EvenBob

I don't know if you saw it or not, but I apologize for speaking so harshly of your comment. It was one comment, I over-reacted.

I stand by my general position on the comment, but the over-reaction was wrong. I was unwarranted in stating that I would not speak to you again. It was an immature thing for me to say, and I apologize for that. You have neither done nor said anything against me personally, and that is also a fact I should have taken into consideration.

It is good to see you back.

Quote: Mission146

I stand by my general position on the comment .

Really. You said: an "unjustified, unwarranted, unsolicited and un-called for personal attack"
was done by me in the caption I wrote for the picture. Can you explain what you mean? The
comment was there 3 weeks before anybody said a word. There was no outcry, it wasn't
reported to anybody. What was the nature of my 'personal attack'? I know why I made the
comment, but before I explain I want to know what you meant.

(this is a seperate issue from the vampire comment)

Quote: EvenBob

Really. You said: an "unjustified, unwarranted, unsolicited and un-called for personal attack"
was done by me in the caption I wrote for the picture. Can you explain what you mean? The
comment was there 3 weeks before anybody said a word. There was no outcry, it wasn't
reported to anybody. What was the nature of my 'personal attack'?

(this is a seperate issue from the vampire comment)

That's exactly what it was.

I mean that the person about whom the attack was made did absolutely nothing in that thread to you, at least nothing that I could discern. That makes it unsolicited.

It is unjustified because it is nothing more than opinion, there is no objective evidence as to the truth/falsity of the comment.

It was unwarranted simply because there was no reason you should have felt compelled to say that.

It was uncalled for due to all of the above.

The length of time it was there is irrelevant, or if it is relevant, it means that you had that much time that you could have retracted the comment and you didn't. I refuse to believe that you are of the opinion that you did not say a potentially hurtful thing. I'm not necessarily saying it was hurtful, in fact, but potentially hurtful.

I would have called you on it had I seen it, but my attention was only directed to that thread via the, "Discussion..." thread.

It's very important to a woman to feel beautiful, EvenBob, so we shouldn't make comments that could potentially detract from a woman's self-outlook with respect to her appearance.

There are many women to whom such things are a more inherent part of their self-evaluation compared to men, but certainly not all women. However, I find it advisable to assume that I am speaking to/about such a woman when making comments about a specific woman because I would not want to hurt her.

Your comment, in that one instance, showed a fundamental lack of concern for the feelings of another human being. I'm not saying that you do that, or that you exhibit those traits, I think you're probably a nice guy for the most part, but that one comment.

I reiterate that it was one comment. I do apologize for my over-reaction. This discussion may continue, if you would like.

You haven't explained how my quote from the movie Tootsie
was an insult. What part of it was insulting?

Tootsie was a groundbreaking movie about a man dressing
as a woman and not only not being ridiculed, but being accepted
as a woman and flourishing. The transgendered community
of the early 80's loved Tootsie. A man put on a dress and makeup
(it didn't matter the reason) and got in touch with his feminine
side and was the better for it by the end of the movie. Tootsie
was chosen by the Library of Congress for preservation as a
'culturally significant movie'.

Tootsie is taught in almost every film school in the world as an
almost perfect example of a screen play. It has solid character
development, doesn't stray from the storyline, and the Dustin
Hoffman character noticibly grows and changes as the film
moves along. And all this happens while being wildly entertaining
and funny. In the top 100 best comedies of all time, its always
in the top 5.

I was trying to give Nareed a compliment with the Tootsie
comment. Tootsie was a milestone, it subtly changed how we
look at men who wear womens clothes. It was a masterpiece.
I'm not an idiot, why would I insult Nareed on a forum that
has made it clear that intolerance will not be tolerated. I
posted it 3 weeks before anybody said a word about it. There
were no outcries of horror, there were no comments at all.
Why wasn't everybody up in arms at the great personal
attack?

The comment was good natured and harmless. And thats
how it was obviously received with the lack of negative
comments about it.

I can't wait to see my man Bob's reply to this...bracing for a laugh out loud moment!!!!

Edit: Dang it...too late....and nothing really all that funny in the reply. Bob...are you slipping a little???

Well, EvenBob, I owe you even more of an apology.

I read your post and scrolled through some past threads. I have to admit that I did not think that there was any reason that what you said would be in any way an apt comparison, but it turns out, that is an apt comparison.

To be blunt, my assumption was that Nareed is a naturally-born woman, I didn't stare at the picture or anything and still haven't. Comparing a naturally-born woman to a transgendered man in a movie is obviously very offensive.

I do not know whether or not what you said is offensive now. I don't know what the rules on that are. I'm from the Midwest and I have never, to my knowledge, physically seen a transgendered individual that I knew to be transgendered. I apologize because I don't know whether or not your comment was actually offensive or could be taken as such...

so, it was all about how you treat another human being before.
but now you just don't know.
check.

Quote: WongBo

so, it was all about how you treat another human being before.
but now you just don't know.
check.

It's not at all like that.

You go from comparing a naturally born woman to a transgendered man to comparing a transgendered man to a transgendered man. That's what I am saying. If someone compares me (as a man) to another man, I wouldn't take offense. If someone were to compare me physically (I'm 6'4" 227lbs, so you really couldn't) to a woman, it is quite possible I would take offense.

You're comparing a transgendered man to a transgendered man. I would imagine that is the same as comparing a woman to a woman, a man to a man, or a transgendered woman to a transgendered woman, that is my entire point.

If Nareed viewed herself strictly as a woman, period, it would be different and still offensive per my opinions in the, "Discussion..." thread, but Nareed views herself as a transgendered man, by admission. If not, "Views," then, "Has acknowledged."

EvenBob says it was meant as a compliment. It is a good thing to do to compliment other people, so it's still about how you treat (or at least intend to treat) another person.

Quote: Mission146

I do not know whether or not what you said is offensive now. I don't know what the rules on that are. I'm from the Midwest and I have never, to my knowledge, physically seen a transgendered individual that I knew to be transgendered. I apologize because I don't know whether or not your comment was actually offensive or could be taken as such...

My comment was good natured, take my word for it.