"Nice" men/women
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| | 8 votes (34.78%) | ||
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23 members have voted
Men like nice women…women, not so much when it comes to nice men
Quote:Scientifically, nice (heterosexual) guys might actually finish last. A study published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin recently found that while men were attracted to nice-seeming women upon meeting them, women did not feel the same way about men.
Story of my life. You don't need a psychology research paper to convince me.
Quote: WizardFrom that article:
Story of my life. You don't need a psychology research paper to convince me.
Time to start being an a**h*ole to women Wiz (well, I mean the ones you are sexually attracted too)
Quote: WizardFrom that article:
Story of my life. You don't need a psychology research paper to convince me.
You need to work your magic.
Quote: aceofspadesTime to start being an a**h*ole to women Wiz (well, I mean the ones you are sexually attracted too)
Quote: Lemieux66You need to work your magic.
You can't help being who you are. If I tried to act bad, women would see right through it and I'd scare them off even more, if that is possible.
The article itself is talking about responsiveness, not being "nice", though. They do use the word "nice" at one point but there doesn't seem to be much basis for that. But, yeah, if you want a woman to like you, ignore her a bit. Everyone knows that.
One theory I've had is that maybe conformity has survival value and if a man can afford to stand out from the crowd and/or go it alone as bad boys/loners do, then it's a sign of fitness.
We all know what women want.
Ka-ching, ka-ching.
Pink Floyd wrote a song about it on "The Other Side of the Moon"
EDIT: Dark Side of the Moon, sorry, I was up late last night.
Quote: darkozPink Floyd wrote a song about it on "The Other Side of the Moon"
Are you referring to the songs Brain Damage/Eclipse? If so, I must have listened to them hundreds of times and have no clue what they are about. I'd be very interested in your interpretation.
She was a Bloods gang member -- had to bail her out of jail once when she beat the crap out of someone. I saw her take down a dude with her bare fists and one time she stabbed someone. I guess after all the years we were together I should consider myself lucky -- my injuries were never severe (the worst was when she hit me over the head with a Hennessy bottle).
Anyway, I asked her once what she saw in me. I've never been in trouble with the law, I'm pretty square. Don't party, no drugs or alcohol or cigarettes ever.
She replied, "Been fighting dudes my whole life. You think I want to fight my boyfriend?"
Quote: WizardAre you referring to the songs Brain Damage/Eclipse? If so, I must have listened to them hundreds of times and have no clue what they are about. I'd be very interested in your interpretation.
I was referring to the song "Money"
Not to hijack the thread, but the other side of the moon (my interpretation) is one side is dedicated to madness, the other to death.
EDIT: Dark Side of the Moon sorry, was up late last night, lol.
What is the slogan of the Cosmopolitan ... just the right amount of wrong or something like that.Quote: WizardStory of my life. You don't need a psychology research paper to convince me.
Completely nuts but my god was she hot. A very skilled liar too, and extremely manipulative. She was in sales, and was very good at figuring out what people wanted to see, and showing them that side of he personality. Overall it was fun so I have no real complaints.
Quote: AxiomOfChoiceI dated an interesting girl once. Ranked about an 11 out of 10 on both the "hot" and "crazy" scales. Was fun for about 2 months, then it ended really, really spectacularly. When I dumped her she told me she had cancer to try to get me back (she did not have cancer).
Completely nuts but my god was she hot. A very skilled liar too, and extremely manipulative. She was in sales, and was very good at figuring out what people wanted to see, and showing them that side of he personality. Overall it was fun so I have no real complaints.
Crazy in the head...crazy in the bed!
Quote: AxiomOfChoiceI dated an interesting girl once.
Reminds me of an old Chinese curse: "May you live in interesting times."
Quote: aceofspadesCrazy in the head...crazy in the bed!
I dated a hot girl decades ago who's
parents were rich. I stopped seeing
her when I found out she had tried
to get the last boyfriend to marry
her by faking a miscarriage by tossing
some raw chicken liver in the toilet.
Poor little rich girl always gets her way
no matter what she has to do to get it.
It does seem there are many more crazy
women than men.
Quote: MrVReminds me of an old Chinese curse: "May you live in interesting times."
Donal Sutherland's character at the end of the so-so movie "Disclosure" uses that quote--not an "interesting" movie
Quote: Lemieux66I think if you tell gullible women about Wonging out they might see you as being a bad boy. "Yeah I take all the good cards. What are they gonna do about it? F--- EM!"
I admit, halfway through the first sentence, I was somewhat hoping it would be about people wonging out of a relationship once the 'count' runs negative...
Quote: VenthusI admit, halfway through the first sentence, I was somewhat hoping it would be about people wonging out of a relationship once the 'count' runs negative...
When the requests for sex are too many negatives and not enough positives, you need to find a new shoe.
Quote: WizardFrom that article:
Story of my life. You don't need a psychology research paper to convince me.
I really think the definition of "nice" is critical to this discussion. There's well-mannered, confident "nice", and there's no-self-respect "nice". One is very attractive, the other is not; either one tends to be self-reinforcing. Without classifying Mike or anyone else as either: Men with an aura of power and confidence who are "nice" to their peers and subordinates are very attractive. Men who are groveling, insecure, petty tyrants, and/or self-deprecating in order to seem "nice" are not attractive. If a man can find the place (a very difficult task) in himself where he is confident but not arrogant, has nothing to prove by demeaning others to make himself look or feel superior, allows failure to be a temporary, fixable condition and a learning experience, and demonstrates consideration for his partner, he will be very successful with women. We like to believe in our men. Usually that requires they first believe in themselves.
Requests??? Some sociologists interviewed highly paid legal secretaries who had returned to "the bario" because they valued the macho image there as opposed to the wimps in the single bars.Quote: Lemieux66When the requests for sex are ...
Quote: FleaStiffRequests???
When you request your wife/girlfriend for sex I mean.
Quote: beachbumbabsI really think the definition of "nice" is critical to this discussion. There's well-mannered, confident "nice", and there's no-self-respect "nice". One is very attractive, the other is not; either one tends to be self-reinforcing. Without classifying Mike or anyone else as either: Men with an aura of power and confidence who are "nice" to their peers and subordinates are very attractive. Men who are groveling, insecure, petty tyrants, and/or self-deprecating in order to seem "nice" are not attractive. If a man can find the place (a very difficult task) in himself where he is confident but not arrogant, has nothing to prove by demeaning others to make himself look or feel superior, allows failure to be a temporary, fixable condition and a learning experience, and demonstrates consideration for his partner, he will be very successful with women. We like to believe in our men. Usually that requires they first believe in themselves.
Again, this research was about how responsive the people were, not about how nice they were.
Everyone is misinterpreting it based on one remark that the author of the article made, that had nothing to do with the research.
I knew one Irish lass who hung out with a guy for about seven months (a long term relationship for her). One night she crashed a mug of beer over his head and rammed his face into a decorative Guinness advertisement. In between those two moves, he could consider their relationship to be over. Is it any wonder she hung out with the IRA types? Compared to her, he was nice. I often drank in the bar but whenever she was there, I never once turned my back towards her. She moved fast. And always said afterwards "I don't like to fight". I would never classify her as nice but I'm sure many sociologists would.Quote: darkozShe replied, "Been fighting dudes my whole life. You think I want to fight my boyfriend?"
One thing about the IRA lads sent over here "till things cool down a bit"... even during their first week when they didn't realize there were different rules at the pool table, there were no fights. And later on, when some of them were real short of money... they waited till they got some odd job somewhere, no mugging someone or anything. If their wallets were totally empty they tightened their belts and waited for a painting job or something. Were they nice?
Quote: Lemieux66But keep in mind, "nice" or not, having truckloads of money trumps all. Women like to call it "security" or "stability" though.
Not necessarily true.
Money definitely helps but it doesn't trump all. It also leads to its own set of problems. If you have lots of money, getting married to someone who doesn't is a very, very bad idea.
Quote: AxiomOfChoiceNot necessarily true.
Money definitely helps but it doesn't trump all. It also leads to its own set of problems. If you have lots of money, getting married to someone who doesn't is a very, very bad idea.
Well then, I done f***ed up...although her parents have more money than me and my parents combined and she's an only child...so...hmmm.
Quote: AcesAndEightsWell then, I done f***ed up...although her parents have more money than me and my parents combined and she's an only child...so...hmmm.
You have money?
The bottom line is that almost all marriages fail, and the laws in just about every state are set up to heavily favor the person who has no money, and, more importantly, the person with no means to acquire more money.
Marriage is for suckers. It's fine if you're broke.
Quote: AxiomOfChoiceYou have money?
I have a positive net worth, yeah, if that's what you're asking? And about 10x my now-wife's net worth before we tied the knot. Now it's all in the same bucket. And yeah, if we split up, she'll get half the bucket.
Quote:The bottom line is that almost all marriages fail, and the laws in just about every state are set up to heavily favor the person who has no money, and, more importantly, the person with no means to acquire more money.
Marriage is for suckers. It's fine if you're broke.
I strive to be an exception to the statistics. Wish me positive variance :)
Quote: djatcMarrying for money is the only +EV solution for marriage. I don't believe people marry for love, why would they when you can live with your lover without paperwork and threat of losing half your stuff?
There is always Married At First Sight
Quote: djatcMarrying for money is the only +EV solution for marriage. I don't believe people marry for love, why would they when you can live with your lover without paperwork and threat of losing half your stuff?
There are countless practical reasons for getting married. For one, it makes covering your partner under your benefits either possible or easier depending on your workplace.
Quote: djatcMarrying for money is the only +EV solution for marriage. I don't believe people marry for love, why would they when you can live with your lover without paperwork and threat of losing half your stuff?
One of my friends has been engaged for ~30 years. In her country, you have to file a notice of marriage at least 30 days in advance, and, per government mandate, you receive several days off for the ceremonies. They've been saving the days off in the event of a family emergency.
Quote: AxiomOfChoiceMoney definitely helps but it doesn't trump all. It also leads to its own set of problems. If you have lots of money, getting married to someone who doesn't is a very, very bad idea.
I recently watched a documentary about online dating services. It said, what I think we all know to be obvious, is that men put the biggest emphasis on physical beauty and youth, while women put it on money.
In my opinion, nothing wrong with that. I may get in trouble with Barb for saying this, but men are looking for a fertile field to plant their seed, and women want a nice nest to raise their offspring.
Quote: WizardI recently watched a documentary about online dating services. It said, what I think we all know to be obvious, is that men put the biggest emphasis on physical beauty and youth, while women put it on money.
In my opinion, nothing wrong with that. I may get in trouble with Barb for saying this, but men are looking for a fertile field to plant their seed, and women want a nice nest to raise their offspring.
Yeah, that is definitely true. Even if you don't want kids (I don't want kids) we are still evolutionarily programmed to like youth and beauty.
The funny thing is that, when I was younger, I did not care about age that much, but now that I'm getting a little older (late 30's) it is very rare for me to find a woman over 30 attractive. I mean, it happens, but it takes a rare beauty. On the other hand I find myself attracted to average-looking 25-year-olds.
Quote: WizardI recently watched a documentary about online dating services. It said, what I think we all know to be obvious, is that men put the biggest emphasis on physical beauty and youth, while women put it on money.
In my opinion, nothing wrong with that. I may get in trouble with Barb for saying this, but men are looking for a fertile field to plant their seed, and women want a nice nest to raise their offspring.
Since you asked, I don't think there's anything untrue or incorrect about what you're saying. Very evolutionary and primal.
"The hot/crazy matrix."
(Anyone else watch Archer?)
Quote: AcesAndEightsThere are countless practical reasons for getting married. For one, it makes covering your partner under your benefits either possible or easier depending on your workplace.
OK that's one, any others. I know of people who got married for citizenship. I guess that's another.
I dated a crazy girl before. She was kind of hot too. But eventually I found out she was more crazy than hot in scale.
At that time, I was not an AP and I did not think rationally. I let the relationship last for more than one year and for sure it did not
end well. Relationship is another form of gamble and we should always look for an edge too. The hot crazy theorem basically explains itself.
Never ever date a crazy girl unless she is equally hot.
Be considerate. Be nice, but have a backbone. Don't be a pushover.
Also, most guys who try hard to be nice give too much, both socially and sexually. By doing that you create two bad situations. The first is an inequality; no one wants to feel in debt to a partner, especially emotionally. It makes the debtor feel small. Second, it's great to give, but if you never take, you deprive your partner of the pleasure of giving. Sometimes a woman wants her man to take. Be considerate. Give you partner the gift of pleasing you.
Recent research says that aroused people will do things that they would find dirty normally. You want to reach that spot where your partner feels comfortable enough to get there. Then you'll be there too. Then you'll get that great share feeling. Then you can be as nice as you want to be, because you want to be. And remember don't be a pushover. You don't have to be an asshole. But if you always go to the flower show instead of watching the game, be prepared to be miserable and then eventually get told "It isn't you, it's me." Bullshit, it was you. She got nothing invested, because you always gave in.
I dunno. I'm married, I don't have to go through all this again, and I don't want to. But that's what worked for me. If I was to do it all over, I'd do it that way again.
Quote: MoscaRecent research says that aroused people will do things that they would find dirty normally. You want to reach that spot where your partner feels comfortable enough to get there. Then you'll be there too. Then you'll get that great share feeling. Then you can be as nice as you want to be, because you want to be. And remember don't be a pushover. You don't have to be an asshole. But if you always go to the flower show instead of watching the game, be prepared to be miserable and then eventually get told "It isn't you, it's me." Bullshit, it was you. She got nothing invested, because you always gave in.
Words of wisdom...
Quote: aceofspadesApparently, this guy has it all figured out:
This is far out of my field of expertise, but there is another view point to marrying in the 8-10 range.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9NF5XU-k2Vk
