Any way to get my money back?

Over the past half year I lent the equivalent of $2000 to a friend and he repaid about half of it. He used to be very friendly and invite me out all te time but in the past 2-3 months he has been ignoring me completely, he doesn't picks up my calls, he never opens the door, etc. I called him and his girlfriend over 30 times today but obviously they never picked up. About a week ago I posted about the story on Facebook and he deleted his account, and his girlfriend blocked me. I deleted the message after a few hours but she then said I don't deserve to get everything back because I ruined his reputation. I am leaving Hong Kong tomorrow and will only be back for a few days in February, after which I will only be back in September. By that time he will already have graduated and won't live in the same flat. I was thinking of throwing a rock at his car (that I helped pay for) or to make a payment reversal on the $500 car insurance I paid for him with my credit card but I'm pretty sure both of these will get me in much more trouble than him. What can I do at that point? I haven't seen him or talked to him since I made that Facebook post the few calls that did went through were his girlfriend picking up his phone and talking to me but now they both stopped all kind of communications.

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Sue... small claims court. Sue him for they money he owes you and the legal fees, gas and food for the tirp to court. they obviously don't show any interest in being your friend anymore so why care about his feelings. Not only will he have to pay you but he will probably spend what he owes you in legal fees food that he would not have otherwise bought, gas, plane tickets for the court date the list goes on and so does the legal pay back.

Quote: blackjackgolden

Sue... small claims court. Sue him for they money he owes you .

In a Chinese court???
Chalk it up to a lesson learned and be done with it.

Quote: FleaStiff

Chalk it up to a lesson learned and be done with it.

I agree. I would also oppose taking any kind of revenge. The probability of getting your money back by taking any kind of action is too low to warrant the bother and aggravation. Cut your losses and move on.

Disclaimer: I'm not an attorney so don't take this as legal advice. My first bit of advice is to get some. My second bit of advice is not to do anything illegal like vandalize his car.

In the U.S., I believe if you can substantiate the debt, you can sue in the appropriate court (small claims if under 2k, I believe). If your friend doesn't appear, you can get a default judgment and then act to collect that (or a fraction thereof) via a collections agency and liens or garnishments of some sort. I don't know if you can substantiate the debt, however, and I have no idea what the laws are like in Hong Kong. Your best bet is to contact an attorney with experience in the relevant jurisdiction. Before doing that, gather together as much of a paper trail as you can, including any bank deposits or withdrawals relevant to the transaction, or any emails or other messages regarding the debt.

Then, consider whether it's worth the hassle to collect what ultimately may be a few hundred dollars after legal and professional fees are taken out.

The idea of reversing a credit charge that you funded for a debt in his name (his insurance bill) has some merit, I'd think. I might look into that with the credit card company, and then perhaps use the threat of that as leverage to get your friend to agree to a payment plan with you.

Quote: HKrandom

Over the past half year I lent the equivalent of $2000 to a friend and he repaid about half of it. He used to be very friendly and invite me out all te time but in the past 2-3 months he has been ignoring me completely, he doesn't picks up my calls, he never opens the door, etc. I called him and his girlfriend over 30 times today but obviously they never picked up. About a week ago I posted about the story on Facebook and he deleted his account, and his girlfriend blocked me. I deleted the message after a few hours but she then said I don't deserve to get everything back because I ruined his reputation. I am leaving Hong Kong tomorrow and will only be back for a few days in February, after which I will only be back in September. By that time he will already have graduated and won't live in the same flat. I was thinking of throwing a rock at his car (that I helped pay for) or to make a payment reversal on the $500 car insurance I paid for him with my credit card but I'm pretty sure both of these will get me in much more trouble than him. What can I do at that point? I haven't seen him or talked to him since I made that Facebook post the few calls that did went through were his girlfriend picking up his phone and talking to me but now they both stopped all kind of communications.

Ignoring someone who owes them money and making excuses of why they don't owe it any more are probably the top two tactics that these deadbeats use. In the US, the burden of proof could be much less in small claims court than in criminal court. I have no idea how it would apply where you are.

If all else fails, $1k, while being a lot of money, would be worth a lifetime lesson. Don't do it again, don't get in any trouble and for crying out loud, take that ATM sign off your forehead.

Quote: Ibeatyouraces

Take it as an expensive lesson. NEVER lend money without a legal contract and this includes to friends, family etc. Highly doubtfull you will see the rest of it back even if you take him to court.

This is the best information in this thread. I myself have always had a policy of never lending money to anyone other than to our children, because we already know they will never give it back.

Going to court over it is a waste of time unless you like hassle in your life. A life in its most efficient form is best lived with as few issues as possible, without getting involved in "causes", without ever being involved with attorneys regardless of which side you're on, without notariety, and without caring about who wins the political elections.

Move on.

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Overall loans to friends and family ought to be regarded as gifts. Some people will pay you back, some won't. But if you value the friendhisp over the money, it's best if you don't expect repayment and are willing to accept the loss.

I second the general advice that it is not worth the effort to try to collect, and that your legal ability to do so may be dubious, but you did mention the $500 car insurance payment you made for him--it may be possible to reverse that payment, depending on your credit card company's policies. It wouldn't be much trouble to find out, and if you're able to do it, it would take the minor hassle of filling out a claim form, but hey, it's $500.

There *might* be some legal action you could take, but I would side with the folks who say to just take it as an expensive lesson. I don't know if you want to stay friends with this guy but, in the long run, a couple grand is 1) probably not worth the legal hassle, and 2) not a very large price to pay for learning a tough lesson and/or losing (what might be) a good friendship.

One thing I started doing a long time ago was to assume any "loan" to a friend was a gift, and when they ask for loans, I always re-frame it that way. If they pay me back, great, if not, I just don't worry about it. Sure, I've come across a couple of folks who just wanted a cash machine - including some pretty women - but I can always say no, and the decision to give/lend is always totally in my control. If they get all mad that I won't give them money, well, then they weren't really friends, were they?

Without exception, the friends-worth-having paid me back when they could, or at least were really in need for just that particular circumstance and never asked a second time for more money.

Neither a borrower nor a lender be,
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
Polonius

Agree with the advice so far.

Some possibility of turning this is as a bad debt on your taxes. I understand the IRS will squash such pretty quickly as not being set up originally as a proper promissory note, but perhaps it is worth a try for what they might view as a small amount.

If you can substantiate the loan, I would try to collect... from his parents or other relations. Family reputation is important in Asia, so it may give you some leverage.

Embarrass him. Start telling everybody you both know that he doesn't pay his debts. Send a letter to his employer. Call his parents. Call his girlfriends parents. Go to places where he hangs out and embarrass him in front of people. He'll pay you, just be persistent.

Quote: Ayecarumba

If you can substantiate the loan, I would try to collect... from his parents or other relations. Family reputation is important in Asia, so it may give you some leverage.

Best advice along with telling friends. Make sure you have some level of proof, such as the car insurance but you won't need as much in court. My family is japanese and if they knew I had outstanding debts id be screwed. Your burden of proof will be pretty low with his family because I am sure you're not the first he has done this to.

Also I agree, treat lending money to friends as a gift. If it is a large amount, draw something up.

I actually wanted to tell his parents but I do not know how to reach them, I only know where his own flat is. Since I am leaving soon I guess the only thing I can do right now is to make more public posts about him on Facebook and hope he hears from them even though he deleted his account. I also know he is a member of several clubs like the Cadet Corps but I doubt contacting them would help. I would have to wait until September to sue him and by then I'm not even sure I will be able to reach him.