Story Idea

I thought I'd present the first thrid or so of a story I'm outlinign and ask for feedback. thanks!

First the three main characters

1) Helen is a middle-aged, post-op transsexual woman, she's a novelist who lives in Vegas
2) Dr. Curtiss McNeil is one of the world's foremost transplant surgeons, also an immunologist and practices in LA with 2 other doctors. he's middle-aged, too
3) Dr. Laura Ludlow (this name may change, it's one of my old stand-bys), immunologist and one of Curtiss' partners. She's in her early 30s and a very good doctor.

Helen drives to LA for a consult with Curtiss. She asks for directions to his office at the admissions desk, but collapses before she can get them. She's swarmed by doctors, hospitals being good palces to collapse, and Curtiss is apged since she's probably his patient. She sin't, but he comes down anyway because he has her medical history.

Curtiss diagnoses a mild problem that's not serious but does require a few days int he hospital (I need to do some research on that). Helen is half-conscious and answers rationally (when she answers), except when Laura asks if she has an immune condition. helen answers "No. I hope you'll give me one."

Part two begins the next day with Helen in a hospital room explaining to Curtiss and Laura she was only half-kidding with her reply. She wants to hire Curtiss to eprform an ovarian transplant on her, which would reuqire treatment with immunosupressant drugs (ie an immune system condition of sorts). Both doctors find themselve intrigued by Helen's sense of humor, but both also want to reject her request out of hand. laura deffers to Curtiss in the matter because 1) he's the surgeon and 2) he's the senior partner.

Curtiss says "I'm inclined to say no, ma'am. Ovaries are not medically or psychologically necessary for you. You do just as well with hormone replacement therapy. And all trasnplants carry a serious risk of rejection, which can be deadly. But I'll let you try to change my mind." Well, words to that effect. I do write dialogue better than that.

Over the next few days Helen does just that. Both Laura and Curtiss enjoy spending time with her, mostly arguing about ovaries, trasnplants, rejection, her overall condition, and the fiction she writes (which by an amazing coincidence is identical to what I write. Hm...)

Here's the tricky part. By the time Helen's well enough to be discharged, Curtiss finds himself very much attracted to her, almost on the verge of falling in love. Helen stays in LA for a few days to attend to some business. Curtiss wants to ask her out, but as she is his recent patient and, potentially, her future patient as well, it would be unethical of him to do so. He does invite her to dinner, but not as a date, they simply go on as before, just talking and Helen keeps making her pitch for a transplant.

For her part Helen is also attracted to him, but is very much unsure how to proceed. She has a conflict of her own: does she want the transplant mroe than she wants a man? Curtiss' has antoher conflict he's been thinking the transplant's risk is acceptable if the patient understands it, and Helen does. He wants her to be happy, which means the transplant, but he doens't want to risk her life, which means no transplant.

I kind of overlooked Lura here. By the time Helens' discharged, Laura is on her side, but still deferring to Curtiss for the reasons outlined above. the third partner, a younger surgeon, may get mentioned but isn't part of the story.

That's what I have so far. Well, that and part of the ending. By the end they have to end up together, transplant or no trasnplant.

So, what do you think? interesting? Not itneresting? Unbelievable?

Thanks for reading this far.

So what's the longest a poll's gone completely unanswered?

I think I can claim the record already :)

Hi Nareed,

Sorry to break your streak, but I wanted to comment.

I think this has the potential for being an interesting story. I like the idea of Helen. She's a character I've never encountered before. I think the key would be to flesh her out and really bring her to life. It might be especially interesting if she weren't 100% nice. Seems like there's a lot you could do with her.

I could totally see this working if you kept the focus on Helen and threw a bunch of obstacles in the way of her getting what she wants. Then see what she does. I'm a little less interested in a romance developing with the doctors. For me, Helen is clearly the interesting person here. I'd like to read a story that followed her pretty closely. Were you thinking 1st person?

Anyway, I'd say it's worth exploring some more.

Quote: Kayday

Sorry to break your streak, but I wanted to comment.

Thank you!

Quote:

I think this has the potential for being an interesting story. I like the idea of Helen. She's a character I've never encountered before.

If you wait a bit you'll encounter several. I've 4 and a half other stories outlined, all involving a transsexual woman in a central role.

Quote:

I think the key would be to flesh her out and really bring her to life. It might be especially interesting if she weren't 100% nice. Seems like there's a lot you could do with her.

No one is 100% nice, but it's easier to write a nice character. The only thing I demand of my central characters is that they always be rational.

Quote:

I could totally see this working if you kept the focus on Helen and threw a bunch of obstacles in the way of her getting what she wants. Then see what she does. I'm a little less interested in a romance developing with the doctors. For me, Helen is clearly the interesting person here.

I did just that. Ok, one obstacle, to begin with, but a very big one. She's alone, doesn't date much, and here's this perfect bachelor whom she has feelings for, but whom she can't take up because that means no transplant.

Quote:

I'd like to read a story that followed her pretty closely. Were you thinking 1st person?

She's the central character, so there would be a very close following regardless. I don't know if it will be first person, but likely not. It's hard to do a first person when the character is lying unconscious, or semi-conscious.

Quote:

Anyway, I'd say it's worth exploring some more.

Thanks. I'll let you know if/when something comes out of it.

Also, if you're interested, and if I can stop running errands during my time off, I can let you read chapters 1 and 2 of my current novel/story "Keeping Secrets" by the end of the month.

You can visit my blog Kathy's Cooking Corner at kathyscookingcorner.blogspot.mx ... .... When someone offers you friendship with one hand and stabs you in the back with the other, you tend to notice the knife a little bit more.

Quote: zeeshan123

You can visit my blog Kathy's Cooking Corner at kathyscookingcorner.blogspot.mx ... .... When someone offers you friendship with one hand and stabs you in the back with the other, you tend to notice the knife a little bit more.

This thread has been inactive for 3 1/2 years. You have every right to bring it back but all you did was quote another member's signature. I find this odd. Did you have trouble posting or is that what you wanted to do?

spambot nuked.

Quote: beachbumbabs

spambot nuked.

I think "The Fremont Street Commando" is a good story/idea. A homeless street tramp that made good in the gambling world. The best story that could ever be told in the gamblibg world.

Quote: mickeycrimm

I think "The Fremont Street Commando" is a good story/idea. A homeless street tramp that made good in the gambling world. The best story that could ever be told in the gamblibg world.

I keep tellin' ya...we need to put your stories together as a book.

Quote: 1BB

This thread has been inactive for 3 1/2 years. You have every right to bring it back but all you did was quote another member's signature. I find this odd. Did you have trouble posting or is that what you wanted to do?

I didn't find this odd at all. I personally have visited the blog several times because I wanna see a damn picture.

I just posted so 'bish isn't showing up Red on the main page anymore.

i vote for) and i don't know why many peoples vote for it's bad idea