How can this always happen to me?
Let me give you a bit of background you may not know. When I wrote the article in 2011 about the Dragon side bet that was posted on WoO, I was as surprised as anyone about the reaction. You weren't at G2E at 2011, but Max Rubin was. He said to me "Eliot, you are the shitstorm of G2E this year." I learned that lawsuits were contemplated. There were even some conspiracies floated that SHFL had hired me to write that article, since they were competing with EZ Baccarat. It was ugly. I imagine it was similar to what Thorp endured when his BTD first appeared. Industry professionals at all levels were panicked. It was way overblown, IMO. And then I got a call from an AP on the East Coast who told me he was working the Dragon bet in a casino where he was able to put $900 down on the Dragon at a time (the table max was $300 but he had figured out how to put down 3 wagers of $300 at a time). I remember his words, "Don't mess with a man's livelihood."Quote: mcallister3200Replace “never” with “very rarely” and it is factually correct. You built a business off of worst case scenarios, puffery and scare tactics. As well as being gifted and working at it.
The overreaction told me there was an opportunity and I started APHeat from it. What I did was to make people aware that every game was beatable. After the 100-th article or so on APHeat, no one cared anymore. They got it. There was a mission to educate a side of the table you know very little about. and I think I did a fairly good job of it, even if some of the time they overreacted, just like in the Dragon side bet case that started it all. And now, 8 years later, most folks know about edge sorting, counting side bets, hole-carding proprietary games, loss rebates and other plays. No one overreacts any more. At least, not those I've helped educate.
As for "very rarely" this comment speaks (wrongly) towards only one small part of my business. I don't imagine I was using bluster or was very rarely honest when I was designing slot machines, doing gaming math reports, auditing online casinos for fair play, working as an expert witness for Phil Ivey or the State of Florida (both lawsuits against casinos, by the way), secret shopping, investigating casino cheating, designing custom risk spread sheets, engaged in market research, investigating money laundering or any other part of my life as a consultant.
The fact that you know so very little about me, yet are willing to say such absurd and flagrantly insulting comments, says more about you than anything you could ever say about me.
Quote: AxelWolfYa, I hear Percocet is way more popular with the LGBT community.
I was kinda serious as to where and why he even has Oxy.
--------------------------------------------------------------
FYI, someone might read your post and think your are directing the entire thing at me.
Apparently there are even folks here on Meds as well. Does it help you with your play?
https://wizardofvegas.com/forum/off-topic/general/28288-peds-in-poker/#post578071
Quote: billryanMy first interaction with this member was him wishing my dog got killed in front of me. He's a real class act.
Bill I told you I was sorry for that. That didn’t just come from nowhere you were dragging someone who couldn’t respond through the mud. Get over it, or just continue to bring it up every few months out of nowhere.
Quote: teliotLet me give you a bit of background you may not know. When I wrote the article in 2011 about the Dragon side bet that was posted on WoO, I was as surprised as anyone about the reaction. You weren't at G2E at 2011, but Max Rubin was. He said to me "Eliot, you are the shitstorm of G2E this year." I learned that lawsuits were contemplated. There were even some conspiracies floated that SHFL had hired me to write that article, since they were competing with EZ Baccarat. It was ugly. I imagine it was similar to what Thorp endured when his BTD first appeared.
The overreaction told me there was an opportunity and I started APHeat from it. What I did was to make people aware that every game was beatable. After the 100-th article or so on APHeat, no one cared anymore. They got it. There was a mission to educate a side of the table you know very little about. and I think I did a fairly good job of it, even if some of the time they overreacted, just like in the Dragon side bet case that started it all. And now, 8 years later, most folks know about edge sorting, counting side bets, hole-carding proprietary games, loss rebates and other plays. No one overreacts any more. At least, not those I've helped educate.
As for "very rarely" this comment speaks (wrongly) towards only one small part of my business. I don't imagine I was using bluster or was very rarely honest when I was designing slot machines, doing gaming math reports, auditing online casinos for fair play, working as an expert witness for Phil Ivey, secret shopping, investigating casino cheating, designing custom risk spread sheets, engaged in market research, investigating money laundering or any other part of my life as a consultant.
The fact that you know so very little about me, yet are willing to say such absurd and flagrantly insulting comments, says more about you than anything you could ever say about me.
You should re-read his posts then because you’re misconstruing what he said. Mcallister is the real deal. You should listen to what he has to say because he actually knows what he’s talking about and has the real world experience to back it up. As the Ancient Hawaiians used to say, “Don’t bite your master’s hand.”
As I’m sure you’ve heard before, there’s a massive difference between doing math and simulations for AP versus actually APing.
I know McAllister is one of the pros here, along with Axel, DarkOZ, Ssho and a few others.Quote: RSYou should re-read his posts then because you’re misconstruing what he said. Mcallister is the real deal. You should listen to what he has to say because he actually knows what he’s talking about and has the real world experience to back it up. As the Ancient Hawaiians used to say, “Don’t bite your master’s hand.”
As I’m sure you’ve heard before, there’s a massive difference between doing math and simulations for AP versus actually APing.
The valid point he made, and that he could have made without his other more personal comments, is that it is not so easy to just go hole-card Mississippi Stud or 3CP. There are other costs, of which he enumerated a few. If that was the conversation he wanted to have, I would have been overjoyed to pursue that line of discussion and its merits that are in favor of simple card counting. In my day, I hole-carded a lot and have some direct experience with what it takes. Unlike "math and sims" -- I have real world experience. The day I lost $6000 hole-carding a superstar flasher at 3CP taught me a lot about myself and my ability at the tables.
But that's not what he did. For whatever reason, rather than going down what was an interesting line of inquiry, he opted to just throw inaccuracies at me. In some bizarre universe, he gets points for that.
Quote: RSthere’s a massive difference between doing math and simulations for AP versus actually APing.
Amen to that. Part of it is you
lose about 30% (or more) of
your ability to concentrate as
soon as you enter a casino.
(is mentioning this hijacking
the thread? I truly do not
know, I'm still trying to get the
new meaning here of 'hijacking'.
I guess this thread is about
pig piling on ZK, but it's hard
to tell.)
Quote: billryanThey could start by doing a wellness check. Of course, if he is still living where he was last year, the police might need a SWAT team to enter the property.
A conversation with an Officer will determine if there is anything they can do.
I don't think this is the time to suspend him, it's time to help him if possible. Suspensions can come later.
Remember this?
https://www.pokertube.com/article/poker-player-arrested-for-blog-death-threats
Quote: FatGeezusYou think you have problems.
The doctors just discovered a cancerous tumor on my kidney.
Again----You think you have problems!!!!
WOW that sucks - will think positive thoughts for you
Quote: EvenBobPeople here have met ZK. Would they
say his suicide talk is real, or has he,
like so many others, weaponized it
because it gets him a lot of attention.
Just read his posts, he lives off attention
like it's a food group.
I would say that, to some degree, it's real. I'm not qualified to quantify the amount.
Quote: EvenBobPeople here have met ZK. Would they
say his suicide talk is real, or has he,
like so many others, weaponized it
because it gets him a lot of attention.
Just read his posts, he lives off attention
like it's a food group.
Weaponizing suicide for attention?
Are you certain you worked on a suicide prevention hotline?
Quote: darkozWeaponizing suicide for attention?
You have to be able to tell the
difference between the real
and those just wanting attention.
Not easy sometimes.
Knew a guy in the 80's who
was a nice guy, but a feel
sorry for himself drunk.
He would sit at the table
and put his 45 to his head
and say he was gonna do
it, but never did. It was an
attention getting thing, his
wife eventually left him and
he's still around today.
Quote: AxelWolfit's probably best that if you don't have anything good to say, you don't say anything at all.
You should be telling your buddy ZK that.
Quote: EvenBobThis whole 'corner' thing was engineered
during one of my periods of absence.
You know who should get their own
'corner'? People who have something
of value to contribute on a regular basis.
Giving people their own space because
they're a pain in everybody else's rear end
is ridiculous. It only encourages more of
such behavior. There are thousands of
forums on the web where they can bother with
their nonsense, giving them a special
place to do it here is absurd..
Agree 100%. As I have mentioned before, the moderation here is ridiculous.
Nuke ZQ already and get rid of Kentra's Korner too!
Quote: michael99000You should be telling your buddy ZK that.
To be fair, a lot of Zenking's rants are more about The Casinos than individual people.
Quote: FaceI don't think y'all can hear him.
Let's math - if you were to plot a graph of a 101% expectation game, you'd have a straight line on an ever so slight incline. That's the theory. That's the math. In practice, tho, you know that while you'll kinda sorta follow that line, your actual path deviates, sometimes frequently so.
So imagine that plot as a timeline. Plot any of y'all's careers and you'd see several dips and several jumps. On paper, just info. But in reality... it's a lot bleeding different. A "little blip" on paper could be you with no transport, illness or injury, a loss of income, all of which, in reality, hand you a giant question mark. A question mark that in that very moment you can't rid yourself of.
Most of us take it in stride. Been there before, amirite? Life s#$%s on you sometimes, but you just get back up. Just like you did last time, and the time before that. How many times have you bean beaten down? You're still here, right? Nothing to worry about, then, correct?
ZK is what? 28? His "chart" is ALL paper. His entire future is naught but theory. When you fall, you have 10-20-50 years of falling experience comforting you, confirming to your insecurities that yes, I will get back up again. Dudes 28(ish). How much could he have fallen by now?
A man cast everything aside to pursue a dream solo. Say what you will about professional AP, solo ventures of any kind are terrifying. Add to it that it your SOLE MEANS of support, and yeah, any fall is gonna rile you up. You don't have the armor of experience to shield yourself. You don't have a pile of means cushioning the fall. You don't go home to your owned house and nurturing wife and review your portfolio and nurse your wounds with support, you're cast in the street with nothing but your own self and your future exists only in theory. That's real s#$%.
Been there. And as much as I romanticize the lone wolf lifestyle, it's scary as s@#$. Yeah you get all the accolades in success, but every bit of pain, suffering and uncertainty is likewise yours alone to bear. All of that, with no proof of experience telling you you're doing it right, no team telling you you're doing it right, and reality "proving" you're doing it wrong, and all you've got is the lone voice in your own head saying "No. This is right"
I get it. Let 'im rant.
He’s 28, not 16.
If an adult chooses to go into card counting as a profession without realizing that $2800 losing sessions come with it, then he deserves every setback that comes his way
It’s a bunch of over-dramatized attention seeking nonsense.
The only people I feel sorry for are those wasting their sympathy here when it could be directed toward someone with real problems.
Quote: michael99000Quote: FaceI don't think y'all can hear him.
Let's math - if you were to plot a graph of a 101% expectation game, you'd have a straight line on an ever so slight incline. That's the theory. That's the math. In practice, tho, you know that while you'll kinda sorta follow that line, your actual path deviates, sometimes frequently so.
So imagine that plot as a timeline. Plot any of y'all's careers and you'd see several dips and several jumps. On paper, just info. But in reality... it's a lot bleeding different. A "little blip" on paper could be you with no transport, illness or injury, a loss of income, all of which, in reality, hand you a giant question mark. A question mark that in that very moment you can't rid yourself of.
Most of us take it in stride. Been there before, amirite? Life s#$%s on you sometimes, but you just get back up. Just like you did last time, and the time before that. How many times have you bean beaten down? You're still here, right? Nothing to worry about, then, correct?
ZK is what? 28? His "chart" is ALL paper. His entire future is naught but theory. When you fall, you have 10-20-50 years of falling experience comforting you, confirming to your insecurities that yes, I will get back up again. Dudes 28(ish). How much could he have fallen by now?
A man cast everything aside to pursue a dream solo. Say what you will about professional AP, solo ventures of any kind are terrifying. Add to it that it your SOLE MEANS of support, and yeah, any fall is gonna rile you up. You don't have the armor of experience to shield yourself. You don't have a pile of means cushioning the fall. You don't go home to your owned house and nurturing wife and review your portfolio and nurse your wounds with support, you're cast in the street with nothing but your own self and your future exists only in theory. That's real s#$%.
Been there. And as much as I romanticize the lone wolf lifestyle, it's scary as s@#$. Yeah you get all the accolades in success, but every bit of pain, suffering and uncertainty is likewise yours alone to bear. All of that, with no proof of experience telling you you're doing it right, no team telling you you're doing it right, and reality "proving" you're doing it wrong, and all you've got is the lone voice in your own head saying "No. This is right"
I get it. Let 'im rant.
He’s 28, not 16.
If an adult chooses to go into card counting as a profession without realizing that $2800 losing sessions come with it, then he deserves every setback that comes his way
It’s a bunch of over-dramatized attention seeking nonsense.
The only people I feel sorry for are those wasting their sympathy here when it could be directed toward someone with real problems.
I feel sympathy for Zenking. :( $2800 is about 3 months of work for me, and if I lost that in one single day, I'd be ranting too. :(
Quote: mcallister3200Bill I told you I was sorry for that. That didn’t just come from nowhere you were dragging someone who couldn’t respond through the mud. Get over it, or just continue to bring it up every few months out of nowhere.
If you apologized for saying it, I didn't see it. In any event, I'm glad you did, I accept it, and will put it in the past.
Quote: EvenBob*EXCERPT*You have to be able to tell the
difference between the real
and those just wanting attention.
Not easy sometimes.
Horizontal = wants attention
Vertical = real
Quote: EvenBobYou have to be able to tell the
difference between the real
and those just wanting attention.
Not easy sometimes.
Knew a guy in the 80's who
was a nice guy, but a feel
sorry for himself drunk.
He would sit at the table
and put his 45 to his head
and say he was gonna do
it, but never did. It was an
attention getting thing, his
wife eventually left him and
he's still around today.
I heard about a person worked at one of those hotlines. Was in training or something. Listening in on a call and woman said she was in the tub and was going to throw the electric heater in the water and kill herself. Guy on the line said, "GO AHEAD!"
She didn't do it. Just wanted attention.
The thing I have heard is watch when the "noise" ends and the person gets real calm. Those are the ones who have made the decision to off themselves and see no reason in going for attention. They get quiet to get their mind in order then they do the act.
My grandfather shot himself. He was not looking for attention, just old and had enough. But he did wait until he saw all the grandkids one last time.
Quote: AZDuffmanto throw the electric heater in the water and kill herself. Guy on the line said, "GO AHEAD!" She didn't do it. Just wanted attention.
He would be fired on the spot. The
training to work a hotline is ridiculous,
it's like a six week college course.
All the things you can never say.
Do you really think I have the patience to read and entire post of his?Quote: michael99000You should be telling your buddy ZK that.
Next thing you know you will want me read one of Missions entire posts, or one of BBB's Trump rants, or Romes A-Zzzz card counting threads. You can really test my patience by having me read every word in one of DrawingDead's posts.
I can usually get though most of Dark OZ's posts, but that's only because I know there's usually something laughable for me to laugh at.
Anyways, had T.E. talked about suicide or something serious and ZK said something distasteful to him I may very well have chastised him for it. Personally, I expected more tact from T.E. Lets be real, we don't expect that from ZK.
While I might Razz people I like, it would be unlike me to call them out(call me biased), especially given the situation.
That's almost exactly what Kentry said he made.Quote: NathanQuote: michael99000Quote: FaceI don't think y'all can hear him.
Let's math - if you were to plot a graph of a 101% expectation game, you'd have a straight line on an ever so slight incline. That's the theory. That's the math. In practice, tho, you know that while you'll kinda sorta follow that line, your actual path deviates, sometimes frequently so.
So imagine that plot as a timeline. Plot any of y'all's careers and you'd see several dips and several jumps. On paper, just info. But in reality... it's a lot bleeding different. A "little blip" on paper could be you with no transport, illness or injury, a loss of income, all of which, in reality, hand you a giant question mark. A question mark that in that very moment you can't rid yourself of.
Most of us take it in stride. Been there before, amirite? Life s#$%s on you sometimes, but you just get back up. Just like you did last time, and the time before that. How many times have you bean beaten down? You're still here, right? Nothing to worry about, then, correct?
ZK is what? 28? His "chart" is ALL paper. His entire future is naught but theory. When you fall, you have 10-20-50 years of falling experience comforting you, confirming to your insecurities that yes, I will get back up again. Dudes 28(ish). How much could he have fallen by now?
A man cast everything aside to pursue a dream solo. Say what you will about professional AP, solo ventures of any kind are terrifying. Add to it that it your SOLE MEANS of support, and yeah, any fall is gonna rile you up. You don't have the armor of experience to shield yourself. You don't have a pile of means cushioning the fall. You don't go home to your owned house and nurturing wife and review your portfolio and nurse your wounds with support, you're cast in the street with nothing but your own self and your future exists only in theory. That's real s#$%.
Been there. And as much as I romanticize the lone wolf lifestyle, it's scary as s@#$. Yeah you get all the accolades in success, but every bit of pain, suffering and uncertainty is likewise yours alone to bear. All of that, with no proof of experience telling you you're doing it right, no team telling you you're doing it right, and reality "proving" you're doing it wrong, and all you've got is the lone voice in your own head saying "No. This is right"
I get it. Let 'im rant.
He’s 28, not 16.
If an adult chooses to go into card counting as a profession without realizing that $2800 losing sessions come with it, then he deserves every setback that comes his way
It’s a bunch of over-dramatized attention seeking nonsense.
The only people I feel sorry for are those wasting their sympathy here when it could be directed toward someone with real problems.
I feel sympathy for Zenking. :( $2800 is about 3 months of work for me, and if I lost that in one single day, I'd be ranting too. :(
Quote: AxelWolfThat's almost exactly what Kentry said he made.
Lol
Quote: AxelWolfYa, I hear Percocet is way more popular with the LGBT community.
I was kinda serious as to where and why he even has Oxy.
--------------------------------------------------------------
FYI, someone might read your post and think your are directing the entire thing at me.
Two days later and Romes hasn't actually denied that he was talking about you. Did you guys break up?
Quote: beachbumbabsJust sayin...
16 people and I have zero idea
who 9 of them are. They could
be random people off the street
to me. I wouldn't say Marilyn
was depressed as much as
she was dumb and incompetent
and hit the Peter Principle early
in her career.
Quote: beachbumbabsJust sayin...
Or the Illuminati - know what I'm saying
Quote: WatchMeWinApparently there are even folks here on Meds as well. Does it help you with your play?
https://wizardofvegas.com/forum/off-topic/general/28288-peds-in-poker/#post578071
Seriously Ax, Romes, and ZK... Do taking pills help you with your gambling? # PEDS in Poker
Quote: WatchMeWinSeriously Ax, Romes, and ZK... Do taking pills help you with your gambling? # PEDS in Poker
Awhile back, I did some edibles before a show at the MGM. They totally kicked my ads, but on the way out I hit a $460 slot hi on a machine that screaming at me to play it. Is further proof necessary?
Quote: WatchMeWinSeriously Ax, Romes, and ZK... Do taking pills help you with your gambling? # PEDS in Poker
Helps them ease the pain while losing..
“Not that there is anything wrong with it”
Next she will be on Nathan’s side and claiming she is a lifelong Republican.
Still love you kid!
Quote: BozTrying hard to figure out why Babs is such a ZK defender now.
Very simple.
A useless rant followed by a suicide threat garners sympathy.
A useless rant on its own garners a “get back to your corner”.
It’s all about knowing how to get people to feel sorry for you.
I have no clue, I don't take any drugs and never did (aside from alcohol and nicotine that is). I guess that's not entirely true. I may have smoked pot 2 times, I didnt like it. I tried a nitro balloon at a dead concern one time, but it just made me light headed and a little dizzy, It was probably just filled with helium. Other than that, I have never tried any street drugs. I don't even take any prescription medication currently.Quote: WatchMeWinSeriously Ax, Romes, and ZK... Do taking pills help you with your gambling? # PEDS in Poker
I have been prescribed numerous pain medication after numerous surgeries in the past, Dilaudid(that was in the hospitable so I wasn't gambling)Oxy, morphine, Fentanyl, and I don't think it had any affect on me when it came to gambling. The stuff just seemed to make me extra happy with a little bit more energy.
Quote: michael99000Very simple.
A useless rant followed by a suicide threat garners sympathy.
A useless rant on its own garners a “get back to your corner”.
It’s all about knowing how to get people to feel sorry for you.
Not that I every want it or need it, but I’m Thankful to be a bad guy around here. Spouting truth and calling out garbage when I see it.
Like you and “hopefully “ a majority of members, feeling sorry for someone is a show of weakness.
Save the pity for those who are mentally and physically disabled, they have little options. Being 400 pounds is a life choice. Doing nothing about it is another life choice.
We all have our crosses to bear.
Quote: EvenBobQuote: beachbumbabsJust sayin...
16 people and I have zero idea
who 9 of them are. They could
be random people off the street
to me. I wouldn't say Marilyn
was depressed as much as
she was dumb and incompetent
and hit the Peter Principle early
in her career.
I only recognized Marilyn Monroe. I still don't know who any of the others are.
Quote: DRichQuote: EvenBobQuote: beachbumbabsJust sayin...
16 people and I have zero idea
who 9 of them are. They could
be random people off the street
to me. I wouldn't say Marilyn
was depressed as much as
she was dumb and incompetent
and hit the Peter Principle early
in her career.
I only recognized Marilyn Monroe. I still don't know who any of the others are.
The smack junkie chef from the Travel Channel
The coke head loser from Popeye
The junkie from Owning Mahoney
The drunk from Black Sheep
The heroin guy from Nirvana
Some commie drunk writer from Cuba
See a pattern here?
Of course some on here see them as victims. As for me, get real, if they were too stupid to get help, it’s Darwinism at its finest.
Picture of Whitney Houston as a Newspaper headline “Whitney Houston beats Bobby Brown to death”.
Probably poetic, or wrong for “National Woman’s Day”, as I’m sure she had no other options in her life regardless of personal wealth. Or we as men just can’t understand how hard it is for someone worth an estimated $37M to get away from an abuser they “love”.
PS FU Kevin Costner for causing a rainout on an otherwise sunny day in Baltimore in 1997. But points for banging Cal Ripken Jr’s wife and kicking his arse.
Quote: AxelWolfI may have smoked pot 2 times, I didnt like it.
I smoked pot in 1969/70. I quit after
getting high and watching Yellow
Submarine at a theater and not
remembering a thing about it the
next day. Scared the crap out of me.
Quote: EvenBobI smoked pot in 1969/70. I quit after
getting high and watching Yellow
Submarine at a theater and not
remembering a thing about it the
next day. Scared the crap out of me.
You are a far better person for not remembering anything from those losers. Part of a generation underachievied based on a belief that these 4 idiots knew anything about anything.
Sadly Harry Nilsson died far too young thinking these English junkies should be respected.
There is a special place in Hades for the Beatles.
Quote: rdw4potusSo, basically, boz is a blue meanie?
Actually I know the Original Blue Meanie, Brian from ECW and the BWO.
And if Billy wants to confirm it I’m sure he has the contacts. We used to be in the same box at Flyers games in the early 2000’s and had mutual friends.
Good dude who always put himself out there for fans and never understood how happy he made people.
Quote: BozTrying hard to figure out why Babs is such a ZK defender now.
“Not that there is anything wrong with it”
Next she will be on Nathan’s side and claiming she is a lifelong Republican.
Still love you kid!
Still love you too Boz, but geez, what a problem-bro you've let yourself become! (Not this post). Could ya ease up on the gas pedal a bit and stop mowing down other members? I'd really like to have you around.
I WAS a lifelong Republican, and have said so often. Registered and voted in every election from 1976 to 2018. In 2018, I changed my registration. It killed me, because it was admitting defeat. It's always easier to change things from the inside. But I couldn't continue to be affiliated with it.
Some day, people should look up what the Republican platform stood for in 1976 and years previous to that. I'm not sure if there's a single plank that remains.
As to ZK or Nathan, I don't think I need to say any more than I have.
Quote: beachbumbabsStill love you too Boz, but geez, what a problem-bro you've let yourself become! (Not this post). Could ya ease up on the gas pedal a bit and stop mowing down other members? I'd really like to have you around.
I WAS a lifelong Republican, and have said so often. Registered and voted in every election from 1976 to 2018. In 2018, I changed my registration. It killed me, because it was admitting defeat. It's always easier to change things from the inside. But I couldn't continue to be affiliated with it.
Some day, people should look up what the Republican platform stood for in 1976 and years previous to that. I'm not sure if there's a single plank that remains.
As to ZK or Nathan, I don't think I need to say any more than I have.
Of course you don’t.
I’m just playing the game as I see it. And trying to be who I am while still being allowed to be a member here. Will never be one to biotch about the rules here and rarely disagree with my suspensions.
As Popeye once said, I am who I am. And as most gamblers say, I’ll let the cards fall where they do.
As for being a “bro”, come on, you have met me. I work hard to appear as a spoiled rotten rich guy. But a bro? Do I reall dress that way in my 50’s?
Maybe I’ll hire you for wardrobe suggestions, just keep me looking impressive. It’s not easy.
Love you Babs!
Quote: beachbumbabs
I WAS a lifelong Republican, and have said so often. Registered and voted in every election from 1976 to 2018. In 2018, I changed my registration. It killed me, because it was admitting defeat. It's always easier to change things from the inside. But I couldn't continue to be affiliated with it.
Some day, people should look up what the Republican platform stood for in 1976 and years previous to that. I'm not sure if there's a single plank that remains.
Some people stay in the closet their whole lives.😀😂😂
Quote: BozOf course you don’t.
I’m just playing the game as I see it. And trying to be who I am while still being allowed to be a member here. Will never be one to biotch about the rules here and rarely disagree with my suspensions.
As Popeye once said, I am who I am. And as most gamblers say, I’ll let the cards fall where they do.
As for being a “bro”, come on, you have met me. I work hard to appear as a spoiled rotten rich guy. But a bro? Do I reall dress that way in my 50’s?
Maybe I’ll hire you for wardrobe suggestions, just keep me looking impressive. It’s not easy.
Love you Babs!
Sorry about the "bro". The phrase was "problem child" and you're anything but a child, so it morphed. Badly said either way.
I do not claim any sense of style. My undergrad degree did include costume design, so I can sew you a wicked tunic and tights, but I can barely dress myself for public consumption. And you look fine.
Quote: beachbumbabsSorry about the "bro". The phrase was "problem child" and you're anything but a child, so it morphed. Badly said either way.
I do not claim any sense of style. My undergrad degree did include costume design, so I can sew you a wicked tunic and tights, but I can barely dress myself for public consumption. And you look fine.
Almost a Woodstock moment between us Babs.
And I’ll pass on the tights, but I’m trying to be on my best behavior. It’s actually easy when one wants to. Like any petulant child, I just can’t help myself sometimes.
But I’ll try.
@ZK
This doesn't sound suicidal ZK, but possibly depression and bi-polar. You can function perfectly, yet see things so gigantically one sided at any time. There's no doubt you've run into a long down trend.
Your tendency to blame everything on something so ethereal as divine intervention may show you are struggling with depression and should actually seek professional help or crisis line. Peoples suggestions about calling someone outside of your sphere are sound suggestions.
Someone said and rightly so, that people who voice what you have repeatedly either do it or don't. What half dozen are you? Know what? You don't have to be any of the 12 because you have the power in yourself to take control of your own life. And one of the first things you may want to do is stop blaming others and God.
What you bothered to post to a chat board shouldn't be written off either. You felt it was important enough to write this to a bunch of more or less strangers. I'm sure people would feel very bad if something were to happen to you. But it's not our fault. It's yours. We all make mistakes. The sooner you start taking responsibility for your actions and either accept you're just on a bad run or make the calls to get help maybe the sooner you will start to pick up.
Even though many responses have been negative, probably due to the repeat experience of reading your messages, many people extended open invitations to listen and try to help you.
We may never know if you call anyone here, but to never try after putting your heart on your sleeve and write what you wrote, can you blame anyone for how they react if you never try to contact someone reaching out to you.
Good luck, it will change for the better and make a call if you get any darker. You are not alone.
And how did all you others hijack this thread so badly? I see nothing humorous about ZK's conditions.
It was three months training and three months probation. Today you may need certificates as well. We didn't at the time. Most people quit before probation is done.
My sister in law worked a company for over 8 years. I lasted three years. One has to be really different to last in that occupation.
It is stressful as all hell. Every contact had meaning and taken serious.
And you keep telling yourself you're doing someone good.
...But who listens to us?
