Adult jokes here:
July 13th, 2012 at 9:39:20 PM
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A couple are busted out broke and for far to long. The wife is in tears fearing that they may end up tossed into the street.
After many tears the wife knows how she can bring some money into the household to get some relief & pay rent and valiantly says to her husband
"honey we have to do something --Oh my god I hope you'll forgive me for this but you know, I'm good looking enough to turn tricks and we really are in trouble here." Honey I know it is wrong but I cannot see you suffer anymore...what do you think?"
husband: Oh my god hon I couldn't let you do that.
Wife; If we end up in the street I'll have to do it anyway? There are no jobs no opportunities what else can we do?
Husband: Argg.. well I guess you're right but what about your safety hon I'm afraid {now crying }
Wife: 'well you could help me there -- by staying 50 yards or so behind in our car and if something were to go wrong I could signal you and you coud drive up and stop the guy from hurting me.'
Husband: well it's better than being evicted. Oh hon you're right we have too.
After finding her sexiest outfit...
Husband: how much are we going to charge dear what do you think?
Wife : well I figure 25 for a HJ....50 for a BJ and 100 for a nice long F***. What do you think- OK?
Husband: Ya,Ya,Ya that's good.
The first night.. They drive out for the hook the husband drops his wife on the corner turns around and drives back 50 yards or so.
The first john pulls up the window is open and says How much dear?
Wife: 25 for hj 50 for bj and 100 for a nice long f***
john: get in {wife enter the johns car}
john: well I guess I'll just have a hj cause all I have is 25.
The john takes off his pants and the wife cannot believe what she sees..7,8,9 inches and growing each millisecond
the wife is obviously in turmoil and she seemingly panics and says to the john
"Look I promise to take care of you but you have to excuse me for a few minutes I-Itht-Ill be right back I promise please and jumps out of the johns car...
running back to her husband-- the husband is concerned --and when she gets to the car throws open the door...
honey you gotta lend this guy 75bucks!!!!!!!
After many tears the wife knows how she can bring some money into the household to get some relief & pay rent and valiantly says to her husband
"honey we have to do something --Oh my god I hope you'll forgive me for this but you know, I'm good looking enough to turn tricks and we really are in trouble here." Honey I know it is wrong but I cannot see you suffer anymore...what do you think?"
husband: Oh my god hon I couldn't let you do that.
Wife; If we end up in the street I'll have to do it anyway? There are no jobs no opportunities what else can we do?
Husband: Argg.. well I guess you're right but what about your safety hon I'm afraid {now crying }
Wife: 'well you could help me there -- by staying 50 yards or so behind in our car and if something were to go wrong I could signal you and you coud drive up and stop the guy from hurting me.'
Husband: well it's better than being evicted. Oh hon you're right we have too.
After finding her sexiest outfit...
Husband: how much are we going to charge dear what do you think?
Wife : well I figure 25 for a HJ....50 for a BJ and 100 for a nice long F***. What do you think- OK?
Husband: Ya,Ya,Ya that's good.
The first night.. They drive out for the hook the husband drops his wife on the corner turns around and drives back 50 yards or so.
The first john pulls up the window is open and says How much dear?
Wife: 25 for hj 50 for bj and 100 for a nice long f***
john: get in {wife enter the johns car}
john: well I guess I'll just have a hj cause all I have is 25.
The john takes off his pants and the wife cannot believe what she sees..7,8,9 inches and growing each millisecond
the wife is obviously in turmoil and she seemingly panics and says to the john
"Look I promise to take care of you but you have to excuse me for a few minutes I-Itht-Ill be right back I promise please and jumps out of the johns car...
running back to her husband-- the husband is concerned --and when she gets to the car throws open the door...
honey you gotta lend this guy 75bucks!!!!!!!
July 13th, 2012 at 11:51:48 PM
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Husband: Honey, you wanna play the Rape Game tonight?
Wife: No!
Husband: That's the spirit!
Wife: No!
Husband: That's the spirit!
"Poker sure is an easy game to beat if you have the roll to keep rebuying."
July 14th, 2012 at 2:36:56 AM
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Quote: zippyboyHusband: Honey, you wanna play the Rape Game tonight?
Wife: No!
Husband: That's the spirit!
Am I terrible person for cracking up at this?
July 14th, 2012 at 6:25:16 AM
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With a British twist:
- A man walks into a bar, late one night completely knackered and dripping with sweat and orders 5 whiskies.
- "What's wrong with you?" The barman says.
- "In my car I've got a nymphomaniac - you couldn't satisfy her if you were there 'til Christmas," he replies.
- "We'll see about that," says the barman and goes out to the car park.
- He has been in the car with the woman for a while when there is a knock on the window and a policeman shines his torch in.
- The barman jumps up and winds down the window to talk to the policeman.
- "It's all right officer, I'm just shagging the wife," he says.
- "Oh, I'm sorry sir, I didn't know it was your wife" replies the cop.
- The barman replies -"Neither did I 'til you shone your torch!"
July 14th, 2012 at 6:32:02 AM
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A man walks onto an airplane and takes his seat. He looks up and notices the most beautiful woman he has ever seen boarding the plane. He is nervous, and soon realizes that she is walking down the aisle toward him. When she takes the seat right next to him, he is anxious to begin a conversation. He asks, "Where are you flying to today?"
She responds, "To the Annual Nymphomaniac Convention in Chicago." His mind reeling, he asks, "And what do you do at this meeting?"
"Well," she says, "We try to dissolve some of the popular myths about sexuality."
"And what myths are those?" he continues, choking back his excitement.
She explains, "Well, one popular myth is that African American men are the most well endowed, when in fact, it is the Native American man who owns this trait. Also, it is widely believed that the Frenchman is the best lover, when actually it is men of Jewish decent who make the best lovers."
"Very interesting..." the man responds.
Suddenly, the woman becomes very embarrassed and blushes. "I'm sorry," she says, "I just feel so awkward discussing this with you when I don't even know you! What is your name?"
The man extends his hand and replies, "Tonto........Tonto Goldstein."
She responds, "To the Annual Nymphomaniac Convention in Chicago." His mind reeling, he asks, "And what do you do at this meeting?"
"Well," she says, "We try to dissolve some of the popular myths about sexuality."
"And what myths are those?" he continues, choking back his excitement.
She explains, "Well, one popular myth is that African American men are the most well endowed, when in fact, it is the Native American man who owns this trait. Also, it is widely believed that the Frenchman is the best lover, when actually it is men of Jewish decent who make the best lovers."
"Very interesting..." the man responds.
Suddenly, the woman becomes very embarrassed and blushes. "I'm sorry," she says, "I just feel so awkward discussing this with you when I don't even know you! What is your name?"
The man extends his hand and replies, "Tonto........Tonto Goldstein."
July 14th, 2012 at 11:56:40 AM
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Quote: ewjones080Am I terrible person for cracking up at this?
+1
July 14th, 2012 at 1:25:45 PM
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Quote: pacomartinA man walks onto an airplane and takes his seat. He looks up and notices the most beautiful woman he has ever seen boarding the plane. He is nervous, and soon realizes that she is walking down the aisle toward him. When she takes the seat right next to him, he is anxious to begin a conversation. He asks, "Where are you flying to today?"
She responds, "To the Annual Nymphomaniac Convention in Chicago." His mind reeling, he asks, "And what do you do at this meeting?"
"Well," she says, "We try to dissolve some of the popular myths about sexuality."
"And what myths are those?" he continues, choking back his excitement.
She explains, "Well, one popular myth is that African American men are the most well endowed, when in fact, it is the Native American man who owns this trait. Also, it is widely believed that the Frenchman is the best lover, when actually it is men of Jewish decent who make the best lovers."
"Very interesting..." the man responds.
Suddenly, the woman becomes very embarrassed and blushes. "I'm sorry," she says, "I just feel so awkward discussing this with you when I don't even know you! What is your name?"
The man extends his hand and replies, "Tonto........Tonto Goldstein."
Steven Wright told a version of that joke in the '80. 'Cept the punch was Bucky Goldstein. Still hilarious.
Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes." ~ William Gibson
July 14th, 2012 at 1:26:50 PM
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Quote: SACR+1
+ 2
July 14th, 2012 at 1:32:53 PM
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A man dies, and unfortunately, finds himself in Hell. He is very distraught about his fate. Then out of nowhere, The Devil himself walks up and asks the man why he is so forlorn.
The man states that he thought he had lived a good life, and was sure that he would be in Heaven.
The Devil tells the man that it ain't so bad.
Devil: Do you like playing golf?
Man: Why yes, I love it!
Devil: Good news! Mondays are golf day! We have recreated all of the great courses up on Earth. Pebble Beach, Sawgrass, Augusta National, you name it...we have it!
Man: Wow! That sounds great!
Devil: And how about gambling? You like gambling?
Man: Of course!!!
Devil: More good news! Tuesdays are gambling days! We have blackjack, slots, roulette, craps, poker, keno, horses, dogs....what ever you like!
Man: Incredible!
Devil: How about drinking? Wednesdays are alcohol day! We have all of the finest liquors ever produced by man....and confidentially, some that he never even thought of!
Man: That is wonderful...you know, this might not be so bad after all!
Devil: See, told you that it wouldn't be so bad....Incidentally, how do feel about anal sex?
Man: Meh....don't really care for it all that much...
Devil: Hmmmm.......Thursday are gonna be tough on you.....
The man states that he thought he had lived a good life, and was sure that he would be in Heaven.
The Devil tells the man that it ain't so bad.
Devil: Do you like playing golf?
Man: Why yes, I love it!
Devil: Good news! Mondays are golf day! We have recreated all of the great courses up on Earth. Pebble Beach, Sawgrass, Augusta National, you name it...we have it!
Man: Wow! That sounds great!
Devil: And how about gambling? You like gambling?
Man: Of course!!!
Devil: More good news! Tuesdays are gambling days! We have blackjack, slots, roulette, craps, poker, keno, horses, dogs....what ever you like!
Man: Incredible!
Devil: How about drinking? Wednesdays are alcohol day! We have all of the finest liquors ever produced by man....and confidentially, some that he never even thought of!
Man: That is wonderful...you know, this might not be so bad after all!
Devil: See, told you that it wouldn't be so bad....Incidentally, how do feel about anal sex?
Man: Meh....don't really care for it all that much...
Devil: Hmmmm.......Thursday are gonna be tough on you.....
Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes." ~ William Gibson
July 25th, 2012 at 4:21:55 AM
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This is a joke about two talk show hosts. Ricky Lake and Ellen DeGeneres (lesbian)
A guy told his friend that Ellen DeGeneres died. His friend said NO! He told him she drowned. His friend said NO!! He said, they found her face down in Ricky Lake.
A guy told his friend that Ellen DeGeneres died. His friend said NO! He told him she drowned. His friend said NO!! He said, they found her face down in Ricky Lake.
July 25th, 2012 at 6:33:56 AM
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Quote: avargovSteven Wright told a version of that joke in the '80. 'Cept the punch was Bucky Goldstein. Still hilarious.
August 15th, 2012 at 12:11:52 PM
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Since poetry (or bad poetry) appears to be the theme of the day:
Don't make special bets in Nantucket
But if you do
I'll give you a clue
The donkey has herpes
Don't ---- it.
Don't make special bets in Nantucket
But if you do
I'll give you a clue
The donkey has herpes
Don't ---- it.
Sanitized for Your Protection
July 22nd, 2013 at 6:54:01 AM
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Why do we still have no smoking signs? Just about everywhere laws have been passed that has made smoking in public building and some areas illegal. Do we need signs that remind us of the law and what we can and cannot do? If this is the case, how come I've never seen a no masterbating sign in elevators?
What's the difference between a slut and a nice girl?
When a slut has a cock up her ass she thinks what would be better is 2 cocks up her ass.
When a nice girl has a cock up her ass she thinks that it's not that bad and hope he's enjoying his birthday.
What's the difference between a slut and a stud?
A slut just needs to be there and a stud just has to have an imaginary job.
What's the difference between a slut and a nice girl?
When a slut has a cock up her ass she thinks what would be better is 2 cocks up her ass.
When a nice girl has a cock up her ass she thinks that it's not that bad and hope he's enjoying his birthday.
What's the difference between a slut and a stud?
A slut just needs to be there and a stud just has to have an imaginary job.
Buffering...
July 22nd, 2013 at 6:46:43 PM
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Quote: ewjones080Am I terrible person for cracking up at this?
Yes. Yes, we are.
July 22nd, 2013 at 7:27:01 PM
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http://themogh.org/cg_chip2.php?id=COCCGH
mmhmm...
mmhmm...
"So as the clock ticked and the day passed, opportunity met preparation, and luck happened." - Maurice Clarett
July 22nd, 2013 at 7:40:55 PM
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Quote: rdw4potushttp://themogh.org/cg_chip2.php?id=COCCGH
mmhmm...
So, Harrah's didn't carry on the name?
Quote:Harrah's, the casino unit of the Promus Companies, said yesterday that it planned to buy a 20 percent stake in the Glory Hole Casino in Central City, Colo., from Central City Gaming Investors L.P., for undisclosed terms. The agreement would mark Harrah's entry into the Colorado limited-stakes gaming market, subject to state regulatory approval and the issuance of a Colorado gaming license. Harrah's plans to manage the Glory Hole Casino under the Harrah's name. The Glory Hole Casino is one of
http://www.nytimes.com/top/reference/timestopics/subjects/g/gambling/index.html?query=GLORY%20HOLE%20CASINO&field=org&match=exact
Sanitized for Your Protection
July 22nd, 2013 at 8:19:16 PM
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Starting similarly to the first joke....
A man and his wife are absolutely broke. Jobs of any sort are not available. Finally, tearfully, they talk it through and agree that the best they can do is for the wife to walk the streets. She sets out reluctantly, many hugs and assurances of love between them.
Many hours later, the wife climbs the stairs to their apartment, exhausted. Her husband sees her coming, opens the door for her, places her gently on the couch and begins to rub her feet.
"Oh, darling, I've been so worried! Are you all right?"
"Yes, I'm fine; a bit tired, though."
"Well, did you make any money?"
"Yes, I did! I made $36.25!"
"That's great, darling! But, who gave you the quarter?"
"Why, all of them, of course."
A man and his wife are absolutely broke. Jobs of any sort are not available. Finally, tearfully, they talk it through and agree that the best they can do is for the wife to walk the streets. She sets out reluctantly, many hugs and assurances of love between them.
Many hours later, the wife climbs the stairs to their apartment, exhausted. Her husband sees her coming, opens the door for her, places her gently on the couch and begins to rub her feet.
"Oh, darling, I've been so worried! Are you all right?"
"Yes, I'm fine; a bit tired, though."
"Well, did you make any money?"
"Yes, I did! I made $36.25!"
"That's great, darling! But, who gave you the quarter?"
"Why, all of them, of course."
If the House lost every hand, they wouldn't deal the game.
November 5th, 2013 at 10:29:37 PM
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I love walking through the casino listening to all the sounds.
The "ding ding ding" of someone getting a winning slot machine win.
The "whoop" of the video poker machines.
And of course the "fuck!" coming from the blackjack table.
Vegas is cool. There is much you have to worry about doing.
Well, you might want to worry about waking up next to a sheep.
Or if there a condom hanging out of your ass.
You don't really have to worry about people drinking beer or those fruity tropical drinks.
It's the guy in the back corner drinking that brown whiskey that you ought to avoid.
Welcome to Vegas. Does anyone have any money left?
If praying worked' there would be some dark room in the Casio filled with priests, rabbis and Budist Monks and saying, "give that bitch a three."
"Oh' Lord."
The "ding ding ding" of someone getting a winning slot machine win.
The "whoop" of the video poker machines.
And of course the "fuck!" coming from the blackjack table.
Vegas is cool. There is much you have to worry about doing.
Well, you might want to worry about waking up next to a sheep.
Or if there a condom hanging out of your ass.
You don't really have to worry about people drinking beer or those fruity tropical drinks.
It's the guy in the back corner drinking that brown whiskey that you ought to avoid.
Welcome to Vegas. Does anyone have any money left?
If praying worked' there would be some dark room in the Casio filled with priests, rabbis and Budist Monks and saying, "give that bitch a three."
"Oh' Lord."
Buffering...
November 5th, 2013 at 11:29:49 PM
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Two men work in a mortuary. One says to another, "You should see that woman they brought in today. She'd been in the water for a week. Her clit was like a pickle." "Ew!" says the other fellow. "It was green?" "No, it was sour!"
get second you pig
November 5th, 2013 at 11:32:06 PM
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Q: What is better than winning a medal at the Para-olympics? A: Having two legs.
get second you pig
November 6th, 2013 at 12:07:05 AM
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A husband was on the rocks with his wife but wanted to make things right with her so he agreed to get whatever she asked for.
The wife said "I want something that sparkles when I wear it so I can look nice out on the town".
The husband went out and bought a beautiful diamond ring for her.
Still not happy the wife says "I want something that will help me smell good when it meet up with my girlfriends".
The husband went out and bought her the most luxurious and expensive perfumes he could find.
The wife still wasn't happy and said "I want something that will take me from 0-200 in 5 seconds."
The following morning, the husband goes to his wife and says that he got what she asked for and it is waiting for her in the driveway.
Excited the wife runs out to the to see her present.
Sitting in the driveway is a bathroom scale.
The wife said "I want something that sparkles when I wear it so I can look nice out on the town".
The husband went out and bought a beautiful diamond ring for her.
Still not happy the wife says "I want something that will help me smell good when it meet up with my girlfriends".
The husband went out and bought her the most luxurious and expensive perfumes he could find.
The wife still wasn't happy and said "I want something that will take me from 0-200 in 5 seconds."
The following morning, the husband goes to his wife and says that he got what she asked for and it is waiting for her in the driveway.
Excited the wife runs out to the to see her present.
Sitting in the driveway is a bathroom scale.
November 6th, 2013 at 2:09:28 AM
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Glory Hole is not just a term from the Continental Baths, ... its a mining term relating to impending disaster and so perhaps its an apt name for a casino.
November 6th, 2013 at 4:03:39 PM
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This is a true story:
I was working in Silicon Valley at a tech start up during the Dot Com Boom. I was in sales technical support and the sales guys were making BIG bucks most in the $400,000+/yr range. Some made several million in stock options after the first year. They were young and living the good life. My buddy was late 20's and worked out of his house in the Midwest. He was married with two kids and not like most of the sales guys in the Bay Area that loved to party and throw money around. One night they went to a strip club in San Francisco. He wanted a lap dance and the "dancer" took him in the back room for a private "dance" and handed him a menu of "services". Prices ranged from $200 for oral sex to $800 for intercourse. He looked at her and said $200 for head? She said "Yeah and you have to wear a condom." He said "For $200 my wife will blow me so I'll just take the lap dance."
One of the sales guys that was a big partier spent about 3 grand that night and doesn't remember what he got for his money!
I was working in Silicon Valley at a tech start up during the Dot Com Boom. I was in sales technical support and the sales guys were making BIG bucks most in the $400,000+/yr range. Some made several million in stock options after the first year. They were young and living the good life. My buddy was late 20's and worked out of his house in the Midwest. He was married with two kids and not like most of the sales guys in the Bay Area that loved to party and throw money around. One night they went to a strip club in San Francisco. He wanted a lap dance and the "dancer" took him in the back room for a private "dance" and handed him a menu of "services". Prices ranged from $200 for oral sex to $800 for intercourse. He looked at her and said $200 for head? She said "Yeah and you have to wear a condom." He said "For $200 my wife will blow me so I'll just take the lap dance."
One of the sales guys that was a big partier spent about 3 grand that night and doesn't remember what he got for his money!
November 6th, 2013 at 4:12:44 PM
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Quote: ontariodealerTwo men work in a mortuary. One says to another, "You should see that woman they brought in today. She'd been in the water for a week. Her clit was like a pickle." "Ew!" says the other fellow. "It was green?" "No, it was sour!"
that is really disgustingly funny...still laughing....
If the House lost every hand, they wouldn't deal the game.
December 6th, 2013 at 12:24:02 PM
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Buffering...
December 7th, 2013 at 10:10:31 AM
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A family walks into a talent agent's office.
Dad: Hi, we're --
Talent agent: GET OUT! NOW!
Dad: Hi, we're --
Talent agent: GET OUT! NOW!
December 7th, 2013 at 1:40:49 PM
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A catholic Priest and a Jewish rabbi are hanging out at the park. A little boy walks by and the Priest says to the Rabbi, Wanna fuck him? The Rabbi replies, Out of what?
♪♪Now you swear and kick and beg us That you're not a gamblin' man Then you find you're back in Vegas With a handle in your hand♪♪ Your black cards can make you money So you hide them when you're able In the land of casinos and money You must put them on the table♪♪ You go back Jack do it again roulette wheels turinin' 'round and 'round♪♪ You go back Jack do it again♪♪
December 7th, 2013 at 4:23:53 PM
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'splain please.
December 7th, 2013 at 4:51:05 PM
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Priests are pedophiles, Jews want to get people's money. It's pure poetry.Quote: FleaStiff'splain please.
Climate Casino: https://climatecasino.net/climate-casino/
December 7th, 2013 at 5:00:34 PM
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Quote: teliotJews want to get people's money.
Really?
And you know this HOW?
"What, me worry?"
December 7th, 2013 at 5:06:07 PM
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Quote: MrVReally?
And you know this HOW?
common knowledge?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stereotypes_of_Jews
casino's money disappears
the execs worry when the wizard is near
He turns tears into joy
Everyone's happy when the wizard walks by
December 7th, 2013 at 8:22:44 PM
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Quote: noy2222A family walks into a talent agent's office.
Dad: Hi, we're --
Talent agent: GET OUT! NOW!
Sorry about that. THIS is the one that I hit Reply to for my 'splain message.
I actually like the literal Catholic versus the figurative Jew joke.
December 7th, 2013 at 8:37:23 PM
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January 8th, 2014 at 5:20:08 PM
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A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath.
“Nurse,”‘ he mumbles from behind the mask, “are my testicles black?”
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, “I don’t know, Sir. I’m only here to wash your upper body and feet.”
He struggles to ask again, “Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?”
Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles in the other.
She looks very closely and says, “There’s nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine.”
The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly, “Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very closely: Are – my – test – results – back?”
“Nurse,”‘ he mumbles from behind the mask, “are my testicles black?”
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, “I don’t know, Sir. I’m only here to wash your upper body and feet.”
He struggles to ask again, “Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?”
Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles in the other.
She looks very closely and says, “There’s nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine.”
The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly, “Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very closely: Are – my – test – results – back?”
January 8th, 2014 at 5:24:41 PM
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January 8th, 2014 at 5:25:04 PM
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January 8th, 2014 at 5:25:37 PM
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January 9th, 2014 at 11:21:34 PM
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What does Coors light and sex in a canoe have in common?
They're both fucking close to water. /rimshot
They're both fucking close to water. /rimshot
The opinions of this moderator are for entertainment purposes only.
January 9th, 2014 at 11:37:37 PM
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A guy goes to the pub, and says to his friend "You won't believe what happened. I was taking a short cut along the railway track, and I found a girl tied to it. I untied her, and then we had sex over and over again, all the positions, everything.
His friend replies, "That's great: did you get a blow job?"
Oh, no: I never found her head.
His friend replies, "That's great: did you get a blow job?"
Oh, no: I never found her head.
get second you pig
January 16th, 2014 at 4:47:26 AM
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A game of cards is just like sex. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
Reperiet qui quaesiverit
January 17th, 2014 at 4:08:59 PM
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Q.......Do you smoke after sex.
A.......I don't know, I've never looked.
A.......I don't know, I've never looked.
Each day is better than the next
January 17th, 2014 at 4:19:12 PM
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As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."
She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".
She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".
get second you pig
January 17th, 2014 at 4:30:06 PM
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Quote: ontariodealerAs an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."
She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".
That's awesome!
DUHHIIIIIIIII HEARD THAT!
January 17th, 2014 at 4:42:20 PM
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Reminds me of the following one:Quote: ontariodealerA man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".
A married couple is making love. The lady is eager to put more spice in it, so she asks: "Ooh! Tell me dirty things!"
After a moment of hesitation, the guy answers: "Well, the kitchen, the bathroom, the bedroom,..."
Reperiet qui quaesiverit
January 17th, 2014 at 6:20:13 PM
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Quote: ontariodealerAs an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."
She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".
LOL
"Man Babes" #AxelFabulous
January 17th, 2014 at 7:19:30 PM
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I got another good one but i don't know if I am allowed to use the word **** here.
get second you pig
January 17th, 2014 at 7:22:45 PM
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Quote: ontariodealerI got another good one but i don't know if I am allowed to use the word **** here.
Too late, you did.
DUHHIIIIIIIII HEARD THAT!
January 18th, 2014 at 6:31:19 AM
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Okay, that's all cleaned up, it'd better be a really good joke if it requires that word! If not, I'll censor it out again...
https://wizardofvegas.com/forum/off-topic/gripes/11182-pet-peeves/120/#post815219
