Racist or not?

There has been so much back and forth here on whether the POTUS is a racist or not. Whether he ever in his life used the N word.

My question for the forum..... You are a 19 year old guy/gal and looking for a date. You choose not to look at anyone who is from a different race than your own. Are you thus a racist?

( I had a date with an African American girl at 19 so I know I'm not talking about myself!)

Quote: SOOPOO

You choose not to look at anyone who is from a different race than your own.

Why not?

Quote: SOOPOO

There has been so much back and forth here on whether the POTUS is a racist or not. Whether he ever in his life used the N word.

My question for the forum..... You are a 19 year old guy/gal and looking for a date. You choose not to look at anyone who is from a different race than your own. Are you thus a racist?

( I had a date with an African American girl at 19 so I know I'm not talking about myself!)

Its too ambiguous a question. It depends in both your motivations and, more importantly, how you define racism.

If racism is just any form of racial prejudice then it is categorically racist.

If racism is animosity to other people based on race it might not be. Maybe you live in a community or family where it would just be a big headache.

You also might be fairly racist and have a sexual fetish for people outside your race.

Personally, I'm only into half Eskimo half Moldovan women.

If you have to ask if you are a racist, the question isn't needed.
A better question is how low will one go to defend the indefensible.
I never realized so many folks morals are fungible.

The real psychological issue here is that people are a product of their environment... and not many stop to think about their environment vs others. Thus, there are plenty of people in this world that are 110% racists, but they truly don't see themselves as racist. If you're brought up in an environment where your parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends, etc, are all racist, then you don't see them or yourself as racists... just "normal" because that is your normal, based on your environmental upbringing and views.

Often times most people that change their environment by going away to college, trips, moving areas, or even bringing in new friends from other environmental upbringings can show them the difference between them and highlight some of these behaviors they were previously rationalizing as normal... but of course you will always have those so opposed to change that even if this does happen, they just shut their eyes and yell "I'm normal, you're not! I'm not racist!" This is how racist people don't consider themselves, or similar others, to be racists... even though it's BLATANTLY OBVIOUS to the mass majority of us that someone like donald trump is a complete racist.

Question from the OP: Someone that specifically excludes anyone not of their own race, is clearly racist... however to them they might not see it that way. They might just say "well, I'm just not attracted to other races... what's wrong with that?" The truth here is they're not attracted to other races due to their environmental upbringing and subconscious racism. So yes, in 'reality' excluding other races from your dating pool does in fact make you racist.

Quote: billryan

If you have to ask if you are a racist, the question isn't needed.
A better question is how low will one go to defend the indefensible.
I never realized so many folks morals are fungible.

I didn't ask if any particular person was a racist. It is really to see how different people define racism. Rigon's answer is rational. You of course are unable to answer a simple question without jumping on your high horse.

Quote: Rigondeaux

If racism is just any form of racial prejudice then it is categorically racist.

I'm asking what YOU think. To YOU, is that 19 year old "a racist"?

Quote: SOOPOO

I'm asking what YOU think. To YOU, is that 19 year old "a racist"?

The very obvious answer, is yes. Even if they don't see themselves as racist (see my first response above) that doesn't mean they're not objectively and factually a racist.

Does that make this person a KKK member willing to burn buildings and hang blacks? Of course not... but are they racist? lol it's not a question. The answer is indisputably yes.

Is someone who refuses to date someone of their own sex homophobic? Or sexist? Racist if won’t date your own sex? This line of thinking is pretty absurd, it’s the same logic as thinking you can choose if you’re gay or not (sexuality product of environment, really?). There really is no line once you get a good witch hunt going

If you wouldn’t refuse to date any certain race but there’s races you’re much more likely to date due to sexual preference are you racist?

I think being racist is believing that some races are inferior, as in less evolved, than others. I will fully admit to being racial. If saying something like Germans make good watches and clocks makes me a racist, then I guess I am.

Quote: mcallister3200

Is someone who refuses to date someone of their own sex homophobic?

Depends....

How much is he paying me?

Quote: TigerWu

Why not?

Because you are not attracted to people of the other race?
Because you don't want to deal with your family who may not be as open about mixed race dating as you are?
Because you don't share a common heritage?

My question merely asks if the single act of not being willing to date someone from another race makes you a racist.

Romes and Rigon have declared it is an obvious yes! Early voting here has it 50-50.

I really wish I could find out how many white Congresspeople and Senators have dated outside of their race. I'll bet it is a very small percentage.

Quote: Wizard

I think being racist is believing that some races are inferior, as in less evolved, than others. I will fully admit to being racial. If saying something like Germans make good watches and clocks makes me a racist, then I guess I am.

You may be. But that is because you have used evidence you have gained throughout your 5 + decades to come to that conclusion. It doesn't make you bad, just observant.

(Yvonne and I just bought a cuckoo clock in Germany).

Quote: SOOPOO

...I really wish I could find out how many white Congresspeople and Senators have dated outside of their race. I'll bet it is a very small percentage.

Whoa, whoa, whoa... dated and had affairs with would be 2 completely different numbers ;-)... the old 'classic' is the far right conservative republican that basically preach being gay is a sin and should be illegal... then them resigning after getting caught in an affair with a young male.

Quote: SOOPOO

Because you don't want to deal with your family who may not be as open about mixed race dating as you are?

If the person decides not to date someone of another race because of other people's racism, then that is not a racist decision on their part.

My 10th grade Teacher touched on biased "good" Racism such as people who think a Black Man is automatically good at Basketball. I remember reading a book where a fictional Black character claimed someone automatically thought he was good at Basketball just because of his Race. He said,"I gave him a blank face and replied,"What is Basketball? Never heard of it!" LMAO!"

Quote: Nathan

A lot of people are getting Stereotypes mixed up with Racism. My 10th grader touched on the Stereotype thing a bit. "If you think a Black Man is automatically good at Basketball, that's a Stereotype."

Take away the word automatically and insert "more likely to be" and it is a fact. It is a stereotype as well.

Quote: SOOPOO

Take away the word automatically and insert "more likely to be" and it is a fact. It is a stereotype as well.

I quickly edited my post literally seconds after pressing send to say what he actually said,"Biased good racism," but he was implying a Stereotype. ;)

Quote: Wizard

I think being racist is believing that some races are inferior, as in less evolved, than others. I will fully admit to being racial. If saying something like Germans make good watches and clocks makes me a racist, then I guess I am.

Quote: SOOPOO

You may be. But that is because you have used evidence you have gained throughout your 5 + decades to come to that conclusion. It doesn't make you bad, just observant.

(Yvonne and I just bought a cuckoo clock in Germany).

So there are definitely varying degrees of racism. There are those with inferiority complexes, violence, etc... then there are those brought up with, for lack of a better term, I'll call 'mild racism' whom don't agree with the more outlying principles, but may in fact never ever want to date anyone not of their own race, for example.

To be bluntly honest, just given our timeline and history and how most of us alive today were brought up in an environment with older generations (commonly more racist)... most everyone here is more than likely racist, TO SOME DEGREE. Again, that doesn't make you an awful person until you take it across a certain line, but our environmental upbringings certainly impress upon us our morals and ideals... and if we were around people that were racist then, then we consider that more of a 'norm' than a racism.... which would more than likely be the mass majority of people alive today.

Quote: SOOPOO

I didn't ask if any particular person was a racist. It is really to see how different people define racism. Rigon's answer is rational. You of course are unable to answer a simple question without jumping on your high horse.

My position on the high horse evidently allows better viewing than wallowing in the mud does.

Quote: Romes

So there are definitely varying degrees of racism. There are those with inferiority complexes, violence, etc... then there are those brought up with, for lack of a better term, I'll call 'mild racism' whom don't agree with the more outlying principles, but may in fact never ever want to date anyone not of their own race, for example.

I remember a White Girl saying people thought she was a Racist just because she was White and she said she wasn't. IMHO, those people who thought she was Racist just because she was White were Racist themselves.

no because you have a preference of what you like and don't like, and there is nothing wrong with that. now if it's something illegal you're into damn your SOL bruh

Donald Sterling was banging/openly sugar daddying someone of another race. Despite one seemingly not racist act I’m pretty sure that guy is a racist.

Quote: SOOPOO

There has been so much back and forth here on whether the POTUS is a racist or not. Whether he ever in his life used the N word.

My question for the forum..... You are a 19 year old guy/gal and looking for a date. You choose not to look at anyone who is from a different race than your own. Are you thus a racist?

( I had a date with an African American girl at 19 so I know I'm not talking about myself!)

Funny you should ask.

When I was 18, I was home from college for Christmas break. I met this guy:

https://www.elnuevodia.com/deportes/baloncesto/nota/ernestomalcolmviveenamoradodelbaloncestoasus60anos-2332017/

And we went out about 6 times in 2 weeks. Really liked each other. He called the house. My mom took the message, said "who is this guy"? I said, his name is Ernestito (little Ernesto) and he's from Panama, plays basketball for Briar Cliff. She said, snooty, "So I suppose he's short and brown?" I said, "No, he's black as coal and 7 feet tall." My Dad laughed like hell while she turned beet red with anger.

Long story short, a few days later it came down to her screaming obscenities and epithets at me while I held the phone away from my ear and he was standing there hearing it, too. And he was so gracious and kind and sad and regretful all at the same time, me crying. Both of us knowing either I had to leave him or leave home over it.

Sometimes I think I made the wrong choice.

So stupid. So nothing to worry about. A genetic evolution based on how close your tribe lived to the equator. And yet people get killed over it every day.

WTF, over.

Quote: SOOPOO

My question merely asks if the single act of not being willing to date someone from another race makes you a racist.

Romes and Rigon have declared it is an obvious yes! Early voting here has it 50-50.

I really wish I could find out how many white Congresspeople and Senators have dated outside of their race. I'll bet it is a very small percentage.

I'd say yes too. But why worry about climbing that hill? Let's just climb the one where people accept interracial couples, just like any other couple. They can live in your neighborhood, they work where you work. If everyone can climb that hill that's pretty good. And if a person is still making cracks about inter-race couples, like he or she is one of the good ones, you're still not there. You don't make cracks like an American officer can speak perfect English.

Quote: Nathan

My 10th grade Teacher touched on biased "good" Racism such as people who think a Black Man is automatically good at Basketball. I remember reading a book where a fictional Black character claimed someone automatically thought he was good at Basketball just because of his Race. He said,"I gave him a blank face and replied,"What is Basketball? Never heard of it!" LMAO!"

I read an article in Scientific American, I think, that went into the history of this "stereotype." I'm not sure how rigorous the study was, but the conclusion was something like "black people really ARE that much better at basketball, but it's only because they are SUPPOSED to be better at basketball." It was basically a self-fulfilling stereotype. There's nothing that genetically says black people are better at basketball. They just gravitate towards it for cultural reasons, and hence get really good at it. Same reason white people are better at hockey. But then you have things like all those African marathon runners where I think their environment has something to do with it.

Quote: SOOPOO

My question for the forum..... You are a 19 year old guy/gal and looking for a date. You choose not to look at anyone who is from a different race than your own. Are you thus a racist?

No.

Why is having standards for who you choose to date "racist."

You might have standards for appearance, weight, or religion as well. We have a choice who we go home with.

Quote: SOOPOO

I really wish I could find out how many white Congresspeople and Senators have dated outside of their race. I'll bet it is a very small percentage.

Why would anyone care?

Quote: SOOPOO

(Yvonne and I just bought a cuckoo clock in Germany).

I have a German cuckoo clock too.

Quote: AZDuffman

No.

Why is having standards for who you choose to date "racist."

It depends on the context. How about this:

a) "I don't date Asian people because I generally don't find them attractive."

b) "I refuse to mix my purebred white heritage with some dirty ignorant yellow monkey blood."

Both are standards that someone might have to choose to not date someone, but you can't tell me one of those reasons is not severely racist.

Quote: AZDuffman

No.

Why is having standards for who you choose to date "racist."

So pick your perfect woman in every way you can think of.
Now make her a race you wouldn't date.

Okay, what are you?

Quote: djatc

no because you have a preference of what you like and don't like, and there is nothing wrong with that. now if it's something illegal you're into damn your SOL bruh

And where do you think this "preference" comes from???

...all back to environmental upbringing.

I was watching a show called What Would You Do on YouTube that dealt with Racist themes.

1 episode had Gabriel, a Black Actor pretend he left his Laptop on a Coffeeshop table while he used the bathroom. He asked complete strangers to watch his laptop(In real life this is begging for your laptop to be stolen) . They agreed. Michelle, a pretty, young, White Actress walked in, carefully took the laptop and made a break for it and the first strangers, a father and daughter chased after her and demanded she give Gabriel his laptop back and then they ratted her out to Gabriel who "Came back," she gave it back to him. Later on, Gabriel asked two elderly best friends who were there for lunch to watch his laptop. They agreed. Michelle walked in and once again CAREFULLY picked it up and the ladies mentioned that was Gabriel's laptop. Michelle mentioned that Gabriel was her friend and gave her permission to take his laptop home with her. The ladies were skeptical, but gave her the benefit of the doubt, and let her walk out the door with it.

Gabriel came back asking where his laptop was. The ladies mentioned his friend Michelle took it and described her. Gabriel was incredulous and mentioned that he didn't have a friend named Michelle and wasn't friends with anyone who looked like Michelle. He mentioned she straight up lied to them and told them off for letting a complete stranger steal his laptop. The elderly friends mentioned she looked sweet and honest so they gave her the benefit of the doubt(A YouTube Poster inferred something like,"White, young, pretty, and female equals sweet and honest. Gotcha!")

The show flipped the script and Gabriel was now the thief and Michelle was the laptop owner. Gabriel haphazardly picked up the laptop as if he didn't care to treat it well. The watchers were on his case within seconds of him attempting to Steal Michelle's laptop. YouTube Posters recalled with Michelle she actually LEFT with Gabriel's laptop, but with Gabriel, they caught on within seconds and the Posters cried Racism! The more level headed Posters mentioned that Gabriel was being shadily suspicious and picked it up roughly as if he didn't care all that much about it, whereas Michelle was treating it delicately as if it were her own.)

In another episode, a tidy, professional Black CEO of an upscale Men's Suit Store, named Samuel went undercover as a street bum/customer wearing a ratty hairdo, bummy clothes, . The White Clerks were actors in on it. The Clerk Actors followed Samuel like a hawk. Two elegant and sophisticated ladies were shopping for their husbands and were shocked at how Samuel was being treated. The Clerk Actors told them they thought Samuel was going to steal because he looked like a poor, ratty street bum. The Clerk Actors told the ladies that they wouldn't be followed because they looked elegant and sophisticated nd looked wealthy. They laughed in uncomfortable shock. IIRC, there was another elegant and sophisticated lady who said something like,"I am a White Woman from Eastern Europe. I could put on elegant and sophisticated clothes and steal from your store! You shouldn't judge people on their appearances." A Black person wearing a business suit who looked tidy and professional was left alone to shop in peace. YouTube Posters mentioned that it was clearly stereotypical, not Racist that the Black ratty looking "street bum,"(Secret CEO of said store) was followed by the Clerk Actors and the Black person wearing a tidy business suit was left alone. The YouTube posters mentioned they would have followed him too if they were the Clerk Actors in real life if they didn't know who he was because he looked like a bum who didn't have the money to shop in an upscale Men's Suit Store.

Quote: TigerWu

It depends on the context. How about this:

a) "I don't date Asian people because I generally don't find them attractive."

b) "I refuse to mix my purebred white heritage with some dirty ignorant yellow monkey blood."

Both are standards that someone might have to choose to not date someone, but you can't tell me one of those reasons is not severely racist.

This. I find comments like those of Romes to be very condescending. I am sure you dont mean it that way and that you feel that you are right, but I think you are dead wrong. People, ALL people, have a tendency to want to date people of their own race. Black, White, Yellow...we all tend to seek out our our people. We tend to be attracted to our own.

I have this as a follow up question to those who answered yes, what if you are not generally attracted to SOME races, but not others. Are you still racist? For example, I generally tend to Asian women and White woman. Does that make me racist for not filling out the whole spectrum of the rainbow. Viewing such a matter is such a black and white manner is absurd.

Quote: rxwine

So pick your perfect woman in every way you can think of.
Now make her a race you wouldn't date.

Okay, what are you?

If she is a race I would not date she is no longer perfect. Race is just a dating factor like any other.

Quote: TigerWu

It depends on the context. How about this:

a) "I don't date Asian people because I generally don't find them attractive."

b) "I refuse to mix my purebred white heritage with some dirty ignorant yellow monkey blood."

Both are standards that someone might have to choose to not date someone, but you can't tell me one of those reasons is not severely racist.

It is no more racist than those who brag about being multi-racial. They are not causing harm. No harm m and no racism.

Quote: VCUSkyhawk

. People, ALL people, have a tendency to want to date people of their own race. Black, White, Yellow...we all tend to seek out our our people. We tend to be attracted to our own.

Color choice can be inflicted on people.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KHxFuO2Nk-0

Quote: AZDuffman

It is no more racist than those who brag about being multi-racial. They are not causing harm. No harm m and no racism.

So your benchmark for racism is whether or not it causes physical harm?

Quote: TigerWu

So your benchmark for racism is whether or not it causes physical harm?

Not necessarily “physical” but actual harm. And I don’t mean offended snowflakes. Someone using race as a dating standard hurts nobody.

Pointing out inconvenient facts hurts nobody. Figure I will get that out there as I can see where you will go with this.

To me sexual preference is different than racism. Appearance plays a big role in who we sexually prefer and that is deeply woven within us.

That said, I will go with the motivation. If you decide to not date Chinese women for example because their figure is generally diminutive and you like larger features I would say that isn't racist. If you decide to not date Chinese women because you believe they're inferior that's racist.

In short when it comes to choosing sexual partners of course you can choose based on appearances and not be deemed a racist. When it comes to employment you can't make choices based on race or appearances.

Quote: Romes

And where do you think this "preference" comes from???

...all back to environmental upbringing.

Upbringing might give you restriction on what you find is "acceptable" but for the most part people will end up in a relationship with someone they find attractive, not what others think its "acceptable". But then again I tend to think most people settle on a balance between what kind of person they want in a partner, and what they can realistically get.

Sometimes what you want and what you get are 2 different things.

Quote: boymimbo

To me sexual preference is different than racism. Appearance plays a big role in who we sexually prefer and that is deeply woven within us.

That said, I will go with the motivation. If you decide to not date Chinese women for example because their figure is generally diminutive and you like larger features I would say that isn't racist. If you decide to not date Chinese women because you believe they're inferior that's racist.

In short when it comes to choosing sexual partners of course you can choose based on appearances and not be deemed a racist. When it comes to employment you can't make choices based on race or appearances.

I was just about to type the same thing.
If you dont date because you are not attracted to them then it is not racist. If you dont because you have ill will towards the entire race then it clearly is.

There should be a law where you cant date your own race. In a few generations there would just be a bunch of mixed breeds. It would end racism and probably religious issues and we would have world peace.

Quote: SOOPOO

My question merely asks if the single act of not being willing to date someone from another race makes you a racist.

I would answer this question in the affirmative. When I was single, few white women would give me the time of day, so I had absolutely no problem with looking elsewhere.

Quote: AZDuffman

Not necessarily “physical” but actual harm. And I don’t mean offended snowflakes. Someone using race as a dating standard hurts nobody.

Pointing out inconvenient facts hurts nobody. Figure I will get that out there as I can see where you will go with this.

So in my example above, if a person thinks that Asians are "dirty ignorant yellow monkey blood," your contention is that saying and believing that is NOT racist? Am I understanding you correctly or not?

Quote: TigerWu

So in my example above, if a person thinks that Asians are "dirty ignorant yellow monkey blood," your contention is that saying and believing that is NOT racist? Am I understanding you correctly or not?

THAT would be the very definition of racism.

Quote: rxwine

I'd say yes too. But why worry about climbing that hill? Let's just climb the one where people accept interracial couples, just like any other couple. They can live in your neighborhood, they work where you work. If everyone can climb that hill that's pretty good. And if a person is still making cracks about inter-race couples, like he or she is one of the good ones, you're still not there. You don't make cracks like an American officer can speak perfect English.

Funny thing about your post..... I will be in Vegas for one day..... In October friends (Black man, White woman) are getting married. We spent a week with them in Punta Cana last May, and I really didn't think much of their race at all. Just another older guy (like me) with a cute younger girl (like me)! She would say cute things like "I love his chocolate bald head", but race really doesn't come up. I think it is a positive as to how far things have come; my perception is 40 years ago it would have come up a lot.

Quote: Romes

And where do you think this "preference" comes from???

...all back to environmental upbringing.

This is patently true.

Sometimes it could simply be a product of being in a monocultural environment. Attraction is to some degree learned.

I'd wager that a much higher % of southern California non- Latinos are attracted to Latinos than are Japanese.

Another aspect of this is media. This is where we see people from outside our community. Are many people from group x on? Are they attractive and portrayed as such or are they always middle aged servants?

So some of my individual response might be a natural reaction to my environment.

A lot of people see racism (probably out of convenience) as David Duke. But what are these more subtle factors?

Obviously, there is a scale where things get more overt.

My own experience is that I initially liked white girls. Another issue obviously is we model our ideal mates on our parents.

As I grew older I learned to broaden my horizons. As with most areas of life, people who fail to do this are foolishly depriving themselves.

You only live once. Why stay in one place, eating burger king everyday, dating and being friends with people just like you and watching at listening to whatever fabricated trash corporations market to you?

Quote: TigerWu

So in my example above, if a person thinks that Asians are "dirty ignorant yellow monkey blood," your contention is that saying and believing that is NOT racist? Am I understanding you correctly or not?

I am saying what is the difference. Selection on race is no different than not dating women taller than you. Over a certain age or weight. Anything. Personal decision. I thought we were not supposed to question why people choose who they do.

Quote: AZDuffman

I am saying what is the difference. Selection on race is no different than not dating women taller than you. Over a certain age or weight. Anything. Personal decision. I thought we were not supposed to question why people choose who they do.

Dude, you are as evasive at Slick Willy. Next, you are going to ask what is meaning of "is" is.

Quote: VCUSkyhawk

Dude, you are as evasive at Slick Willy. Next, you are going to ask what is meaning of "is" is.

I wonder why.

Are those with jungle fever or yellow fever racists? What about mud sharks?

TBH, I don't find black people to be attractive. I can see how someone may find them attractive, but not for me. Granted, there was one girl in one of my comp sci classes in college I thought was kinda cute, but she looked more like a really tan white chick with black hair. She dropped the class tho. Later figured out she got expelled for slanging ice.