Panhandler Put Down Lines

No matter your ideas on panhandlers you have to agree at the least they get annoying. I find it helps to have a few "get lost" lines. Some I have used


"Can you spare a quarter?"
"All I have is hundreds"
This one stops them in their tracks.

"Do you have $5?"
"Yes" (then I keep walking"
panhandler waits a few secods, sort of thinking thru a logic-tree, then, "WELL GIVE IT TO ME!"

Who can add a few?

As a smoker, I get hit up all the time. 2 that I use:

'Say buddy, got an extra smoke?'
'Sorry. No. This pack only came with 20.'

'Say man, can I have a cigarette?'
'Sorry, I don't smoke.'

The latter is used when I am actively smoking.

"Hey, do you..."
"No hablo Ingles."

I am white and of obvious Irish descent, so this throws them for a loop. Last time I did this she switched to, "Senora..." to which I cut her off again and said "Senora? No hay una senora aqui, puta!" (She called me 'Mrs.' so I said there was no Mrs. here...and I called her a whore.)

That did the trick. If they look like they know Spanish I'll just say I don't speak English again...in Thai. That doesn't happen too often because Latinos are usually working hard for their money.

This is not a put down line, but the only time I ever gave a panhandler some money. The usual lineup was waiting outside the stadium to hit people up as we leave. One had a sign that said "WHY LIE. I WANT BEER." I laughed as I gave him a few dollars.

Quote:

'Say man, can I have a cigarette?'
'Sorry, I don't smoke.'

Considering the price of cigarettes these days, (I quit aways back) I'd be pretty much hogging all my cigarettes anyway. What do they think, these aren't all that cheap.

Although, there were always too many "cigarette bums" around even when they were more inexpensive. (and by cigarette bums, I mean people who had money most of the time, but consistently bumming off others)


Oh, I often say, "sorry just have my debit card" which is sometimes even true.

"Spare change?"

"Hmmm. What, exactly, would be 'spare' change?"

"Uh...er...change you don't want."

"You mean money that I have but don't want?"

(nods)

"Sorry, I don't have any money that qualifies in that regard."

"Er, uh, I meant that you can SPARE."

"Why, yes, I do have that."

(expectant silence)

"Well, can you give me some of it?"

"That's not what you asked."

"WELL I'M ASKING IT NOW YOU BLEEPITY BLANKITY BIPPITY BOPPITY STUPID GODDAMN BLANKETY BLANK!!"

(downhill from there)

"Spare change, buddy?"

"Can you break a fifty?"

(pause) "Yeah, sure, no problem."

"Then, piss off!"

"kind sir i haven't eaten for days"

me: "you should force yourself"

"Spare some change?"

"I'll give you a dollar if you can tell me the name of the vice president."

(random political figure other than current vice president)

-------------------

Seriously, I've done this lots of times, and never heard the correct answer. I often get the current president, previous president, loser of last presidential election, or Hilary Clinton.

Quote: Wizard

"Spare some change?"

"I'll give you a dollar if you can tell me the name of the vice president."

(random political figure other than current vice president)

-------------------

Seriously, I've done this lots of times, and never heard the correct answer. I often get the current president, previous president, loser of last presidential election, or Hilary Clinton.

Funny. You'd think that over the last year and a half, SOMEBODY would have known that it was Bozo the Clown.

Quote: mkl654321

Funny. You'd think that over the last year and a half, SOMEBODY would have known that it was Bozo the Clown.

If you want a really good laugh, The Onion has been particularly good at Biden humor.

Biden search results

My favorites, in no particular order:

Shirtless Biden Washes Trans Am In White House Driveway

Biden Receives Lifetime Ban From Dave & Buster's

Walletless Biden Found Handcuffed to Bedpost

Biden Invokes Freedom Of Information Act To Find Out When Woman Gets Off Work....

Oh, hell, I could list them all.

I once met a guy who told me his hard luck story (pointing down the street) that his car was down the road where his wife was waiting and he needed a couple dollars as he was headed up the road to the nearest gas station (7-11)

It was fairly believable until I ran into him again about a week later and he told me the exact same story.

Quote: rxwine

I once met a guy who told me his hard luck story (pointing down the street) that his car was down the road where his wife was waiting and he needed a couple dollars as he was headed up the road to the nearest gas station (7-11)

It was fairly believable until I ran into him again about a week later and he told me the exact same story.

I've been a victim of that trick twice.

The first time was in L.A. when I was eating in my car at a Taco Bell just off the airport exit on the 405. A pretty young woman knocked on my window, and said her car just broke down on the freeway, didn't have any cash on her, and needed an emergency loan to pay the tow truck. I don't remember the arrangements to pay me back, but I think the phone number she provided was just some random number. In our conversation she mentioned she worked at a particular restaurant. I called there to ask for her, and they she said he had quit a year ago.

The second time was in Atlanta and I was walking around the downtown area, near a freeway. This time a guy about 30 years old gave me the same story. He gave a similar story. This time I was more skeptical, but he was only asking for $20 or so, and kept following me around. So I gave it to him. We had agreed to meet in my hotel at a certain time the next day for him to repay me. Of course, he never showed up.

Sometime after that the same thing happened in Baltimore. This time I snapped, "I've fallen victim to this trick twice before." He replied something like "It is a shame that a few dishonest people ruin things for everybody." Indeed.

This was at the airport and not a panhandler and happens all the time. A guy comes outside where I am smoking and say's you got a cigarette. I say yeah for 5 bucks. He looks at me and say's 5 bucks? I said yeah this is Vegas, your here to spend money not make money and walked away.

I very rarely say no to someone asking for a cigarette, because sometimes I've been in such a position.

Quote: Nareed

I very rarely say no to someone asking for a cigarette, because sometimes I've been in such a position.

These days, with smokes so high in cost, I will not "give" a cigarette so someone. However, if they offer to pay for the smoke (a quarter, fifty cents...whatever) I will not take the money, but give them a smoke. I figure if they are offering to pay for the cigarette then they are not a panhandler, but merely out of smokes.

A quick panhandler story. When I was in college at Ball State, I worked at McDonald's (sheesh) for spending money. My lifelong friend Mark didn't want to work and smell like a hamburger. So, he dressed up in ragged clothes, and "worked" the Greyhound bus station in Muncie, IN. In those days I believe minimum wage was around $3.75. I worked 30 hours a week, and was a full time student, for less that a hundred dollars a week. Mark on the other hand, "worked" 6 hours a day on Saturday and Sunday, and made over $300 a week (tax-free). Good times in the dorm rolling change for sure.

Guess that is why I have trouble giving to those who ask me. And as some of you know, I am a truck driver these days. If you want to see some very creative panhandling....please go to your nearest truck stop. It is amazing.....

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Quote: rxwine

I once met a guy who told me his hard luck story (pointing down the street) that his car was down the road where his wife was waiting and he needed a couple dollars as he was headed up the road to the nearest gas station (7-11)

It was fairly believable until I ran into him again about a week later and he told me the exact same story.

Got caught by that one once as well (which I had taken the watch he offered). Saw him the next week at the same place doing the same trick. He denied all knowledge of it, naturally. I just stood by him for 10 minutes and every time he tried the hard luck story with someone I'd come back over and tell them whe was a liar. It made me feel better, at least...

Ah well, was only a tenner.

An then there's the old classic:


"Hey buddy, can you give me $1 for a sandwich?"

I don't know. Show me the sandwich.


One of the funniest things I ever saw was when a bicycle cop went up to one of the "bums" on the bridge from the Barbary Coast to Ceasars. The bum was holding a sign that said: "Homeless. Please help. Anything will help. God Bless". The cop asked him for his permit. The bum reached into his back pocket and actually pulled out a permit! The cop looked it over, saw that everything was in order, wished the guy a good day and left.

I've often wondered what home address the bum listed on that permit.

Quote: scotty81

I've often wondered what home address the bum listed on that permit.

That can be a sensitive issue for some. When I worked for a Social Security field office in a low-income part of L.A. we couldn't process a claim without a proper mailing address. Some people truly didn't have one. One person used the actual office address as his mailing address, but I think the office made an exception in his case.

When I lived in Santa Barbara there was a political fight about allowing the homeless to use the Morton Bay Fig Tree as a mailing address. I think somebody solicited a bunch of voter applications there, and had them put that as the address. The city rejected all of them, and then it went to the courts. I think the homeless lost.

As a rule, I never give them money. However, I have on several occasions offered to buy them a meal. FOr the sincerely in need of help, they accept and are truly grateful. For those who are just running a scam.....well....i got no use for them.

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Quote: 98steps

As a rule, I never give them money. However, I have on several occasions offered to buy them a meal. FOr the sincerely in need of help, they accept and are truly grateful. For those who are just running a scam.....well....i got no use for them.

I do that at the truck stops. I will buy a meal for them, when they balk, I know it is a scam.

Its ALWAYS a scam.

Eons ago whenever I heard Do You Have Any Spare Change? I would reply. Oh, yes. Thank you anyway, but I have plenty.
Sometimes, I'd reach into my pocket, pull out a handful of change, pause briefly as I was looking at it and say "Yes, Four Seventy-three" and keep walking.

One guy in NYC wore a pair of pants with a slit rear pocket and claimed not to be a panhandler but to have fallen asleep on the subway but was in need of 14.86 cents for his trainfare back to some suburban town. I didn't give him any money and about five months later he had the same story.

One newspaper reporter in a suburb of Los Angeles followed a homeless panhandler to his nearby large RV.

One newspaper reporter actually panhandled for a day and reported that the tax free income extrapolated to 80,000 a year as a salary.

Some bums used to go to stockbrokers offices on rainy days and a few of them made good investments. One TV reporter tracked a welfare recipient to a jewelry store that he owned. In the sixties, many hippies were on welfare in both California and New York.

The Homeless Tree actually had a mailbox erected and the postmaster was asked for its proper number for that "address" but some motorist came by and drove a truck over the post box.

A few decades ago when cigarettes were cheaper I knew one woman who insisted that her male classmates give her a kiss on the cheek if they "borrowed" a cigarette from her. I think she did the same thing in cocktail lounges. One man asked a young lady in a bar for a cigarette and she told him "Don't you think you should be able to support your own vices". I don't think he tried to pick her up after that.

Nowadays, entire families have "charity donation" buckets at intersections.

I'm a big fan of using comp dollars for panhandlers. In Detroit, I often buy meals for the homeless(?) guys that hang around on Monroe Street outside of the casino. Some of them are really grateful. One guy saw me coming out of a restaurant, just having treated a fellow WoV forum member to a comped meal, with a box of leftovers. He asked, "Hey man, can I have those leftovers?" I gave him the box, which had a whole, untouched Gyro sandwich in it. I have never seen a happier guy. He actually yelped with delight.

There is a dude who hangs around the fast food shops by my University giving the same old bus fare story. He gave it to me once and I grilled him on it, trying to see how far he had fleshed out his spiel. It was pretty good, but I ended up not giving him anything. Four months later, he comes up to my car with the SAME EXACT STORY. Nothing's changed. The look on his face when I called him on it was priceless.

Quote: FleaStiff

Its ALWAYS a scam.

I am not going to say that it is ALWAYS a scam...there are occasions where a person is down on his luck or whatever. I think most of the time it is a scam....and like in the previous posts....if the fella doesn't want the free meal when he says he is hungry....SCAM. Many times I (or more accurately, my wife) have offered to feed, buy diapers, put 10 bucks of gas into someones car....and if they claim to just want the cash....they are screwed and get nothing.

Just remember some people do have problems from time to time....I think most of us can tell when a person is really in need and when they are professional panhandlers. Of course I don't think I could ever beg strangers for help, my pride would get in the way....

On a related note, I think what the Wiz does is genius. Making them sing, dance, or answer trivia questions. I have often said if I were independently wealthy I would find homeless people and have them do outrageous things for money. Like trying to chew through a golf ball or some such.....

Quote: FleaStiff

Its ALWAYS a scam.

One could have any of a number of reasons for not giving money to a panhandler, including having been burned before, a "moral conviction" that it's jest plain wrong to give money to someone who's TOO DURN LAZY TO WORK, an attachment to one's own money, or just not liking the way a particular mendicant looks, acts, or smells. These are perfectly legitimate reasons to refuse.

However, the above-quoted reason is NOT legitimate. Quite frequently, the panhandler IS engaging in some kind of scam. Also quite frequently, however, he is in genuine need. I personally don't give money to panhandlers because I feel that I can't possibly help everybody that way. I also share the vague creepy feeling, that others have articulated, that said panhandler isn't as in dire need as he says he is. However, that is NOT sufficient justification for refusing--it's more of a self-serving excuse. And that sentiment extends into the larger field of charitable donations in general. If you tell yourself that all recipients of charity are just worthless, lazy bums who could become CEOs of major corporations if they just got up off their asses and WORKED, well, that may salve your conscience, and serve as a blinder to wear when regarding a homeless beggar, but it isn't an accurate assessment of reality. I've seen enough human suffering that I know that it doesn't always manifest itself in obvious ways. I also don't think I'm wise or perspicacious enough to tell with a five-second glance whether someone is "deserving" or not of my or others' assistance.

Despite the original flippant tone of this thread, I think it's a true moral dilemma. I've given food to panhandlers many times, and they have always been grateful--sometimes pathetically so. Does that mean that if I had dismissively walked by them, saying to myself that they were "running some kind of scam", that I would have been wrong to think that? Does the fact that my sympathies and my pity may be played upon mean that I should abandon the emotions of sympathy and pity?

Quote: rxwine

I once met a guy who told me his hard luck story (pointing down the street) that his car was down the road where his wife was waiting and he needed a couple dollars as he was headed up the road to the nearest gas station (7-11)

It was fairly believable until I ran into him again about a week later and he told me the exact same story.

Reminds me of here in Pittsburgh. Meet a woman on Smithfield Street and she says she had her wallet stolen when she put her purse down for whatever and couldn't get her car out of the lot. Asked for $10 and would take my address and send it to me. She was derssed and talked like a local office worker would. I refused.

About six months later I see someone who looks like her on Grant Street (a block over and where all the best office space is located) with the exact same story. Stolen purse, will mail it to me. Now, I am terrible at remembering faces, but it had to be her.


And another story I read was a sales book that stressed the importance of offering the sale. One woman who the author talked to mentioned her daughter was backpacking in Europe and was taking a break somewhere in the city. Took here hat off because it was hot. And guess what--people started dropping money into it! I have to admit, if I took my hat off and that happened I'd play it out. Not ask for cash, but see if I could get a nice meal at the least. Just for the fun of it.

This is getting a bit off topic, but I've noticed in some cities bums will do something for their money. Usually play a musical instrument, but sometimes juggling. That is something I respect, and will pay for. Sadly, Vegas is not one of those cities.

Yesterday, I had a homeless woman start yelling at me as I was pulling into the Speedy Mart on Flamingo for a fountian drink.

While I was walking towards the door, she was yelling out towards the parking lot. I didn't think she was talking to me, but as I got closer she was saying something that I couldn't understand because she mumbled. Once I got inside, she followed me from the window as I walked around in the store and began yelling something. As I came out, she started following me toward the car and began yelling, "Shame on you! Shame, shame, shame on you!"
Maybe she wanted me to buy her a fountain drink?

I think the homeless should walk around wearing signs that say, "Will take your picture for tips" rather than sitting with a dumb sign that says, "Homeless please help." People regularly ask me to take their picture so I have to believe that these homeless people could make more money wearing the, "will take your picture" sign.

-Keyser

Quote: Wizard

This is getting a bit off topic, but I've noticed in some cities bums will do something for their money. Usually play a musical instrument, but sometimes juggling. That is something I respect, and will pay for. Sadly, Vegas is not one of those cities.

I must respectfully point out that some of the panhandlers on the crossover bridges on the strip do indeed, play guitar or sax. I saw 3 I believe when I was there is Sept. There was also Captain Jack Sparrow outside Ballys. Not sure if that was creative panhandling, or just some enterprising young man. Took a picture of my wife with him and gave him a tip.

Quote: Wizard

This is getting a bit off topic, but I've noticed in some cities bums will do something for their money. Usually play a musical instrument, but sometimes juggling. That is something I respect, and will pay for. Sadly, Vegas is not one of those cities.

You've never been offered a sure-fire can't-lose roulette system?

I usually just ignore the panhandlers no matter where they are, I did give a guy a buck last week who was panhandling off the freeway exit off ramp. He was waving to people stuck in traffic and doing a silly dance, since he made me smile I gave him a buck and told him I like you dance, he was like you like that stupid dance? I replied "yep, made my day" (which it did, I was having a lousy day)