Truly Frightening
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July 13th, 2011 at 7:57:55 PM
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My wife's parents are 86. Her father does all the driving. They live in MT and have a house in MI and they drive here every summer. They drive as a team, his wife sits right beside him and has her hand always on the steering wheel. Why? He falls asleep while he's driving at least a dozen times an hour. Head on the chest, asleep. When this happens, about every 5 min, she says his name loudly and he snaps awake. So far they haven't killed anybody, but its only a matter of time. He's a former minister and says god protects them. Last year when he snapped awake, he hit the brakes and caused the woman behind to crash into them. It was an old car they were in and the insurance co totaled it and gave them $1500 and they can still drive the car. He fixed it and it looks fine. He thinks thats a funny story, the 'lord' was looking out for them that day. How he gets a license every time it expires is amazing, his hands shake so badly he can't eat sometimes.
"It's not called gambling if the math is on your side."
July 13th, 2011 at 8:35:50 PM
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I'm glad that your wife's parents haven't been hurt. That really is quite scary. Hopefully they know that they endangered the life of the woman who rear-ended them?
My grandparents had a very similar system before my grandpa passed away. Now grandma drives herself around a bit. Now that she's in practice, she's quite good at it. But she hadn't driven in 50 years (since before my mom was born) when she took it back up again.
My grandparents had a very similar system before my grandpa passed away. Now grandma drives herself around a bit. Now that she's in practice, she's quite good at it. But she hadn't driven in 50 years (since before my mom was born) when she took it back up again.
"So as the clock ticked and the day passed, opportunity met preparation, and luck happened." - Maurice Clarett
July 14th, 2011 at 2:44:21 AM
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Apparently you can contact the state police and tell them you need help. Not that we took that advice ourselves when we needed to. But I have to admit my father had some notions of limiting himself, and actually came around to giving up driving in his mid-80s. Perhaps the urging of one brother finally helped. It is remarkably hard to deal with elderly parents. One memory I have of it is having them get so starved for conversation, you had to wait and wait for them to talk themselves out before you could get to the point you could bring up certain topics!
In Maryland last winter or so an elderly couple who were doing just this very thing got off the main track, got their car stuck trying to turn around and the area was isolated enough they froze to death from exposure. Both found near the vehicle, the wife having started off to get help first by herself, evidently. I don't have to tell you that's just one thing that can happen. That generation grew up with a different attitude about cars, what with no seat belts, etc. I think this contributes to this failure to grasp the dangers.
In Maryland last winter or so an elderly couple who were doing just this very thing got off the main track, got their car stuck trying to turn around and the area was isolated enough they froze to death from exposure. Both found near the vehicle, the wife having started off to get help first by herself, evidently. I don't have to tell you that's just one thing that can happen. That generation grew up with a different attitude about cars, what with no seat belts, etc. I think this contributes to this failure to grasp the dangers.
the next time Dame Fortune toys with your heart, your soul and your wallet, raise your glass and praise her thus: Thanks for nothing, you cold-hearted, evil, damnable, nefarious, low-life, malicious monster from Hell! She is, after all, stone deaf. ... Arnold Snyder
July 14th, 2011 at 3:01:14 AM
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Mobility is important in our society even when it becomes dangerous.
I know one woman who left a job she liked to take care of an aging grandparent who needed "light assistance" and would soon need more extensive assistance. Hiring a chauffeur seems better than dozing off due to sleep apnea or something. Assisted care living centers are booming in some areas particularly those that have thriving commercial centers on site.
I know one elderly couple whose kids and grand kids were not willing to help them out so they rented out a downstairs separate entranceway place to a young woman with a kid. The low rent and increased water bill is the cost of the elderly couple's "assisted care". The couple still go grocery shopping but they no longer drive there or have to carry the groceries up the stairs.
I know one woman who left a job she liked to take care of an aging grandparent who needed "light assistance" and would soon need more extensive assistance. Hiring a chauffeur seems better than dozing off due to sleep apnea or something. Assisted care living centers are booming in some areas particularly those that have thriving commercial centers on site.
I know one elderly couple whose kids and grand kids were not willing to help them out so they rented out a downstairs separate entranceway place to a young woman with a kid. The low rent and increased water bill is the cost of the elderly couple's "assisted care". The couple still go grocery shopping but they no longer drive there or have to carry the groceries up the stairs.
July 14th, 2011 at 5:15:21 AM
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Simple. There is no requirement to take road tests once you pass that first time.Quote: EvenBobHow he gets a license every time it expires is amazing.
Don't get me started...Quote: EvenBob...says god protects them. ... the 'lord' was looking out for them that day.
I invented a few casino games. Info:
http://www.DaveMillerGaming.com/
Superstitions are silly, childish, irrational rituals, born out of fear of the unknown. But how much does it cost to knock on wood? 😁
July 14th, 2011 at 4:28:50 PM
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My parents are getting to that age as well.
So my rule of thumb is that if I am OK being a passenger
while my Dad is driving, then he's still a good enough
driver.
But when that is no longer the case, I'll have to try
and intervene. I think the local hospital where I live
has a simulator test to obtain objective data.
As preachy as this may sound, I think someone
needs to step in now for your father-in-law.
What if God is on a break when he crosses
over the center line ?
So my rule of thumb is that if I am OK being a passenger
while my Dad is driving, then he's still a good enough
driver.
But when that is no longer the case, I'll have to try
and intervene. I think the local hospital where I live
has a simulator test to obtain objective data.
As preachy as this may sound, I think someone
needs to step in now for your father-in-law.
What if God is on a break when he crosses
over the center line ?
There's emptiness behind their eyes
There's dust in all their hearts
They just want to steal us all and take us all apart
July 14th, 2011 at 4:50:13 PM
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Quote: JohnnyQMy parents are getting to that age as well.
So my rule of thumb is that if I am OK being a passenger
while my Dad is driving, then he's still a good enough
driver.
Passed that milestone about 6 years ago, when he was 80. Had
to ride with him somewhere and saw the little trick he had going
with his wife, and saw how she had to tell him a stop sign was
coming, a light was red, etc. Scared me straight, let me tell you.
Had dinner with them at a restaurant last night and they were
going to follow us to a store. He got in the wrong lane almost
immediately, the lane for entering the freeway only, and was
on the ramp about 50 feet and came to a complete stop. We
were sitting in the intersection watching this. He took off and
entered the freeway at about 40mph. Ring ring goes my wife's
phone, they're lost already. Next exit is 9 miles, they just went
home from there. Unreal.
"It's not called gambling if the math is on your side."
July 14th, 2011 at 5:08:39 PM
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I've been through a similar issue
Really, a good PSA for senior citizens would be to show the nightmare you can leave for your kids if you're planning to let possible competence issues be decided when you've already become incompetent. Not that everyone does become incompetent. But you probably should consider the possibility.
Really, a good PSA for senior citizens would be to show the nightmare you can leave for your kids if you're planning to let possible competence issues be decided when you've already become incompetent. Not that everyone does become incompetent. But you probably should consider the possibility.
Sanitized for Your Protection
July 14th, 2011 at 5:18:33 PM
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You can't talk to him. Just yesterday two of the daughters tried to get thru to him and he said his goal wasn't to get older so his children can order him around. He'll drive until something prevents him from doing it, like death. He'll tell you he's been driving since 1939 (13 years old) and he's never going to stop. In MT, he has a 30 year old 500cc trail bike he tears around his property on, I mean he really opens it up. Insanity..
"It's not called gambling if the math is on your side."
July 14th, 2011 at 5:39:08 PM
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If you think his judgement is already impaired, reasoning isn't going to work.
Sanitized for Your Protection
July 14th, 2011 at 5:55:02 PM
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He still hunts for all their meat in MT, and he charges other hunters to be their guide. There's nothing wrong with his brain, he's just in total denial about how old he is. In season, he hunts so much he gives half the meat away. Mr mountain man, thats how he see's himself.
"It's not called gambling if the math is on your side."
July 14th, 2011 at 6:01:04 PM
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Encourage your wife to make sure their affairs are in order. If the situation is as bad as you describe, it will, unfortunately, be sooner than later. Hopefully, he doesn't take any innocent bystanders with him.
Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication - Leonardo da Vinci
July 14th, 2011 at 6:04:48 PM
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What do you mean there is nothing wrong with his brain? He BLATANTLY risks the lives of himself, his wife, and everyone else who has the misfortune of being on the same road as him. Then to make matters worse, he pawns any and all responsibility off onto the "Lord". Yeah, I'd say there's not a thing wrong with him.
July 14th, 2011 at 6:34:26 PM
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It seems to be more a problem with men. When I was in Mexico, I noticed plenty of older widows who were pleased as punch not to have to worry about maintaining a car anymore. In that economy you can get around hiring taxis or drivers for longer rides without going broke.
But men have such a strong identification with driving, that they keep it forever. My grandfather would wake up years after his stroke and want the keys to his car. When my grandmother would tell him that he hadn't driven in years he would go into a delusional rage saying that she was conspiring against him.
But men have such a strong identification with driving, that they keep it forever. My grandfather would wake up years after his stroke and want the keys to his car. When my grandmother would tell him that he hadn't driven in years he would go into a delusional rage saying that she was conspiring against him.
July 15th, 2011 at 2:45:45 PM
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Dad must not drive until he has a complete physical. At least one of his children should accompany him and voice all concerns to the doctor. Once the doctor deems him unfit to drive, there may be a legal obligation to contact the DMV. This cannot wait! It's only a matter of time before mom misses one of the wake up calls.
July 15th, 2011 at 3:16:49 PM
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Apparently the team driving thing has been going on since cars were invented. I know driving is very important to the old man, he's always wanting to 'go' someplace other than where he is, ever since I've known him. He has a bunch of old vehicles he keeps running and has always been into working on cars and reselling them. He's a mans man type and you'll never get him to stop driving.
"It's not called gambling if the math is on your side."
July 15th, 2011 at 6:26:29 PM
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Bob:
Don't want to pile on here, but it is time for you to be a man's man
and get his driving skills tested ?
How will you feel if you do nothing and he ends up hurting someone,
or worse ?
You're not making all this up, are you ?
Don't want to pile on here, but it is time for you to be a man's man
and get his driving skills tested ?
How will you feel if you do nothing and he ends up hurting someone,
or worse ?
You're not making all this up, are you ?
There's emptiness behind their eyes
There's dust in all their hearts
They just want to steal us all and take us all apart
July 15th, 2011 at 8:55:43 PM
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Quote: JohnnyQBob:
Don't want to pile on here, but it is time for you to be a man's man
and get his driving skills tested ?
He just got a new license in March, he won't go back again and nobody
can force him to. His wife goes along with whatever he wants. From
what I'm reading, there are 10's of thousands of old people on the
road just like him. Why in god's name would anybody make up something
as ridiculous and common as old people not driving well? Up till my story,
did you think old farts were Indy race car drivers? They all have issues,
some are worse than others.
"It's not called gambling if the math is on your side."
July 16th, 2011 at 2:32:50 AM
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My understanding is that the state police will step in here and help handle this, without ratting you out or criminalizing his behavior. Check it out before someone dies.
the next time Dame Fortune toys with your heart, your soul and your wallet, raise your glass and praise her thus: Thanks for nothing, you cold-hearted, evil, damnable, nefarious, low-life, malicious monster from Hell! She is, after all, stone deaf. ... Arnold Snyder
July 17th, 2011 at 5:33:29 PM
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Quote: odiousgambitMy understanding is that the state police will step in here and help handle this, without ratting you out or criminalizing his behavior. Check it out before someone dies.
Do something !
I wasn't talking about a stupid BMV renewal. Find a Seniors Agency or
hospital that does a test on driving ABILITIES.
There's emptiness behind their eyes
There's dust in all their hearts
They just want to steal us all and take us all apart
July 17th, 2011 at 7:19:23 PM
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I have to agree that something should be done. For the safety of innocent bystanders if nothing else. What if he kills a little kid crossing the street? What if that kid was his grandchild? Would he be able to forgive himself for that?
July 17th, 2011 at 7:51:11 PM
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It is obvious that both the driver and his wife are incapable of making rational decsions about driving. Anyone that has knowledge of this type of activity and does nothing to prevent the inevitable accident is fully culpable. It is very difficult and you will face a lot of anomosity, but it can be done.
July 17th, 2011 at 7:53:30 PM
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Quote: odiousgambitMy understanding is that the state police will step in here and help handle this, without ratting you out or criminalizing his behavior. Check it out before someone dies.
They're at their house in N MI now and will be going back to MT from there. I won't see them again till next year.
"It's not called gambling if the math is on your side."
July 18th, 2011 at 1:09:28 AM
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Quote: EvenBobThey're at their house in N MI now and will be going back to MT from there. I won't see them again till next year.
Seems like you always want to vent and never do anything about it. At this point you might be setting yourself up for enabling or negligence.
July 18th, 2011 at 1:26:32 AM
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Quote: crazyiamSeems like you always want to vent and never do anything about it. At this point you might be setting yourself up for enabling or negligence.
Nothing to do about it, the state gave him a license and said he's fine to drive.
He won't listen to reason, he's still very much on the ball and won't be pushed
around. This seems to be a common problem in places like FL and AZ. Old people
shouldn't be given licenses, what are you gonna do.. Calling the cops doesn't work,
he has no tickets, has caused no accidents, and has a license and insurance, he's
gold as far as they're concerned.
"It's not called gambling if the math is on your side."
July 18th, 2011 at 2:46:03 AM
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Quote: EvenBobCalling the cops doesn't work
The state police where he lives may say these factors you cite are 'it for them', they won't touch him. Or they may say they have a special program where they assist in intervening to take these drivers off the road. I really wish you would try them.
the next time Dame Fortune toys with your heart, your soul and your wallet, raise your glass and praise her thus: Thanks for nothing, you cold-hearted, evil, damnable, nefarious, low-life, malicious monster from Hell! She is, after all, stone deaf. ... Arnold Snyder
July 18th, 2011 at 3:46:04 AM
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Quote: EvenBobNothing to do about it, the state gave him a license and said he's fine to drive.
He won't listen to reason, he's still very much on the ball and won't be pushed
around. This seems to be a common problem in places like FL and AZ. Old people
shouldn't be given licenses, what are you gonna do.. Calling the cops doesn't work,
he has no tickets, has caused no accidents, and has a license and insurance, he's
gold as far as they're concerned.
Ha. Like the lawsuit thread. Just give us a heads up. Option 1 is the only option.
I was taken in again thinking there was some reason to suggest something or other.
Sanitized for Your Protection
July 18th, 2011 at 4:33:04 AM
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Quote: rxwineHa. Like the lawsuit thread. Just give us a heads up. Option 1 is the only option.
I was taken in again thinking there was some reason to suggest something or other.
He is here to talk and boost his ego since he's always right :). EvenBob doesn't want advice he wants people to acknowledge he's trying to solve things, has thought of everything, but is still stuck with no way to solve his problems even though he hasn't tried any simple solutions.
July 18th, 2011 at 1:35:31 PM
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Quote: crazyiamHe is here to talk and boost his ego since he's always right :). EvenBob doesn't want advice he wants people to acknowledge he's trying to solve things,
Calling the cops on my wifes father isn't 'advice', its stupidity. Get real. This isn't the drunk next door, I have to live and deal with these people. Reminds me of when your kid gets in trouble you're supposed to turn him in to the cops. Thats the absolute last thing I would do. If my parents did that to me, I would never forgive them. Ever.
"It's not called gambling if the math is on your side."
July 18th, 2011 at 2:11:32 PM
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It IS a tough situation. I can sympathize with that. My gramps is getting on in years, still quite capable of operating a vehicle, but if and when he reaches the point that he can't, I can't imagine that taking his keys away would be an easy decision.
It does cause me great anger, seeing some of these people who are in no way capable of driving, tooling around like headless chickens. The day EvenBob wrote this I found myself behind an old couple. As soon as I got behind them I could tell something was up, I dunno, HODD (horrible old driving detection) was going off. I watch them get into the turning lane, stop, then proceed straight, which put them into the oncoming lane. I figured this doof would see he was on the English side of the double yellows, but nope, on he went. And went. And went. I had a while to think because he went on like this for a good long time, and if it wasn't considered improper, I would have PIT'd him right there. It got so bad I actually put myself in a position to do just that in case traffic happened to come by. It was crazy. All the way up the road, up the parking access road, even entered the parking garage on the wrong side and wasn't put to right until a gate stopped his wrong way progress. Even more messed up than the fact that he 'got away with it' is that if traffic happened to come by, all I could do is watch. Sure, I could've PIT'd him, and I most likely would've ended up in jail for it.
Some kid chirps his tires at a red light and the cops are all over it. Old Man Carnage lolligags up the wrong lane and not a soul to be seen. If we can't keep 'em off the road, at least put em in the Gee Whiz so no one gets killed
It does cause me great anger, seeing some of these people who are in no way capable of driving, tooling around like headless chickens. The day EvenBob wrote this I found myself behind an old couple. As soon as I got behind them I could tell something was up, I dunno, HODD (horrible old driving detection) was going off. I watch them get into the turning lane, stop, then proceed straight, which put them into the oncoming lane. I figured this doof would see he was on the English side of the double yellows, but nope, on he went. And went. And went. I had a while to think because he went on like this for a good long time, and if it wasn't considered improper, I would have PIT'd him right there. It got so bad I actually put myself in a position to do just that in case traffic happened to come by. It was crazy. All the way up the road, up the parking access road, even entered the parking garage on the wrong side and wasn't put to right until a gate stopped his wrong way progress. Even more messed up than the fact that he 'got away with it' is that if traffic happened to come by, all I could do is watch. Sure, I could've PIT'd him, and I most likely would've ended up in jail for it.
Some kid chirps his tires at a red light and the cops are all over it. Old Man Carnage lolligags up the wrong lane and not a soul to be seen. If we can't keep 'em off the road, at least put em in the Gee Whiz so no one gets killed
The opinions of this moderator are for entertainment purposes only.
July 18th, 2011 at 2:55:30 PM
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Quote: FaceIt IS a tough situation. I can sympathize with that. My gramps is getting on in years, still quite capable of operating a vehicle, but if and when he reaches the point that he can't, I can't imagine that taking his keys away would be an easy decision.
Its not any decision. The state makes that decision as to who can drive. My
father in law is a menace when he's driving, but his brain still functions as
it always did. He can answer any question, has a better memory than most
people 1/3 his age, and in charge of every situation he's in. Telling him what
to do is as pointless as teaching my dog to read. All it would accomplish
is him getting mad and not speaking to the family for a year. We already went
thru that 10 years ago and my wife and her sisters were in agony over it. This
kind of driving nonsense is the rule in FL, it happens everywhere. Women in their
90's who can't see over the steering wheel of their Cadillac.
"It's not called gambling if the math is on your side."
July 18th, 2011 at 2:56:00 PM
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Double post
"It's not called gambling if the math is on your side."
July 18th, 2011 at 4:51:49 PM
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Anyway, I was in physical rehab from an accident (not a driving accident) and they had a driving simulator there. They put me on it. It measured your reaction times to a video of normal traffic driving, so if you were slow hitting the brake, or turning the steering wheel it recorded it.
It's beyond the scope of measuring everyone who probably doesn't need to be on the road, but it would probably be pretty effective in shutting down objections like, I can drive just fine and all that.
It's beyond the scope of measuring everyone who probably doesn't need to be on the road, but it would probably be pretty effective in shutting down objections like, I can drive just fine and all that.
Sanitized for Your Protection
July 18th, 2011 at 5:19:39 PM
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Quote: rxwineIt measured your reaction times to a video of normal traffic driving, so if you were slow hitting the brake, or turning the steering wheel it recorded it.
You're never going to see that implemented to test drivers. It would be like making people take tests before they can vote, or prove they'll be good parents before they're allowed to have children. Never gonna happen.
"It's not called gambling if the math is on your side."
July 18th, 2011 at 5:24:33 PM
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Quote: EvenBobYou're never going to see that implemented to test drivers. It would be like making people take tests before they can vote, or prove they'll be good parents before they're allowed to have children. Never gonna happen.
Isn't that called the driving test? :)
I could see countries implementing a retest after x years policy. The UK has a policy of drivers over age 70 having to renew their licence every 3 years, but I'm not sure if that involves a full or partial driving test. People losing their licence for drink driving also may have to retake their driving test.
In the liberal (*) US, nah, I don't see added regulations occurring that stops people driving.
(*) Liberal in the sense of having many liberties...
"Then you can admire the real gambler, who has neither eaten, slept, thought nor lived, he has so smarted under the scourge of his martingale, so suffered on the rack of his desire for a coup at trente-et-quarante" - Honore de Balzac, 1829
July 18th, 2011 at 5:36:24 PM
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Quote: thecesspitIsn't that called the driving test? :)
.
Here's why the test is useless.
"In 2007, the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) released a report showing that teenage motorists represent a disproportionately higher percentage of traffic fatalities than all other age groups. For example, while drivers between the ages of 15 and 20 comprised only 8.5% of the driving population in 2007, they represented 12.7% of accident-related fatalities. Moreover, they represented 15.4% of all single-vehicle crashes."
Teens would pass the tests with flying colors, so what. The test proves nothing.
"It's not called gambling if the math is on your side."
July 18th, 2011 at 5:59:25 PM
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Quote: EvenBobHere's why the test is useless.
"In 2007, the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) released a report showing that teenage motorists represent a disproportionately higher percentage of traffic fatalities than all other age groups. For example, while drivers between the ages of 15 and 20 comprised only 8.5% of the driving population in 2007, they represented 12.7% of accident-related fatalities. Moreover, they represented 15.4% of all single-vehicle crashes."
Teens would pass the tests with flying colors, so what. The test proves nothing.
I dunno. Teens pass because they CAN drive properly, they just fail in real life because they choose not to. I would think a good number of seniors (my guy who didnt know he was going the wrong way, your fam that falls asleep every 10 min) would fail because they CAN'T drive properly, even though they try in real life. I think it might at least pull the worst of the worst off the road, IF such a test ever happens (it won't).
And I somewhat disagree with the 'tough decision'. I mean, sure, it's not your responsibility to monitor all actions of your family and deem what is and isn't allowed. I'm not saying your view is wrong, in other words. For me, however, I feel it IS a tough decision because I WOULD be responsible for making it. If and when my old man gets to that age, I surely wouldn't want him tearing around doing the examples in this post. That's my pops and I don't want him killing himself or others. But even if we had a falling out and I didn't care for him, he's a single guy and I'm his only child, therefore his only beneficiary. If he were to kill or maim X number of people in an accident, wouldn't my fathers estate or whatever still be held accountable for damages? As bad as losing my old man would be, I wouldn't want to add the fact that his life insurance, retirement, land, guns, etc had all been liquidated to pay the damages. It'd basically then be me paying for that. No thanks.
The opinions of this moderator are for entertainment purposes only.
July 18th, 2011 at 6:01:07 PM
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Who wants teens driving, besides teens?!
Yeah, unrealistic, but seriously, I'd be fine with that.
Yeah, unrealistic, but seriously, I'd be fine with that.
Sanitized for Your Protection
July 18th, 2011 at 6:16:45 PM
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Quote: FaceFor me, however, I feel it IS a tough decision because I WOULD be responsible for making it.
Proving somebody is a danger to himself and others isn't as easy as everybody seems to think, especially if they have no track record.
"It's not called gambling if the math is on your side."
July 18th, 2011 at 6:46:43 PM
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Quote: EvenBobHere's why the test is useless.
I was neither claiming efficacy of the test or otherwise, just that it already exists, and I could see it being added in some places for drivers over a certain age. Whether it would stop anything or solve a problem is moot.
Quote:"In 2007, the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) released a report showing that teenage motorists represent a disproportionately higher percentage of traffic fatalities than all other age groups. For example, while drivers between the ages of 15 and 20 comprised only 8.5% of the driving population in 2007, they represented 12.7% of accident-related fatalities. Moreover, they represented 15.4% of all single-vehicle crashes."
Teens would pass the tests with flying colors, so what. The test proves nothing.
This doesn't surprise me. I recall the single male, under 25 driver's account for a vastly larger proportion of accidents than they should.
"Then you can admire the real gambler, who has neither eaten, slept, thought nor lived, he has so smarted under the scourge of his martingale, so suffered on the rack of his desire for a coup at trente-et-quarante" - Honore de Balzac, 1829
July 18th, 2011 at 6:54:16 PM
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Quote: EvenBobProving somebody is a danger to himself and others isn't as easy as everybody seems to think, especially if they have no track record.
Undoubtedly. And going to that trouble for an in-law you see once a year from 7 states away probably ain't worth it, like you said. I just reckon that I would have more incentive and success simply due to the circumstance. My father means more to me than my in-laws, he lives 5 minutes away not 5 states away, an accident could possibly impact me very directly both emotionally and financially, etc. It'd be a hell of a lot more work than just asking "keys, please" but would be worth it. Kind of like if we we're talking about your child as opposed to an in-law. If your son or daughter lived just down the road and had severe narcolepsy or seizure issues, I doubt you'd just shrug and say "meh, what can you do?" no matter how much of a persnickety ol' codger you may be ;)
If my in-law still lived in Florida for most of the year, I'd have the same outlook as you. Well, I'd try, but bet the farm my wife would make me trek her ass back and forth to Florida for every visit. In any case, I couldn't see me battling it out with her, if it came to that. But Pops? Yup. It's already crossed my mind and filed away into the to do list of the future. If we could just get AARP to back my idea of Gee Whiz's for all seniors, this would be a moot point.
The opinions of this moderator are for entertainment purposes only.
July 18th, 2011 at 7:45:46 PM
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Quote: EvenBobProving somebody is a danger to himself and others isn't as easy as everybody seems to think, especially if they have no track record.
I do agree with that.
This not going to be an easy discussion to have.
But it absolutely, positively should be held.
Does your wife have any other siblings who could help ?
Check this site:
http://responsibility-project.libertymutual.com/resources/talking-to-elderly-drivers-a-roadmap#fbid=RPJ_l_dRGhq
There's emptiness behind their eyes
There's dust in all their hearts
They just want to steal us all and take us all apart
July 18th, 2011 at 7:50:28 PM
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Quote: EvenBobCalling the cops on my wifes father isn't 'advice', its stupidity. Get real. This isn't the drunk next door, I have to live and deal with these people. Reminds me of when your kid gets in trouble you're supposed to turn him in to the cops. Thats the absolute last thing I would do. If my parents did that to me, I would never forgive them. Ever.
So do it anonymously. Michigan has a form you can fill out and name and contact info are not required.
http://www.michigan.gov/msp/0,1607,7-123-1593_47093_25802-113047--,00.html
It's all really a question of how long you want to "live and deal with these people": the EV of your father-in-law's lifespan is much greater if you intervene than if he keeps falling asleep at the wheel. Down the road, I'd much rather be able to reflect on my in-laws lives and say "they died peacefully at home" rather than "they died when my father-in-law fell asleep and plowed into a minivan, killing everyone in both vehicles." Seriously -- how does your wife want to remember her parents when they're gone?
"In my own case, when it seemed to me after a long illness that death was close at hand, I found no little solace in playing constantly at dice."
-- Girolamo Cardano, 1563
