surrender88s
surrender88s
Joined: Jun 23, 2013
  • Threads: 20
  • Posts: 291
June 30th, 2015 at 11:11:22 AM permalink
All I know is the difference between a buffalo and a bison...

...you can't wash your hands in a buffalo. EY OH!
"Rule No.1: Never lose money. Rule No.2: Never forget rule No.1." -Warren Buffett on risk/return
RS
RS
Joined: Feb 11, 2014
  • Threads: 62
  • Posts: 8623
June 30th, 2015 at 11:25:47 AM permalink
Quote: djatc

There are many people who believe the movie more then your write up... which is kinda funny.

The wonderful life of AP is fun but for those who don't know about it:

You get to travel to exotic locations! - within 24 hour notice, and you have to book the flight, change plans around, and find a rental car as well as a hotel. Figure out who can take care of your free play, also see if any comps need to be used ASAP so you don't miss out. Most of the time a very short notice flight means you are on a connecting flight, so have fun at TSA in McCarran, getting on the plane, reaching destination 1, deplaning, running over to plane 2, etc until you get to your destination. Don't forget to pick up the rental car, oh and there's always a line, no matter what time you go.

You get to stay at wonderful locations and 5 star rooms! - sometimes if you had previous play at a location you MIGHT get a comp, but if not you're usually stuck at fleabag motel number 23556 near the casino. Also most of these fleabag rooms don't have HDTV, clean rooms (lol), a working shower (this sucks to the maximum), no safe (gg safekeeping money), and Bob Dancer is usually munching on continental breakfast even though he's not staying at the motel :( If you can pull a room comp it's pretty nice, since you can play where you stay (N/A for counters probably.)

Wine and dine at the steakhouse every night! - I usually end up at fast food location 94520 near the motel since I'm too lazy. Also see above for comps. I try to eat at Subway or Chipotle since they have some inkling of healthy food. If there is a lot of time I can usually find a nice local place, or get a comp at the casino. But the comp system is very weird at some places, where you will have $200 in comps but it must be used all at one restaurant.... so now you have to plan a nice expensive dinner for one day, but what about the other days?

PRINT MONEY ON AP! - We've had healthy advantages (30%+) and still lost money. Sometimes things come up where you literally can't lose, but we find a way ;( Assuming nobody bothers you while playing. No matter how safe you think a play is there is always the 0.1% chance you could get tossed out, not to mention a promotion can change on a dime (I'm sure Revel was like this) if they feel they are getting beat up pretty bad. Expected value is the amount you will make OVER TIME, even something with a big edge. Until the long run your actual results may vary.

Beautiful women on both arms courtesy of the casino! - no comment....



This is pure greatness.
1BB
1BB
Joined: Oct 10, 2011
  • Threads: 18
  • Posts: 5339
June 30th, 2015 at 12:06:07 PM permalink
Quote: HowMany

I know. I discussed this with my girlfriend many, many years ago

[Me]- Do you know the difference between jam and jelly?

[Girlfriend]- No. What's the difference?



** Am I going to get suspended for answering sodawater's question? If yes, I'm sorry I posted it.



If I had said that, which I never would, I believe that there would be a good chance that I would be suspended. Although enforcement of it may vary, Forum Rule 6 is quite clear.

If you have concerns you can always delete or edit a post. If you do so I'll be happy to follow suit and delete it from this post as well.
Many people, especially ignorant people, want to punish you for speaking the truth. - Mahatma Ghandi
AxelWolf
AxelWolf
Joined: Oct 10, 2012
  • Threads: 144
  • Posts: 18133
June 30th, 2015 at 12:45:10 PM permalink
Quote: 1BB

Quote: HowMany

I know. I discussed this with my girlfriend many, many years ago

[Me]- Do you know the difference between jam and jelly?

[Girlfriend]- No. What's the difference?

[Me]- I can't jelly my penis in your mouth.

** Am I going to get suspended for answering sodawater's question? If yes, I'm sorry I posted it.



If I had said that, which I never would, I believe that there would be a good chance that I would be suspended. Although enforcement of it may vary, Forum Rule 6 is quite clear.

If you have concerns you can always delete or edit a post. If you do so I'll be happy to follow suit and delete it from this post as well.

The good old quote it so it can't be deleted without a trail of evidence left behind trick.
♪♪Now you swear and kick and beg us That you're not a gamblin' man Then you find you're back in Vegas With a handle in your hand♪♪ Your black cards can make you money So you hide them when you're able In the land of casinos and money You must put them on the table♪♪ You go back Jack do it again roulette wheels turinin' 'round and 'round♪♪ You go back Jack do it again♪♪
odiousgambit
odiousgambit
Joined: Nov 9, 2009
  • Threads: 300
  • Posts: 8295
June 30th, 2015 at 1:00:55 PM permalink
Quote: AxelWolf

The good old quote it so it can't be deleted without a trail of evidence left behind trick.



rascally!
the next time Dame Fortune toys with your heart, your soul and your wallet, raise your glass and praise her thus: “Thanks for nothing, you cold-hearted, evil, damnable, nefarious, low-life, malicious monster from Hell!” She is, after all, stone deaf. ... Arnold Snyder
miplet
miplet
Joined: Dec 1, 2009
  • Threads: 5
  • Posts: 1940
June 30th, 2015 at 1:08:10 PM permalink
Quote: HowMany

I know. I discussed this with my girlfriend many, many years ago

[Me]- Do you know the difference between jam and jelly?

[Girlfriend]- No. What's the difference?

[Me]- I can't jelly my penis in your mouth.

** Am I going to get suspended for answering sodawater's question? If yes, I'm sorry I posted it.


Insert (yes, a really bad pun) K-Y Jelly joke here.
“Man Babes” #AxelFabulous
1BB
1BB
Joined: Oct 10, 2011
  • Threads: 18
  • Posts: 5339
June 30th, 2015 at 1:34:55 PM permalink
Quote: AxelWolf

Quote: 1BB

Quote: HowMany

I know. I discussed this with my girlfriend many, many years ago

[Me]- Do you know the difference between jam and jelly?

[Girlfriend]- No. What's the difference?

[Me]- I can't jelly my penis in your mouth.

** Am I going to get suspended for answering sodawater's question? If yes, I'm sorry I posted it.



If I had said that, which I never would, I believe that there would be a good chance that I would be suspended. Although enforcement of it may vary, Forum Rule 6 is quite clear.

If you have concerns you can always delete or edit a post. If you do so I'll be happy to follow suit and delete it from this post as well.

The good old quote it so it can't be deleted without a trail of evidence left behind trick.



I didn't feel right quoting it so I deleted it from my post. Anyone else?
Many people, especially ignorant people, want to punish you for speaking the truth. - Mahatma Ghandi
AxelWolf
AxelWolf
Joined: Oct 10, 2012
  • Threads: 144
  • Posts: 18133
June 30th, 2015 at 1:46:36 PM permalink
Im disappointed they took out th joke thread.
♪♪Now you swear and kick and beg us That you're not a gamblin' man Then you find you're back in Vegas With a handle in your hand♪♪ Your black cards can make you money So you hide them when you're able In the land of casinos and money You must put them on the table♪♪ You go back Jack do it again roulette wheels turinin' 'round and 'round♪♪ You go back Jack do it again♪♪
FleaStiff
FleaStiff 
Joined: Oct 19, 2009
  • Threads: 265
  • Posts: 14424
June 30th, 2015 at 1:49:59 PM permalink
Quote: EvenBob

A woman would be too humiliated to admit she was a sloth for a whole day.

Nonsense. a woman's goal is to be a pampered, bon-bon eating sloth every day.

>My wife wants me to pick them so she can make jam for her elderly parents.
Say what? I don't eat jam, you pick them. ......I'm in deep trouble..



Please let the wizard have "your digits" so that we can arrange an appropriately worded headstone for you.
djatc
djatc
Joined: Jan 15, 2013
  • Threads: 83
  • Posts: 4477
July 1st, 2015 at 12:33:42 AM permalink
Quote: HowMany

I know. I discussed this with my girlfriend many, many years ago

[Me]- Do you know the difference between jam and jelly?

[Girlfriend]- No. What's the difference?

[Me]- I can't jelly my penis in your mouth.

** Am I going to get suspended for answering sodawater's question? If yes, I'm sorry I posted it.



How did i not see this, thats hilarious.
"Man Babes" #AxelFabulous

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