San Franciso or Baltimore

WARNING! The following post has nothing at all to do with gambling. Proceed at your own risk. Nothing may happen. On the other hand, nothing may happen. This post is not hazardous to your health, nor is it high in calories, nor is it knwon to cause cancer in lab animals. Proceed at your own risk


You've been warned!



On the one hand, I don't want to see a team tie the Steelers for most Super Bowl wins. On the other hand, I don't want to see Baltimore win ever, much less the Super Bowl.

Quote: Nareed

WARNING! The following post has nothing at all to do with gambling.

I'm wondering what the heck it DOES have to do with.

I.E. What's the question being asked?

I must say Baltimor plus 9 was the easiest sports bet I have made in 20 years.

Quote: hook3670

I must say Baltimor plus 9 was the easiest sports bet I have made in 20 years.

Ooooo, where did you get the +9? I want some of that!!

Quote: hook3670

I must say Baltimor plus 9 was the easiest sports bet I have made in 20 years.

I'm happy to say I had a nice money line wager on Baltimore at +320.

I'm on SF. I think they are the better team. Baltimore is coming off their best game of the year v NE.
BAL seems to match up well with NE, maybe not so much against SF?

If history repeats, there's value making a SF moneyline wager. SB dogs are almost always over-bet on the moneyline.

**If you check my horrific WoV Picks Game record, you'll rush to the window and bet BAL.

Quote: MakingBook

SB dogs are almost always over-bet on the moneyline.

There's a reason, no? Just from my recent experiences betting on the Giants, I made a lot of money!

Quote: MakingBook

If history repeats, there's value making a SF moneyline wager. SB dogs are almost always over-bet on the moneyline.

This is true. The Super Bowl is the only game where I would approve of betting the favorite on the Money Line. On any other game I would say that underdogs on the ML are a solid wager. However, the SB is a horse of a different color. It draws in a lot of square bettors, some who bet the dog on the ML and others the favorite against the spread.

I see the ML on SF is -165 or -170, depending on the casino. I think -165 is a solid bet. As a Ravens fan it will pain me to bet it, but I will.

Quote: s2dbaker

There's a reason, no? Just from my recent experiences betting on the Giants, I made a lot of money!

It's got nothing to do with the game result. I'm talking about the corresponding pointspread to money-line values.
They tend to become distorted by Super Bowl Sunday.

Last year NE vs NYG is a good example. NE was favored by 3. The corresponding moneyline
would typically be NE -155/-150 and NYG +135/+130.

But, NYG bettors only got +115 (some only +110). That's nuts! Bookies notice these things.

If this were the late Roman Principate period, a head coach and a team owner, both with "good" claims to the Lombardi trophy, would get together and have the Commisioner killed. Then they'd exile the Harbaughs to Los Angeles (the place in America farthest from Football), and kill their Legions. I mean, kill their teams.

Naturally the conspirators would agree beforehand to share the Super Bowl. But then one would betray the other and keep the Lombardi for himself, after declaring himself Commissioner-for-life and SuperBowl Champion in Perpetuity, not to mention Imperator, Pointiff, President and god of all Football.

By then, the Barbarian Soccer Kingdoms to the South and accros the Atlanticus would start to get ideas about an invasion. And then it would all go to hell again.

You are on the wrong board again.

deleted

Quote: Ibeatyouraces

Where is the "I'll be in a casino making money and the hell with a football game" choice?

In the Barbarian Soccer Kingdoms to the South and accros the ocean sea.

Quote: MakingBook

Last year NE vs NYG is a good example. NE was favored by 3. The corresponding moneyline
would typically be NE -155/-150 and NYG +135/+130.

But, NYG bettors only got +115 (some only +110). That's nuts! Bookies notice these things.

Its not really nuts at all. And can be exploited, by knowing the payout with points versus the straight-up bet (no points). In the case you are describing, the straight up bet on the Giants might have easily been +140 nationwide or Vegas, but locally through bookie, this could vary SIGNIFICANTLY.

BTW Pinnacle Sports is Reporting as Follows

Baltimore +3.5 1.962
SF 49ers -3.5 1.962

Moneyline decimal (US)
Baltimore is 2.590 (+159)
SF 49ers is 1.565 (-177)

If this were the late Republican Roman period, then a former head coach with a bad reputation, one who's been working for the League by working outside the League's borders, would seize the chance to seize power once and for all.

It might go down like this:

Our ambitious, young Gruden --er, I mean our ambitious young former head coach, would take over a team witha big, mean defensive line (plenty of legions, teams, wanting for a proven, talented head coach), and march them down to New Orleans. First, though, he'd invade the Frozen Lands to the North and make the locals there bow down and swear allegiance to the NFL, all for the good of the League, of course. Then he'd invade Louisana and attempt to preempt the Super Bowl by declaring his new team as everlasting champions and himself Dictator -uh, Commissioner- for life.

The people would go wild, but then a set of team owners would have him killed, not at the Superdome, and then all would go to hell. Again.

Of course I glossed over some details, like the head coach picked by the team owners to fight this menace taking a shortcut through Hawaii where he expects to fight Caesar. But we all know the Pro Bowl is just a distraction from the fact that there is NO REAL FOOTBALL allowed by the gods in the week prior to the Super Bowl.

Quote: Nareed

If this were the late Republican Roman period, then a former head coach with a bad reputation, one who's been working for the League by working outside the League's borders, would seize the chance to seize power once and for all.

It might go down like this:

Our ambitious, young Gruden --er, I mean our ambitious young former head coach, would take over a team witha big, mean defensive line (plenty of legions, teams, wanting for a proven, talented head coach), and march them down to New Orleans. First, though, he'd invade the Frozen Lands to the North and make the locals there bow down and swear allegiance to the NFL, all for the good of the League, of course. Then he'd invade Louisana and attempt to preempt the Super Bowl by declaring his new team as everlasting champions and himself Dictator -uh, Commissioner- for life.

The people would go wild, but then a set of team owners would have him killed, not at the Superdome, and then all would go to hell. Again.

Of course I glossed over some details, like the head coach picked by the team owners to fight this menace taking a shortcut through Hawaii where he expects to fight Caesar. But we all know the Pro Bowl is just a distraction from the fact that there is NO REAL FOOTBALL allowed by the gods in the week prior to the Super Bowl.

I have enjoyed these, thanks Nareed!

Quote: AcesAndEights

I have enjoyed these, thanks Nareed!

You're welcome.

Depending on traffic today, I will either do tomorrow's bump with the 3rd Century crisis or the Punic War period (It beats coming up with a short, stupid joke every time).

So the 3rd Century Crisis Super Bowl would go like this:

First, there would be much dissatisfaction in the League over the starring roles thrust upon Kapernicus and Flaccus, when the real elite has been shut out. This would lead a team owner with an overly gigantic ego to make a play fro the Big Game. Say an owner from the Province of Nova Hispania Oleaica. True, his legions were not good enough to even qualify, but had they not defeated the fearsome warriors of the Ironopolis? Still flush with this victory, his legions would accalim him as Imperator. So this owner would march upon the Bayou and try to unseat, at first, the legions from Nova Hispania Aurea.

The panicked and legitimate champions of their respective Conferences, naturally would call for reinforcements. No help from the rather lame legions of Brittania Secunda, but the team from Novus Iorque would be very eager to stop the owner witht he world-sized ego as 1) he's their traditional rival, and 2) their star lieutenant general has a deep, familial connection to the city of New Orleans.

But distances and bad weather would delay the reinforcements. So When Jones, er, you know, meets the Brothers in New Orleans, he has little trouble dispatching them. But the reinforcements will get there, even if only to avenge the honorable Harbaugh quasi-dynasty.

As soon as the Giganticus Maximus, then, steps into the marshlands of the lower Mississippi, our intrepid owner from N. Hispania Oleaica finds his troops defecting in droves (except for Antonius the Blunt). It turns out they'd rather fight for any other team. They acclaim Eli the Manning as Imperator, President, Commissioner, Augustus, God of kings and King of gods, while secretly yearning for his older brother to get his ass down here and take over.

This is a hard one, but it fits so well.

So having defeated the much stronger opponent, but not the League for which he stands, Hannibal, er, Harbaugh, learns that a young general, uh, head coach, has invaded his homeland. So he instructs his brother Hasdruval, um, Harbaugh, to stay behind in Nova Hispania and guard it.

Back home he arrays his army, including twenty clones of William perry, against the young, brilliant Publius Tomlinus Scipio (oh, you know). Harbaugh attempts to parley with the young upstart, but he offers nothing more than to allow Ironopolis to keep its six Lombardi Trophies and draft picks (he doesn't even offer a second-round pick).

This attempt to settle things peacefully allows reinforcements to arrive, thus making for a lopsided battle in which Harbaugh sees himself bested by young Scipio.

Oh, well, it's not as funny or dramatic as when the Romans fight themselves...

But, in my opinion, Baltimore must be destroyed :P

I've been remiss in this matter. After all, the poll clearly indicates a preference for San Francisco, but Baltimore took the Lombardi. This is all well and good in a 21st Century Democratic Republic, where the losers admit defeat and bow out, or complain about the officials but still repect the result and bow out. But no Rome of any era would ever take defeat like that. So:

The losing Harbaugh (I can't keep them straight), would retrun home, lick his wounds, patch up his players, execute the place kicker (convenient scapegoat), and plan. Then he would march his troops to Baltimore.

Realizing he cannot take the city, he'd lay siege. Knowing that's what his brother intends, the winning Harbaugh would prepare for a long siege. Among other things he'd plant a gigantic bust of Minerva just inside the siege line, where the Legions from California are sure to see it.

Of course the whole idea is ridiculous. There's no way the people of Baltimore would ever give up the Lombardi. But the Harbaughs being brothers and all, even if they represent different parts of the Empire, they try to resolve the conflict.

Harbaugh Minor offers Harbaugh Magnus two linebackers and 3 second-round draft picks for the Lombardi. This is rejected out of hand, naturally, but in the interest of preventing further harm to the Empire, Harbaugh Magnus makes a counter-offer: Kapernicus, two linebackers, and ten first-round picks in exchange for the AFC championship trophy, he even throws in all the old Baltimore Colts paraphernalia still extant in the city to show his good faith.

The talks fall apart, and the siege continues.

After shooing a 10-year old kid in a Ravens' jersey who'd perched in the bust of Minerva (and who for some reason kept yelling "eat my shorts!"), Harbaugh Magnus leads his fearsome Defense, without his most veteran general, into a raid to break the siege. At first he thinks he's succeeding, but then the Legions from San Francisco pin the defense down and play for position, essentially a delaying action.

At the same time, a small band of special troops led by second-string general Smitheus breaks into the city, catching the Ravens offense led by Flaccus napping, and steal the Lombardi, the AFC championship trophy, as well as the 2000 Lombardy and some divisional titles for good measure. They walk away unimpeded, and eventually rejoin the rest of the legion, which is now disengaging from the defense and punting balls into Baltimore to signal "surrender."

Now hostilities can end.

Hostilities can never end as long as there is a decedent of Robert Irsay still alive. !

Quote: Buzzard

Hostilities can never end as long as there is a decedent of Robert Irsay still alive. !

Maybe not. But you can't expect either Harbaugh to do anything about it. I mean, one just lost a siege war, the other has trophies to engrave and polish. Besides, isn't Indiana a Basketball state? So the Empire would have nothing to gain by evicting the Colts, even if someone built a new stadium in Los Angeles.

Next you will be telling me Face and Peter Pocklington ( no googling allowed ) are best friends.

Quote: Buzzard

Next you will be telling me Face and Peter Pocklington ( no googling allowed ) are best friends.

"It was all Greek to me." Source Unkown.

Quote: Nareed

"It was all Greek to me." Source Unkown.

Actually it's all Canadian. EH ?

Quote: Nareed

"It was all Greek to me." Source Unkown.

Pock was the guy who traded Gretzky, some say the biggest mistake since the Natives sold Manhattan for $24 ;)

I don't get the connection to the thread, though. It's championship hockey weekend and I've been drinking too much as of late =p I guess I'm kind of dumb today.

Just tricking Nareed. Her love is Soccer, not Ice Hockey !

Plus the tribe who sold Manhattan did not own it.

Quote: Face

Pock was the guy who traded Gretzky,

Who's Gretzky?

Just another Canadian who decided to move to California and defrost !

Quote: Nareed

Who's Gretzky?

Oh. My. God. I can't believe you let a statement such as "Nareed loves soccer" to go unopposed. Perhaps you have Buzz blocked? If not, I admire your restraint ;)

Gretzky is just the most dominating player to ever play a sport, bar none (he played ice hockey, most notably for the Edmonton Oilers and LA Kings) Woods to golf, Jordan to Basketball, Montana to passing, Rice to receiving, they all pale in comparison, he was that good.

Theres no doubt the NIners should have won the game.

The only knock about Gretzky is that he did not play a Major League Sport.

The NHL: A Violent Game Played By Violent People http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=weT1F1Ywp8w

Quote: Face

(he played ice hockey,

Hockey? Isn't that were savages with clubs fight in search of a mythical rubber disk that may not even be there? Which, BTW, for some reason is named after a woodlands fairy.

It's even worse than baseball. Baseball, at least, had Abbot and Costello to justify its existence, you know:

Quis in prima basi?
Sic
Hhomunculo in prima!
Quis!

Quote: Buzzard

The NHL: A Violent Game Played By Violent People http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=weT1F1Ywp8w

I agree it's not for everyone, but do I seem violent to you? I haven't dropped the gloves in many years, and I only hit to hurt people, not injure them. If we gave away the Lady Byng, I'd be a contender every year.

Quote: Nareed

Hockey? Isn't that were savages with clubs fight in search of a mythical rubber disk that may not even be there? Which, BTW, for some reason is named after a woodlands fairy.

Clubs in their hands, yes, but you forgot knives on their feet ;) And the disk is called a "puck", something that we strike when we can't strike each other. Why "puck", you may ask? "Because dirty little bastard was taken" - Hall of Fame goalie Marty Brodeur.

Quote: Face

And the disk is called a "puck",

Yes, and Puck is the name of a woodlands fairy. So there :P

Besides, no one has actually seen the "puck," despite numerous attempts to broadcast the "games." Clearly the "goalies" are stand-ins for idols or totems of some sort, "guarding" each side's "temple" while the rest of the barbarians fight to the pain.

BTW, I should write up the aftermath of what happens after the Harbaugh's tiff. It's not like the Eastern Augustus will take the sacking of Baltimore lying down. On the other hand, he doesn't want to unleash a full-fledged civil war.

So, after successfully performing the Sack of Baltimore and bringing the Lombardi trophy back home, Harbaugh Minor renames himself Harbaugh Maximus Augustus. Naturally the first thing he does is to plan a freaking big triumph. And here he runs into a snag. His two top offensive Genereals, Kapernicus and Smitheus, each want their own triumph. The former insists he got the legion into contention to begin with, the latter says he actually got hsi hands on the prize (and so there! :P )

In the meantime, Harbaugh Magnus of the Eastern Empire is furious at losing the trophy even though the League assures him he's still the World Champion, and a replacement trophy is in the works. He gathers his legion, who are as angry as he is, and for good measure sends envoys to the barbarians in Nova Hispania Aurea, namely the Oakland Raiders. He promises them San Francisco's five Lombardi trophies, plus a fifth-round draft pick, a Ray Lewis jersey, and John Gruden's head on a pike.

The Raiders, naturally, jump at the overly generous offer. But Harbaugh Magnus is concerend about that legion's leadership. So he sends an envoy to contact Madden Magnus Maximus Augustus Emeritus, who sends back a very long response which can be sumamrized as "Are you serious?" The envoy reports Emeritus was then seen baording a bus for parts unknown.

Back in Nova Hispania, etc etc etc, Harbaugh Maximus Augustus sits down his generals and tells them "I am responsible for bringing my legion to the Big Game. I am responsible for the great sack of Baltimore. You were justa long for the ride. So I am having a triumph. You can ride along ten paces behind me, or stay home. I really don't care which."

As he exits the meeting room, the generals simulteanously realize they do have some common ground now.

To be continued...

I've been letting go a golden opportunity for pseudohistorical satire.

Seeing their glory snatched from their hands by Harbaugh Maximus Augustus, Smitheus propposes to Kapernicus a simple revolt. They'll gather the Legion of Nova Hispania Aurea and overthrow the tyrant.

Two days before the triumph, Kapernicus realizes he has a long career in front of him, and a fleeting triumph over a stolen trophy, not even recognized by the League, is not worth risking all. So he tells Augustus of Smitheus designs.

Seized by fury and hurt vanity, the latter only makes him angrier, Augustus gather the full Legion and marches in Smitheus direction. Kapernicus tries to fake an injury to get out of it, he doesn't really want to kill the other general, but Augustus sees right through him.

As the Legion marches through the streets, they get reports about the imminent arrival of Harbaugh Magnus and his Barbarian auxiliaries. Augsutus hesitates. The choice between vanity and victory being anything but easy, not to mention a healthy dollop of sibling rivalry. He dataches a flunky to trade Smitheus to Kansas City, and turns on the oncoming hordes.

At the first sight of Augustus' legion, the Barbarians from Oakland grab their Ray Lewis Jersey, Gruden's head on a pike, and run towards the Bay Bridge. Seeing his auxiliaries desert him, Harbaugh Magnus declares "You know, brother, I won the Super Bowl and the League is providing me with a replacement trophy. You won't show as champion this year even with an asterisk. So I win. Tell mom and dad "hi" for me, ok?" And calmly turns his Legion around for the long march back East, realizing with some measure of irony the past few days ahve been wasted and completely meaningless.

Meanwhile, in Kansas City, Smitheus boils with repressed fury. Not only did Augustus rob him of his Triumph, but he exiled him to the place where 49er quarterbacks go to die. At the tomb of Josephus of the Mountain's Memory, he begins to plot his revenge.