Best election themed joke
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There may not be a candidate worth voting for, but there surely is a candidate worth voting against
Robert Heinlein.
But this works only as a joke. a vote against Obama is still a vote for Romney, or Gary Johnson, or someone.
Edit: in truth, some of Heinlein's futurist social constructs are potentially more interesting than any of the actual candidates' ideas.
Quote: MathExtremistAmbiguous punctuation could lead one to believe you're advocating voting against Robert Heinlein...
Well, had he ever run for anything, I would ahve adviced voting against him. The man lacked any understanding of principle, and he made a point of saying he knew what was best for others.
Quote: NareedWell, had he ever run for anything, I would ahve adviced voting against him. The man lacked any understanding of principle, and he made a point of saying he knew what was best for others.
I cannot allow this comment to go unchallenged.
As a fan of Heinlein, I vehemently disagree.
Robert believed in a powerful military, individual freedom, and liberal, open sexuality.
I'd vote for him.
Just curious: what is the basis for your opinion that he lacked any understanding of principle?
1. In my many years I have come to conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. -- John Adams
2. If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed, if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed. -- Mark Twain
3. Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But then I repeat myself. -- Mark Twain
4. I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle. --Winston Churchill
5. A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.
-- George Bernard Shaw
6. A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money. -- G. Gordon Liddy
7. Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner. --James Bovard, Civil Libertarian (1994)
8. Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries.
-- Douglas Case, Classmate of Bill Clinton at Georgetown University.
9. Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. -- P.J. O'Rourke, Civil Libertarian
10. Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else. – Frederic Bastiat, French Economist(1801-1850)
11. Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.
-- Ronald Reagan (1986)
12. I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. -- Will Rogers
13. If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you
see what it costs when it's free! -- P. J. O'Rourke
14. In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other. --Voltaire (1764)
15. Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you! -- Pericles (430 BC)
16. No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session.
-- Mark Twain (1866)
17. Talk is cheap, except when Congress does it. -- Anonymous
18. The government is like a baby's alimentary canal, with a happy appetite at one end and no responsibility at the other. -- Ronald Reagan
19. The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the blessings. The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of misery. -- Winston Churchill
20. The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin. -- Mark Twain
21. The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools. -- Herbert Spencer, English Philosopher (1820-1903)
22. There is no distinctly Native American criminal class, save Congress. -- Mark Twain
23. What this country needs are more unemployed politicians
--Edward Langley, Artist (1928-1995)
24. A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have. -- Thomas Jefferson
25. We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office. -- Aesop
"Election Day is near. Go to the polls and vote. Vote for the idiot of your choice, BUT VOTE!"
The original joke uses "Kennedy" instead of "idiot".
Quote:Frauds are institutionalised because the expansion of capitalism has not been accompanied by moral constraints that require consideration of the social consequences of the get-rich quick schemes that dominate corporate life.
In such an environment, numerous practices are considered to be acceptable as long as they generate private profits.
Those excelling at such practices are considered to be entrepreneurial and given bonuses, salaries, share options and other rewards, which in turn fuels a frenzy for more of the same.
Hillarious.
This one's not bad: "I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do. I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable, I tolerate them; if I find them too obnoxious, I break them. "
Quote: TinhornGamblerGREAT POLITICAL QUOTES
1. In my many years I have come to conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. -- John Adams
2. If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed, if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed. -- Mark Twain
3. Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But then I repeat myself. -- Mark Twain
4. I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle. --Winston Churchill
5. A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.
-- George Bernard Shaw
6. A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money. -- G. Gordon Liddy
7. Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner. --James Bovard, Civil Libertarian (1994)
8. Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries.
-- Douglas Case, Classmate of Bill Clinton at Georgetown University.
9. Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. -- P.J. O'Rourke, Civil Libertarian
10. Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else. – Frederic Bastiat, French Economist(1801-1850)
11. Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.
-- Ronald Reagan (1986)
12. I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. -- Will Rogers
13. If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you
see what it costs when it's free! -- P. J. O'Rourke
14. In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other. --Voltaire (1764)
15. Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you! -- Pericles (430 BC)
16. No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session.
-- Mark Twain (1866)
17. Talk is cheap, except when Congress does it. -- Anonymous
18. The government is like a baby's alimentary canal, with a happy appetite at one end and no responsibility at the other. -- Ronald Reagan
19. The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the blessings. The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of misery. -- Winston Churchill
20. The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin. -- Mark Twain
21. The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools. -- Herbert Spencer, English Philosopher (1820-1903)
22. There is no distinctly Native American criminal class, save Congress. -- Mark Twain
23. What this country needs are more unemployed politicians
--Edward Langley, Artist (1928-1995)
24. A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have. -- Thomas Jefferson
25. We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office. -- Aesop
well you missed...
I am a member of no organized political party, I am a democrat -- Will Rogers
Quote: gameshowfanTo borrow from Vaughan Meader's "The First Family":
"Election Day is near. Go to the polls and vote. Vote for the idiot of your choice, BUT VOTE!"
The original joke uses "Kennedy" instead of "idiot".
The first elections after Kennedy was assassinated were at trip. If your last name was Kennedy or you changed it legally to Kennedy, you could win almost any elected office at the local level. Felons named Kennedy were elected sheriffs, men with no medical training were elected coroners, and in one case a guy was elected Judge. He was serving a life sentence at the time.
Quote: Eazzywell you missed...
I am a member of no organized political party, I am a democrat -- Will Rogers
Seems to fit the Republican party now. Still waiting to see if they can somehow screw up taking control of the Senate.
Might help if they would run on their platform instead of only I AM NOT OBAMA !
Quote: BuzzardSeems to fit the Republican party now. Still waiting to see if they can somehow screw up taking control of the Senate.
Might help if they would run on their platform instead of only I AM NOT OBAMA !
Isn't that how Obama got elected running on the platform "I am not Bush? How many times have you heard the expression " I am voting for the lessor of two evils"?
Remember it was Clinton that signed Nafta into law, lest we forget. And Bush's WTO, "they" hate us, we have met the enemy and it is us. Kennedy's report from Iron Mountain, and how to control the people in times of peace.
Thats the problem in a nutshell, the only perps that make it to the top are vetted by the same owners, we do not have any choice let alone the better of evils, which is still evil.
Ok, on topic. This is an old one but I like it. John Kerry walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face"?
Ok, here is probably my all time fave politco humor. This actually happened, don't make me look up the date.
Senator John Connally[who got hit with a pass through bullet in the Kennedy limo] was in a discussion about nuclear power with Ted Kennedy. Ted was opposed to nuke power at the time and John Connally was pro. This happened on live national tv mind you.
Kennedy was saying how dangerous nuke power was and Connally pipes up and says "there were more people killed at Chappaquiddick than Three mile island" I still guffaw.
