Flirting with female dealers
Several years later, I'm talking to a teammate and he's telling me some story about how some dealer was flirting with him. He couldn't remember the same, so I asked, was her name H_____? He was like yeah I think so? So I pulled up her FB page on my phone and asked "Is this her?"
One of those it's a small world moments.
Well, you can take the sentiments of Lake Street Dive literally or not. Many women wear a ring "to keep the flies off" and some wear one to attract a bit of attention since a ring indicates, in some circumstances, don't still be there when I wake up.Quote: UTHfanI've noticed a lot of female dealers wearing fake wedding rings, so watch for them slipping it off if they be interested in you.
If a woman is standing on her feet all shift, don't ask her to go to a dance club. She will think you are a jerk. A rich jerk perhaps, but still a jerk.
Wedding Band
Maybe one of those cocktail waitresses at the Encore, HL Aria, Mandalay Bay or the Cosmo? Yet I am sure they are being hit on so many times they are practically immune to the nonsense. So.... Nope.
If they flirt with you, again, 99.9% of the time it is in an attempt to get better tips. In which case, reciprocate in kind but don't elevate. Keep it at the same level as she is and enjoy yourself -- and if you enjoy it and she's doing her job well, tip generously!
Quote: CrankyCupcakesChiming in as a woman to say that the best move is to not flirt or make ribald comments/jokes to any female cocktail waitresses or dealers. They are working. This is their job, it's how they earn their living and support themselves and (in some cases) their families. Getting hit on at work by customers puts them in a terrible position -- they have to reciprocate in kind or, at the very least, politely decline or smile, no matter how offensive or disgusting or inappropriate said "hitting on" is. Trust me when I tell you that 99.9% of the time, they think you are being a creep, taking advantage of the fact that they are a captive audience and at risk of losing their job and/or tips if they blow you off or say what they are really thinking. Respect that they are working, and tip generously if they are doing their job well.
If they flirt with you, again, 99.9% of the time it is in an attempt to get better tips. In which case, reciprocate in kind but don't elevate. Keep it at the same level as she is and enjoy yourself -- and if you enjoy it and she's doing her job well, tip generously!
So they can pretend to be interested in a customer for their own financial gain but customers should not flirt with them for their own entertainment value?
Quote: aceofspadesSo they can pretend to be interested in a customer for their own financial gain but customers should not flirt with them for their own entertainment value?
She's saying that the women have to be there and you don't, so if she starts a flirt, you can safely flirt back, but don't take it as an invitation to ask for a date, put your hands on her, or say something crassly sexual or embarrassing to her. If she doesn't start a flirt, you're probably not welcome to start one, and if you persist when she doesn't respond, your persistence is very unwelcome and you're a creep.
She's being paid to work for tips, wear provocative clothing, and be nice to you whether she likes you personally or not. She hopes you can recognize that it's part of her job description to be attractive and welcoming, and enjoy that she's part of the experience but not personally available in that setting (even if she does like you). It's different from a woman who's not at work and appears available, like in a bar or other social place; you can take your chances there and expect a personal response, good or bad.
It might be useful (though demeaning to the woman) to think of all women-at-work (in those types of situations) by stripper rules. They're salespeople, selling the illusion of availability, adding to the atmosphere and your experience, but not touchable or a free date. You're being invited (and paying for the chance) to look, and that's about all.
Quote: beachbumbabsShe's saying that the women have to be there and you don't, so if she starts a flirt, you can safely flirt back, but don't take it as an invitation to ask for a date, put your hands on her, or say something crassly sexual or embarrassing to her. If she doesn't start a flirt, you're probably not welcome to start one, and if you persist when she doesn't respond, your persistence is very unwelcome and you're a creep.
She's being paid to work for tips, wear provocative clothing, and be nice to you whether she likes you personally or not. She hopes you can recognize that it's part of her job description to be attractive and welcoming, and enjoy that she's part of the experience but not personally available in that setting (even if she does like you). It's different from a woman who's not at work and appears available, like in a bar or other social place; you can take your chances there and expect a personal response, good or bad.
It might be useful (though demeaning to the woman) to think of all women-at-work (in those types of situations) by stripper rules. They're salespeople, selling the illusion of availability, adding to the atmosphere and your experience, but not touchable or a free date. You're being invited (and paying for the chance) to look, and that's about all.
She doesn't have to be there - she chooses to work there.
Quote: aceofspadesShe doesn't have to be there - she chooses to work there.
Yes, that's true. But no woman, even a stripper, is personally available to you if she doesn't want to be. If you assume she's working there because she was just waiting for you to walk through the door, pick her up, and take her away from all this, it's very likely you're wrong. It's a business transaction developed by our culture; beautiful women are used to sell everything from cars to hemorrhoid cream. She's an interactive part of the décor. And almost always nothing more. If she's interested, she'll find a way to tell you that won't cost her the job.
Quote: beachbumbabsYes, that's true.
That was where I stopped reading - if you say she chooses to be there and chooses to flirt to increase tips, then any customer who also chooses to be there can choose to flirt with her to up their own entertainment value
Additionally, in the wake of the new feminism, I didn't think flirting or even asking a woman out was allowed by law anymore?
Quote: WizardSomewhere on Cocktail Doll's site she discusses this topic. I don't remember her exact words but as I recall they were pretty much what BBB just wrote. For good tippers she will engage in a little banter but she hates to get overtly hit on and thinks very low of men stupid enough to think they have a shot as a total stranger.
We are all strangers until we're not
Quote: aceofspadesQuote: WizardSomewhere on Cocktail Doll's site she discusses this topic. I don't remember her exact words but as I recall they were pretty much what BBB just wrote. For good tippers she will engage in a little banter but she hates to get overtly hit on and thinks very low of men stupid enough to think they have a shot as a total stranger.
We are all strangers until we're not
since you are celibate, I don't think you understand the laws of attraction.
If you possess one or more of these traits, you are allowed to hit on the cocktail waitress
1. Big spender
2. Famous
3. Ridiculously good looking
If you are an average joe, you may not hit on the cocktail waitress. so you see, it's a very simple, yet harsh reality. but good thing you are celibate so you don't have to worry about these things.
Quote: AvincowQuote: aceofspadesQuote: WizardSomewhere on Cocktail Doll's site she discusses this topic. I don't remember her exact words but as I recall they were pretty much what BBB just wrote. For good tippers she will engage in a little banter but she hates to get overtly hit on and thinks very low of men stupid enough to think they have a shot as a total stranger.
We are all strangers until we're not
since you are celibate, I don't think you understand the laws of attraction.
If you possess one or more of these traits, you are allowed to hit on the cocktail waitress
1. Big spender
2. Famous
3. Ridiculously good looking
If you are an average joe, you may not hit on the cocktail waitress. so you see, it's a very simple, yet harsh reality. but good thing you are celibate so you don't have to worry about these things.
I'll have to check and see where I stand on those three traits you list :-)
If anybody has a chance you do. Don't be shy.Quote: aceofspadesQuote: WizardSomewhere on Cocktail Doll's site she discusses this topic. I don't remember her exact words but as I recall they were pretty much what BBB just wrote. For good tippers she will engage in a little banter but she hates to get overtly hit on and thinks very low of men stupid enough to think they have a shot as a total stranger.
We are all strangers until we're not
Best line for you....Hi my name is Ace Ill have a limo for us when you get off work, let's go party, I promise you'll have a good time, bring a friend if you'll feel more comfortable, as long as she is almost as hot as you.
She will say yes or no. If she has a legitimate excuse she will give you her number and tell you when she's available.
If you don't have the balls to execute that then you need to head to the HRH or SLS and get your $300 ready.
Don't forget power. Be it in business, government, sports or just local social circles. Power definitely exerts one of the strongest pulls on women.Quote: aceofspadesIf you possess one or more of these traits, you are allowed to hit on the cocktail waitress
1. Big spender
2. Famous
3. Ridiculously good looking
Quote: AvincowQuote: aceofspadesQuote: WizardSomewhere on Cocktail Doll's site she discusses this topic. I don't remember her exact words but as I recall they were pretty much what BBB just wrote. For good tippers she will engage in a little banter but she hates to get overtly hit on and thinks very low of men stupid enough to think they have a shot as a total stranger.
We are all strangers until we're not
since you are celibate, I don't think you understand the laws of attraction.
If you possess one or more of these traits, you are allowed to hit on the cocktail waitress
1. Big spender
2. Famous
3. Ridiculously good looking
If you are an average joe, you may not hit on the cocktail waitress. so you see, it's a very simple, yet harsh reality. but good thing you are celibate so you don't have to worry about these things.
you left out washed up craps dealers...we hit on everybody
Quote: DrawingDeadI do know of one poker dealer in town (not a friend of mine) who could be described as "professionally pregnant." In the casual chit-chat with tourists while dealing she can be counted on to let slip something about needing to get something or other for the baby that will be coming. And she's had that supposed bun in the oven for at least seven or eight years that I'm aware of. And prolly will for another seven or eight as long as it keeps working.
As long as the bun doesn't look like me when it's finished baking, I don't care.
I hate hard luck stories, especially if they are any good. I'll probably give up some extra cash, and also suspect I was had.
Quote: CrankyCupcakesChiming in as a woman to say that the best move is to not flirt or make ribald comments/jokes to any female cocktail waitresses or dealers. They are working. This is their job, it's how they earn their living and support themselves and (in some cases) their families. Getting hit on at work by customers puts them in a terrible position -- they have to reciprocate in kind or, at the very least, politely decline or smile, no matter how offensive or disgusting or inappropriate said "hitting on" is. Trust me when I tell you that 99.9% of the time, they think you are being a creep, taking advantage of the fact that they are a captive audience and at risk of losing their job and/or tips if they blow you off or say what they are really thinking. Respect that they are working, and tip generously if they are doing their job well.
If they flirt with you, again, 99.9% of the time it is in an attempt to get better tips. In which case, reciprocate in kind but don't elevate. Keep it at the same level as she is and enjoy yourself -- and if you enjoy it and she's doing her job well, tip generously!
Great post! When some men reach a certain age disgusting seems to become part of their repertoire. They think they can do whatever they please and get a pass because they're old. I see it often in the casinos and these creeps give the rest of us "old" guys a bad reputation.
Guys, if you're in your 60s, 70s, or even in your 50s, trust me, that 20 or 30 something woman that you've been leering at or commenting to is not interested. She's not into your stale booze and tobacco stench, your shoe polish dyed hair with the ridiculous comb over or your beer belly. She may or may not be interested in your money but most women have more respect for themselves.
Now there's nothing wrong with light banter/mutual flirting between consenting parties as long as no one feels coerced. Most people know the boundaries. This is completely different from the dirty old man scenario.
Let me ask the guys something. How do you feel when a waitress or sales clerk calls you honey, hon, sweetheart, or sweetie? Are you offended or flattered? Do you find it condescending? Does it depend on her age or your age or both? I'm fine with it but many are not.
Quote: 1BBHow do you feel when a waitress or sales clerk calls you honey, hon, sweetheart, or sweetie?
This is a really bad habit for a saleslady to get into. I don't like it but mostly because I have to repress this compulsion to tell them how stupid it is.
Quote: odiousgambitThis is a really bad habit for a saleslady to get into. I don't like it but mostly because I have to repress this compulsion to tell them how stupid it is.
Ha ha. Wait until we get a little older and they start yelling at us because they assume that we can't hear.
Quote: 1BBHow do you feel when a waitress or sales clerk calls you honey, hon, sweetheart, or sweetie? Are you offended or flattered? Do you find it condescending? Does it depend on her age or your age or both? I'm fine with it but many are not.
I just consider something regional. But not sure anymore if it's just one region.
However generally you should think of Aunt Bee when you hear it regardless of how attractive the lady is, not Jessica Rabbit, because it's being used like a common but friendly greeting not an invitation.
if it were an invitation, it should seem odd that every woman at the highway pancake house wants a piece of you and they may have just met you when they all use it.
Quote: 1BBLet me ask the guys something. How do you feel when a waitress or sales clerk calls you honey, hon, sweetheart, or sweetie? Are you offended or flattered? Do you find it condescending? Does it depend on her age or your age or both? I'm fine with it but many are not.
I'm flattered. Age doesn't matter.
waitress says "sweetie" to me - I'm good
sales lady says it - I'm mildly irritated. Happened recently with woman selling me new glasses.
Quote: odiousgambitsweetie is my least favorite
waitress says "sweetie" to me - I'm good
sales lady says it - I'm mildly irritated. Happened recently with woman selling me new glasses.
Calling you sweetie shows just how confused/crazy that lady really is, wouldn't you agree? ;-)
Quote: RaleighCrapsCalling you sweetie shows just how confused/crazy that lady really is, wouldn't you agree? ;-)
Better get some aloe vera on that burn... =D
I don't mind at all if a female employee (in or out of the casino) calls me hun/sweetie/etc. I enjoy the playful banter either way =p.
In Las Vegas "sugar" "hon" "sweetie" "babe" etc. are used as common terms of respect.
Alternatively: "Sir" = "you motherforking scumsucking halfwit douchenozzle."
Things I hate being called by women. 1. Hun 2. Honey 3. Sweetie. These are used constantly in Vegas so I suppose I should get used to it.
Things I hate being called by men, especially those I don't know: 1. Buddy 2. Boss 3. Bro 4. Brother
My very attentive waiter yesterday called me boss, buddy, and bro within a 5 minute span yesterday, I was thinking he was about to call me honey next.
Quote: mcallister3200I find it condescending, and it's one of the things I hate being called by women I don't know.
Things I hate being called by women. 1. Hun 2. Honey 3. Sweetie. These are used constantly in Vegas so I suppose I should get used to it.
Things I hate being called by men, especially those I don't know: 1. Buddy 2. Boss 3. Bro 4. Brother
My very attentive waiter yesterday called me boss, buddy, and bro within a 5 minute span yesterday, I was thinking he was about to call me honey next.
You need to chillax broham, why u so mad bro?
Flirting with female dealers, once in a while, if clever, and done in good taste, is okay. It's all a matter of degree and intention.
I like being clever and funny with female dealers, but I rarely flirt.
Quote: GreasyjohnHere's what guys should consider if they flirt with female dealers. Imagine being a 25 year-old guy. You're dealing blackjack with a 55 year-old woman at the table. If she made statements to you, even if nuanced, that suggested she wanted to take you home and ravage your body, how would you feel about that?
Flirting with female dealers, once in a while, if clever, and done in good taste, is okay. It's all a matter of degree and intention.
I like being clever and funny with female dealers, but I rarely flirt.
Sounds like tip hustling to me :)
Quote: aceofspadesThat was where I stopped reading - if you say she chooses to be there and chooses to flirt to increase tips, then any customer who also chooses to be there can choose to flirt with her to up their own entertainment value
Additionally, in the wake of the new feminism, I didn't think flirting or even asking a woman out was allowed by law anymore?
So what you are saying is that your desire to be entertained/sexually stimulated is equal to her need to pay her bills? And you see nothing, well, completely and utterly creepy and self-centered about that?
She's not paid to get someone's rocks off (go to different parts of Nevada for that), she's paid to deal cards and/or serve drinks, and to do so competently and efficiently. If flirting gets her more tips and so she lightly flirts, how, exactly, does that entitle the customer to elevate the interaction? I'm serious, I'd like to know why you think that if she's trying to work her job to the best of her abilities, that means she's fair game for whatever a creep throws at her.
And thank you, BBB, for clarifying! Yours was an excellent post.
Quote: CrankyCupcakesSo what you are saying is that your desire to be entertained/sexually stimulated is equal to her need to pay her bills? And you see nothing, well, completely and utterly creepy and self-centered about that?
She's not paid to get someone's rocks off (go to different parts of Nevada for that), she's paid to deal cards and/or serve drinks, and to do so competently and efficiently. If flirting gets her more tips and so she lightly flirts, how, exactly, does that entitle the customer to elevate the interaction? I'm serious, I'd like to know why you think that if she's trying to work her job to the best of her abilities, that means she's fair game for whatever a creep throws at her.
And thank you, BBB, for clarifying! Yours was an excellent post.
Quote: CrankyCupcakesSo what you are saying is that your desire to be entertained/sexually stimulated is equal to her need to pay her bills? And you see nothing, well, completely and utterly creepy and self-centered about that?
She's not paid to get someone's rocks off (go to different parts of Nevada for that), she's paid to deal cards and/or serve drinks, and to do so competently and efficiently. If flirting gets her more tips and so she lightly flirts, how, exactly, does that entitle the customer to elevate the interaction? I'm serious, I'd like to know why you think that if she's trying to work her job to the best of her abilities, that means she's fair game for whatever a creep throws at her.
And thank you, BBB, for clarifying! Yours was an excellent post.
CC, welcome to the forum! I thought your post was the good one; I was trying to reinforce the message you sent.
AoS, honestly, I can't believe you can't tell the difference between a woman working as a professional hostess and entertainer, and a woman who wants to get better acquainted personally. If she wants to know you, she will do something like:
Saying, "I get off shift at (whenever). Meet me at the lounge over there (or wherever).
Taking your phone and punching in her contact information.
Handing you a slip of paper with her number along with your drink or your change.
There are rules for her to keep her job. She can't tell you off if you're being a creep, can't even tell you she's not interested in some places, can't have any negative interaction with you no matter what you say to her. You're a customer, and valuable to the house. You're profit; she's overhead. She'll get written up or fired if she's not friendly and welcoming to you and every other guy no matter what you do, up to the point security has to intercede. Do you really want to push things that far with a captive woman?
There are places, many of them, where if she IS interested, she has to be very careful about letting you know, as well. They also fire women who pick up customers during work, so if one DOES do something like I suggested above, you still need to keep it easy and to yourself while she's working.
Most of those jobs, the woman is listed as an entertainer, not as a waitress or dealer or whatever. That gives the house a lot of say in how she dresses (including makeup, weight, jewelry, tattoos, how high her heels have to be, lots of other details) and how she interacts with the customers, and she can be fired for a lot less than you'd think if she gets it wrong in either direction (too friendly or too repulsed), even if the customer is the one causing the problem. I would hope you wouldn't put her in position to lose her job just for your entertainment.
Quote: beachbumbabsCC, welcome to the forum! I thought your post was the good one; I was trying to reinforce the message you sent.
AoS, honestly, I can't believe you can't tell the difference between a woman working as a professional hostess and entertainer, and a woman who wants to get better acquainted personally. If she wants to know you, she will do something like:
Saying, "I get off shift at (whenever). Meet me at the lounge over there (or wherever).
Taking your phone and punching in her contact information.
Handing you a slip of paper with her number along with your drink or your change.
There are rules for her to keep her job. She can't tell you off if you're being a creep, can't even tell you she's not interested in some places, can't have any negative interaction with you no matter what you say to her. You're a customer, and valuable to the house. You're profit; she's overhead. She'll get written up or fired if she's not friendly and welcoming to you and every other guy no matter what you do, up to the point security has to intercede. Do you really want to push things that far with a captive woman?
There are places, many of them, where if she IS interested, she has to be very careful about letting you know, as well. They also fire women who pick up customers during work, so if one DOES do something like I suggested above, you still need to keep it easy and to yourself while she's working.
Most of those jobs, the woman is listed as an entertainer, not as a waitress or dealer or whatever. That gives the house a lot of say in how she dresses (including makeup, weight, jewelry, tattoos, how high her heels have to be, lots of other details) and how she interacts with the customers, and she can be fired for a lot less than you'd think if she gets it wrong in either direction (too friendly or too repulsed), even if the customer is the one causing the problem. I would hope you wouldn't put her in position to lose her job just for your entertainment.
BBB - of course I can tell the difference but, who else will play devil's advocate other than the resident divorce attorney, the devil's closest ally :)
I never once brought up anything about making sexual advances - for some reason cupcakes decided that that was what I was implying which, I was not
All I am saying is that women believe they can use their looks and sensuality to separate men from their money but when it comes to men actually actively flirting with these same women, it becomes the cause célèbre to denounce the men as "creeps"
Quote: CrapsalldayHas any one here worked in a casino??? I have worked at 5 major casinos and have NEVER been told to flirt with customers. You are to treat every customer with respect and the utmost kindness. If men flirted with me, I would take it as flattery, and smile. I was propositioned with every thing under the sun. That's life. As for grabbing a customers phone and putting in my phone number??!?!? What is that? You can not or should not do that. If I were a man, and a casino worker did that, I would question how many times she did that today. As far as slipping my number to a customer on a piece of paper, that's tacky and unprofessional. I no longer work in a casino and am back full time in my career.
Hi, Crapsallday, and welcome to the forum. I don't think anyone, especially me, is saying the casino tells the waitress to flirt with the customers. The discussion is more about what options a woman has when a customer flirts with her, whether it's welcome or not. As you say (and we've said), that's life working at that kind of job.
What I was saying about the phone (which another guy on here had happen to him) and the note, IF, in the RARE event she wants to encourage you, she will find a way to tell you; I was trying to provide a few examples of how she might do that. The default should be that it's all professional friendliness, and in my experience most men understand that.
Quote: CrapsalldayHas any one here worked in a casino??? I have worked at 5 major casinos and have NEVER been told to flirt with customers. You are to treat every customer with respect and the utmost kindness. If men flirted with me, I would take it as flattery, and smile. I was propositioned with every thing under the sun. That's life. As for grabbing a customers phone and putting in my phone number??!?!? What is that? You can not or should not do that. If I were a man, and a casino worker did that, I would question how many times she did that today. As far as slipping my number to a customer on a piece of paper, that's tacky and unprofessional. I no longer work in a casino and am back full time in my career.
I have never worked in a casino but I have seen plenty of men flirt with dealers and cocktail waitresses — and the other way around.
BBB and cupcakes — I saw a guy playing roulette at Revel once ask a cocktail waitress for a number to play on roulette - this guy was older (probably 70 or thereabouts) and the number hit, he summoned the cocktail waitress over and gave her a $500 chip (purple) — she basically sat in his lap, gave him a prolonged hug and gave him a big kiss (on the cheek) — so now, who is playing who?
Quote: aceofspadesBBB - of course I can tell the difference but, who else will play devil's advocate other than the resident divorce attorney, the devil's closest ally :)
I never once brought up anything about making sexual advances - for some reason cupcakes decided that that was what I was implying which, I was not
All I am saying is that women believe they can use their looks and sensuality to separate men from their money but when it comes to men actually actively flirting with these same women, it becomes the cause célèbre to denounce the men as "creeps"
If flirting isn't a soft sexual advance (which I think it is), wouldn't one call it "complimenting" instead? If there are no differences between the two, then anyone commenting on anyone else's appearance would be considered flirting, would it not? May want to be careful about telling Bob "Nice tie!" next time at the office, in that case, if you don't happen to fancy men.
Why is a man giving a woman money based on her looks/sensuality her fault? She didn't steal that money, it's pretty unlikely she even asked for it (assuming we're still talking about tipping and not 2 people who know one another and have a relationship). He had a choice regarding what to do with that money and made it.
As for flirting, it approaches creepiness when a. said flirtee is a captive audience with little to no option to deflect the flirt (as we're discussing here) or b. when said flirtee does not reciprocate (which indicates no interest) and said flirter continues to flirt, and/or flirt more aggressively.
Examples:
Flirting with the woman seated next to you at the table isn't creepy.
Continuing to flirt with her after she has either completely ignored you or otherwise indicated disinterest is creepy.
Flirting with a female dealer who has not indicated she's interested in such banter is creepy.
(Note: using "you" in the collective sense, not the specific sense.)
Quote: CrankyCupcakesQuote: aceofspadesBBB - of course I can tell the difference but, who else will play devil's advocate other than the resident divorce attorney, the devil's closest ally :)
I never once brought up anything about making sexual advances - for some reason cupcakes decided that that was what I was implying which, I was not
All I am saying is that women believe they can use their looks and sensuality to separate men from their money but when it comes to men actually actively flirting with these same women, it becomes the cause célèbre to denounce the men as "creeps"
If flirting isn't a soft sexual advance (which I think it is), wouldn't one call it "complimenting" instead? If there are no differences between the two, then anyone commenting on anyone else's appearance would be considered flirting, would it not? May want to be careful about telling Bob "Nice tie!" next time at the office, in that case, if you don't happen to fancy men.
Why is a man giving a woman money based on her looks/sensuality her fault? She didn't steal that money, it's pretty unlikely she even asked for it (assuming we're still talking about tipping and not 2 people who know one another and have a relationship). He had a choice regarding what to do with that money and made it.
As for flirting, it approaches creepiness when a. said flirtee is a captive audience with little to no option to deflect the flirt (as we're discussing here) or b. when said flirtee does not reciprocate (which indicates no interest) and said flirter continues to flirt, and/or flirt more aggressively.
Examples:
Flirting with the woman seated next to you at the table isn't creepy.
Continuing to flirt with her after she has either completely ignored you or otherwise indicated disinterest is creepy.
Flirting with a female dealer who has not indicated she's interested in such banter is creepy.
(Note: using "you" in the collective sense, not the specific sense.)
So then you are saying female dealers and cocktail waitresses can make "soft sexual advances" for money but men, under no circumstances, should flirt back…?
