Trojan Condoms

Trojan Condoms

Men are so stupid; yes, we are. Why would any man wear a Trojan condom while having sex? Shouldn’t we know that all Trojans are doomed to failure? Shouldn’t we know that whatever we think the Trojan is protecting us from will ultimately nail us?

Women who rely on those men who are relying on those Trojans – be those Trojans extra strong, super long, thicker than an elephant’s scrotum – are just as stupid as the men.

Why would we trust a company that names its product Trojan when the original Troy was horribly defeated by those Greeks who hid inside that wooden horse? Those Trojans couldn’t win that war yet we men are dumb enough to buy a product that honors those idiots! The walls of Troy were entered even though the Trojans thought they were safely ensconced within them from the onslaught of the Greeks. Those supposedly strong walls were breached!

Add this into the mix – the Trojan War was started when a woman, Helen the most beautiful woman who ever lived, wife of King Menelaus of Sparta, decided to run off with a charming, lovely, shallow young man named Paris from Troy – thereby committing adultery and enraging her husband Menelaus and his brother Agamemnon who then sailed for Troy.

So an unfaithful wife in Helen, a city that couldn’t win a war in Troy and we think wearing Trojans is not a bad, bad sign for our future love life and safety? The woman you’re with is probably going to cheat on you and the Trojan you are wearing will ultimately break apart.

Geez!

In the words of the departed Ol' Dirty Bastard:

"Hey, baby, I like it raw...
Yeah baby, I like it RAW!!!
Ooh, baby, I like it raw...
Yeah baby, I like it RAW!!!"

-ODB "Shimmy Shimmy Ya"

He was talking about his steak.

Quote: FrankScoblete

He was talking about his steak.

LOL
I'll take mine medium then please

deleted

Quote: Ibeatyouraces

Apparently going to USC is stupid to then.

I was tempted to apply to USC just so I could rub a likely acceptance in my brother's face. He was a big USC fan in high school. But that would have been mean and waste $25 as I never would have went there.

And as for Trojans, yeah, overpriced wastes of money.

May I just say that I find this board astounding on a regular basis? This thread only the latest of many fun surprises.

Quote: FrankScoblete

Trojan Condoms
Trojans – be those Trojans extra strong, super long, thicker than an elephant’s scrotum – are just as stupid as the men.

Someone steal this idea. Ultra thin strong nano particle constructed condom. So, thin they can't even be seen. Expensive, custom fit, but reusable? (I guess you could wash it and irradiate it with UV radiation along with your toothbrush)

Quote: rxwine

Someone steal this idea. Ultra thin strong nano particle constructed condom. So, thin they can't even be seen. Expensive, custom fit, but reusable? (I guess you could wash it and irradiate it with UV radiation along with your toothbrush)

I'm waiting for them to develop a graphene condom.

Quote: s2dbaker

I'm waiting for them to develop a graphene condom.

nanoTUBES

see, already got a brand name/logo going.

Quote: FrankScoblete

Add this into the mix – the Trojan War was started when a woman, Helen the most beautiful woman who ever lived, wife of King Menelaus of Sparta, decided to run off with a charming, lovely, shallow young man named Paris from Troy

Did Helen go of her own free will, or was she compelled to do so by Aphrodite?

After all, Paris took Aphrodite's offered bribe, the world's most beautiful woman, in exchange for awarding Eris' Golden Apple to her. That's what ultimately strated the war.

I know in the stories fate is the key. The gods make decisions and we are caught in them; no real free will. Poor Agamemnon even had to kill his daughter to get the winds to change so he could get his ships out of the harbor. That caused him to ultimately be killed by his vengeful wife Clytemnestra. You just can't win!

I'd still counsel staying away from Trojans though.

Still wish Nobama's father wore one...