Blogger Obituary

I've just learned that Carmen Cincotta, the former blogger at Carmen Sin City, died last November of an idiosyncratic reaction to an ingredient in her very much stepped on heroin.

As a teenager she made a mistake in a night club and put a Black Beauty into her purse rather than have it found at the table she and her friends were sitting at. Arrested that Saturday-night for a traffic offense, her purse was searched and by 9:15am Monday morning she was stripped of her security clearance and fired from the NSA.

After having been fired she started using drugs eventually graduating to heroin. Her poker blog featured humor, rescue dogs and Vegas swimming pools. She also commented on some of her battles involving drugs, drug charges and rehabilitation efforts. She generally attended AA-type meetings at least once a day.

Occasionally her high school classmates would visit her and bring her up to date on NSA matters. She learned all her former job mates were wealthy, married, had kids and now held highly responsible jobs with the NSA. She enjoyed the occasional visits and never shed a tear when her former coworkers visited her, but often cried for weeks after they left.

Nowadays there would be drug counseling but back then her country fired her and some felt it was a harsh penalty. Throughout her career of slinging hash, playing poker, blogging about poker, serving stints in rehab, jail and prison she was considered quick witted and humorous, but always returned to drugs to dull the pain of having lost the only job she ever wanted to have. She started dying as a teenager when she was escorted out of the NSA building and finally completed the task in Las Vegas at age 43.

RIP

I'm curious as to where you got all these details from. HS classmates also in the NSA?? I would be shocked if any of my high school classmates would be part of the NSA. And would the NSA hire many people without a BS degree???

And I pretty much screwed up my dream job. But no one gives a crap about that or my PhD education. I haven't died yet...but then again, I'm only 36.

Quote: tringlomane

I'm curious as to where you got all these details from. HS classmates also in the NSA?? I would be shocked if any of my high school classmates would be part of the NSA. And would the NSA hire many people without a BS degree???

And I pretty much screwed up my dream job. But no one gives a crap about that or my PhD education. I haven't died yet...but then again, I'm only 36.

I wouldn't think losing a job would drive you to drugs there's usually something else involved. With street drugs it's nothing more than a choice. I lost my job is just an excuse period.

High School graduates were often hired by the NSA since the rich enclaves in Maryland offered the sons and daughters of stable, reliable government employees.

I quite agree as to ''choice'' however these infernal twelve step programs such as AA and the like erase all vestiges of self respect and keep people in the drug culture. Her conversation was drugs, her friends were all from teh drug world, the drugs are freely available inside the rehab programs and inside the custodial rehab housing units. Her friends would get her back to using drugs. Her boyfriend borrowed a large sum of money from her parents and left her the next day. Druggies can't be trusted.

Anyone really wanting to get off drugs usually has to make a radical change in geography and adopt new friends, new habits and above all, new interests. See some movies such as Trainspotting, Slackers, Stella Does Tricks, etc. Returning to the same neighborhood and same friends marks them as an outsider who now doesn't even use the same vocabulary.

I reluctantly agree with Axel. I have seen too many lives destroyed by drugs. Everyone has addictions in life, but religion, family, even AP play can be a destructive force in your life.

Just say NO is the stupidest advice ever given. As though the victims of addiction prefer to be in the grip of drugs.

Had very little to do with a job loss and so much to do with drugs.

Quote: AxelWolf

I wouldn't think losing a job would drive you to drugs there's usually something else involved. With street drugs it's nothing more than a choice. I lost my job is just an excuse period.

People with a predisposition to substance abuse just need that one event or trigger and its pretty much a done deal. Its not that is an excuse or puts someone else at fault, its just the reality of the situation.

Quote: DiscreteMaths2

People with a predisposition to substance abuse just need that one event or trigger and its pretty much a done deal. Its not that is an excuse or puts someone else at fault, its just the reality of the situation.

Sometimes the trigger is the high itself. Had a friend did drugs once. He said he knew if he did them again he would wind up dead.
Thinks of the sports or rock stars who had everything to live for. Had a friend Bucky W who was found dead at 19 from OD, just dumped out of a car in the park. I had to tell old man W later. that if another drug dealer turned up dead in his neighborhood, my uncle, a police commander would have to investigate fully. Plus nothing would ever bring Bucky back.. SIGH

Most addicts are not addicted to the heroin they are addicted to the needle.

I've known one university professor whose been using heroin for decades, never in his life has he ever been strung out or a "junkie", but he does his gardening and mowing high.

Drugs cost her her job??? She had a black beauty in her PURSE, only tried drugs AFTER she was fired then she did alcohol and drugs, particularly drugs.

Was it a choice when courts sent her to the AA frauds? Was it a choice? Yes. She particularly seemed unskilled in developing a source, often getting arrested more times than any other user. Too trusting of her fellow druggies that set her up to score points with the cops?

She probably should have worked at an animal shelter; she would have loved it and it would have kept her away from drugs. Trouble is: it would have kept her away from her beloved keno too. (Video Keno). When she first hit Vegas she was enamored of the Quarter Pusher machine until a casino 'exec' told her it wasn't really gambling.

If nobody else will shed a tear for her, I will. At least she has left this veil of tears. SIGH

Tears? I don't know. A number of members of this forum (or former members) knew her far better than I did and had much more personal contact with her enabling them to see the effects the drugs were having on her.

No one has any real solution to the drug problem, there are too many greedy hands perpetuating it.

It was strange for me to act as her moral compass when we had never met, but she did confide in me a great deal and she reveal a great deal of her troubles in her blog over the years.

Quote: FleaStiff

Tears? I don't know. A number of members of this forum (or former members) knew her far better than I did and had much more personal contact with her enabling them to see the effects the drugs were having on her.

No one has any real solution to the drug problem, there are too many greedy hands perpetuating it.

It was strange for me to act as her moral compass when we had never met, but she did confide in me a great deal and she reveal a great deal of her troubles in her blog over the years.

Considering the stories of her life you have shared, are you sure? I never heard of this chick and I have spent most of this decade adsorbed into some gambling vice including live/online poker? And the the story of the casino exec and the quarter pusher machine? The exec told her it wasn't gambling? Was that a bad choice of words on his part? It definitely IS gambling! The Wiz and Bluejay wrote a page on it. And last time I met up with djatc last time at Excal, we met up at the "Fun Dungeon" for some "Crazy Taxi", but when he saw token pushing machines, he initially thought they were quarter pushing machines for real money instead of prize tickets. He seemed a little sad when I told him the truth...lol "No casino gambling in the arcade, man"...lol

When she was new in town she became enamored of the Quarter Pushing Machine but was told that it was for tourists and that its not real gambling. Whether that statement is true or not or whether there is some AP edge to it, is not the point. It merely reflects her somewhat naive attitudes upon her arrival in Vegas. She was a regular at one of the Dotty's places (ice cream soda and a twenty into the machine). Once when she was newly out of the detention center and had to spend her money on 'commissary', she dropped into the local Dotty's for just the ice cream soda and they gave her a twenty to put into the machine.

She was well known in several local casinos and several poker rooms. Often wore a 'yet another day and I've never used any algebra' tee shirt. She reviewed poker rooms and pool parties but never escaped the grasp of the drug world. When she graduated to heroin things started hitting her hard. A downward spiral for sure.

Quote: tringlomane

Considering the stories of her life you have shared, are you sure?

Some snippets of our email exchanges when I tried to cheer her up as she was about to go to Night Court or about to enter Freedom House, a drug "rehab" center or just when she was down and needed an electronic shoulder to cry on.

to me
Hi Flea Flea Jelly bee, Sneaky g String, Broken Wing. Ha ha. I wont quit my day job!!!!
[Yeah, Poetess she was not. Sense of humor about it though.]

Anyway, how is your weekend going????? My day started off so very bad. I'm still not sleeping very well and it's starting to catch up to me. Like, back in the day when I used to freaking be normal I slept all the time. I mean, really, my mom suffers from insomnia but I never have. Sleeping has always been a favorite of my past times.

So, one of the side effects of coming off heroin is that you don't sleep well. I never really understood it until this time. I've kicked H before, but I usually had something to help with the side effects like methadone or suboxen. And, not to mention I've been going at it very STRONG for more than two years.

I literally sleep like an hour or two a night. and sometimes it's in 15 minute increments. I'm not enjoying it. I also have RLS - jimmy legs. That's annoying as hell too.

I'm at the parents house right now but I'm headed home any minute. If you give me your phone number I can text you a picture of my really cool roommate. she highlighted my hair last night. I love her! She saved me because I would have totally FUCKED it up.


Going to meeting. gotta run.

Carmen

WE LOVE KENO!
[Restless Legs Syndrome: Magnesium deficiency and Hypocretin1 OrexinA deficiency.]
[I always teased her about her playing Keno and Cleopatra Keno]


to Carmen
Hi PokerGirl,

I'm sure you've heard the term "kicking the habit". The Restless Legs Syndrome is bad enough but the kicking of kicking the habit does indicate that heroin withdrawal will affect your leg muscles. The sleep problems ... well, you can look up rostroventrolateral medulla if you really want to. Best is just to take some melatonin. It doesn't require an Rx but it is a bit expensive and be sure they will allow you to posess it at Freedom House.

Why were you going strong for two years? Did it ever occur to you to simply stop?

I bet you could have checked out that Cannery Dude in a heartbeat if you had really wanted to.

Does Freedom House shave your head upon entry or is stuff like that simply obsolete in drug treatment these days? Thats what they used to do to guys in Synanon long ago. Guys had their head shaved, girls looked line Marines. But you just had your hair done anyway so why did you need highlighting? Is that the stuff they use aluminum foil for?

So good luck fighting your addiction to Keno and Heroin.

s/FleaStiff


Carmen Cincotta to me
Ha ha. You are so obviously not an addict. When u said didnt it ever
occur to me to quit? Um. Yeah i knew i needed to quit but i just put
it off because i couldnt imagine living without it. I absolutely love
the way it makes me feel and best of all i like what it does to my
head. Shuts it off

Well on November 20th of 2015, drugs shut her brain off permanently.
Maybe that was a relief to her.
On teh 19th she contacted MxxxxDxx to get her out of town, but then
she decided to take a final hit of heroin to hold her over until he got there.

.........................................................................
Perhaps some of these snippets will provide insight, perhaps not.
I used to tell her that insight and two dollars will get you a cup of coffee.

Flea, .................... words fail me. On behalf of her family and friends THANKS

In a certain way, I guess I've been generous.
Used to live near a school for the arts and often scholarship checks would run out before the month did, so I'd have lunch at the school's sandwich counter and hand out twenties to the needy.
I'd tip fairly generously in Vegas though one crew let me stand there in the early days and after a very long run I made five dollars, so they got no tips at all. Thats the crew that said "if he knew what he was doing he could have really hurt us"... and then complained that I had not tipped them. No wonder that place was deserted.

I've given spare change and I've done the 'Yes, I have plenty. I got it by working" routine.

My encouragement to the Poker/Dogs/Drugs blogger was meant to be of assistance to her; I don't know if it ever was. I do not favor the twelve steps particularly when step one involves "admitting we are helpless against drugs". It simply denies reality and takes all individuality and power away from the addict but then asks them to 'just say no' while leaving them in the midst of drug culture fostered by the state.

I don't think her family knew of me, she mentioned me to only a few of her friends, she said I sounded like her father but my sentences were too long and my vocabulary far too varied plus my typing was far too good for me to actually be her father. When I emailed her about Freedom House only a half hour past her parent's paying the first month's rent for her, she thought I was stalking her and had to be working at Night Court. I had glimpses into the thinking and actions of a troubled young(ish) woman who was a drug addict. Was I trying to save her from drugs? Perhaps. Was I taking a very harsh moral stand of no nicotine, no caffeine, no alcohol, no drugs? Yes, but I think that is where her problems started.

Did I succeed? Obviously not. Did I secretly wish her luck with her Cleopatra Keno? Of course.

These are just snippets into the drug world from the point of view of a person who made just one mistake in a world wherein no mistakes are tolerated. I too made a mistake in a world wherein no mistakes are tolerated which is why I refer to myself in my blog as beyond redemption or salvation.

Alcohol? sure. Antidepressants? Most definitely. But heroin or even 'pot'? No way! That is not for me.
Perhaps those who use street drugs are braver than most; perhaps not. I just know its never been a world for me.

This is one of the best articles I've read on the subject.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/johann-hari/the-real-cause-of-addicti_b_6506936.html

Basic idea is that drugs don't really cause addiction, deep unhappiness does.

Makes a lot of sense I think. Normal person takes a drug. They feel great for a while and have fun, then go back to normal. A deeply unhappy person takes a drug, and they go from being miserable to feeling great. Now they are confronted with going back to misery and it seems even worse than before. So they return to the drug. Her passage about "turning off" her head made me think of that.

I still think you might find drugs of choice that make this disparity even greater for you. But this also explains why so many addicts are people with mental health issues, personal traumas, or just people who have had a lot of rough breaks, or a combination.

But, if this article is right, the way to treat drug addiction should be more oriented towards fixing your unhappiness. In many cases, this might not be possible, of course. But it would be more effective than just targeting the drug use.

" I refer to myself in my blog as beyond redemption or salvation. "

I reserve that judgement for pedophiles. Their victims are harmed forever.

Oddly enough, someone dug this post up from the past and sent it to me this morning:

xxxxxxxxxxx

Why can't the Judge give her credit for the hundreds upon hundreds of hours of twelve step meetings? Five years in prison? She has already done twenty years of meetings! How about some credit for time served. And don't tell me those stupid meetings are not "doin' time". They are! She will be in prison when her dog dies wondering what he did wrong for her to leave him. When all she and the dog ever had in life was each other, that is known as doing hard time.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

This was when she had a "wobblie" or "wobbly"... ie a criminal charge that was a misdemeanor headed to drug court or a felony headed to a real court. You ever try to get a job in Vegas with a felony conviction on your record. During the depths of a depression.

A current member who is one of "The Disappeared" once said she was very unlucky. Perhaps so.

Some clarifications:

I'm told she was not all that great a poker player, but I don't think any of the men on this forum who knew her (or should I be more frank and say "knew her") did anything to help her improve her skill level. They just made use of her body and fully noticed her deteriorating condition. Her blog was popular but there was a time when zillions of poker blogs were popular. She was frequently absent from her blog due to brief incarcerations at the House of Detention wherein breakfast is at 3:00am and she always had to "eat commissary'' because the General Population Mess Hall was too violent. This lead to weight problems since commissary is junk food only. Forcing a female to put on weight is hardly a way to get her off drugs, but no one really cares about getting them off drugs; its all a facade.

Dotty's is notorious for being a skinflint when it comes to comps, but several times they had a twenty for her when she was fresh out of detention. It was her friends who generally helped get her back on drugs, but Dotty just gave her money for the machines and didn't charge her for the ice cream soda. She awaited her check from Google for her blog each month, but soon the amounts dwindled particularly as the poker boom fizzled and the pool parties got harder to crash.

Quote: Rigondeaux

Basic idea is that drugs don't really cause addiction, deep unhappiness does.

Yes, and she didn't actually DO any drugs at all until after she had been fired. She always wanted to "shut her brain off" because her brain kept reminding her of her one mistake that had cost her so much.

Deep unhappiness can not be ended overnight and wallowing in the world of twelve step meetings will never end unhappiness.

Now we have fentanyl and drug counselors dying from over doses of it. In many rural areas the drug trade is simple: everybody in town either makes it, sells it or prosecutes it. Ain't no other jobs around. We have emergency federal funds but all it results in is Patient Brokers who give free airline tickets to Massachusetts drug addicts and enroll them in Palm Beach County drug rehab mills at ten grand a week until the insurane coverage runs out. Palm Beach County has 800 rehab centers and zillions of twelve step meetings. Its just a growth industry that kills patients instead of curing them.

The Fentanyl laced heroine overdoses have been crazy in PA lately. A few cops have OD'd from doing searches and coming in contact with the stuff.

Perhaps bump of the year.

Quote: gamerfreak

The Fentanyl laced heroin overdoses have been crazy in PA lately. A few cops have OD'd from doing searches and coming in contact with the stuff.

Yes, the synthetic forms coming from China are so powerful that a little goes a long way and mere ambient air currents can waft a dose that is lethal.

completely agree

Quote: ann07cor

completely agree

I hope you do realize that most of those well publicized incidents were alarmists. Cops and ambulance attendants are not keeling over at arrival.

Quote: russion

bump of the year.

?????
She is dead.
None of her lovers presently or formerly active on this forum had any obligation to improve her poker game.
She never did use any algebra.
She wanted her brain turned off by drugs.
Before she eventually got it permanently turned off by drugs we exchanged a couple of dozen emails and I frequented posted on her poker/pools/male betrayal/drugs blog.
We had some interesting and entertaining discussions but they didn't help get her out of the drug world.
What's more to be said.

Quote: FleaStiff

I hope you do realize that most of those well publicized incidents were alarmists. Cops and ambulance attendants are not keeling over at arrival.

????

I disagree. There have been quite a few incidents of this happening locally.

Even small amounts of Fentanyl and Carfentanil coming into contact with skin can cause an overdose.

We carry extra narcan now that is specifically designated to be used on responders and not patients.

New Mexico actually requires all police to carry Naloxone. Unwise legislation inspired by tabloid headlines.

"...headlines are stoking fears that a momentary brush with a tiny amount of fentanyl powder could prove fatal.

The synthetic opioid, blamed for increasing numbers of overdose deaths across the U.S., is 50 to 100 times more potent than morphine. But experts consulted by STAT said many of the reported incidents appear to be false alarms that run counter to scientific fact and exaggerate the risks.

The American College of Medical Toxicology recently issued a position paper concluding that, based on what’s been publicly released, none of the recent incidents involving first responders is consistent with opioid toxicity. ... "

Quote: FleaStiff

I hope you do realize that most of those well publicized incidents were alarmists. Cops and ambulance attendants are not keeling over at arrival.

I hope you realize that you probably responded to a bot.

Quote: GWAE

I hope you realize that you probably responded to a bot.

That never occurred to me and I do not think it is true.

To Fleastiff,
I believe you replied to a web site promoter (russion, or something like that) who had posted 20 or so one line or one word responses to a random selection of posts, just so he could get his post count enough to spam with html link to his site. It seems he's banned now and all his posts removed. There's a similar poster just before you in this thread (ann07cor.) who seems to have survived, but looks to have been trying the same trick.

Quote: FleaStiff

Nowadays there would be drug counseling but back then her country fired her and some felt it was a harsh penalty. Throughout her career of slinging hash, playing poker, blogging about poker, serving stints in rehab, jail and prison she was considered quick witted and humorous, but always returned to drugs to dull the pain of having lost the only job she ever wanted to have. She started dying as a teenager when she was escorted out of the NSA building and finally completed the task in Las Vegas at age 43.

RIP

For some reason I've been thinking about those who make one mistake when they live in a world where none are allowed. Wish I could stop.

Very sad story. Wish she could have turned it around. RIP.

Quote: FleaStiff

For some reason I've been thinking about those who make one mistake when they live in a world where none are allowed. Wish I could stop.

She made a lot of mistakes. Not one.

Quote: sabre

She made a lot of mistakes. Not one.

So have I. i'm really focusing on the wrong decisions, not some lomg ago blogger.

Quote: FleaStiff

High School graduates were often hired by the NSA since the rich enclaves in Maryland offered the sons and daughters of stable, reliable government employees.

She learned all her former job mates were wealthy, now held highly responsible jobs with the NSA.

Federal Government employees in the DC area are not rich except possibly at the highest levels - Presidential appointees -
they may be very comfortable - but not what people would generally consider rich

in the DC area the rich are lawyers at the partner level, some high level Doctors, Surgeons and others who are very active in business; Lobbyists, and a few very successful business people such as real estate developers

you're talking about people who easily have a net worth of greater than $15 million

this elite group does not generally include Federal Government employees - they aren't invited to the cocktail parties of the rich






anyway it was an interesting story about this lady

Quote: lilredrooster

. . . .. .... .......anyway it was an interesting story about this lady

I'm more concerned with MY failures in a no mistakes allowed situation.
Sept 11th still weighs heavy upon me.

Quote: FleaStiff

I'm more concerned with MY failures in a no mistakes allowed situation.
Sept 11th still weighs heavy upon me.

Are you saying a failure of yours contributed to the 9/11 disaster? If so, I would love to hear the story.

Quote: DRich

Are you saying a failure of yours contributed to the 9/11 disaster? If so, I would love to hear the story.

It is all in my 09/10/ Treason Thread dealing with my adventures in a computer lounge in Seattle Wa. You and SOOPOO have markedly different views of my veracity. My blog has always had a variety of references to that incident.

Quote: lilredrooster

anyway it was an interesting story about this lady

As with 80% of our addicts they are self identfid. If they don't get into drug diversion programs, they do just fine.
Most will relapse because they go from rehab to the same friends, same hopeless jobs, same friends with same values.

Trainspotting, Stella does Tricks, etc.