I'm miserable, right? Old joke routine plaguerized

Heard something similar a couple times a year, 20 or thirty years ago on the radio, made me smile at the time. Don't know exactly why it popped into my head today, my mind works in mysterious ways ;-). Don't know how to give credit to the original 'author', they never gave out his name. I've added a twist to make it applicable to gamblers, gambling had nothing to do with the original routine. The original author was a young black comedian, wish I knew his name so I could give him credit.

I'm miserable, right? I'm walking down the street with a duffle bag that has my meager belongings inside. I've got about 10 blocks to go between where I just got off the bus and where I have to go to meet the wrecker service I've called to tow my broke down car to the shop to see if it's even worth fixin'. They want cash up front, so I gotta go meet them. I'm miserable, right?

We need to go back a couple hours or more to explain this particular predicament......... I played cards all weekend ( Blackjack ) and I lost big time, I'm miserable, right? I mean somtimes the cards just work out that way, wasn't my fault. I was actually winning a little back but had to leave to go to work, left just in time, but on the way the old car went kaplunck (sp), just quit....so now I gotta walk, got there 45 minutes late. The boss comes to me and says " you look like jhit and you been late 3 times in the last week, you're fired". Job is now gone, I'm miserable, right? I called my girlfriend on the phone, just to let her know all that is goin' on,.... explained the whole deal... And she just didn't understand....She said "you lost all your money, then you're old car broke down, then you got yourself fired? " "Guess what, you ain't got no girlfriend anymore either". "Get you're jhit out of my house before I get home from work or I'll call the police". I'm miserable, right!

Now back to where we started, I'm walking down the street, with my duffle bag, on the way to meet the wrecker service, without a job, and without a girlfriend (or home). I'm miserable, right? So as I'm walking along I pass by this little store with a big sign in the window that reads , " you're miserable, right?" I say to myself, "right". Sign goes on to say "New Life Pills on sale, for 1/2 off, today only". I say to myself, "wow, 1/2 less than they were yesterday, they'll be twice as much again tomorrow". So I go in and purchase a little bottle of these "New Life" pills, and read the instructions. It say's " take one pill every 12 hours, or as needed". There was some other fine print but I figured I'd already got the scoop so I took one, gulp, and went on down the street. About a block later nothing had happened, I'm miserable, right? So I took another of those little pills, gulp, and proceeded down the street (with my duffle bag). A block or two later I got to thinking....I'm miserable, right? But I'm not quite as miserable as I was just a block or two back, so I took two more, gulp, gulp, and proceeded down the street with my duffle bag with my meager possessions inside. I'd only made it another block or two when my legs just quit working and I fell down. Now I'm laying on my back on the sidewalk, duffle bag beside me, and people are tip toeing around me and pretending they don't actually see me. I'm pretty sure they could see me cause no one actually stepped on me. I'm looking up at a really pretty blue sky, just a couple of big white puffy clouds floating by, and then I noticed that there were birds singing somewhere in the background. I'm miserable, right? Well not exactly... I'm feeling pretty good really.....as I laid there watching the clouds float thru a beautiful blue sky....... You know, it really was a jhitty car, probably not worth fixin', let the city impound it. And she really wasn't all that great a girlfriend, no big loss there, and besides I'm feellin' lucky right about now. If I walk that way two blocks, catch the northbound line with a free transfer, I can be back at the Gamblin' House in like 30 minutes. I still got a couple hundred in my pocket, that's enough to show them, to show them all! I just have to wait till my legs start workiin' again......I'll take the duffle bag with me, just to play it smart...... I'm not miserable after all, right?........Cheers! ...... 2F