The other night I had a group of girls at my table and they asked: Do you live in the hotel or do you have an apartment somewhere in the city?
(Player has A-7 showing)
ME: You have an 8 or 18
Player: Do I have to pick which right now or can I wait?
"You should always bet the Field, because it has all of those numbers you can win on"
"MONKEY!!!" - that one gets me every time. I think dealers should start using that in stick calls when a 10 rolls.
"Pair-plus is where is you win the most money"
And the latest in relation to the 6 card bet for $1million on Three Card Poker
"You dont bet on the 6 card bonus?, dont you want to be a millionaire? It has a player edge you know" - Actual bride, on her wedding day in planet hollywood. I told her she didnt know what she was talking about. Ruined her day.
Player to her friend: "An Ace is either a 1 or an 11 but you always want it to be worth 1."
There is always the classic-------
In front of a BJ table
Older Lady: Excuse me, sonny, is this the casino?
Dean Martin: No, lady, this is the grocery store. The casino is across the street.
Quote: TheNightflyDrunk guy sits down at a $5/$5 pot limit Omaha game the other night, buys in for $500 and posts. First hand it's raise, re-raise, pot, pot and now 4 players are all in pre-flop including our drunk player. Flop, turn and river and the board is 3h, 5s, 7d, Kd. First player opens and shows suited AAQQ. Second player shows 8, 9, 10, J double suited and mucks. Third player confidently opens his set of Kings with 2 danglers and we all look at the drunk who is struggling to turn his cards over. He finally flips up 4h, 6h, 9h and Jh and slurs, "I got a flush". We all shake our heads as the dealer pushes him the pot.
Drunk people always walk away unharmed from fatal accidents.
The supervisor's favorite hand to DOUBLE DOWN (receive ONE card) on is A-2... why? "Because there is only one card that makes the hand worse... a 9." Again, the key to the story is DOUBLE DOWN.
The rest of the time I spent arguing with him about how it didn't matter if it was a 9-10-j-q-k-a-2-3, as they all resulted in the same hand for the dealer. He berated me in front of the rest of the table...
Everybody else finishes up their bets and dealer reveals her cards: an ace high flush. She turns over the boom boom player's cards: 2-5-7, unsuited.
"Boom," the dealer says as she collects the player's pair plus bet. "Boom," collects the ante. "BOOOOOOOM!" she literally opens up her throat and yells while collecting the raise. Then she points her index finger straight at the guys nose and cackles, everybody else starts laughing as well, boom boom player scoops up his remaining chips and walks off in a huff.
It's funny because it happened to someone else.
Maybe that works for accountants, and engineers as well?
A dealer at my local casino, on craps: "I ONLY bet the middle. That's where all the money is made".
We were talking about video poker machines and he said something like "they have to adjust the probability of getting the cards to prevent the player from getting too many high pays." Not only did he not understand how video poker works, but he didn't understand the regulations of his own jurisdiction, which mandate that cards in a deck have an equal likelihood of being the same. When I told him that all cards are equally likely, he was in disbelief.
Quote: MrVAt a craps table: "Woulda, shoulda, coulda."
At a craps table as each of my DontCome bets was being knocked down, I muttered maybe I should switch to the Right Side ...
Just then Shooter sevened out and as dealer paid my DontPass bet, he said "You were saying....".
Quote: boymimboA dealer at my local casino, on craps: "I ONLY bet the middle. That's where all the money is made".
Another rerun, but since we are putting them in one place. Dealer might be related to this mamaluke.
Puck is OFF Guy shoots.
Seven-winner!
"Damn, gotta stop doing that."
Seven-winner!
"Again, gotta stop doing that!"
Seven-winner!
"This has got to stop!"
Me: "What are you talking about?"
"If I keep that up I will never make a point!"
Me: "But you have just won three times in a row?!"
"Yeah but when I make the point I will lose if I do that!"
I stop trying to see if I am the bigger fool for arguinbg with the fool. He shoots again.
"Seven-winner!" Four throws in a row for those keeping count. So what does he say?
"NEW DICE!"
they make a P/L bet of $5, point comes 4......the boyfriend bets a $3 hard four tells his girl to do the same....she looks around and see's everyone betting odds.....she says to her boyfriend......
"Why is everyone putting money behind their passline bet? What is that for?' He says "OH DON'T WORRY ABOUT THAT, THAT'S JUST A SUCKERS BET"
Rio: 1/3NL game, about 4am. I'm in the 1 seat and there's a hot young thing in the 5 seat who is loving all the attention her skimpy outfit is bringing her. Her top is cut low, and her skirt is so short that every time she leans back in her chair (on the back two legs), the dealer and I can plainly see her panties. She's drunk and flirtatious. About 5am, her boyfriend shows up, dressed in standard Ed Hardy douchebag-wear, stands behind her watching for a while and tells us all he's "been crushing the 2/5 game at Bellagio". After giving her advice on how she mis-played her hand a couple times, and after telling us all in a condescending tone how he's just dominating the sit-n-goes on Full Tilt, he asks her for $200 and wanders off.
Throughout the game, she'd use such crazy phrases as "I had to call. I didn't want to be out 2-paired."
Quote: NicksGamingStuffSince we can all use a good laugh I decided to start a forum about funny things players say:
The other night I had a group of girls at my table and they asked: Do you live in the hotel or do you have an apartment somewhere in the city?
I was on a cruise where the cruise director was talking about the stupid questions he'd heard. "Do you live on the ship?" "No, we have a dinghy towed behind the ship."