Joined: Dec 27, 2010
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January 4th, 2012 at 9:22:05 PM permalink
I hope I don't throw anyone off by using whole words, the lack of caps lock and not making one, huge, wall o' text run on sentence, but here goes.

On Dec 17th, my son went in for surgery. Due to a comedy of miscommunication and misunderstandings, my mother (who has been my rock for many-a year) and her boyfriend (who I very much like and is fantastic with my son) were physically escorted from the hospital by Security at my request. I haven't spoken to either of them since.

On Dec 24th, the Spirit of Traffic Laws punched me right in the taint with my first speeding ticket in a car in 10 years. On Xmas Eve.

On Dec 25th, I didn't receive so much as a card or an "I love you" from my wife. I also missed the family Xmas and my grandma's birthday as a result of Dec 17th.

On Dec 27th, she asked me to leave so "she could think". My "family house" I found to be occupied, forcing me to move in with my father and his g/f, who is going through quite a serious illness. I'm sleeping in a storeroom, but it's better than my Silverado.

On Dec 28th, I caught hell from work due to the problems my personal life has created in the workplace.

On Dec 30th, I caught a stick right into my open eyeball during hockey.

On Dec 31st, I sent her a big New Years love note, I didn't even get a reply.

Today (Jan 5th? I don't even know anymore), as I prepared to talk to her and really put my heart out there, she took 2 minutes to tell me she hasn't loved me for 2-3 years, had already spoken to a mediator 3 months earlier, already had all our shit divied up, and announced our divorce. All my shit was packed, the TV gone, computer gone, all the new furniture gone, snowblower gone, one of my guns gone, 5/7ths of nighttime tuck-ins, story times, and other time with my son gone, 17% of my paycheck, just gone. 10.5 years of blood, sweat and tears, side by side, working through incredible hardships, gone. The marriage all of our friends wanted theirs to be like... gone.

I am doing...well, I suppose. At least as well as one could do. Jan 3rd was my 5 year anni of being off the drink, and I have no urge to start because of this. I'm about 19 months off the drug, and likewise have no urge to start back up. I'm slightly mad at pacomartin for not supplying the advice of "save the trouble of marriage and just find a woman you don't like and buy her a house" sooner, but...whatever. Now I know, and I'm told knowing is half the battle.

I'm not sure what I'm looking for with this, other than to vent. I might ask FrG to give a shout out for some peace, both in my heart and in my life in general. I might even ask Nareed to do nothing whatsoever, as that has been shown to work miracles. But you know what I'd really ask?

What are the odds?! I'm sure someone has a way to get a number on this, and I'd be interested. I am somewhat infamous for having absolute devil's luck in all manner of things, which eventually gets paid back by what can only be described as a biblical shitstorm of unbelievableness. Since this has been the biggest of such storms, I just want to know where I stand from a numbers standpoint.

I'd try it myself, but the woman who started today as my wife has the computer and I'm posting this from a bloody borrowed Mac. I'm lucky I even got this far on this blasted thing....
The opinions of this moderator are for entertainment purposes only.
Joined: Feb 13, 2010
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January 4th, 2012 at 9:28:26 PM permalink
There is no way to quantify the unquantifiable.
"What, me worry?"
Joined: May 26, 2010
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January 4th, 2012 at 10:55:04 PM permalink
I'm sorry, man. I don't know what else to say.
Old enough to repaint. Young enough to sell.
Joined: Oct 19, 2009
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January 4th, 2012 at 11:13:50 PM permalink
You need a divorce lawyer.
Meanwhile, stop feeling sorry for yourself.
Your marriage is over. Period.
Your job is in jeopardy because of your inattention. Don't lose it. You need to pay your divorce lawyer.
Hockey? Is that your job?
Your relationship with your mother is over. Period.
You will soon be thrown out of the storeroom. Period.
Joined: Jul 18, 2010
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January 5th, 2012 at 12:39:14 AM permalink
Your first mistake was leaving the house because
she wants to 'think'. Let her leave if she has thinking
to do. Women think they control everything, because
we let them. Stand up to her, fight for your stuff,
you have the same rights as she does. Get a lawyer
NOW, one who knows what he's doing. Put the fear
of god into your wife, or you'll be living in your car
going WTF happened..

Did you see any of this coming? Was she being nice
to you right up to when she wasn't anymore? What do
you mean 17% of your paycheck, how can she do
that without you knowing about it?
"It's not enough to succeed, your friends must fail." Gore Vidal
Joined: Jan 18, 2010
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January 5th, 2012 at 12:44:26 AM permalink
Sucky situation.

Get the best lawyer you can find; don't just let her decide everything. Time is of the essence. My ex kept me away from the kids for two months of cloak and dagger crap on her lawyer's advice--and got away with it (I had to pay full support for that time even though I got joint custody).

You can be fair, of course...but it won't be fair if you don't have the same level of lawyer (or better) that she does. She does not get to dictate fair (neither do you).

Take care of yourself...your job is important. Talk to someone who can listen and give good advice.

Good luck!!
Joined: Feb 8, 2011
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January 5th, 2012 at 1:03:15 AM permalink
I'm sorry to hear of your troubles. It's unfortunate that all these things happened right around the same time but I would suggest not reading into it. Just a bad series of coincidences. I don't know what to say in regards to your marriage. I myself have never been married and have no kids of my own so I can't offer any help here. It may seem easy to let this all get to you but you're doing a good job by not using a controlled substance because you know deep down inside that won't solve a damn thing.

If you're a believer of the idea that things happen for a reason then somehow through this cloud of confusion you may be able to see how things will work out in its own way. I wish you well. Keep your head up.
OFFICIALLY and justifiably reclaimed my title as SuperHotBlonde!
Joined: Nov 9, 2009
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January 5th, 2012 at 2:55:54 AM permalink
Your wife might just be right about one thing: this marriage might as well be over. I am sorry to see that she is maneuvering so wickedly about "who gets what" and all the other wicked-witch stuff; I especially hate to see women use the kid as a weapon, which she seems to be doing. Often they care more about the son-as-pawn than son-as-son [I've seen this played out and the consequences]. She seems unloveable. But you love her? It is possible to love someone and realize you can't live with them. She has thrown down the gauntlet, I agree totally with the advice about a divorce lawyer.

She owns the house in her name only?
the next time Dame Fortune toys with your heart, your soul and your wallet, raise your glass and praise her thus: “Thanks for nothing, you cold-hearted, evil, damnable, nefarious, low-life, malicious monster from Hell!” She is, after all, stone deaf. ... Arnold Snyder
Joined: Nov 2, 2009
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January 5th, 2012 at 5:05:13 AM permalink
That sucks. I'd like to say "Shit happens," but it still sucks.

I'd say the first thing you should do is try to patch things up with your mother. The marriage may be over, and yeah, you need a lawyer, but you also need the support of your mother. Fix that.

Quote: Face

What are the odds?!

50 / 50.

50% of all marriages end in divorce. The other 50% end in death!
I invented a few casino games. Info: http://www.DaveMillerGaming.com/ ————————————————————————————————————— Superstitions are silly, childish, irrational rituals, born out of fear of the unknown. But how much does it cost to knock on wood? 😁
Joined: Feb 24, 2010
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January 5th, 2012 at 6:40:47 AM permalink
I'm only responding this way to be a little different than the typical, I'm sorry or get a lawyer. You probably already know all of that.

Back in 1985 I went through similar. Got divorced, was devastated for the first year. Started to get over it, stayed single for 6 more years, but had fun during that 6 years. A lot of fun.
Got remarried. Twenty seven years later I am still married to the second for a total of 20 years. The ex wife is still single. I asked her last year why she never remarried and her answer was that she made a huge mistake and she never found anyone as good as she had it then.
Rewarding yet sad.
Not saying that will happen to you but you never know.

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