Funniest smuggling stories

This suspect was caught at LAX trying to smuggle songbirds through customs.



This suspect from South Korea was caught with counterfeit $100K banknotes. The real ones were printed 76 years ago, and were never circulated among the general public.




Here is 1/2 pound of uncut blood diamonds from Sierra Leone. The equivalent value in US$100 banknotes would weight 17 pounds, or 85 pounds in US$20 banknotes. In 500 Euro banknotes the equivalent value would weigh 2.4 pounds (not much more than the diamonds and much easier to launder).

Not a smuggling story, but a customs story. A good friend who had a summer house in Canada was coming back to the USA via the Peace Bridge that connects Buffalo to Canada. When he stopped his SUV at customs, the agent asked, as they always do, do you have anything to declare? 'No' said my friend. Do you have anything that you purchased in Canada that you are bringing into the US? 'No' said my friend. Are you absolutely sure, this is your last chance. "I am sure'. When the agent had him step out of the car and asked him about the brand new table and chairs roped to the top of his SUV in plain view, he said- "I guess I wasn't sure".

Not a smuggling story either, but a customs story. When I first moved to a city that borders Canada I was crossing the border. The customs agent asked what country I was from. I replied "America". He looked at me very deadpan and said "North or South?" I replied ".....ummm, the United States?". He let me through.

Mark

Quote: marksolberg

... I replied "America". He looked at me very deadpan and said "North or South?" ...

Is there another country with "America" in its name? All I can think of is American Samoa, which isn't quite "America" and is a territory rather than a country.

Quote: Doc

Is there another country with "America" in its name? All I can think of is American Samoa, which isn't quite "America" and is a territory rather than a country.

America is the continent. The country is the United States of America.
Latin America often use the term North Americans but I understand this offends Mexicans who believe that they too live on the continent of North America, as do most Canadians.

How about this guy trying to get 43 reptiles out of New Zeland in his underwear?

Quote: FleaStiff

America is the continent. The country is the United States of America. ...

I understand that, but I think that if the question is "What country ...?" and the answer given is "America", then there really shouldn't be any confusion or criticism. Most everyone would accept "Britain" or "UK" as an answer without expecting someone to reply "The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland." Now if there were several other countries with "America" as part of their names, then I would feel differently. Same if there were several "Britains".

I think the whole point of the guard's question is the detect the driver's accent and trip him up with a bit of whimsy, and see if he's nervous. If driver is confused or belligerent over such a good-natured question, then it's "Pull your car over to the side and wait for a Border Agent".

There are two Britains : There is Great Britain and then there is New Britain.

I'll get my coat.

A woman was arrested at JFK today for having 170K sewed into her underwear. Trying to cheat on the taxes.

Quote: Doc

I understand that, but I think that if the question is "What country ...?" and the answer given is "America", then there really shouldn't be any confusion or criticism. Most everyone would accept "Britain" or "UK" as an answer without expecting someone to reply "The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland." Now if there were several other countries with "America" as part of their names, then I would feel differently. Same if there were several "Britains".

At the time of independence, the name United States of America was considered by many people the ugliest name ever given to a country up to that point in history. Twelve of the individual colonies almost had names of British people, except for one named for an Indian word (Quinnehtukqut) meaning “beside the long tidal river”. The only other name in general consideration was Columbia, a feminine version of Christopher Columbus's name (i.e. District of Columbia as a name for the capitol district). Benjamin Franklin in particular pushed for the name Columbia (as well as making the turkey the national bird).

Christopher Columbus in general was adopted as a hero of the new republic, partly to replace the Cabots who had chartered a course to the new world under the hire of Henry VII. The fact that CC had never stepped foot on ground belonging to the new republic didn't seem to bother anyone.

Many Latin Americans do resent the co-option of the name American exclusively for citizens of the USA. Once again, Amerigo Vespucci, had nothing to do with the country, nor had he ever been to the territory.

You can refer to the Northern American's, by which it is clear you mean citizens of either the USA or Canada. Sometimes in textbooks will say "estadounidense" to be more specific, but it is hard to say that with a straight face. You can say "gringo", but that is more casual.

The best way to be fair to everyone is to say that "I come from the USA", and "I am an American". Just don't say "I come from America".

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In a similar manner, don't offend our British cousins by saying, "Are you from England?" or refer to the "Queen of England". To do so is to ignore the last five centuries when the island was unified at great cost of life. Always say "Are you from the UK?" or "Are you British?". You can refer to the "British Queen", or more formally the "Queen of the United Kingdom".

Similarly, as to not offend the Irish, do not refer to the "British Isles".

When referring to the country it is better to say UK than Britain, but it is all right to use British as an adjective. The people of Northern Ireland are mostly Ulster Scots who are descended from the British (mostly Scots) anyway. The Gaelic people were mostly killed in the 17th century.
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I always liked Columbia. But you snooze, you lose.

Quote: Doc

I understand that, but I think that if the question is "What country ...?" and the answer given is "America", then there really shouldn't be any confusion or criticism.

Canada is part of America just as well as US. A lot of people dislike the use of "America" to refer to US exclusively, especially, I imagine, in other countries in one of the two continents that comprise America. Up to the point of using the term "USian" for "Americans", though I've seen that one in writing only.

Since we're on the subject of names, Mexico's official name is United States of Mexico (Estados Unidos Mexicanos). Before independence the land was known as New Spain.

And a bit of trivia: Mexico has been an empire twice.

Quote: kenarman

I will defer to the Mexican members of the forum if they care to anwer but I always considered them to be North Americans as well. In fact I wouldn't argue with anyone from Panama north calling themselves North Americans although they can always identify themselves as from Central America.

I specifically said "Northern Americans" which was a term invented to distinguish the Anglo world from North America. In most cases you don''t need to worry about this problem, as it is usually only academics who worry about it. Most people understand that citizens of USA have co-opted the phrase "American" as their own denomyn .