Vegas Haiku
It's an ancient contest with no winners and losers, but much face for the most expressive or elegant thought.
For those unfamiliar, haiku is 17 syllables. The first line has 5, second has 7, third has 5.
Here's a start.
Vegas in summer
Pavement shimmers in the heat
Night brings cool relief.
Water dancing to the beat
At Bellagio
There are fancier hookers
Than at the longhorn
As stars gleam in desert air
A white orb spins around
(Edit: Dammit, I took too long)
When marking Jackpot Winners
W-2 they must fill
A zombie job, broken dreams
Beam me up, Scotty.
Quote: RSAt Bellagio
There are fancier hookers
Than at the longhorn
Than, at the Longhorn
Ran, out of toilet paper
Bad luck for Thai guys
Beam me up, ScottyQuote: MrVW-2 they must fill
A zombie job, broken dreams
Beam me up, Scotty.
Star Trek: the Experience,
It is now defunct
Quote: AlexRBeam me up, Scotty
Star Trek: the Experience,
It is now defunct
It is now defunct;
The Desert Inn has yielded
To Encore and Wynn.
The player only exists in space
As a number.
Quote: AyecarumbaThan, at the Longhorn
Ran, out of toilet paper
Bad luck for Thai guys
Bad luck for Thai guys
Six and one show on the dice
Dealer sweeps the chips
Quote: unJonBad luck for Thai guys
Six and one show on the dice
Dealer sweeps the chips
Dealer sweeps the chips
Moans of disgust fill the air
Don't pass smiles inside
Quote: beachbumbabsDealer sweeps the chips
Moans of disgust fill the air
Don't pass smiles inside
Don't pass smiles inside
"What a c@#$" we say as one
Let's have his head off.
Quote: MoscaTo Encore and Wynn
The player only exists in space
As a number.
I really like this one, Mosca, but the last line is too short. Can I suggest "a faceless number" or something like that?
Quote: beachbumbabsI really like this one, Mosca, but the last line is too short. Can I suggest "a faceless number" or something like that?
Sure! I just woke up when I wrote it, I actually edited it a few times to get the meter right for the second line but still got it wrong, and forgot to fix the third line. Kind of like people who don’t understand the meter of a limerick, either.
To Encore and Wynn
The player exists in space
And time as money.
That’ll be a challenge for the next one, I suppose.
Got me thinking about fewest word haiku. I came up with,
Mathematical
Maneuverability...
Intimidation.
Kinda hard.
There is one 17 syllable word in English. I suppose it could be a haiku if you pronounce it with a lilt:
hippopoto
monstrosesquipeda
liophobia
Quote: FaceDon't pass smiles inside
"What a c@#$" we say as one
Let's have his head off.
Let's have his head off.
For at third base one does not
split deuces, threes, nor eights.
To Encore and Wynn
The player exists in space
And time as money.
And time as money
Car stuck in Vegas traffic
Our EV slips away.
Even the ugly turtles
Turtles GOAT in vegas
Quote: WizardLet's have his head off.
For at third base one does not
split deuces, threes, nor eights.
Split deuces, threes, nor eights
The joys of Martingaling
I'll win the next one
Quote: Indy70Mosca
And time as money
Car stuck in Vegas traffic
Our EV slips away.
Our EV slips away
Only 6/5 tables left
Vegas now a ruin
Quote: Gabes22Split deuces, threes, nor eights
The joys of Martingaling
I'll win the next one
I'll win the next one,
Or perhaps the one after
Could you spare a buck?
Corporate culture rules all
Bean counters kill fun
Quote: JoemanI'll win the next one,
Or perhaps the one after
Could you spare a buck?
Could you spare a buck?
With a little bit of luck,
I can get even.
[Edited to change last line syllable count. ]
Quote: unJonCould you spare a buck?
With a little bit of luck,
I’m sure to get even.
I'm sure to get even
Just need to raise up my bets
Where's the ATM
Quote: Gabes22I'm sure to get even
Just need to raise up my bets
Where's the ATM
Where's the ATM?
And, a card that won't decline;
My ass is on tilt.
Quote: Mission146Where's the ATM?
And, a card that won't decline;
My ass is on tilt.
My ass is on tilt
I use the EvenBob system
Lose on green everytime
Quote: DRichMy ass is on tilt
I use the EvenBob system
Lose on green everytime
Lose on green every time
Roll it, smoke it, straddle blind
Where did my chips go?
Quote: unJonLose on green every time
Roll it, smoke it, straddle blind
Where did my chips go?
Where did my chips go?
Had them a minute ago;
But lost on one throw.
Quote: Mission146Where did my chips go?
Had them a minute ago;
But lost on one throw.
But lost on one throw
Martingale won’t let me down
Butt lost on throw two
Butt lost on throw twoQuote: AyecarumbaBut lost on one throw
Martingale won’t let me down
Butt lost on throw two
Martingale won't let me down
But lost on throw three
Quote: RomesButt lost on throw two
Martingale won't let me down
But lost on throw three
But lost on throw three,
Bumped my bet up to eighty;
Then I lost again.
Quote: Mission146But lost on throw three,
Bumped my bet up to eighty;
Then I lost again.
Then I lost again.
Martingale again, again.
Table limit. Broke.
Then I lost again.Quote: Mission146But lost on throw three,
Bumped my bet up to eighty;
Then I lost again.
Throw four must be my big score
Oh no lost big again
Quote: RomesThen I lost again.
Throw four must be my big score
Oh no lost big again
Back in the day, you'd be playing your favorite LP. Swinging with it, and abruptly the needle would skip and repeat.
We seem to be there.
Oh no lost big again
Jackpot! Screams the PaiGow game
Players jumping up
Quote: beachbumbabs
Oh no lost big again
Jackpot! Screams the PaiGow game
Players jumping up
Players jumping up,
Slot machine ladies are nuts;
Only won ten bucks.
Quote: Mission146Players jumping up,
Slot machine ladies are nuts;
Only won ten bucks.
Only one ten bucks
Didn’t want to bet all those yos
Eighteen times, layed off
Quote: unJonThen I lost again.
Martingale again, again.
Table limit. Broke.
Table limit. Broke.
Long walk under neon signs
Daylight turns Strip brown
Quote: unJonOnly one ten bucks
Didn’t want to bet all those yos
Eighteen times, layed off
Eighteen times laid off
Porn slapping brings in some dough
Gave me a T-shirt
Quote: AyecarumbaEighteen times laid off
Porn slapping brings in some dough
Gave me a T-shirt
Gave me a T-Shirt,
For earning eight hundred points;
Whilst losing three grand.
Quote: Mission146Gave me a T-Shirt,
For earning eight hundred points;
Whilst losing three grand.
Whilst losing three grand
Not even a look by a host
Isn't that just the most!
Quote: Mission146Gave me a T-Shirt,
For earning eight hundred points;
Whilst losing three grand.
Whilst losing three grand,
Slot machine bells and sirens
Seduce me again.
Quote: Indy70Whilst losing three grand
Not even a look by a host
Isn't that just the most!
Isn’t that just the most,
Some guy trying to pastpost;
Down at the Suncoast?
Quote: theoriemeisterWhilst losing three grand,
Slot machine bells and sirens
Seduce me again.
Seduce me again,
Porn slappers offer a thrill;
And I’ve time to kill.
Quote: Mission146Seduce me again,
Porn slappers offer a thrill;
And I’ve time to kill.
And I’ve got time to kill
Lady Luck took all my funds
Bus leaves in three hours
Quote: Mission146Isn’t that just the most,
Some guy trying to pastpost;
Down at the Suncoast?
Down at the Suncoast
A stones throw to Rampart
Golf carts provided.
Quote: Indy70Down at the Suncoast
A stones throw to Rampart
Golf carts provided.
Golf carts provided
4:30 a.m. tee time
Why are we out here?
Quote: Indy70Down at the Suncoast
A stones throw to Rampart
Golf carts provided.
Golf carts provided
But only to the villas
High rollers don't walk.
Quote: beachbumbabsGolf carts provided
But only to the villas
High rollers don't walk.
High rollers don't walk
More Dinero from the cage
After Maker's Mark.
Quote: beachbumbabsGolf carts provided
But only to the villas
High rollers don't walk.
High Rollers don’t walk
Circle of lights at the Quad
Round trip to nowhere
