Girls use dating sites because similar to guys it's unfortunately the best place to meet new people once you're out of school/college. Think about it... I work a 9-5, have AP, have a house and a dog, what time do I have to go out and meet someone 'at a bar' or at the grocery store? First, I don't want to meet my future wife at a bar, not that I would be against meeting someone at a bar anyways, but I don't have high hopes in my 30's for meeting a quality girl to marry at a bar. Not saying it's impossible, just improbable. Next, most women have definitely adapted the "F YOU" tattoo on their forehead in public. I'm an in shape younger guy, but I swear if I even look at a girl in public she's instantly afraid I'm stalking her or going to rape her. Guys just can't talk to girls in public anymore (for the most part) due to women being terrified of every single guy. So online women feel safe because they can talk to you without you being physically present. Also, you get pictures, a bio, etc so you can learn a bit more about the person before ever meeting them (being physically vulnerable).
Not only that, but online dating is SKEWED very very much for women. Any kind of decent looking female will get a dozen new messages per day and essentially have her pick of the litter. Thus, online dating is PERFECT for the "perfect" girl because she can pick and choose exactly who she wants to meet with exactly whatever amount of interaction/chatting before meeting she desires.
All that being said, I think online dating is pretty much a joke... This pick of the litter stuff commonly leads to the "next shiny object" syndrome where women just drop conversations all the time and move on to the next shiny object they get a message from the next day.
I ran an experiment with online dating when I was using it a lot (hey, I'm a scientist...). I sent 100 "qualified" messages to 100 girls I was at least moderately attracted to, and didn't worry about other stuff in their profile that would be disqualifies even. A qualified message is at least 2-3 sentences long, giving a compliment, and highlighting commonalities or interest we share, then asking a question to encourage conversation. Of those 100 messages:
- 38 responses
- 17 lasted past 1 or 2 messages
- 9 lasted past a couple days of messaging
- 3 led to exchanging phone numbers
- I went on 2 disappointing dates.
This took months and constant effort to check online and message people back promptly before they got shiny object syndrome. I've also got to figure I've got a 1 up on your average guy... Good job, house, car, athletic, and have a bunch of hobbies. None the less, failure... Thus, it's also why guys online usually just try to hookup. There's a HIGHER SUCCESS RATE for putting in ZERO EFFORT other than "hey wanna hook up?"
After that I disappointment, I of course had to run the experiment the other way... I sent out around 50 "hey, wanna hook up?" messages and got a 75% return message rate (as opposed to HALF that sending a 'qualified' message). Half of those responses were "no, blah blah blah" but even of those "no's" it led to conversations that led to potential meetings! After this experiment it's baffling to me that people still "try" with online dating. It's a joke and is goin to fail once ever guy realizes they'll have better odds saying "wanna hook up?" and women will not get the pedestal treatment they get put on anymore online since all guys just wanna hook up (as a result of their previous shiny object syndrome).
I'm not sure I see it. Very dorky and fos, is what I think. EHarmony was on Adam Ruins everything, short story, they make stuff up and they mislead people in commercials. The whole site is just fiction, really just a sales presentation, cannot be proven to be anything special or better than any other site.Quote: odiousgambit
speaking of eharmony though, somebody clued me in to observing just how creepy the guy is who founded it - he likes to show up in the commercials.
So I started paying attention and, yeah, that guy is creepy. That he might be some perv is easy to believe.
I suppose this is the main deal breaker for me. I'm never going to "settle" for someone who can't offer a relationship the same things that I can. I have no problem with some baggage, but I won't date someone with kids, smoker, or someone I don't find rather attractive. I'm quite happy and at peace with my life though and actually think that if I never get in a serious relationship again, I'd be okay with that. Got my house and my dog, what more could a guy need? (p.s. not saying I wouldn't go out with some girls just to go out and have fun... the thirst always wins).Quote: boymimbo
...And when you are single and in your mid-30s you have to accept baggage in a companion or have to have alot of money...
You just wish I was on there, as you frantically search for my profile every day I bet.Quote: AxelWolf
...Have you been successful with Grinder, Romes?
Yeah, I've thought of this too. Though most of my friends are married and their friends are married or spoken for. There's very little cross-over leading to them having a single friend that I'm attracted to enough to date and risk my main friendship =P. Kind of a "don't poop where you eat" sort of thing. Again though, I'm not against it, just haven't had the best luck with that in the past as they usually have some form of "baggage" as mentioned above.Quote: rxwine
Usually, the best dating recommendation you can get is if you know the friend of the female you want to date...
Yeah, but I'd LOVE to know the odds on someone getting married in less than 3 months of meeting someone and how that works out. I'd imagine 90%+ of the time it doesn't not work out.Quote: FleaStiff
...Or The Divine Miss M who met a man in a Vegas bar, married him within two weeks at some wedding chappel and has been with him for decades.
There's a 3rd dimensional axis to the graph not shown here though... baggage. Say I find a girl that is in the marriage zone... Not too crazy and what I consider to be hot. Quite often, she'll come with red flag baggage, such as kids... which might be find for some (to each their own) but it's just definitely not what I'm looking for.Quote: mcallister3200
I read the first paragraph And if it's headed where I think it was headed, here's a guide to what to look for to get about the best realistic possibility in dating American or Americanized women.
Yep, that is how I met Mrs Q.Quote: rxwine
Usually, the best dating recommendation you can get is if you know the friend of the female you want to date. If she likes you, it's like a golden ticket.