Adventures of E.R. Dietz

My cousin, E.R. Dietz, came back from the dead yesterday.

He called me and told me to meet him at Steve Spurrier Field. He had decided to take a crack at a three-minute mile today. He got off to a great start, but then decided that the flow of the wind of the back stretch of the track was too strong, so he took his great first 220 time and quit for the day.

We had some pizza at Brusco's, which was comped due to his coming back from the dead and all. Tomorrow I'll meet him at the track in the morning, before the NFL games, and he'll continue that quest for a three minute mile, probably starting at the 220 mark.

I'll report how he did tomorrow. Chik-fil-A is closed on Sundays, so I'm not sure where we'll have lunch.

I'm going to bump this thread, as it relates to the MDawg debate.

I am shocked, shocked I tell you, that no one has decided to call me a liar for reporting on my cousin coming back from the dead. Or the fact that he's dead set (pardon the pun) on running a three minute mile.

Does no one want to meet the great E.R. Dietz and read of his fabulous adventures, both in the underworld, on the track, and in casinos?

Go on.

I'm sure I saw some cable news show last night rehashing the first 4 minute mile back in the 1950's. I'm gonna have to stick with 25 minutes per mile myself.

Quote: Minty

Go on.

It's all true, of course. I have photos of his urn, and now the urn is empty. I have photos of him dashing through the three-minute mile attempt at Steve Spurrier Field. And his casino adventures -- my God!

He's so good at sports betting, he sends casino sports book managers straight to the ER!

But then, it is true that he tends to not be so good at other casino endeavors, like baccarat, for example. But you can't be great at everything, unless you can howl like that illustrious Las Vegas entertainer, Cook. E. Jarr, "Who let the Dogs out? Arooooooo!!!"

Cook E. Jarr — now that's a flash from the past! How long was he a Las Vegas performer and whatever happened to him?
https://www.lasvegasadvisor.com/question/cook-e-jarr/

Cook E Jarr - Jail House Rock - Bills Gamblin' Hall - Las Vegas - July 6, 2011
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GchANCrkzZ0

Vienna Calling (Toll Free Version) - Falco - 1985
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sqIX7gsfS8c

Quote: redietz

I have photos of him dashing through the three-minute mile attempt at Steve Spurrier Field.

I call B******T -- there is no track at Steve Spurrier Field! :)

I assume you must have meant Percy Beard Track. It's an easy mistake -- it's only a couple of blocks from Steve Spurrier Field.

Other than that, I don't see anything questionable about your cousin's story. Especially the part about him always getting comped despite never giving Brusco's any money. Out of curiosity, has he tried Leonardo's By the Slice on University Ave?

Quote: Joeman

I call B******T -- there is no track at Steve Spurrier Field! :)

I assume you must have meant Percy Beard Track. It's an easy mistake -- it's only a couple of blocks from Steve Spurrier Field.

Other than that, I don't see anything questionable about your cousin's story. Especially the part about him always getting comped despite never giving Brusco's any money. Out of curiosity, has he tried Leonardo's By the Slice on University Ave?

Dude, there's a track around Steve Spurrier Field. Steve Spurrier Field is the artificial turf field next to Science Hill High School. There's a nice track around it. That's why ER decided to eclipse the three-minute mile there. Good fast track. He might only be able to do a 3:05 on a regular cinder track.

I will pass along the Leonardo's recommendation. The back-from-the-dead appreciate a good meal. I will be heading over to the track with E.R. again today. Rumor has it they may close it as both high school and college students will be going home for the break, with no return in sight.

I will report later. I'll take a screen shot of the field and see if it takes me more than a week to figure out how to post it.

Quote: redietz

My cousin, E.R. Dietz, came back from the dead yesterday.

Trolling. Three days.