NicksGamingStuff
NicksGamingStuff
Joined: Feb 2, 2010
  • Threads: 48
  • Posts: 829
November 12th, 2011 at 1:56:21 PM permalink
Since we can all use a good laugh I decided to start a forum about funny things players say:

The other night I had a group of girls at my table and they asked: Do you live in the hotel or do you have an apartment somewhere in the city?
AZDuffman
AZDuffman
Joined: Nov 2, 2009
  • Threads: 227
  • Posts: 12420
November 12th, 2011 at 3:56:04 PM permalink
This is a re-run, but lets build the thread:

(Player has A-7 showing)

ME: You have an 8 or 18
Player: Do I have to pick which right now or can I wait?
All animals are equal, but some are more equal than others
wrongway
wrongway
Joined: May 16, 2010
  • Threads: 8
  • Posts: 101
November 13th, 2011 at 4:49:26 AM permalink
Young "Know it all" player to his girlfriend

"You should always bet the Field, because it has all of those numbers you can win on"
dealerwins
dealerwins
Joined: May 18, 2011
  • Threads: 2
  • Posts: 24
November 13th, 2011 at 5:42:58 AM permalink
When hitting a soft 18 against a 10, ive lost count of the startled exclamations of "what are you doing, youve got 18!"
kaysirtap
kaysirtap
Joined: Nov 1, 2011
  • Threads: 3
  • Posts: 55
November 13th, 2011 at 5:46:52 AM permalink
Player's 12 against a dealer's deuce: "If I'm going to hit 12, I might as well double-down."

"MONKEY!!!" - that one gets me every time. I think dealers should start using that in stick calls when a 10 rolls.
WizardofEngland
WizardofEngland
Joined: Nov 2, 2010
  • Threads: 61
  • Posts: 638
November 13th, 2011 at 6:31:10 AM permalink
"Why dont you play pair plus? Thats where the smart players bet"
"Pair-plus is where is you win the most money"
And the latest in relation to the 6 card bet for $1million on Three Card Poker
"You dont bet on the 6 card bonus?, dont you want to be a millionaire? It has a player edge you know" - Actual bride, on her wedding day in planet hollywood. I told her she didnt know what she was talking about. Ruined her day.
http://wizardofvegas.com/forum/off-topic/general/10042-woes-black-sheep-game-ii/#post151727
AZDuffman
AZDuffman
Joined: Nov 2, 2009
  • Threads: 227
  • Posts: 12420
November 13th, 2011 at 7:15:20 AM permalink
Almost forgot this gem--

Player to her friend: "An Ace is either a 1 or an 11 but you always want it to be worth 1."



There is always the classic-------

In front of a BJ table

Older Lady: Excuse me, sonny, is this the casino?
Dean Martin: No, lady, this is the grocery store. The casino is across the street.
All animals are equal, but some are more equal than others
Ibeatyouraces
Ibeatyouraces
Joined: Jan 12, 2010
  • Threads: 68
  • Posts: 11933
November 13th, 2011 at 7:43:34 AM permalink
deleted
DUHHIIIIIIIII HEARD THAT!
Ibeatyouraces
Ibeatyouraces
Joined: Jan 12, 2010
  • Threads: 68
  • Posts: 11933
November 13th, 2011 at 7:48:32 AM permalink
deleted
DUHHIIIIIIIII HEARD THAT!
TheNightfly
TheNightfly
Joined: May 21, 2010
  • Threads: 23
  • Posts: 480
November 13th, 2011 at 10:50:00 AM permalink
Drunk guy sits down at a $5/$5 pot limit Omaha game the other night, buys in for $500 and posts. First hand it's raise, re-raise, pot, pot and now 4 players are all in pre-flop including our drunk player. Flop, turn and river and the board is 3h, 5s, 7d, Kd. First player opens and shows suited AAQQ. Second player shows 8, 9, 10, J double suited and mucks. Third player confidently opens his set of Kings with 2 danglers and we all look at the drunk who is struggling to turn his cards over. He finally flips up 4h, 6h, 9h and Jh and slurs, "I got a flush". We all shake our heads as the dealer pushes him the pot.
Happiness is underrated

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