kewlj
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September 10th, 2014 at 10:55:16 PM permalink
Admittedly, I am too lazy to go through and find one of the old tipping threads, but want to share this experience that happened yesterday at one of the local casino buffets. There were 3 of us. We entered about 2:40 in the afternoon. The server asked what we wanted to drink and promptly brought our drinks. At about 3pm, we were sitting, 2 of our party on their second plates, me on a little desert, as I try to only eat one serving and a little desert. So, we were sitting with 3 dirty plates piled on the side and 3 empty beverage glasses, as we hadn't seen the server since the initial drinks. So at 3pm, she approaches and says, "I am leaving, do you have anything for me". She was asking for a tip and then proceeded to do so at 2 other tables. I was absolutely stunned. I am not going to tell what my response was....maybe I will tell later. But know that despite my anti-tipping stance with dealers, I am, what I consider a decent tipper, with waiters, waitresses and bartenders. If you don't know why I distinguish between the two occupations, you can read one of those old threads. lol.

So anyway, lets hear some opinions. Is that acceptable, for the server to ask for a tip in the middle of the meal, ESPECIALLY with plates piled up and empty glasses? Keep in mind a few minutes later, someone else came by and took the dirty plates and refilled our drinks and I did tip this person. I mean even if the first server had done an adequate job, is it my responsibility to tip two servers and decide who gets just what amount? I have never worked as a server, so I don't know how it works, but I would think if a server's shift ends in the middle of a meal and a second server completes the duties, it should be up to them to work out the tip sharing situation. So anyway, lets hear everyone tell me how wrong I am in my thinking.
djatc
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September 10th, 2014 at 11:43:39 PM permalink
"yeah clean these plates, I'm all done with the food'
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Deucekies
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September 11th, 2014 at 12:21:45 AM permalink
"Yes. Here you go." *hand her the plates*
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WBGamble
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September 11th, 2014 at 1:04:16 AM permalink
I don't think it's ever acceptable for someone to ask for tips. She should take care of her tables until her shift is over, and then leave. Any tips from a table that started during her shift should be divided up accordingly on her next workday. Every restaurant I've worked at, the employees had agreements to get everyone gets their fair share of the tips. Usually just left in an envelope in a breakroom or such until collected.
chickenman
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September 11th, 2014 at 1:17:15 AM permalink
Yay, more tipping drama! Get out the Miller Lite and cashews hey hey

there were three of you? Just hand her 3 bucks and get on with life
kewlj
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September 11th, 2014 at 1:26:31 AM permalink
Quote: chickenman

Yay, more tipping drama! Get out the Miller Lite and cashews hey hey

there were three of you? Just hand her 3 bucks and get on with life



No, it isn't drama....just a discussion. It just seemed very unprofessional that the server came up to me, in the middle of the meal and asked for a tip.

For what it's worth, being caught off guard, I did exactly what your small print (not sure the significance of that) indicated. But honestly, if I had an extra minute to think about it I wouldn't have done it that way.
chickenman
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September 11th, 2014 at 1:28:38 AM permalink
Don't get bent out of shape, tongue firmly in cheek.
Mooseton
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September 11th, 2014 at 1:47:30 AM permalink
That's pretty rude of her. Reminds me of when I tell the server that I'm paying with comps and their reply is along the lines of "You know the tip is not included with that." Really jack@55! You were a great server til you just said that.

My guess is that you actually did do as the others said and held up the dirty dishes.

edit: I guessed wrong.
$1700, 18, 19, 1920, 40, 60,... :/ Thx 'Do it again'. I'll try
1BB
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September 11th, 2014 at 3:51:29 AM permalink
She brought the drinks, didn't check back for 15 minutes and then asked for the tip without clearing the plates or offering drink refills. That is not acceptable.

A few responses:

Does your supervisor know that you are interrupting our meal by asking for a tip?

Could you clear the dishes and refill our drinks?

I'll leave the tip when we're finished.

Could you send the manager over?

I think she would make a beeline for the door before she would send the manager over. If the manager did show, I would simply say that I enjoyed the food. I would say nothing about the server. Her not knowing what transpired with the manager would be worse than any tongue lashing and would put her on notice.

If the service was satisfactory I would leave the customary tip when I finished eating. It crossed my mind that there could be a remote possibility that this is a scam between the two servers to get more tips. You've tipped the first one but the second one also provided service. In fact, the second one provided more by clearing the dishes. Regardless of what you gave the first server, you're going to look like a stiff if you give nothing to the second. That could be the scam.

The thing to do is tip when you are ready to leave. If it happens again and it bothers you, by all means report it.

I think I see what's happening here. The server aspires to one day become a blackjack dealer and is honing her tip hustling skills so she'll fit right in when the big day comes.
Many people, especially ignorant people, want to punish you for speaking the truth. - Mahatma Ghandi
Scooter77
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September 11th, 2014 at 4:54:29 AM permalink
I've worked as a server and as a dealer.
From either POV, the OP's story makes the server very, very wrong.

In many restaurants, if you serve (or mostly serve) a table and your shift is over, you can transfer a table to the next server in order to let you punch out and leave work.

Sometimes the next server will pay you a percentage of the bill and then finish service (more descriptive of non-buffets, but still relevant), hoping that both the original and finishing server make some money and work as a team.

Sometimes, the exiting server is happy to leave without waiting to settle all the bills/tables and will walk away turning over any tips to the finishing server (who might return the favor on another occasion where the timing is reversed).

In some restaurants, there might be a policy related to sharing tips from 'crossover' tables that staff (mostly) follow, but it's likely to be similar to what I described above. If the servers work together with any frequency, an equilibrium should develop that works for everyone WITHOUT SOLICITING TIPS.

Whether you deal or serve food/drinks, hustling with the tone described by the OP should be a termination on the spot.
Dieter
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September 11th, 2014 at 5:51:51 AM permalink
Quote: kewlj

Quote: chickenman

there were three of you? Just hand her 3 bucks and get on with life


I did exactly what your small print (not sure the significance of that) indicated. But honestly, if I had an extra minute to think about it I wouldn't have done it that way.



$1/drink is reasonable for prompt service. It sounds like that's exactly all she did.
May the cards fall in your favor.
DJTeddyBear
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September 11th, 2014 at 6:08:06 AM permalink
Quote: kewlj

Admittedly, I am too lazy to go through and find one of the old tipping threads, but want to share this experience that happened yesterday at one of the local casino buffets.


This is not about tipping per se, but how to react to terrible / unprofessional service. That's a new topic therefore a new thread is fine. Even preferred.


I would have asked for refills. Nothing else except comments to the manager.
I invented a few casino games. Info: http://www.DaveMillerGaming.com/ ————————————————————————————————————— Superstitions are silly, childish, irrational rituals, born out of fear of the unknown. But how much does it cost to knock on wood? 😁
Romes
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September 11th, 2014 at 7:08:21 AM permalink
I had almost the exact same situation arise a couple years back... and did the exact same thing it appears you did. I just 'split' the tip between the two. In hind sight I was a bit upset about it though and wished I had said something to a manager. There's no way asking for tips can be in their code of conduct. I am a very good tipper, and an 'okay' tipper at the tables (when the count is big =D), but if there's anything that will make me immediately not want to tip, it's asking or berating for tips.
Playing it correctly means you've already won.
Paigowdan
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September 11th, 2014 at 8:31:41 AM permalink
The key to getting tips:
1. Never ask for tips.
2. Never worry about your tips, or even think about it.
3. Focus on your job and think about your job and the tips will come.
4. Always thank the person if possible.

THAT simple. It's a Zen process.

If she didn't make her tips by the end of her shift then asking for them on the last two or three people will NOT help.
Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes - Henry David Thoreau. Like Dealers' uniforms - Dan.
Boz
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September 11th, 2014 at 8:39:43 AM permalink
Quote: Paigowdan

The key to getting tips:
1. Never ask for tips.
2. Never worry about your tips, or even think about it.
3. Focus on your job and think about your job and the tips will come.
4. Always thank the person if possible.

THAT simple. It's a Zen process.

If she didn't make her tips by the end of her shift then asking for them on the last two or three people will NOT help.




For one of the few times I agree with you and you said it perfectly.

As some of you know I own a bar/ restaurant and my employees know they would not last pulling something like this. They stay, naturally on the clock until every table they started is finished. We stagger shifts so someone usually doesn't take a new table in their last 30 minutes.
kewlj
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September 11th, 2014 at 8:51:11 AM permalink
Quote: Boz

For one of the few times I agree with you and you said it perfectly.

As some of you know I own a bar/ restaurant and my employees know they would not last pulling something like this. They stay, naturally on the clock until every table they started is finished. We stagger shifts so someone usually doesn't take a new table in their last 30 minutes.



In defense of the server in this situation, I believe for buffet servers it is more common to leave at a certain time, when your relief comes on and takes over that section. I only think this because I have started meals with one server a number of times before and ended with another. I have just never had anyone ask for their tip before.
MrV
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September 11th, 2014 at 8:57:36 AM permalink
Quote: kewlj

So at 3pm, she approaches and says, "I am leaving, do you have anything for me".



tip
"What, me worry?"
chickenman
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September 11th, 2014 at 9:13:11 AM permalink
A classic.
ontariodealer
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September 11th, 2014 at 9:40:36 AM permalink
'will you be leaving a tip sir'

"plant your corn early this year"

jed clampett
get second you pig
AxelWolf
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September 11th, 2014 at 10:49:46 AM permalink
Quote: Paigowdan

The key to getting tips:
1. Never ask for tips.
2. Never worry about your tips, or even think about it.
3. Focus on your job and think about your job and the tips will come.
4. Always thank the person if possible.

+1 if casino dealers all had this attitude they would be happy campers.
♪♪Now you swear and kick and beg us That you're not a gamblin' man Then you find you're back in Vegas With a handle in your hand♪♪ Your black cards can make you money So you hide them when you're able In the land of casinos and money You must put them on the table♪♪ You go back Jack do it again roulette wheels turinin' 'round and 'round♪♪ You go back Jack do it again♪♪
Paigowdan
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September 11th, 2014 at 11:07:43 AM permalink
Quote: AxelWolf

+1 if casino dealers all had this attitude they would be happy campers.



True. Dealers bitching and moaning about cheapskates in the break room was a downer, did NO one any good. I never sweated the tips. I'd see a whole table win the Fire bet, and one guy color up $7,532, - and throw in the $2 and say "for the boys!" and another win $575 and throw in the $75. One crap dealer was such a moaner about tips we'd get complaints about his attitude, and from then on he was assigned a low-roller BJ pitch game until he left; he was lucky we didn't have a Big 6 wheel.

The money wasn't the issue, and shouldn't be. It all balances out, AND balances out better if we just do our jobs not worrying. What really can get to dealers are the examples of humanity often seen at the gambling tables. ("What??!! We chiseling, shot-taking gamblers are a freakin' TREAT for you guys, fuggetabout it.")
Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes - Henry David Thoreau. Like Dealers' uniforms - Dan.
beachbumbabs
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September 11th, 2014 at 8:05:15 PM permalink
re: the OP. Really not ok for her to do that. The only acceptable way to deal with that is, "Hi, my shift is ending, and your server will be (point at other person, probably across the room, if they're in sight, and say their name). Is there anything else I can get you before I go?" While reaching for those dirty dishes, at least a load's worth. The customer has the opportunity to take care of the tip then, or ask how it's to be handled (and subsequently tip). Or not tip right then, too bad if the waitress doesn't have a deal worked out with her relief (most places have a way of dealing with this, which happens all the time, and genuinely should not involve the customer anyway.)

Very poor manners.
If the House lost every hand, they wouldn't deal the game.
Rigondeaux
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September 11th, 2014 at 11:17:54 PM permalink
I think it's inappropriate but think management is almost certainly to blame. Obviously, there isn't a real good system in place for tips that occur during shift changes. Maybe the lady on the shift before hers started doing this, now this lady is in a position where she's pressured to do the same.

Basically, you're talking about someone who doesn't make much money. At some point, it became evident to her that she can make an extra $10 a day (let's say), by doing this. If you're in this spot, particularly if you have a family, you are probably just going to cave in and ask for tips. "Sorry you can't have what you wanted for Christmas kids, but I don't believe servers should ask for tips." Come on. Nobody is going that route.

Management created a situation in which it's profitable to do this and allows it to happen, so it's probably just rational behavior for her.
DrawingDead
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September 12th, 2014 at 1:48:07 AM permalink
Quote: beachbumbabs

The only acceptable way to deal with that is, "Hi, my shift is ending, and your server will be (point at other person, probably across the room, if they're in sight, and say their name). Is there anything else I can get you before I go?"

Good. I appreciate this. For about the same reason I appreciate "thank you" when I slide a toke across the table, which is not because I want to get some kind of emotional satisfaction from an expression of gratitude (I really don't care about that) but because a dependable consistent verbal confirmation of where we're at before moving on, whether to next hand or next shift, is information I use. Done right, it simply provides me with a voluntary opportunity preventing me from defaulting to an accidental choice.

Though I did know one fellow who use to always respond to the question "did I forget you?" with "it never hurts to be sure." He was kind of an angle-shooting weasel when he was sitting on the other side of the table as a player, too. And not very good at that either. But there's always going to be one foul squishy berry in every bunch.
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rsactuary
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September 12th, 2014 at 2:35:53 AM permalink
In the same vein, but kind of different topic....

I valet parked my car tonight and the valet guy hands me my tag and says "you can tip me on the way out".

Oh can I?
chickenman
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September 12th, 2014 at 2:56:57 AM permalink
Quote: rsactuary

In the same vein, but kind of different topic....

I valet parked my car tonight and the valet guy hands me my tag and says "you can tip me on the way out".

Oh can I?

So now you know the protocol at that joint :)
1BB
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September 12th, 2014 at 3:14:44 AM permalink
Quote: rsactuary

In the same vein, but kind of different topic....

I valet parked my car tonight and the valet guy hands me my tag and says "you can tip me on the way out".

Oh can I?



Only you were there. From his tone, was he trying to be helpful or was he hustling? Tipping can be awkward for many people including the giver and the receiver.
Many people, especially ignorant people, want to punish you for speaking the truth. - Mahatma Ghandi
VCUSkyhawk
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September 12th, 2014 at 3:37:32 AM permalink
Quote: rsactuary

In the same vein, but kind of different topic....

I valet parked my car tonight and the valet guy hands me my tag and says "you can tip me on the way out".

Oh can I?



I wouldn't find this quite as rude. I am never sure to tip then or when I pick up. If you don't do it often one may not know.
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Rigondeaux
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September 12th, 2014 at 8:09:02 AM permalink
Quote: DrawingDead

Good. I appreciate this. For about the same reason I appreciate "thank you" when I slide a toke across the table, which is not because I want to get some kind of emotional satisfaction from an expression of gratitude (I really don't care about that) but because a dependable consistent verbal confirmation of where we're at before moving on, whether to next hand or next shift, is information I use. Done right, it simply provides me with a voluntary opportunity preventing me from defaulting to an accidental choice.

Though I did know one fellow who use to always respond to the question "did I forget you?" with "it never hurts to be sure." He was kind of an angle-shooting weasel when he was sitting on the other side of the table as a player, too. And not very good at that either. But there's always going to be one foul squishy berry in every bunch.



Yeah, I'm the same way. Especially if my head is still stuck in the hand, which it usually is, it's easy to forget. Oftentimes, when I think, "shit, did I tip?" the "thank you" is what I remember.
Nareed
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September 12th, 2014 at 8:18:08 AM permalink
At a table, tips should be handled the way the Victorians did sex. That is, never mention it, but talk about it sideways.

So the proper way to ask for a tip in the middle of a meal is to come to the table with your relief and say "Are you finding everything ok? My shift's over, but my coworker here will take care of you. Thank you."
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MrV
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September 12th, 2014 at 8:30:09 AM permalink
Tipping scene
"What, me worry?"
DJTeddyBear
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September 12th, 2014 at 8:50:53 AM permalink
Quote: Nareed

So the proper way to ask for a tip in the middle of a meal is to come to the table with your relief and say "Are you finding everything ok? My shift's over, but my coworker here will take care of you. Thank you."


The problem with that is, it should have been obvious that things were NOT OK. There were drinks that needed to be refilled, and empty buffet plates that needed to be cleared.

Clearly those items should have been taken care of BEFORE any mention of the shift switch.
I invented a few casino games. Info: http://www.DaveMillerGaming.com/ ————————————————————————————————————— Superstitions are silly, childish, irrational rituals, born out of fear of the unknown. But how much does it cost to knock on wood? 😁
OnceDear
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September 12th, 2014 at 8:52:22 AM permalink
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MrQwN8JorDk


1:16 and 1:52 :)
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chickenman
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September 12th, 2014 at 9:18:37 AM permalink
Quote: Nareed

the way the Victorians did sex.

The Victorians didn't do sex. That's the reason there is none of them around now :-)
Dieter
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September 12th, 2014 at 10:46:19 AM permalink
Quote: chickenman

The Victorians didn't do sex. That's the reason there is none of them around now :-)



Sex is hereditary. If your parents didn't have it, you probably won't either.
May the cards fall in your favor.
chickenman
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September 12th, 2014 at 10:47:44 AM permalink
Quote: Dieter

Sex is hereditary. If your parents didn't have it, you probably won't either.

Good one!
rudeboyoi
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September 13th, 2014 at 8:07:58 PM permalink
I had what might be an unusual tipping experience yesterday. I was playing pool and it was $6/hr but I guess they prorate it cause when I went to pay and get my license back she told me it was $4.80. I give her $6 and got back my ID and a receipt. I intended to tip $1 but no words were exchanged. From her POV should she give me back nothing, 20cents, or $1.20 when no words are exchanged. Again it costs $6/hr and handed her $6. What if i just didn't hear her say $4.80 and i thought it was $6.
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