Quote: dannysgI have been with my boyfriend 6yrs. things were not always good because I always felt like he was cheating. for 5 years he never came clean and I never had proof so it was always unclear. last year he told me everything and he did cheat with about 6 girls. it's been the hardest thing trying to get over with considering 3 of them were my high school friends. for a year he has not gave me reason not to trust but it's still hard to. he never calls or texts unless i do and he never wants his phone around.. and I feel the only time he is happy is when we are in his room doing the what not. once we leave that place we fight about almost everything. family and friends are telling me i deserve better but i still want to try to work things out. what can I do to make us connect a lot more and fight less? is it that he just doesn't know how to break up with me or he doesn't know how to show emotion?
find a new boyfriendQuote: dannysgwhat can I do to make us connect a lot more and fight less?
Quote: dannysgI have been with my boyfriend 6yrs. things were not always good because I always felt like he was cheating. for 5 years he never came clean and I never had proof so it was always unclear. last year he told me everything and he did cheat with about 6 girls. it's been the hardest thing trying to get over with considering 3 of them were my high school friends. for a year he has not gave me reason not to trust but it's still hard to. he never calls or texts unless i do and he never wants his phone around.. and I feel the only time he is happy is when we are in his room doing the what not. once we leave that place we fight about almost everything. family and friends are telling me i deserve better but i still want to try to work things out. what can I do to make us connect a lot more and fight less? is it that he just doesn't know how to break up with me or he doesn't know how to show emotion?
You can't. You don't have a connection apart from the physical one.
Did you ask the high school friends that he cheated with, why?
If he cheated so often, unless something with your relationship changes, he'll cheat again.
I figure there are three possible reasons he's cheating:
1 - Personality / emotionally, he likes the other girls better. Not sure what you can do about that.
2 - He likes variety. The only thing you can do about that is allow it - and get some variety of your own. There's nothing wrong with a relationship where you have realtionships, or just meaningless sex, on the side - as long as you both agree to it, it's not cheating.
3 - The other girls do stuff that you don't do. Find out what it is, and do it.
Bottom line: Give him a reason to not want to lose you.
He has too much opportunity. Men do not commit to one woman when it is possible to have affairs with 6 other women. If there is nothing you can do about that, and clearly you don't like it and want to just be part of his harem... well, really you do just need to drop this guy.
Quote:is it that he just doesn't know how to break up with me or he doesn't know how to show emotion?
What does he have to gain or lose by breaking up? He likes the status quo. Why show emotion, that leads to commitment.
Quote: dannysgfamily and friends are telling me i deserve better but i still want to try to work things out.
For what reason? Is he wealthy or something? Stay with him and he will keep on cheating.
It isn't that "he doesn't know how to break up with you or show emotion" but rather that you keep putting out for him no matter what he does. Get some self-esteem and send him packing.
Even if you were 300lbs you could do better.
They are wrong. You do not deserve better. You are a doormat and have been one for six years. You will probably continue to be one.
> but i still want to try to work things out.
Things are already working out. He screws you whenever he wants to, the rest of the time he can't stand you.
> what can I do to make us connect a lot more and fight less?
Nothing.
>is it that he just doesn't know how to break up with me
It is you who obviously do not know how to break up with him.