Sometimes I have a gambling problem

When I have things bothering me and there doesn't seem to be anything happening in the casino, I tend to gamble negative expectation games. It completely affects my mood, and sometimes I put money or a ticket in a machine knowing it's wrong, but I do it anyway. Sometimes I need to not be in a casino a day or two just because of both, not much opportunity and my fear of blowing up. I thought I was over it, but I am not. Sometimes, negative EV, but slight. I have to be over this, I cannot let a fear of a grim future, cause a grim future. I have not hurt anyone doing this, have not stolen or broken the law. Technically I can afford to lose the money, but I don't want to lose it. Sometimes I do it as a cover to appear normal in a casino, but it's too much for whatever benefit that brings. I like going to the casino every day somewhere, I've been told I shouldn't, it wears me down, but I don't do anything important a lot of time when I'm not in a casino.

Quote: onenickelmiracle

When I have things bothering me and there doesn't seem to be anything happening in the casino, I tend to gamble negative expectation games. It completely affects my mood, and sometimes I put money or a ticket in a machine knowing it's wrong, but I do it anyway. Sometimes I need to not be in a casino a day or two just because of both, not much opportunity and my fear of blowing up. I thought I was over it, but I am not. Sometimes, negative EV, but slight. I have to be over this, I cannot let a fear of a grim future, cause a grim future. I have not hurt anyone doing this, have not stolen or broken the law. Technically I can afford to lose the money, but I don't want to lose it. Sometimes I do it as a cover to appear normal in a casino, but it's too much for whatever benefit that brings. I like going to the casino every day somewhere, I've been told I shouldn't, it wears me down, but I don't do anything important a lot of time when I'm not in a casino.

Last poll option was supposed to be, didn't know "Call Me Maybe" song was about a girl interested in a gay guy, but she didn't know he was gay (as shown in the music video). Like this post if that's your vote, or like the last option.

Quote: onenickelmiracle

Last poll option was supposed to be, didn't know "Call Me Maybe" song was about a girl interested in a gay guy, but she didn't know he was gay (as shown in the music video). Like this post if that's your vote, or like the last option.

I have never made it that far into the video to find out, he's obviously not gay, because that's not a Miata he's working on one minute into the video.

Quote: AxelWolf

Quote: onenickelmiracle

Last poll option was supposed to be, didn't know "Call Me Maybe" song was about a girl interested in a gay guy, but she didn't know he was gay (as shown in the music video). Like this post if that's your vote, or like the last option.

I have never made it that far into the video to find out, he's obviously not gay, because that's not a Miata he's working on one minute into the video.

Do I have to remind you that it's not fine and it's not funny making fun of you people?

Quote: onenickelmiracle

When I have things bothering me and there doesn't seem to be anything happening in the casino, I tend to gamble negative expectation games. It completely affects my mood, and sometimes I put money or a ticket in a machine knowing it's wrong, but I do it anyway. Sometimes I need to not be in a casino a day or two just because of both, not much opportunity and my fear of blowing up. I thought I was over it, but I am not. Sometimes, negative EV, but slight. I have to be over this, I cannot let a fear of a grim future, cause a grim future. I have not hurt anyone doing this, have not stolen or broken the law.
Technically I can afford to lose the money, but I don't want to lose it. Sometimes I do it as a cover to appear normal in a casino, but it's too much for whatever benefit that brings.

I like going to the casino everyday somewhere, I've been told I shouldn't, it wears me down, but I don't do anything important a lot of time when I'm not in a casino.

i play poker in the casino for fun and to pass the time.
i'm slightly above breakeven.

while there, I play +ev machines when the opportunity arises.
but i also will stick $ in a -EV machine with a large MINI progressive because i find it fun to hit the progressive.

ONM has admitted this
I wonder what % on this board are in the same situation but are in denial?



the dark side of gambling
it's always there, maybe even for APs who win who are very bright and secretly wish they had spent their lives doing something else

Quote: lilredrooster

ONM has admitted this
I wonder what % on this board are in the same situation but are in denial?



the dark side of gambling
it's always there, maybe even for APs who win who are very bright and secretly wish they had spent their lives doing something else

I don't wish I was doing anything else

It's no secret I do wish I was major force in Hollywood. But I did give it a go and it didn't work out.

When I was younger I had two fantasies (non-sexually that is). Make it in Hollywood or be a pro gambler. I used to joke it's easier to beat the casinos than make it in Hollywood not realizing it would turn out so prophetic for me.

As to the OP, I think if you allow yourself some -ev fun that's ok. I do too. Separate it in your mind. You don't feel guilty because you spent money to see a movie or buy a car or take a trip to a destination vacation

So of I do any -ev gambling I take out any self recriminations and just have fun. When I do lose I just shrug because unlike the ploppies I WILL WIN IT BACK IN A DAY OR TWO

Quote: darkoz

I don't wish I was doing anything else

It's no secret I do wish I was major force in Hollywood. But I did give it a go and it didn't work out.

When I was younger I had two fantasies (non-sexually that is). Make it in Hollywood or be a pro gambler. I used to joke it's easier to beat the casinos than make it in Hollywood not realizing it would turn out so prophetic for me.

As to the OP, I think if you allow yourself some -ev fun that's ok. I do too. Separate it in your mind. You don't feel guilty because you spent money to see a movie or buy a car or take a trip to a destination vacation

So of I do any -ev gambling I take out any self recriminations and just have fun. When I do lose I just shrug because unlike the ploppies I WILL WIN IT BACK IN A DAY OR TWO

Who just robs a bank without ever being in a bank or knowing what a bank even is? Many just have a propensity to see gambling as something acceptable in the first place, then think again about what it takes to actually win. Most will be losers before they are winners, that risk taking is a part of them for many APs. However, I'm tired of it, and so often in the past, I have realized losing $1,000 by giving it away is really losing $5,000, and losing $5,000 by giving it away is really losing $25,000. I admitted I have a problem sometimes. I don't want to keep making excuses, and I want to be more successful. I have fought to get to another class and am there now, and I want to stay there and keep moving up. When opportunities dry up, I will be able to do something else if I want.

I do do this, because I'm not really skilled or good at anything else, but it doesn't bother me. I could have had a normal life, but I never wanted it. I like AP, but it's super lonely. I cannot trust anyone, it's hard meeting anyone out there on the road, but at least I'm out on the road. I'd be nothing at all without the forum and the people who have given good advice, I am grateful to all the people who have been good to me. You can give someone a handbook and $10,000 to a stranger and it won't do anyone any good, you have to be the right skill set and properly motivated to make it, that I am for now.

I do need to actually live life, but I'm too afraid to waste money. There are only so many days and hours left of good conditions, I can have a life when they're not so good. I don't really even know what I want out of life besides safety and security and some small luxuries. It's good for now.

I'm going to reinvest in myself over the next year, going to work on mental health. I think I have some pretty severe ADD, OCD and emotional issues the root cause of the bad things in my life I have forgotten how to deal with.

People don't like talking about this because they are afraid to not be trusted. I'd rather admit the truth and risk not being trusted, than to lie and know myself I can't be trusted. You can't pay me to do something I feel wrong about. I'm not pulling the trigger on anyone, I'm just waiting for them to kill themselves, then I'm grabbing the gun and bullet and reselling them. I'm not a vulture, I consider myself a microbe. I'm going to eat the bones everyone else thought were useless time after time. After enough bones, you have yourself a cemetery and a mausoleum to live in.

Your honesty is refreshing,ONM.
Whenever I feel like I’m in a bit of a rut in a Vegas casino environment I might take a little side trip out to the red rock area and do some hiking and rock climbing. Then when I come back to the casino environment I feel more optimistic and I enjoy the action. I am a card counter, but if I know that I’m not going to be in a good mood if I lose, then I don’t play.

Try to find a healthy diversion instead of gambling when you’re not at your best.

If all the casino shut down will people with gambling addictions flock to the online casinos?

It would be interesting to hear from LCB there's a huge uptick in depositing players.

Quote: AxelWolf

If all the casino shut down will people with gambling addictions flock to the online casinos?

It would be interesting to hear from LCB there's a huge uptick in depositing players.

Maybe, but flock, not so much. There are state sites with pretty decent offers. They're addicted to going to casinos to gamble. It's not the same. Plus money is tight with everyone sitting at home.