Deuces Wild but pays on Jacks or better?

The machines at the bar where I play have only 2 games; Deuces Wild and Raise poker. Both pay on Jacks or better (seriously). Obviously older machines but I can't find calculators, pay tables or simulators, etc,. for either of these games anywhere online Any ideas?

If deuces are wild and it pays on jacks or better, then there's a 99.999% chance it isn't a class III video poker machine where the card distribution reflects the true odds. No simulator is going to help you figure out the return on the machine, but I'm sure it's abysmal.

Can you post the paytable?

And what is "raise poker"? :-\ I would proceed with caution as sabre suggests. The area of the US or country where this is located may also be helpful.

I'll try to get a pay table posted.

I live in the MD/DC/VA metro area.

Raise Poker (the only other game besides Deuces Wild on both machines in the establishment) is basically Jacks or Better, with an option to "raise" (that is, double one's bet) after the deal.

Look, guys, I understand these are unregulated machines and as such may have no more predictability than any non-poker slot machine. I play for an hour or two during my once-a-week happy hour bust-out, have for years. Won some, lost some (OK, lost more) but nothing problematic. Semi-regularly hit 5 of a kind and Royal Flushes. Just trying to see if I can improve my odds a little. I've practiced on online Deuces Wild simulators, and stick to those rules pretty much when playing the machines, but the simulators all pay on 3 of a kind or better, not jacks, and I have never even seen a "Raise poker" simulator anywhere, and believe me, I've looked.

There are casinos in the area and a couple times a years I'll stop in and play those machines but my (admittedly non-scientific, subjective) feeling is that I do better at the bar. Not to mention that I just enjoy the total experience more. So, I don't want to waste the time of any serious gamblers, not trying to make anyone's head explode, but if anyone could point me to a calculator, simulator, or even an algorithm I'd be grateful.

where is this bar located?
city/state?

I don't feel like I should be any more specific than I already have.

DEUCES WILD
Natural Royal.....250
Five of a kind.....150
Royal Flush.........100
Straight Flush.....50
Four of a kind.....25
Full house............10
Flush........................8
Straight...................5
Three of a kind....3
Two pair.................2
Jacks or better.....1

RAISE POKER
Natural Royal.....350
Five of a kind.....250
Royal Flush.........200
Straight Flush.....50
Four of a kind.....25
Full house............10
Flush........................8
Straight..................5
Three of a kind....3
Two pair.................2
Jacks or better.....1

Thanks for any input

The paytables are irrelevant if your goal is to calculate the return of these machines. To prove they don't follow expected card distribution, track how often a hand contains at least one deuce. Approximately a third of all starting hands should contain at least one deuce. My guess is you won't see close to that.

My goal is to determine if there are any best practice plays at all that will increase my expected return. As I explained in an earlier post, for reasons unrelated to gambling, I am going to continue to play those 2 machines for a bit on Saturday afternoons. Anecdotal evidence, gathered over a couple of years, indicates that they will pay off at a rate which, while not always what I hope for (is it ever?) also does not lead me to say "to Hell with this, I'm just throwing my money away". I just want to know if there's anything I can do to optimize my play.

Thanks again.

If the machine isn't dealing cards fairly, then there's nothing you can do to increase your expected return.

That first pay table returns over 400% WITHOUT counting the payoffs for 2 pair and jacks or better.

The cards aren't dealt fairly.

Therefore there is NOTHING you can do to increase your expectation.

Maybe the returns he posted are for betting 5 coins not 1 coin:-)

Quote: Hunterhill

Maybe the returns he posted are for betting 5 coins not 1 coin:-)

And how many coins need to be played for these payouts?

I have no idea.

Quote: JarvisAyling

My goal is to determine if there are any best practice plays at all that will increase my expected return. As I explained in an earlier post, for reasons unrelated to gambling, I am going to continue to play those 2 machines for a bit on Saturday afternoons. Anecdotal evidence, gathered over a couple of years, indicates that they will pay off at a rate which, while not always what I hope for (is it ever?) also does not lead me to say "to Hell with this, I'm just throwing my money away". I just want to know if there's anything I can do to optimize my play.

Thanks again.

You would know within 30 minutes or less if the game was random or not. The game would be + EV without the deuces wild. The worst player would beat it silly. The correct strategy seems like it might be very complicated.