DorothyGale
DorothyGale
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October 27th, 2011 at 3:11:54 PM permalink
I went outside today and saw that the cable lines were not attached to the poles and were just resting on branches in trees ... so I decided to call the company, then e-mail them, then finally to go on one of their live chats, just to tell them that they should send someone out to fix their lines ... here is the transcript ... it would be comedy if it wasn't so depressing ...

Comcast Live Agent Chat
Chat History
Alberto has entered the session.
DG: I need help
DG: HI
Alberto: Welcome to Comcast Live Chat Support. I will be assisting you throughout this chat session.
Alberto: I am sorry, but I do not completely understand your request, could you please clarify?
DG: Ok ... in front of my house your wires are hanging in the trees
DG: They seem to be loose, not supported by anything
DG: I tried to phone & email, but they wanted to schedule an appointment, and frankly, I don't care, I just am telling you that you have a problem
Alberto: I understand you want us to schedule a technical appointment to fix a problem outside your house. Am I correct?
DG: No, I DON"T Want your freakin' appointments!
DG: I want you guys to fix your lines
DG: They aren't even on my property
DG: Can you understand that your lines are not secured and I am telling you that?
DG: ???
DG: R.U. there?
Alberto: In order for us to fix this issue, we need to schedule a technical appointment.
DG: So schedule it, send one of your trucks out and fix it, not my problem. If you don't care if your cables are lying unattached on the neighbors trees, just hanging there waiting to break, that's not my problem.
Alberto: To better assist you, I will need the following information:

1. The 10-Digit Phone Number as it is listed on the
account.

2. Your full name as it is listed on the account.

3. Your complete home address where the service is located.
DG: Get your manager or someone who has a brain to read this, please
Alberto: As mentioned above, I can set up a technical visit.
Alberto: And I need to access an account in order to setup that visit.
Alberto: May I have the information requested above in order to setup the visit?
DG: Good bye
"Who would have thought a good little girl like you could destroy my beautiful wickedness!"
dihaig
dihaig
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October 27th, 2011 at 3:40:44 PM permalink
I live in a townhome where comcast is provided as part of the association fee. Their customer service is so bad, I paid to have verizon fios installed.
thecesspit
thecesspit
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October 27th, 2011 at 3:52:29 PM permalink
I'm pretty sure Alberto isn't a real person....

Actually, maybe I am pretty hopeful Alberto isn't a real person, but he probably is...
"Then you can admire the real gambler, who has neither eaten, slept, thought nor lived, he has so smarted under the scourge of his martingale, so suffered on the rack of his desire for a coup at trente-et-quarante" - Honore de Balzac, 1829
boymimbo
boymimbo
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October 27th, 2011 at 3:52:47 PM permalink
Obviously what you wanted to do is outside of their canned script. They do not understand your request and have no instructions to think outside of the box. This is what you get when you pay someone in another country $2/hour.
----- You want the truth! You can't handle the truth!
tsmith
tsmith
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October 27th, 2011 at 3:58:21 PM permalink
It sounds to me like "Alberto" was not really a person, but some kind of bot programmed to detect certain words, with automated answers based on those words. Just the fact that he said "Hello" and then immediately said he did not understand your request, when you didn't even have time to make any request, sounds very suspicious.

"He" read "wires", "hanging", and "loose" and based on those words determined a service call was necessary. When you did not supply the correct information "he" didn't know what to do, so "he" asked for them again. When you still didn't give them to "him" "he" got stuck in a loop, and asked the same thing over and over.

I've done live chats with AT&T personnel and it seemed like there was a real person on the other end because he addressed my specific questions and used regular language in his answers. Your experience sounds more like the 2nd circle of techno-hell.

I wonder if there is a way to verify that "live chat" guarantees that there's a human being on the receiving end of the conversation, and that it's not just an alternate version of an automated menu.
Nareed
Nareed
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October 27th, 2011 at 5:18:59 PM permalink
Quote: DorothyGale

... here is the transcript ...



Check the "Not Always Right" website. You may be featrured in an entry shortly.
Donald Trump is a fucking criminal
weaselman
weaselman
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October 27th, 2011 at 5:43:53 PM permalink
Quote: tsmith


I wonder if there is a way to verify that "live chat" guarantees that there's a human being on the receiving end of the conversation, and that it's not just an alternate version of an automated menu.


Sure. Just ask who is the President of the United States. If the answer is "what are you smoking, sir?", you are talking to a human. If it is "I am sorry, I was unable to understand your request", it's a bot.
"When two people always agree one of them is unnecessary"
CrystalMath
CrystalMath
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October 27th, 2011 at 8:08:22 PM permalink
Quote: tsmith

It sounds to me like "Alberto" was not really a person, but some kind of bot programmed to detect certain words, with automated answers based on those words. Just the fact that he said "Hello" and then immediately said he did not understand your request, when you didn't even have time to make any request, sounds very suspicious.



Actually, I knew a lady once (about 3 years ago) who worked at Comcast doing just this. She was a real person and she was in the United States. There were times I called Comcast and I actually spoke with people in Denver.
I heart Crystal Math.
FleaStiff
FleaStiff
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October 28th, 2011 at 2:23:53 AM permalink
Sounds like a speech recognition bot:
Sometimes a live person comes in at the end to confirm things and types as if he were the "person" who had answered the preliminary questions.
Ireland used to be a great source of customer service departments because of their fibre optics systems there. US Companies still outsourced but no longer to India. Then the economic revolution made it too expensive.

These programs used to be used for Rogerian therapy and one licensed therapist could have several simultaneous clients each of them thinking he was in a private chat with a person.

I don't know which is more maddening a computer program that doesn't realize it has to schedule the appointment with itself not you or a dumb person who doesn't realize that you don't care when they show up to fix their own lines outside.

Please say your grandmother's maiden name or press the pound key for more options.
DJTeddyBear
DJTeddyBear
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October 28th, 2011 at 5:15:52 AM permalink
Yeah, it was obvious it was a computer.

I've had similar conversations. I forget the type of company, but I was left unsure if I was talking to a computer or a person.


At any rate, I would have gone ahead and scheduled the appointment. When the tech arrives and finally reads the job order, he probably won't even knock on your door.
I invented a few casino games. Info: http://www.DaveMillerGaming.com/ ————————————————————————————————————— Superstitions are silly, childish, irrational rituals, born out of fear of the unknown. But how much does it cost to knock on wood? 😁
dm
dm
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October 28th, 2011 at 10:16:33 AM permalink
Quote: boymimbo

Obviously what you wanted to do is outside of their canned script. They do not understand your request and have no instructions to think outside of the box. This is what you get when you pay someone in another country $2/hour.




Not to be picky, but I think you meant $2/day.
dm
dm
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October 28th, 2011 at 10:18:42 AM permalink
Quote: weaselman

Sure. Just ask who is the President of the United States. If the answer is "what are you smoking, sir?", you are talking to a human. If it is "I am sorry, I was unable to understand your request", it's a bot.



POTM!
DorothyGale
DorothyGale
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October 28th, 2011 at 10:55:11 AM permalink
Quote: weaselman

Who is the President of the United States.


Ashley has entered the session.
DG: I need help
Ashley: Welcome to Comcast Online Technical Support. My name is Ashley and I will be assisting you throughout this chat session.
Ashley: Hello DG.
DG: Hi Ashley
Ashley: May I please know how may I assist you today.
DG: Ashley, I have a question, I want to make sure I am not talking to a robot ...
DG: What is 2 plus two
Ashley: Okay.
Ashley: 4.
DG: Thank you! I spoke with someone yesterday, I have some lines in front of my house that are laying in the trees ... they are not my lines ... I need someone to come out and look at them and pin them back up ...
DG: I am not reporting a problem at my house, I am reporting a problem with your lines, you should send someone out to look at them
DG: I don't want to give you my account number but I will tell you where the problem is
DG: If you ask for my account number or phone number, I will hang up
DG: Your turn
Ashley: Okay . I see , allow me to think what I can do for you.
Ashley: Well I will be honest , I will not ask you for your account number , however I will need some information for send a technician an fix this issue.
DG: Yes, I will tell you this, my house is at <address deleted> -- the lines are in the trees hanging there and are easy to see ... send someone out ...
Ashley: Actually I just need this:
Ashley: 1. 10-Digit Phone Number as it is listed on the account.
2. Your full name as it is listed on the account.
DG: Good bye.
Ashley: Have a wonderful day.
"Who would have thought a good little girl like you could destroy my beautiful wickedness!"
boymimbo
boymimbo
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October 28th, 2011 at 11:23:29 AM permalink
I think I'm starting to get this...

The technical support group typically has to enter a ticket. The only keys on their screen are tied to a user's account. For them to enter anything, likely they will need (eventually) the account number of the caller. Their system has no way to record what you are looking for.

Take the system I work with, day in, and day out. If you called me to tell me that there was a problem with one of my assets, I would have to identify the asset by location and enter a work order to get the fix done. However, I am a customer service represenative, and likely, I only have access to customer records. That means that the only page that I have access to as a CSR is a customer page where the key information is the customer information. I would have to enter a work order and the only thing I can attach that to is the customer.
----- You want the truth! You can't handle the truth!
Alan
Alan
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October 28th, 2011 at 11:25:53 AM permalink
This post is too funny. That's the kind of responses I get when I am trying to 'do the right thing' and 'do them a favor' to report an issue they're having or going to have in the future, whether it personally affects me or not. You should be commended for putting forth such an effort. I've given up.
tsmith
tsmith
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October 28th, 2011 at 12:44:48 PM permalink
Just for the heck of it, I just went to the Comcast website and logged into the live chat and I am convinced I was talking to a real person.

FWIW, I said more or less the same thing as Dorothy Gale, with one big exception. I mentioned right off that I was not a Comcast customer but happened to notice cable lines hanging in the trees near my house and thought they should know about them and blah blah blah. Since there was no account number or phone number associated with my complaint the rep gave me an 800 phone number to call in order to contact a local office to let them know to send out a repair truck.

I didn't call the number, so I'm not sure if you'd get the same run-around or be stuck in an automated menu with no pertinent option to choose, but at least my little experiment made me realize the reps Dorothy encountered were actual humans, and not bots.
DorothyGale
DorothyGale
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October 28th, 2011 at 12:51:25 PM permalink
I previously called their number and tried to register the issue ... that was purgatory ... before trying the live chat (as above) I decided to go the next route and try their e-mail service where they guarantee a reply by a human ... this is the reply I got after I tried to explain to them that I didn't want them to visit me, I just wanted them to know they had a problem ...

Dear DG,

Thank you for your e-mail. I understand you are still having difficulties with the service. I apologize for any inconvenience this may caused you.

In this case I recommend schedule a technical visit for you. The closest technician available is on 11/02/11 between 8:00 am - 10:00 am and also between 3:00 pm - 5:00 pm. These times are subject to change, so please contact us as soon as possible to confirm the date and time you are interested in.

In case the previous dates and times do not apply, please reply to this e-mail message as soon as possible with a date and time that is convenient for you and we will try to arrange a technician in the closest time slot possible.

Please be aware of the following:

1. There must be a person 18 years of age or older present at the time of the visit in order for the technician to enter the residence.

2. The technician should call approximately 45 minutes prior to the appointment for confirmation purposes.

3. Please remember that all equipment must be in an accessible location and pets should be kept at a distance from the technician.

4. If the problem is originated by Comcast, there will be no charge or additional fee for the visit.

5. If the problem result to be in your end you will be charged with a fee for the visit.

Please provide the information requested above at your earliest convenience to have this request fulfilled as soon as possible.

...

You would think that this is just cut/paste stuff, but read #5, that's so ungrammatical as to make me think some guy just typed it out ... or worse, maybe that is the Comcast standard disclaimer and it's just poorly written ... at least he didn't use the word "literally" ...
"Who would have thought a good little girl like you could destroy my beautiful wickedness!"
rdw4potus
rdw4potus
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October 28th, 2011 at 1:03:28 PM permalink
Quote: DorothyGale



5. If the problem result to literally be in your end you will be charged with a fee for the visit.



You're right. That's much worse. Colorectal treatments by Comcast...is that covered by Obamacare?
"So as the clock ticked and the day passed, opportunity met preparation, and luck happened." - Maurice Clarett
tsmith
tsmith
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October 28th, 2011 at 1:07:31 PM permalink
Are you a Comcast customer whose service is being affected by these lines in the trees? If not, I say just say the hell with the whole thing and let the cable company figure it out when one of their customers calls and screams at them because they can't watch TV.

I live in Alabama, near where all those tornados came thru in April. Our cable company spent days stringing new wires on all the poles and believe it or not, I have some of their cables hanging in the trees behind my house too, but I don't use cable so I don't care. I never bothered to tell them about it because apparently these are old wires that have since been replaced. Next time something happens that they have to do repair work, they might -- might -- pull these wires out and take them away, but until then, as long as they're not live high-voltage wires they don't bother me.
DorothyGale
DorothyGale
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October 28th, 2011 at 1:18:54 PM permalink
Quote: tsmith

Are you a Comcast customer whose service is being affected by these lines in the trees? If not, I say just say the hell with the whole thing and let the cable company figure it out when one of their customers calls and screams at them because they can't watch TV.

Obviously, I am bored and am finding great humor in this exercise ... you just have to look outside here to realize that, aside from staring at dirt, there's not much to do around here ...

--Ms. D.
"Who would have thought a good little girl like you could destroy my beautiful wickedness!"
DJTeddyBear
DJTeddyBear
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October 28th, 2011 at 3:43:30 PM permalink
Quote: tsmith

...as long as they're not live high-voltage wires they don't bother me.

I trust you know the difference, but, what if you didn't?

Maybe you and Dorothy should call the local utility and/or phone company, and let them contact Comcast. I'm sure they have back-door access to real people that can handle this sort of stuff.
I invented a few casino games. Info: http://www.DaveMillerGaming.com/ ————————————————————————————————————— Superstitions are silly, childish, irrational rituals, born out of fear of the unknown. But how much does it cost to knock on wood? 😁
Nareed
Nareed
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October 29th, 2011 at 1:43:13 PM permalink
Quote: DorothyGale

The closest technician available is on 11/02/11 between 8:00 am - 10:00 am and also between 3:00 pm - 5:00 pm. These times are subject to change,



Now, that's hilarious :D

Don't you just feel like writing back something along the lines of "I can receive your technician between 11 am and 2 pm. I will call 45 minutes in advance of my arrival in order to confirm...."
Donald Trump is a fucking criminal
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