doing fine not married. Got married for what turned out to be a bad reason. Ten years later, got un-married. I can see living with a man or having a monogamous relationship again, but married? Naw.

Quote: mason2386

Can anyone give me an example of why a middle class man or above risk himself to become involved in marriage? IMHO the risk is to high to his future that he may lose half.

Misogyny: The hatred of woman and girls.

Mason, you have been called a misogynist in this very thread after only two posts. Is that an accurate description? Are you a misogynist? I read people pretty well and I just can't see anything misogynistic about you with the limited information here. I reread all 36 of your posts. The other 34 were about gambling etc. I hope you don't take being called a misogynist as a personal insult.

Oh yes, welcome to the forum.

Quote: aceofspades

So a NJ man wrote an article that he does not want his wife to quit her job to be a stay-at-home mom. He says he will miss the drive and happiness he sees in her when she achieves professionally. However, the wife states she no loner wants to work and merely wants to stay at home with the kids.

I have seen this discussed on numerous news channels and all the pundits are siding with the wife, saying - if she doesn't want to work she shouldn't have to. What if the man decided he didn't want to work and wanted to be a stay-at-home dad...? Would the family then just live on the streets?

Of course they will side with the wife in our society. He might as well forget it, if they get a divorce she will live like a queen on alimony while he works a double shift eating bologna.

Quote: AZDuffman

... she will live like a queen on alimony while he works a double shift eating bologna.

Bet he asks himself "Why didn't I just learn how to cook?"

LOVE me some Jerry Reed, and that is a great song =D

Quote: 1BB

Misogyny: The hatred of woman and girls.

No no no. The new definition of "misogyny" is disagreeing with third wave feminism. :^)

Also for some reason another definition is the belief that journalistic conflicts of interest should be disclosed, for some reason that gets you accused of muh soggy knees as well.

Quote: darthxaos

No no no. The new definition of "misogyny" is disagreeing with third wave feminism. :^)

Also for some reason another definition is the belief that journalistic conflicts of interest should be disclosed, for some reason that gets you accused of muh soggy knees as well.

Ha ha, thanks for the laugh. I think I'll watch the Three Stooges now. The episode is called "Woman Haters". :-)

Quote: beachbumbabs

Another thread like this was necessary? Really?

Married men live longer than single/divorced. Married men are generally happier than single men. Life is much easier overall with a wife to share the chores, the joys and sorrows, future plans and goals. Children, should a man be inclined to have a family, do much better in a 2 parent household, and men who successfully work at marriage are great role models for their children, both male and female.

OTOH, married women die sooner than single women, and are less happy. If a man marries a woman who's generally about his money, he gets what he pays for. If a man marries a woman as his partner and the mother of his children, he usually gets more than he pays for, unless he's stupid enough to step out on her and let her find out.

So, sorry to hear you're yet another misogynist on here. Yawn. Hope you get over it before you waste your life without one of the best things it offers.

I hope you take this as good discussion, as I'm simply tossing more ideas out to the topic...

1) No numbers/facts/stats, so on the level of being fair and requiring sources for an argument, these statements mean absolutely nothing.
2) My opinion - I still disagree. Face gave some good/fun reasons why.
3) You forgot the good old "When married, women outlive the men."

Here's a Harvard article that even supports your claims: http://www.health.harvard.edu/newsletter_article/marriage-and-mens-health

However... Figures never lie, but liars sometimes figure. Who's to say that if I stay unmarried and die on the left side of the bell curve I'm less happy? I certainly would take 80 years of being HAPPY as opposed to 100 years of putting up with someone's illogical, near psychotic, episodes. Since we don't have any comprehensive studies with larger amounts of data (over 50 million couples/etc), we can draw wild conclusions for either side. I could certainly go do some research and find 100 guys that died earlier from being married than another 100 whom lived longer unmarried. This is why I love my old stats professors quote: "Figures never lie, but liars sometimes figure." You can manipulate the small amounts of data as you see fit.

So what can we go off of? Relevant experience? Enough small scale trails to try to make an accurate assumption about the large scale? In my personal experiences I've come to the following conclusions: Marriage makes you more stressed, but does help 'some people' live longer because you're sharing those stresses/burdens with another. It's simple math. Say getting married you incur 30% more stress in your life. Well, if you have a good marriage and a good partner you're sharing 50% of that stress with them, thus putting less on you. Now the exact opposite conclusion can be drawn... If you have a partner whom isn't "right" for you, or you disagree about a lot, it's going to create so much more stress that BOTH of you will incur more stress than you would being single. I believe I'm right when I say this is most marriages. Thus, overall marriage does not make anyone live longer. It can for some, but not for the masses, in my opinion.

It's in our DNA to find partners, reproduce offspring, and survive. Whether or not monogamy is correct is to be determined. Monogamy is simply the result of supply and demand, followed up with some evolution. Most (certainly not all) animals mate and leave the female to raise the children. Well, when humans started developing higher thought processes, women wanted to keep the men around longer after the kids came for protection. Thus, they had to find a way to keep them around and came up with a more binding "contract" that came with a relationship, kids, etc. Women didn't want to keep men around because they 'loved' them. They wanted, and more importantly needed, our protection since we're the stronger sex. This idea evolved in to pair bonding, love, monogamy, etc... To the point that if a man is in a relationship and even looks at another woman, he can get in trouble... Yes, he can get in trouble for his natural INSTINCTS that tell him to reproduce with as many mates as possible to get the best mathematical possibility of carrying on his genes. Ass-backwards if you ask me.

I'm no misogynist. I date. I respect women. In fact, I'm probably one of those guys that's "too nice" sometimes. I do want to get married, settle down with kids and the whole 9 yards, but I'm oddly at peace if that never happens. Thus, with a lot to offer, I'm extremely selective in whom I want to share my life/possessions/etc with... to a point that unless someone pretty amazing comes along, I can see a real possibility of me never settling down with any one person. I was sad when I first had this realization, but then revealed when I realized it was okay, and that I could be just as happy (or happier) on my own.

Edit - 100% serious: If I ever do get married, I'm going to have a very good (and very fair) pre-nup. You get what's yours, I get what's mine. If she's not okay with that, then she's not the girl for me.

Quote: beachbumbabs

Married men are generally happier than single men. .

That's what all the studies say, but is it
true? I know my share of married men,
that is, men who have been married over
10 years. And none of them are 'happy'
with their wives.

But they are happy with the marriage. It
serves a purpose for them. The woman
does all the heavy lifting. She cooks,
cleans, does laundry, takes care of their
social life, takes care of the kids, even
after they leave, she emotionally cares
for them. And she probably has a job,
too.

The husband goes to work, then putters
around the house and yard, pretending
to be doing something useful. By and
large, men are incredibly lazy when it
comes to boring chores around the home.
We'd do laundry when we ran out of
clean clothes, vacuum once a month,
get take out every night, never make
the bed, never clean the bathroom or
use the kitchen. If we could. That's why
men have wives and are happy with
marriage.

Do men love or even like the woman
they married. For most, not really. I
don't know any that do. They pretend
to, because they need them, like they
needed their mommy. I totally believe
single women live longer, married women
are taking care of two people full time.

Quote: beachbumbabs

d. Married men are generally happier than single men. .

I think some desperate woman looking for a husband headed up that study. How old is that study? Are they actually happy with the marriage or are some married men just happier for other reasons?

I also don't think there's any way to get an accurate answer to such a complex question, there's way to many variables.

Since divorce is so high marriage obviously isn't that great. If they are so happy, why so many divorces? Does it count if a married man is happy, but only because he is sleeping with the hot barley legal baby sitter while he is never home, and his wife supports him?

Age, length of time and personality have a lot to do with it.

Most people can't even admit to themselves if they are not happily married.

Obviously a lonely person not capable of finding a date would probably be happier married.

And there are degrees of happiness.

A single young, outgoing, good looking male with some game, is probably ecstatically happy.

A fat, ugly 50 year old, 10 year married man may be content(I think people mix up content with happy).

A 50 year old man married to a 21 year old hottie is probably very happy.


I think If you give a guy all the benefits of someone like george clooney or some young popular actor. He wouldn't be happier married.


http://topyaps.com/top-10-famous-bachelors-of-the-world

Quote: AxelWolf

Most people can't even admit to themselves if they are not happily married.

Women can, men can't. I know men who
are miserable, but they would never admit
it. They get what they want out of the
marriage, they just hate spending time
or dealing with their wives. Like Face
said, half the time women are are nuts
acting, and you never see it coming.

Happily married here, and no dog in the fight.

I'm smiling at the irony of at least two posters writing the equivalent of "sure, all the studies and the numbers say that married men are happier, but what about... [hypothetical / anecdotal story]?" on a forum/website supposedly about (among other things) math and statistics.

Quote: Romes

Here's a Harvard article that even supports your claims: http://www.health.harvard.edu/newsletter_article/marriage-and-mens-health

.... Figures never lie, but liars sometimes figure. Since we don't have any comprehensive studies with larger amounts of data (over 50 million couples/etc), we can draw wild conclusions for either side. .

Romes, law of large numbers. N=127,000 for one survey, plus others referenced.

In other news, looks like Santa Ana Star now caps buying the 4/10 vig-free at $100, and went from 10x to 5x odds (some time in 2014). That's too bad.

Quote: harvson3

...Romes, law of large numbers. N=127,000 for one survey, plus others referenced....

Not sure I understand your point? Even if it was a million surveyed that still wouldn't prove anything. That's like saying "I played 10,000 hands of craps and I'm down more than my EV. The game is rigged!"

Quote: darthxaos

No no no. The new definition of "misogyny" is disagreeing with third wave feminism. :^)

Also for some reason another definition is the belief that journalistic conflicts of interest should be disclosed, for some reason that gets you accused of muh soggy knees as well.

**** just got real!

All the studies are bull. The stat is 50%
of men get divorced, doesn't sound like
a whole lot of happiness to me. And you
can't claim the men are deliriously happy
and it's the women who want out. It takes
two to tango. Men don't file because they
have too much to lose, and a known is
better than an unknown. It's not because
they're happy.

Quote: EvenBob

All the studies are bull. The stat is 50%
of men get divorced, doesn't sound like
a whole lot of happiness to me. And you
can't claim the men are deliriously happy
and it's the women who want out. It takes
two to tango. Men don't file because they
have too much to lose, and a known is
better than an unknown. It's not because
they're happy.

Thus, they cheat... Though especially in my experiences, women are cheaters all the same. Just makes more sense for men in the situation you pointed out lol

Quote: Romes

Not sure I understand your point? Even if it was a million surveyed that still wouldn't prove anything. That's like saying "I played 10,000 hands of craps and I'm down more than my EV. The game is rigged!"

You wrote, and I'll quote in full to provide context:

Quote: Romes

Since we don't have any comprehensive studies with larger amounts of data (over 50 million couples/etc), we can draw wild conclusions for either side. I could certainly go do some research and find 100 guys that died earlier from being married than another 100 whom lived longer unmarried. This is why I love my old stats professors quote: "Figures never lie, but liars sometimes figure." You can manipulate the small amounts of data as you see fit.

So what can we go off of? Relevant experience? Enough small scale trails to try to make an accurate assumption about the large scale? In my personal experiences I've come to the following conclusions:

There's no reason we need to sample 50 million couples to know that, on average, according to the study (done by the CDC, linked here) married men are on average healthier than unmarried men. The law of large numbers provides us a shortcut. We can gather a smaller sample size and forecast from its finding, provided that the randomized sample is properly collected.

Your analogy to "hands of craps" doesn't work; in that case we know the expected value and we can calculate the probability that our actual return is within a certain number of standard deviations of the EV, thus how plausible/probable getting such a result is. (Go back to the AoS thread on "impossible blackjack sequences" to see the discussion this generates.)

If you think the sample was improperly generated or the measurements off (as EvenBob claims above, in reference to measures of "happiness"), then take it up with the CDC.

ETA: CDC study says "healthiest," not happiest. I edited that above.

Quote: EvenBob

All the studies are bull. The stat is 50%
of men get divorced, doesn't sound like
a whole lot of happiness to me.

(I don't know why I feel the need to do this, but....)
The oft-cited statistic you're trying to quote is that fifty percent of marriages end in divorce, which is not the same thing as saying that fifty percent of men get divorced.

Also, that statistic is most likely wrong, according (here) to a news source you, EvenBob, consider reliable.

Quote: harvson3

You wrote, and I'll quote in full to provide context:

There's no reason we need to sample 50 million couples to know that, on average, according to the study (done by the CDC, linked here) married men are on average healthier than unmarried men. The law of large numbers provides us a shortcut. We can gather a smaller sample size and forecast from its finding, provided that the randomized sample is properly collected.

Your analogy to "hands of craps" doesn't work; in that case we know the expected value and we can calculate the probability that our actual return is within a certain number of standard deviations of the EV, thus how plausible/probable getting such a result is. (Go back to the AoS thread on "impossible blackjack sequences" to see the discussion this generates.)

If you think the sample was improperly generated or the measurements off (as EvenBob claims above, in reference to measures of "happiness"), then take it up with the CDC.

ETA: CDC study says "healthiest," not happiest. I edited that above.

1) 2004
2) Exactly... Quantify "happiness" for me. Also, as stated prior, I'd rather be happy for 80 years than healthy and miserable for 100 years. Odd to see me write that considering I'm a rather healthy person, but yeah, I'd rather be happy.
3) You're completely missing my points about statistics... I can go survey 150,000 people (of my choosing) and 'make' whatever results I want. I'm stating I don't believe these are statistically accurate, and not only that, it's a hideously small sampling size. I'm not even saying they skewed them, just that especially with this small sampling size the results mean nothing (which is where the 10k hands example comes from - many users on this site have made threads about cheating online sites and they post 50 hands as their 'evidence').

Just saw a clip from a Real Housewives show and Sonja Morgan (divorced from someone in the JP Morgan family) stated that when it comes to oral sex, she doesn't swallow - unless she knows the man has a black card (shorthand for the American Express Centurion Card)

Quote: harvson3

which is not the same thing as saying that fifty percent of men get divorced.

So you think in a divorce, some of the
men stay married? Really?

For the happiness stat to be relevant, both groups would have to be equal outside of whether or not they are married. It's kind of like citing average income of college graduates and non college grads. The pool of college grad pool is going to be naturally more intelligent if you don't exclude those who would be incapable of graduating college and would be able to make more money on average whether or not they had an education, in the same way that if you don't exclude men whose lives are screwed up to the point where no woman would marry them anyways of course on average the married men are happier. Neither is really an arms length comparison if you don't make some more prequalifications. But by all means when you get the answer you want just stop there right?

Happiness?
I'm a happy man.
I'm happily married to my third wife.
When/if she becomes unhappy, I'll happily go in search of #4.

Quote: EvenBob

So you think in a divorce, some of the
men stay married? Really?

The fact that some men get divorced more than once skews the numbers.

Say you have a sample of 4 men. Three get married and do not divorce. The fourth gets married & divorced 3 times.

Divorce rate = 3 (# of divorces) / 6 (# of marriages) = 50%
% of divorced men = 1 / 4 = 25%

Quote: mason2386

Can anyone give me an example of why a middle class man or above risk himself to become involved in marriage? IMHO the risk is to high to his future that he may lose half.

I dunno. It worked out for me. We met when we were in our mid 30s.

People tend to project themselves on to others. It is a way to help make sense of the world. And it can be useful, because people tend to behave in predictable ways, within their personality types. But the reality is the same as it is at the tables: patterns are fine for understanding long term results, but are only a guide for what is going to happen next.

The less you open yourself up to the possibilities, the more likely you will follow the patterns.

ETA, it is good to know that someone truly cares about me. So much that she committed her life to us. And, I get to do that back for her.

If you don't need that, then it is probably not for you. But this is one cold son of a bitch world.

Quote: mason2386

Can anyone give me an example of why a middle class man or above risk himself to become involved in marriage? IMHO the risk is to high to his future that he may lose half.

"What is a man profited to gain the whole world and lose his own soul"? Matthew 16:26 Well there is that.

It depends on what you value most. It seems that your question suggests there is no [monetary] gain to acquiring a spouse and that is what you value most?

You could always "marry up". Where do you find your happiness? I also believe you don't have to marry someone to have commitment.

I see that 2 people said they were happy being married. Yet they didn't say they were HAPPIER. I hear some people are even happy in prison.

I suspect everyone in the happily married group will start claiming how much happier they suddenly are.

Quote: AxelWolf

I see that 2 people said they were happy being married. Yet they didn't say they were HAPPIER. I hear some people are even happy in prison.

I suspect everyone in the happily married group will start claiming how much happier they suddenly are.

I guess I'm one of the two you referred to in your post. Am I happier because I'm married? Hhmmmmm, can't say for sure because I can't be on both sides of the same equation simultaneously. My best guess, is "yes". I'll go with yes Alex for 1000.....

Quote: TwoFeathersATL

I guess I'm one of the two you referred to in your post. Am I happier because I'm married? Hhmmmmm, can't say for sure because I can't be on both sides of the same equation simultaneously. My best guess, is "yes". I'll go with yes Alex for 1000.....

You actually asked a seemingly serious question, were those two happier? That is not a direct quote, I have promised to try to avoid breaking the forum rules ( mis-stated quotes is somewhere in the rules, I'm pretty sure, even if I can't lay my hands on the exact rule, at the moment)... I responded with a quick answer, I think perhaps I'm happier.
Am I happier because I am married? My answer has to be 'no'. I am not happier because I'm married. I am happier because I married an angel, sent from heaven to hold my hand, guide me thru the tough days, remind me of my weaknesses (gently), and help provide me with the opportunity to 'shine brightly' in the world. She has done all that, and more.. She loves me, even the bad parts.

Now that is what you need, trust me. I've been married, I've been single, rinse and repeat. If you're lucky enough to get the shoe to give you a really good hand, split to 4 and double them all! 2F

Quote: TwoFeathersATL

Now that is what you need, trust me. I've been married, I've been single, rinse and repeat. If you're lucky enough to get the shoe to give you a really good hand, split to 4 and double them all! 2F

Hopefully, you were already at the table Max ;-)

Being happy or not happy is a personal choice. We all have that opportunity each day we get out of bed..

No one can "make" another be happy.

But living with the wrong person can certainly make us miserable.

I have doubts if I would be alive had I not married, serious doubts living the way I was. So, I will give my wife at least partial credit for me being alive and at least having a chance to be happy. I also know it doesn't happen for everyone, much like winning a lotto.

We all have a duty to try and make ourselves happy.

Happy gets confused with content or satisfied regularly. My wife truly wishes for my happiness and does everything she can to make it so, she fully allows me to be happy, the rest is up to me.

Quote: petroglyph

Being happy or not happy is a personal choice. We all have that opportunity each day we get out of bed..

Happiness is an emotion, not a choice. You cannot "choose" to feel happy. Happiness is caused by the release of endoprhins from the central nervous system and pituitary gland.

The man who discovers a repeatable technique to spontaneously release endorphins without external stimuli would be a very rich man indeed, and would put drug dealers out of business.

As a divorcee myself, I no longer have the desire to live with a woman. Like Chris Rock used to say I need 3 things from a woman. Food, sex and silence. Feed, me, f*** me and shut the f*** up. I don't care to hear how your day was, and I don't care to bore you with the minutia of my day either

When you live with a woman, everything is
about her. It's her kitchen, bedroom, living
room, etc. You're just a guest there and
you better leave it exactly as you found it
or you'll hear about it.

I know so many men that almost live in their
basements with their hobbies, just to do what
they want in their own home. And to get out
of the wife's way. To me, that isn't happiness,
it's confinement.

Quote: darthxaos

Happiness is an emotion, not a choice. You cannot "choose" to feel happy. Happiness is caused by the release of endoprhins from the central nervous system and pituitary gland.

The man who discovers a repeatable technique to spontaneously release endorphins without external stimuli would be a very rich man indeed, and would put drug dealers out of business.

It is well documented that a person can choose [or meditate, positive power or suggestion, etc.] to reduce the stress in ones mind. Ex. Great courses, Practicing Mindfulness, The Science of Mindfulness, or Mayo Clinics, Stress Free living, etc. There are volumes of materials to teach us to reduce stress. Stress puts mental and physical strain on the body which will lead or cause great unhappiness.

Remove the stressors [by choice] and help yourself be happy. I am not claiming a person can release endorphins by some mind trick, but I wouldn't be entirely surprised.

Conversely, get out of bed every day bitter at the world grumpy and with a negative attitude, and your misery will keep you company.

Your contention that endorphins aren't released without external stimuli I would also disagree with. I think that a man having a "wet dream" is a good example.

In this article;http://science.howstuffworks.com/life/endorphins.htm "Endorphins are produced as a response to certain stimuli, especially stress, fear or pain." Ergo, you can affect your own happiness.

Isn't that why people get into cutting themselves because the pain releases endorphins?

It got me to thinking about my shins being pretty "cut up". Not from actually cutting them but just being tall and clumsy, i inevitably bang them into some rock while out hiking. Like maybe the real reason I like to hike is cause it releases endorphins into my system from merely being clumsy.

Quote: Romes

. Since we don't have any comprehensive studies with larger amounts of data (over 50 million couples/etc), we can draw wild conclusions for either side..

Very few studies even come close to such a sample set on anything. And that would only be things gathered from a census probably. Or maybe taxes.

Further down you stated a conclusion with even worse data gathering.

Quote:

I believe I'm right when I say this is most marriages. Thus, overall marriage does not make anyone live longer. It can for some, but not for the masses, in my opinion.

Just sayin', you can diss the CDC but the alternative seems even more unsupported.

100 million people (50 million couples) is roughly 1/3 of the total population. I would hope we could calculate the number and kind of fish in the various great lakes without netting a third of them.

I would also note that people like Nate Silver get pretty good proven results (so far) with much smaller sample sets than a 1/3. There you can actually look at the result of sampling and see if it held.

Quote: rudeboyoi

Isn't that why people get into cutting themselves because the pain releases endorphins?

It got me to thinking about my shins being pretty "cut up". Not from actually cutting them but just being tall and clumsy, i inevitably bang them into some rock while out hiking. Like maybe the real reason I like to hike is cause it releases endorphins into my system from merely being clumsy.

IDK, I knew a "cutter", I think she was doing it to punish herself? I try to stay away from getting cut, unsuccessfully at times?

I think just the walking increases the blood flow and exercise will release adrenalin. Sure, there is a physical response [endorphins] to pain.

Quote: TwoFeathersATL

I guess I'm one of the two you referred to in your post. Am I happier because I'm married? Hhmmmmm, can't say for sure because I can't be on both sides of the same equation simultaneously. My best guess, is "yes". I'll go with yes Alex for 1000.....

This is a perfect example of why I don't believe this myth "married men are happier"

Some are some are not.


Hopefully no man will get married thinking he will or won't be happier.

for the lawyers -- why not start writing contracts for people living together, dating?

Why do agreements generally only start at marriage? Or do they? Seems they do, mostly.

If there is one thing useful from this thread - it's noting a complaint about "expectations". Maybe you need a hard copy. You didn't get it in writing.

Goes for both sides though.