So anyway, lets hear some opinions. Is that acceptable, for the server to ask for a tip in the middle of the meal, ESPECIALLY with plates piled up and empty glasses? Keep in mind a few minutes later, someone else came by and took the dirty plates and refilled our drinks and I did tip this person. I mean even if the first server had done an adequate job, is it my responsibility to tip two servers and decide who gets just what amount? I have never worked as a server, so I don't know how it works, but I would think if a server's shift ends in the middle of a meal and a second server completes the duties, it should be up to them to work out the tip sharing situation. So anyway, lets hear everyone tell me how wrong I am in my thinking.
there were three of you? Just hand her 3 bucks and get on with life
Quote: chickenmanYay, more tipping drama! Get out the Miller Lite and cashews hey hey
there were three of you? Just hand her 3 bucks and get on with life
No, it isn't drama....just a discussion. It just seemed very unprofessional that the server came up to me, in the middle of the meal and asked for a tip.
For what it's worth, being caught off guard, I did exactly what your small print (not sure the significance of that) indicated. But honestly, if I had an extra minute to think about it I wouldn't have done it that way.
My guess is that you actually did do as the others said and held up the dirty dishes.
edit: I guessed wrong.
A few responses:
Does your supervisor know that you are interrupting our meal by asking for a tip?
Could you clear the dishes and refill our drinks?
I'll leave the tip when we're finished.
Could you send the manager over?
I think she would make a beeline for the door before she would send the manager over. If the manager did show, I would simply say that I enjoyed the food. I would say nothing about the server. Her not knowing what transpired with the manager would be worse than any tongue lashing and would put her on notice.
If the service was satisfactory I would leave the customary tip when I finished eating. It crossed my mind that there could be a remote possibility that this is a scam between the two servers to get more tips. You've tipped the first one but the second one also provided service. In fact, the second one provided more by clearing the dishes. Regardless of what you gave the first server, you're going to look like a stiff if you give nothing to the second. That could be the scam.
The thing to do is tip when you are ready to leave. If it happens again and it bothers you, by all means report it.
I think I see what's happening here. The server aspires to one day become a blackjack dealer and is honing her tip hustling skills so she'll fit right in when the big day comes.
From either POV, the OP's story makes the server very, very wrong.
In many restaurants, if you serve (or mostly serve) a table and your shift is over, you can transfer a table to the next server in order to let you punch out and leave work.
Sometimes the next server will pay you a percentage of the bill and then finish service (more descriptive of non-buffets, but still relevant), hoping that both the original and finishing server make some money and work as a team.
Sometimes, the exiting server is happy to leave without waiting to settle all the bills/tables and will walk away turning over any tips to the finishing server (who might return the favor on another occasion where the timing is reversed).
In some restaurants, there might be a policy related to sharing tips from 'crossover' tables that staff (mostly) follow, but it's likely to be similar to what I described above. If the servers work together with any frequency, an equilibrium should develop that works for everyone WITHOUT SOLICITING TIPS.
Whether you deal or serve food/drinks, hustling with the tone described by the OP should be a termination on the spot.
Quote: kewljQuote: chickenmanthere were three of you? Just hand her 3 bucks and get on with life
I did exactly what your small print (not sure the significance of that) indicated. But honestly, if I had an extra minute to think about it I wouldn't have done it that way.
$1/drink is reasonable for prompt service. It sounds like that's exactly all she did.
Quote: kewljAdmittedly, I am too lazy to go through and find one of the old tipping threads, but want to share this experience that happened yesterday at one of the local casino buffets.
This is not about tipping per se, but how to react to terrible / unprofessional service. That's a new topic therefore a new thread is fine. Even preferred.
I would have asked for refills. Nothing else except comments to the manager.
1. Never ask for tips.
2. Never worry about your tips, or even think about it.
3. Focus on your job and think about your job and the tips will come.
4. Always thank the person if possible.
THAT simple. It's a Zen process.
If she didn't make her tips by the end of her shift then asking for them on the last two or three people will NOT help.
Quote: PaigowdanThe key to getting tips:
1. Never ask for tips.
2. Never worry about your tips, or even think about it.
3. Focus on your job and think about your job and the tips will come.
4. Always thank the person if possible.
THAT simple. It's a Zen process.
If she didn't make her tips by the end of her shift then asking for them on the last two or three people will NOT help.
For one of the few times I agree with you and you said it perfectly.
As some of you know I own a bar/ restaurant and my employees know they would not last pulling something like this. They stay, naturally on the clock until every table they started is finished. We stagger shifts so someone usually doesn't take a new table in their last 30 minutes.
Quote: BozFor one of the few times I agree with you and you said it perfectly.
As some of you know I own a bar/ restaurant and my employees know they would not last pulling something like this. They stay, naturally on the clock until every table they started is finished. We stagger shifts so someone usually doesn't take a new table in their last 30 minutes.
In defense of the server in this situation, I believe for buffet servers it is more common to leave at a certain time, when your relief comes on and takes over that section. I only think this because I have started meals with one server a number of times before and ended with another. I have just never had anyone ask for their tip before.
"plant your corn early this year"
jed clampett
+1 if casino dealers all had this attitude they would be happy campers.Quote: PaigowdanThe key to getting tips:
1. Never ask for tips.
2. Never worry about your tips, or even think about it.
3. Focus on your job and think about your job and the tips will come.
4. Always thank the person if possible.
Quote: AxelWolf+1 if casino dealers all had this attitude they would be happy campers.
True. Dealers bitching and moaning about cheapskates in the break room was a downer, did NO one any good. I never sweated the tips. I'd see a whole table win the Fire bet, and one guy color up $7,532, - and throw in the $2 and say "for the boys!" and another win $575 and throw in the $75. One crap dealer was such a moaner about tips we'd get complaints about his attitude, and from then on he was assigned a low-roller BJ pitch game until he left; he was lucky we didn't have a Big 6 wheel.
The money wasn't the issue, and shouldn't be. It all balances out, AND balances out better if we just do our jobs not worrying. What really can get to dealers are the examples of humanity often seen at the gambling tables. ("What??!! We chiseling, shot-taking gamblers are a freakin' TREAT for you guys, fuggetabout it.")
Very poor manners.
Basically, you're talking about someone who doesn't make much money. At some point, it became evident to her that she can make an extra $10 a day (let's say), by doing this. If you're in this spot, particularly if you have a family, you are probably just going to cave in and ask for tips. "Sorry you can't have what you wanted for Christmas kids, but I don't believe servers should ask for tips." Come on. Nobody is going that route.
Management created a situation in which it's profitable to do this and allows it to happen, so it's probably just rational behavior for her.
Good. I appreciate this. For about the same reason I appreciate "thank you" when I slide a toke across the table, which is not because I want to get some kind of emotional satisfaction from an expression of gratitude (I really don't care about that) but because a dependable consistent verbal confirmation of where we're at before moving on, whether to next hand or next shift, is information I use. Done right, it simply provides me with a voluntary opportunity preventing me from defaulting to an accidental choice.Quote: beachbumbabsThe only acceptable way to deal with that is, "Hi, my shift is ending, and your server will be (point at other person, probably across the room, if they're in sight, and say their name). Is there anything else I can get you before I go?"
Though I did know one fellow who use to always respond to the question "did I forget you?" with "it never hurts to be sure." He was kind of an angle-shooting weasel when he was sitting on the other side of the table as a player, too. And not very good at that either. But there's always going to be one foul squishy berry in every bunch.
I valet parked my car tonight and the valet guy hands me my tag and says "you can tip me on the way out".
Oh can I?
So now you know the protocol at that joint :)Quote: rsactuaryIn the same vein, but kind of different topic....
I valet parked my car tonight and the valet guy hands me my tag and says "you can tip me on the way out".
Oh can I?
Quote: rsactuaryIn the same vein, but kind of different topic....
I valet parked my car tonight and the valet guy hands me my tag and says "you can tip me on the way out".
Oh can I?
Only you were there. From his tone, was he trying to be helpful or was he hustling? Tipping can be awkward for many people including the giver and the receiver.
Quote: rsactuaryIn the same vein, but kind of different topic....
I valet parked my car tonight and the valet guy hands me my tag and says "you can tip me on the way out".
Oh can I?
I wouldn't find this quite as rude. I am never sure to tip then or when I pick up. If you don't do it often one may not know.
Quote: DrawingDeadGood. I appreciate this. For about the same reason I appreciate "thank you" when I slide a toke across the table, which is not because I want to get some kind of emotional satisfaction from an expression of gratitude (I really don't care about that) but because a dependable consistent verbal confirmation of where we're at before moving on, whether to next hand or next shift, is information I use. Done right, it simply provides me with a voluntary opportunity preventing me from defaulting to an accidental choice.
Though I did know one fellow who use to always respond to the question "did I forget you?" with "it never hurts to be sure." He was kind of an angle-shooting weasel when he was sitting on the other side of the table as a player, too. And not very good at that either. But there's always going to be one foul squishy berry in every bunch.
Yeah, I'm the same way. Especially if my head is still stuck in the hand, which it usually is, it's easy to forget. Oftentimes, when I think, "shit, did I tip?" the "thank you" is what I remember.
So the proper way to ask for a tip in the middle of a meal is to come to the table with your relief and say "Are you finding everything ok? My shift's over, but my coworker here will take care of you. Thank you."
Quote: NareedSo the proper way to ask for a tip in the middle of a meal is to come to the table with your relief and say "Are you finding everything ok? My shift's over, but my coworker here will take care of you. Thank you."
The problem with that is, it should have been obvious that things were NOT OK. There were drinks that needed to be refilled, and empty buffet plates that needed to be cleared.
Clearly those items should have been taken care of BEFORE any mention of the shift switch.
1:16 and 1:52 :)
The Victorians didn't do sex. That's the reason there is none of them around now :-)Quote: Nareedthe way the Victorians did sex.
Quote: chickenmanThe Victorians didn't do sex. That's the reason there is none of them around now :-)
Sex is hereditary. If your parents didn't have it, you probably won't either.
Good one!Quote: DieterSex is hereditary. If your parents didn't have it, you probably won't either.