What's he hiding?

I have been dating a guy that is 10 years older than me for 3 months now. I'm in my mid-thirties. He started talking about us being in a long-term, committed relationship basically from our first date. He travels a lot for work so I only see him a few times during each week. But, it is starting to bother me that he spends very little time with me on the weekends. He has taken me out once on a Friday and let me stay over at his place. And once he let me come over for a few hours on another Friday. He has spent no time with me on Saturdays. Sundays he only wants to do something late in the day (after 7:00).

I believe he really cares for me and I really care for him. He always says he's falling for me, wants to be with me for a long time, blah blah blah.

I have never met any of his friends.

Is he hiding something or taking things really slow?

I would love your thoughts. My friends don't think he's cheating on me but they think it is weird. I've tried to break up with him a few times over it but he always says things will get better soon.

I'd bet he is seeing somebody else he likes better. However, he is not sure if that relationship will last, so is keeping you around as his fall-back plan. If it is like this after three months I don't see it getting better. I say cut your losses and break it off.

>He started talking about us being in a long-term, committed relationship basically from our first date.
And warning bells didn't go off then?????????

>He travels a lot for work so I only see him a few times during each week.
> But, it is starting to bother me that he spends very little time with me on the weekends.
Have you met his wife yet?
Have you ever phoned him on the weekends? Does he ever answer right away or just call you back later?

If you've never met his friends then he either doesn't have any friends or he is afraid of something his friends would say to you, such as talking about his other girlfriends or his wife or his weekends in jail.

Quote: SMARTYPANTS2011

He always says he's falling for me, wants to be with me for a long time, blah blah blah.

If you are cynical enough about it to get to blah blah blah, you surely can't be surprised that we all think you are a sideshow.

Quote:

My friends don't think he's cheating on me but they think it is weird.

why are they giving him this benefit of the doubt?

If he has a cellphone evidently there may be a log of his texting he is unaware of. See if he gets busted with that! The last 4 or so women who came here about their boyfriends had done just that, so if you ask your girlfriends, they should know how you do that.

Looks like he drops off the kids with the ex-wife at 6 on Sundays, then has time for you at 7.

I personally think he's hiding something from you, although I'm not sure if it's a wife, girlfriend, kids, or what. Are you sure that he's actually traveling out of town for work? That could be a lie to spend time with someone else.

I think the biggest red flag is not having met any of his friends yet. After three months, I'd think you would have met at least one or two of them. What about any of his family? (Brothers, sisters, parents) Have you met any of them yet? Does he talk about his friends & family to you? If not, that's another red flag.

Even if he's being honest with you and just taking things slowly, after three months you can reasonably expect to start getting a little deeper into his life. You will have to take the initiative and push for this.

I think it's time to do a little research of your own. Have you tried a Google search for him? Check out the property records for his address. If he owns a house and is married, his wife's name will show up there too. Does he have a Facebook page? What does it say about him?

Quote: Wizard

If it is like this after three months I don't see it getting better. I say cut your losses and break it off.

Excellent advice but I think the first step should be to discover just what the situation is and then to break it off. So a little work on his cell phone, his internet presence, the local phone book, etc. would be wise rather than just calling it quits without knowing.

hey Okay iv been seeing this guy for 2 years and he recenltly ended it becase of all the fights he says he just carnt do it anymore but he also saysd things like its going to kill me not to have you around or it just doesnt feel right without you but its for the best and we havent talked for a weeek but we are on talking terms now and he let me see him gaian but he told me we carnt keep doing it ... the only reason we fought was because of him and girls i dont trust him .... his best friend told me he had sex with this girl i asked him he lied he lied to muy face for months about it and he finally admited the truth and said it was cuz she diddnt want to loose me or hurt me but it diddnt mean anything and he diddnt actually have sex with her and he stoped talking to her for me he says he went to put it in but then he looked at her and just couldnt do it ..... now his talking to this girl on facebook everyones saying the had sex he swears its toalat b.s i think its b.s to but im not sure and now he tells me he likes this girl its his bestfriens he said he would do stuff with her and have sex with her but not yet .. but he wouldnt want to wreack their friendship .... and he never actually dated me but we kinda were together i came over to his house heapss im the only girls thats met his mum we usto just cuddle up and watch movies he says he thinks he loves me ..... it took 2 years for him to sAY it ... his never felt like he has about another girl of what he feels with me and im just wondering if i should ask him about these girels or leave it ... because i think if i show him their doesnt have to be fights he might want a relationship with me he also told me when he said its over that when he wants a relationship he wants to try with me again .... i have no clue whats going on or what to do ..... i have my feelings his getting with other girls but im not too sure i would be shocked if he did but i also wouldnt put it past him ... its been 2 years and he still isnt ready to date me but he got burnt preiit bad by his ex he says he just never wants to get hurt like that again and he feels like he already is dateing me and that he likes me more then anythother girl and everyone says he fucks round alot of girls but no one has ever actually seen him even get with a girl and he tells me his only had sex with 2 girls one of them me but i dont know and i know we have something deep i just carnt trust him what do i do i really want to be with him and his startting to open up to me well was :/ he says he just carnt handle me always grilling him about girls

so stop always grilling him about girls. Its obvious you are just one of several and anything he says in response to questions will rarely, if ever, be the truth.

its hard tho and out of the 2 years theirs only been 2 girls that have hurt me ... he doesnt really go around i just dont trust him .. :( if their are any other girls id be the main one but i just dont know hot to proove their are other girls .... like their just assumptions he says he doesnt hang with other girls and he tells me when he does its just on his faecbook he gets over friendly and makes me wonder if his seeing or doing anythign with them

and his usually a truthfull person he is always upfront to me i just carnt trust him after what he did and i am realllyyy jelosue he says it hurts him not trusting him

niketalee - I have two points of advice.

First, please take a remedial English class and learn about paragraphs, punctuation, capitalization, and run-on sentences. Your post was painful to read, and I'm not referring to the content.

Secondly - Either learn to trust the guy or dump him. If he's really a cheater, he won't change. If he's not, then you are just insulting him with your behavior, and he deserves better than you and will eventually dump you because of it.