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dannysg
dannysg
dannysg
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June 28th, 2011 at 12:03:43 PM permalink
I have been with my boyfriend 6yrs. things were not always good because I always felt like he was cheating. for 5 years he never came clean and I never had proof so it was always unclear. last year he told me everything and he did cheat with about 6 girls. it's been the hardest thing trying to get over with considering 3 of them were my high school friends. for a year he has not gave me reason not to trust but it's still hard to. he never calls or texts unless i do and he never wants his phone around.. and I feel the only time he is happy is when we are in his room doing the what not. once we leave that place we fight about almost everything. family and friends are telling me i deserve better but i still want to try to work things out. what can I do to make us connect a lot more and fight less? is it that he just doesn't know how to break up with me or he doesn't know how to show emotion?
dannysg
dannysg
dannysg
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June 28th, 2011 at 12:08:47 PM permalink
Quote: dannysg

I have been with my boyfriend 6yrs. things were not always good because I always felt like he was cheating. for 5 years he never came clean and I never had proof so it was always unclear. last year he told me everything and he did cheat with about 6 girls. it's been the hardest thing trying to get over with considering 3 of them were my high school friends. for a year he has not gave me reason not to trust but it's still hard to. he never calls or texts unless i do and he never wants his phone around.. and I feel the only time he is happy is when we are in his room doing the what not. once we leave that place we fight about almost everything. family and friends are telling me i deserve better but i still want to try to work things out. what can I do to make us connect a lot more and fight less? is it that he just doesn't know how to break up with me or he doesn't know how to show emotion?

s2dbaker
s2dbaker
s2dbaker
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June 28th, 2011 at 12:22:42 PM permalink
Quote: dannysg

what can I do to make us connect a lot more and fight less?

find a new boyfriend
Someday, joor goin' to see the name of Googie Gomez in lights and joor goin' to say to joorself, "Was that her?" and then joor goin' to answer to joorself, "That was her!" But you know somethin' mister? I was always her yuss nobody knows it! - Googie Gomez
thecesspit
thecesspit
thecesspit
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June 28th, 2011 at 12:24:20 PM permalink
Quote: dannysg

I have been with my boyfriend 6yrs. things were not always good because I always felt like he was cheating. for 5 years he never came clean and I never had proof so it was always unclear. last year he told me everything and he did cheat with about 6 girls. it's been the hardest thing trying to get over with considering 3 of them were my high school friends. for a year he has not gave me reason not to trust but it's still hard to. he never calls or texts unless i do and he never wants his phone around.. and I feel the only time he is happy is when we are in his room doing the what not. once we leave that place we fight about almost everything. family and friends are telling me i deserve better but i still want to try to work things out. what can I do to make us connect a lot more and fight less? is it that he just doesn't know how to break up with me or he doesn't know how to show emotion?



You can't. You don't have a connection apart from the physical one.
"Then you can admire the real gambler, who has neither eaten, slept, thought nor lived, he has so smarted under the scourge of his martingale, so suffered on the rack of his desire for a coup at trente-et-quarante" - Honore de Balzac, 1829
DJTeddyBear
DJTeddyBear
DJTeddyBear
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June 28th, 2011 at 12:25:43 PM permalink
So he admits to cheating? Did you ask him why he cheats?

Did you ask the high school friends that he cheated with, why?

If he cheated so often, unless something with your relationship changes, he'll cheat again.

I figure there are three possible reasons he's cheating:

1 - Personality / emotionally, he likes the other girls better. Not sure what you can do about that.
2 - He likes variety. The only thing you can do about that is allow it - and get some variety of your own. There's nothing wrong with a relationship where you have realtionships, or just meaningless sex, on the side - as long as you both agree to it, it's not cheating.
3 - The other girls do stuff that you don't do. Find out what it is, and do it.

Bottom line: Give him a reason to not want to lose you.
I invented a few casino games. Info: http://www.DaveMillerGaming.com/ ————————————————————————————————————— Superstitions are silly, childish, irrational rituals, born out of fear of the unknown. But how much does it cost to knock on wood? 😁
odiousgambit
odiousgambit
odiousgambit
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June 28th, 2011 at 12:46:29 PM permalink
Congratulations on using good English, at least good informal English like is used here mostly. The last few women with 'man problems' were pretty bad with their writing.

He has too much opportunity. Men do not commit to one woman when it is possible to have affairs with 6 other women. If there is nothing you can do about that, and clearly you don't like it and want to just be part of his harem... well, really you do just need to drop this guy.

Quote:

is it that he just doesn't know how to break up with me or he doesn't know how to show emotion?



What does he have to gain or lose by breaking up? He likes the status quo. Why show emotion, that leads to commitment.
the next time Dame Fortune toys with your heart, your soul and your wallet, raise your glass and praise her thus: “Thanks for nothing, you cold-hearted, evil, damnable, nefarious, low-life, malicious monster from Hell!”   She is, after all, stone deaf. ... Arnold Snyder
Mosca
Mosca
Mosca
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June 28th, 2011 at 1:36:40 PM permalink
He likes having sex with you, and you must like having sex with him because you keep doing it. I don't see what the problem is here.
A falling knife has no handle.
AZDuffman
AZDuffman
AZDuffman
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June 28th, 2011 at 1:41:46 PM permalink
Quote: dannysg

family and friends are telling me i deserve better but i still want to try to work things out.



For what reason? Is he wealthy or something? Stay with him and he will keep on cheating.

It isn't that "he doesn't know how to break up with you or show emotion" but rather that you keep putting out for him no matter what he does. Get some self-esteem and send him packing.
All animals are equal, but some are more equal than others
hook3670
hook3670
hook3670
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June 28th, 2011 at 1:44:02 PM permalink
If you want just a sexual relationship, then maintain status quo. if you are emothionally into him, forget it. He has demonstrated he is not emotionally into you by cheating and only being responsive in the bedroom. After six years he knows what he has and by his actions, has made his choices. Its up to you now. He might have come clean and is always bitching at you so you can dump him and he doesnt have to do the dirty work.
JimMorrison
JimMorrison
JimMorrison
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June 28th, 2011 at 2:18:04 PM permalink
You really need to post a picture before I can give you good advice.
EvenBob: "Look America, I have a tiny wee-wee, can anybody help me?"
sunrise089
sunrise089
sunrise089
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June 28th, 2011 at 3:39:48 PM permalink
Get counseling. Read your post objectively and ask what the guy is actually bringing to the table. Then compare that to every other relationship you've ever heard of. You have zero emotional connection, he treats you terribly, he puts zero effort into the relationship, he cheats on you regularly, and in return you put out for him.

Even if you were 300lbs you could do better.
FleaStiff
FleaStiff
FleaStiff
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June 28th, 2011 at 3:50:07 PM permalink
> family and friends are telling me i deserve better
They are wrong. You do not deserve better. You are a doormat and have been one for six years. You will probably continue to be one.
> but i still want to try to work things out.
Things are already working out. He screws you whenever he wants to, the rest of the time he can't stand you.
> what can I do to make us connect a lot more and fight less?
Nothing.
>is it that he just doesn't know how to break up with me
It is you who obviously do not know how to break up with him.
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