Cruise Blues

So, we were comped on a Celebrity cruise over Thanksgiving. Nice comp – balcony room, $400 in free play (which played into $275 real money), drink package and a special dining night. Total cost for port fees and taxes was just over $200. Of course, the pressure was on to gamble.

Went to the casino the first day to see they had a bank of video poker machines, about 12-15 in a row, and the another three tucked in a corner.

The main bank was all single line. Jacks or Better was a 6-5 game – not to be outdone by even worse payouts like the Deuces Wild game (800-200-20-10-8-4-3-3-2-1 giving 93.37%). The three multiline machines had 3- and 5-line games with the same pay tables as the single line bank. They also had the lowest payout Ultimate X games IGT makes. We’ve been on many cruise lines and the Video Poker pay tables are usually bad, but not this bad.

So we gritted our teeth and started playing. It would have been simpler to just write a check. Money was draining at a good clip. By the third day we were down about $3,000. Finally my wife yelled uncle and sought-out a penny slot machine.

Fortunately she hit two $500 outcomes followed by a $5,100 jackpot. Ultimate-X vulturing brought in another $400. So we returned up.

Officially, we won’t be seeing any further comps.

Why play at all? If the cruise and comps are already complete... and in the end you're not going to be getting comped anymore anyways... then F them for having such AWFUL games and just don't play at all and enjoy your cruise?

Funny enough I was also on a cruise during Thanksgiving week, and similarly their VP was awful. The best thing we found was 9/6 DB for a whopping 98% return (way better than the other games you described though, like the 93% deuces). At least their table games had fairly standard rules and pay tables. Similarly we were comped from previous casino play as well... though we NEVER felt we "had" to play on the boat for a second; we were there to vacation.

I have a cruise scheduled next month but I only play my free play on the slot machines. It seems like their BJ games are usually reasonable if you have to put in some more play.

I remember one young woman who lived half a block from a boat dock. People who self parked their cars walked further to the gambling boat than she did. All she ever did was sun herself on a deck chair and enjoy a free cruise because for some reason she was always comped for an afternoon cruise. She never played even one hand of low level Blackjack. Not once.

Now on one of these real cruise ships we all know the casino has a captive market and if you do not like their payouts well you can just walk to whichever other casino is closest and if you survive the journey you can stand in their casino dripping wet; they just don't care. Vegas casinos care because its usually a short walk and often a subterranean airconditioned one if you know a few secrets, but cruise ship casinos just don't care one whit.

Its similar to being in a Tribal casino or an Oklahoma casino. They are a monopoly and they know it. You may or may not get the spear point but you will definitely get the shaft.

If I were ever to get comped to a gambling cruise, I'd make full use of the duty free shop, the free buffets, the sunshine to rid myself of my prison pallor and whatever low house edge games were available.

Remember the old days where if your luck was very good you were a shoe-in for another comp. Them days are GONE.

Quote: FleaStiff

Its similar to being in a Tribal casino or an Oklahoma casino. They are a monopoly and they know it.

Oklahoma has more casinos than any other state with the exception of Nevada.

Quote: GaryJKoehler

So we gritted our teeth and started playing. It would have been simpler to just write a check. Money was draining at a good clip. By the third day we were down about $3,000. Finally my wife yelled uncle and sought-out a penny slot machine.

Did you consider playing their 6/5 blackjack ? It would have had a much lower HA than the slots, right ? I mostly played 6/5 bj on our last cruise (since it was the least of the worst), it was a nice social activity, I saw mostly the same people all the time at the table.

Quote: Romes

Why play at all? If the cruise and comps are already complete... and in the end you're not going to be getting comped anymore anyways... then F them for having such AWFUL games and just don't play at all and enjoy your cruise?

True enough. We live in Florida with many cruise lines. A travel agency that focuses on casino experiences has been after me for years and we decided to take them up on an offer. Our thinking was that if we had enough play-through (up to the true cost of the package), we'd likely get comped again, so were willing to take a chance to get some creds. Didn't work, but nothing lost thanks to Lady Luck.

We did play some 6/5 BJ but both of us were a bit rusty. Besides, and I might be wrong, I don't trust that table games get tracked as carefully. And they don't earn player rewards anywhere near what Slots (and even VP) do.

Coincidentally, two days after arriving home, a Vegas casino comped us for a free cruise - but not near as nice as the Celebrity one (just an interior room, no Free play, no drink package, etc. - just a free 7-day boat ride with food!)