Youuuuuuuuuu might not be an AP if...(contest)

Quote: AxelWolf

You might not be an AP if you didn't try to sneak in on last entry.

Lol!

(Buzzer) (DQ) But nice try!

Preliminary stats:

I have pulled out all the actual entries, of which there are 158 by my count. about a dozen of those were DQ'd for some reason (not a one-liner, or one-liner with a verbal tag; rule violation, ineligible receiver). There are 59 unique posters with at least 1 entry, -1 ineligible receiver (Face). Very impressed with the number of folks who gave it a shot! Thanks!

We need a day or so to confer. Top whatever number will be announced, probably based on a scoring cutoff. I'm guessing top 5, might be more, depends on where the scores fall or break.

If there is a tie-breaker needed, I will have us rank the top tier individually (no duplicate scores). If there's still a tie, I will do a closest-to-the pin trivia question to be announced later.

Youuuuu might not be an AP if you fell asleep on the couch waiting for the last minute for a last entry ;-(

Was still thinking, but all I had:

If you're the suicide bomber that blows yourself up while getting dressed for work on the morning of your big day, well not AP.
Also your comped virgins and Heavenly Bliss may be withheld pending review by Pit, Surveillance, or Mgt!

My entry should be a top contender, wink wink. ;) "I'm very prepared to win."Hunger Games reference. ;)

Quote: djatc

You might not be an ap if you gave the hospital your real name

This is the winner.

Youuuuuu might not be playing fair and balanced if you throw out my entry cause I made it.

That posted in honor of 1BB.

Course it is fine to throw it out for being really bad ;-(

Happy tabulations!

Really was a very cool thread.....

if you set your calendar forward for daylight savings time and now it's too late to enter SIGH

This can't be the end! We need more hilarious signs that you are not an AP!

Sorry buddy ..... That dance is iocer

Quote: Wizardofnothing

Sorry buddy ..... That dance is iocer

not until the skinny lady sings

Quote: RS

This is the winner.

I agree

Hey, are you 3 in cahoots trying to AP the contest and split the giant jackpot prize of $25 3 ways?

(I actually find that idea pretty funny as this place is full of people trying to get an edge.)

Quote: rxwine

Hey, are you 3 in cahoots trying to AP the contest and split the giant jackpot prize of $25 3 ways?

(I actually find that idea pretty funny as this place is full of people trying to get an edge.)

Who told?

You must admit it was fairly funny especially since most ideas had already been taken. It kinda made fun of AP's and took it from the casino and into everyday life.

Unfortunately the mods are voting and they want their cut to.

Quote: RS

Quote: djatc

You might not be an ap if you gave the hospital your real name.

This is the winner.

Sounds like a recipe for making illegitimate AP babies; and then abandoning the critters at the hospital. Funny that you should think of this.

Quote: TheGrimReaper13

Sounds like a recipe for making illegitimate AP babies; and then abandoning the critters at the hospital. Funny that you should think of this.

He drives a Miata silly.

To all: Babs informed me she had promised a decision on a winner by tomorrow the 20th and asked that I get my votes in by then, but I just can't do it. That's all on me, just way too much on my plate these last few days and I wasn't paying attention to the deadlines given.

I have told Babs I would bang it out tomorrow, and I plan to do just that. Due to my delay, her promise may be backed up a day. I just wanted to advise everyone because I suspect some would be asking.

The rumors that I have already spent the winnings have been greatly exaggerated.

Quote: Face

To all: Babs informed me she had promised a decision on a winner by tomorrow the 20th and asked that I get my votes in by then, but I just can't do it. That's all on me, just way too much on my plate these last few days and I wasn't paying attention to the deadlines given.

I have told Babs I would bang it out tomorrow, and I plan to do just that. Due to my delay, her promise may be backed up a day. I just wanted to advise everyone because I suspect some would be asking.

The rumors that I have already spent the winnings have been greatly exaggerated.

And yet you were seen at McDonalds today eating chicken nuggets, eh Barney ?

Quote: Face

The rumors that I have already spent the winnings have been greatly exaggerated.

greatly exaggerated but not untrue? That's ok, I can hold out for my winnings. I mean we, I mean everyone.

Abort!! abort!!! operation contest fixing.

Poor Kentry he can probably use that money for his possible slot habit.

If you lie about your multiplier so you can play bar top vp where the drinks aren't even free.

Quote: AxelWolf

greatly exaggerated but not untrue? That's ok, I can hold out for my winnings. I mean we, I mean everyone.

Abort!! abort!!! operation contest fixing.

Poor Kentry he can probably use that money for his possible slot habit.

I have already decided to roll my winnings over into next year's annual contest making it a really big $50 jackpot.
There were supposed to be sound effects.
'making it a really big $50 Jackpot'....tah dah!
Still no sound...jhit....

Quote: TwoFeathersATL

Still no sound...jhit....

Out loud!
Wife looked at me funny........

Quote: beachbumbabs

It'll be interesting to see how different people rate some of these; Mission, Face, and I are 3 very dissimilar people IRL.

This is true, and is apparent now that I have rated and viewed your rating in comparison (I looked after I rated as asked, to preserve integrity and decrease influence). I do have to say though, for all our differences, the childish streak in us is strong XD

I'm interested to see the results. In viewing only our two ratings, I can think of just one out of the 100+ that we were in lock step agreement about. I'm still giggling. Had the entry been posted the way you (BBB) suggested via PM, said poster could /drop mic and this contest would be over =)

I hope regardless we can see all of your top pics and what you mean by "if the entry was worded this way..."

This was a fun thread and a great idea babs!

Who won, it ended days ago. Where
is the winner listed.

Quote: Face

In viewing only our two ratings, I can think of just one out of the 100+ that we were in lock step agreement about. I'm still giggling.

I'm thinking, what would seem funny to a bunch of slugs? Ooh, I can hardly wait. Nor the forum's resident political savant, EB.

Quote: Romes

This was a fun thread and a great idea babs!

I don't know, maybe it has to do with the glorification of criminal/mischievous idiocy.

Quote: AxelWolf

He drives a Miata silly.

Never heard of it, even now. A new name for the Clown-Mobile of Vegas? Have you had a ride in it? This is hilarious. What a difference a lack of comma makes. You must be a second or third -generation AP. Vicious cycle.

Ever wonder how a gang of biker guys all look like brothers? And they seem to understand each other's weirdly perverted lack of humor? Cutesy. With each younger generation thinking that they were the first to crap on their kids too.



Speaking of Swan Songs... stay down for the count, 1BB! Even the so-called trolls are long gone, not a whisper for months. Looks like paradise ahead, whether you want it or not. The coast is indeed clear.



And remember, it's Thanksgiving; not Turkey Day. Have some fun.

Quote: AxelWolf

Poor Kentry he can probably use that money for his possible slot habit.

... or a nice haircut

Quote: Romes

I hope regardless we can see all of your top pics and what you mean by "if the entry was worded this way..."

This was a fun thread and a great idea babs!

I've no problem sharing my votes. The others are up to them. Of course, I'm gonna catch hell for my ratings of "1", as it's more likely I just didn't understand it, as opposed to it not being humorous, relevant, etc. But whatever, I'll put it out there.

Quote: EvenBob

Who won, it ended days ago. Where
is the winner listed.

I just got Babs my stuff around 2p EST today. It is certainly going to take her more than an hour to tabulate (at least, it would me, it took me an hour just to vote =p), and I think she's typically a late arrival here. I can't speak for her, but I wouldn't expect the results today due to my previous delay.

Quote: TheGrimReaper13

I'm thinking, what would seem funny to a bunch of slugs? Ooh, I can hardly wait. Nor the forum's resident political savant, EB.

I've been called many things. "Slug" is a first. I don't even know how to apply it.

It seems you're tiring of convoluted snipes from the shadows. Don't fall apart now. If you're done with sniping, at least go out in a thermonuclear explosion of opinion. No one remembers those who do things half cocked.

Quote: TheGrimReaper13

I'm thinking, what would seem funny to a bunch of slugs? Ooh, I can hardly wait. Nor the forum's resident political savant, EB.



I don't know, maybe it has to do with the glorification of criminal/mischievous idiocy.

Never heard of it, even now. A new name for the Clown-Mobile of Vegas? Have you had a ride in it? This is hilarious. What a difference a lack of comma makes. You must be a second or third -generation AP. Vicious cycle.

Ever wonder how a gang of biker guys all look like brothers? And they seem to understand each other's weirdly perverted lack of humor? Cutesy. With each younger generation thinking that they were the first to crap on their kids too.



Speaking of Swan Songs... stay down for the count, 1BB! Even the so-called trolls are long gone, not a whisper for months. Looks like paradise ahead, whether you want it or not. The coast is indeed clear.



And remember, it's Thanksgiving; not Turkey Day. Have some fun.

Re: the bolded part above. Personal insult x 3 moderators. 3-7-14 days. Re: the cumulative tone of your posts and several nasty insinuations before this, including your "entry" in this contest. Double it to 28 days. Happy holidays.

I'm sure he'll be back before then...

Now, on to the results!

Tied for 12-15th place @ 5.666667:

If you think of penetration as something that is sought out by bachelors on weekend excursions before you think of blackjack...(you might not be an AP!)...... Minty

If you have to pull down your zipper to count to 21....(you might not be an AP!)...AyeCarumba

If you think all the employees know where the best machines are.....(you might not be an AP!)...Axel

If your idea of "hitting a progressive" is wacking "Flo" with her "Name Your Price Tool".....(you might not be an AP!)..ayecarumba

Tied for 7-11th place @ 6.000000

(If you)play 6 to 5 blackjack because both numbers are bigger than 3 to 2.....(you might not be an AP!)..muleyvoice

If you act as the casino in a home BJ game, and use 4 decks.....of Pinochle cards.....(you might not be an AP!).RaleighCraps

If you feel counting an 8 deck shoe is too hard due to the 396 cards.....(you might not be an AP!)..RaleighCraps

If you think your profit/loss statement proves that the math "doesn't work".....(you might not be an AP!)....Dalex

If you think the dice going out of the tub and the shooter not requesting 'SAME DICE' is a curse to 7 out.....(you might not be an AP!)....Romes

Tied for 5-6th place @ 6.333333

If eating 100 mcnuggets in an hour for the Wiz's cash is your best play!.....(you might not be an AP!).....MidwestAP

If you think Beyond Counting is the first algebra book a 6th grader receives.....(you might not be an AP!).....Romes

Tied for 3-4th place @ 6.666667

If you gave the hospital your real name.....(you might not be an AP!).....djatc

If you think "EV" is the night before a holiday, and SD is something you get from a hooker inside a casino.....(you might not be an AP!).. Romes

In 2nd place @7.333333

If you think Stanford Wong is an Ivy League porn flick......(you might not be an AP!)..Scottimus

And, in 1st place @ 7.666667

If the limo driver radios in after picking you up, "Shamu is in the tank".....(you might not be an AP!)....Ayecarumba

Honorable mentions:

If the casino sends a limousine around to pick you up.....og (this got 5.333333, but I think it deserves credit as it appeared before Aye's winning entry added the extra whale twist)

If you feel an 8 deck shoe game is better than single deck, because you have 32 shots at BJ, instead of just 4.....RaleighCraps (disqualified because RC followed himself directly, but I thought this would have made the list above for sure; just a perfect entry)

If you think it means getting away with a roll of your buddies T-paper after dropping a deuce at his house.....rainman (disqualified because rainman followed himself, but funny enough to make the HM list)

The line Face referred to that I re-wrote was (FWIW): If your idea of "hitting a progressive" is whacking "Flo" with your "Name Your Price" Tool.....(you might not be an AP!)..ayecarumba

Thanks again to everybody who played! I'll be sending Aye $25 by PayPal as soon as I have his email address (please send via PM).

Quote:

in 1st place @ 7.666667

If the limo driver radios in after picking you up, "Shamu is in the tank".....(you might not be an AP!)....Ayecarumba

good choice!! it *was* the best!

Great one, AyeCarumba!!!

The Stanford Wong one was my favorite, but I gave that one, yours, the hospital one and one or two others an eight.

Quote: Ibeatyouraces

I'm sure he'll be back before then...

What took so long, I winced at some
of his toxic posts.

Quote: EvenBob

What took so long, I winced at some
of his toxic posts.

I'm still waiting for someone to figure out what his past names here have been. As I said before, I highly doubt TGR is his first.

Quote: Ibeatyouraces

I'm still waiting for someone to figure out what his past names here have been. As I said before, I highly doubt TGR is his first.

I have suggested he is Kerkebet--looking for a clean slate. Several similarities. TGR joined 9-25. Kerkebet's last visit 9-21.

Wow, thanks folks! I am genuinely shocked. It was fun. Reminds me of the "Top 10" contest that the Late Show with David Letterman used to run on their website.

Please hang on to the money for now BBB. I have a feeling I may be asking you to forward it somewhere else when the the NFL season is over...

Thank you for generously putting up the prize!

Quote: odiousgambit

good choice!! it *was* the best!

Wow, really? I thought Shamu was that TV
thing ShamWow. Then I thought it was a
racial slur against black people. I finally
looked it up and it's a whale. Then I had to
find out why he would be in a tank. So
for me it fell a little flat.

Quote: EvenBob

Wow, really? I thought Shamu was that TV
thing ShamWow. Then I thought it was a
racial slur against black people. I finally
looked it up and it's a whale. Then I had to
find out why he would be in a tank. So
for me it fell a little flat.

Yeah, it's a cultural reference. Not too many SeaWorld Michigans. But if you make the instant connection between "Shamu" and "Whale" and a high roller valuable enough to send a limo to get him, with a little Secret-Service type nickname thrown in....it's hysterical.

Quote: Ayecarumba

Wow, thanks folks! I am genuinely shocked. It was fun. Reminds me of the "Top 10" contest that the Late Show with David Letterman used to run on their website.

Please hang on to the money for now BBB. I have a feeling I may be asking you to forward it somewhere else when the the NFL season is over...

Thank you for generously putting up the prize!

BBB and I have come to an agreement regarding the prize, and I consider the payment of her prize offer completely settled. Again, a big thank you for her generosity and time, and thanks to the the other Admins for giving their time, energy, and $$ to make the board a fun place to be.

Congrats Aye, well deserved!

Quote: beachbumbabs

...it's hysterical.

Trivia time!

What do "hysterical" and a womans "uterus" have in common?

Quote: EvenBob

Wow, really? I thought Shamu was that TV
thing ShamWow. Then I thought it was a
racial slur against black people. I finally
looked it up and it's a whale. Then I had to
find out why he would be in a tank. So
for me it fell a little flat.

You had to be the only person on the forum that didn't know who that was.

It's oftentimes used to make fun of fat girls.

Quote: MidwestAP

Congrats Aye, we'll deserved!

Thank you! I will need to get lucky to keep all of this prize from going to you via Mission's Picks contest. You're killing us hehe.

Quote: Greasyjohn

I have suggested he is Kerkebet--looking for a clean slate. Several similarities.

i don't think so. Do you want to go DoubleOrNothing?

Quote: Ibeatyouraces

Trivia time!

What do "hysterical" and a womans "uterus" have in common?

Well, without googling it, the root of hysteria is Greek or Latin (not sure which) relating to female-based emotion or something like that, being over the top because of hormonal influences, with the reference going back a couple thousand years. A hysterectomy is the removal of the uterus and/or ovaries.

Was that what you were asking? Or was that a lead-in to a joke?

And, since we're on the subject, why do they call it an orchidectomy? It's not like men have flowers...

Quote: JimRockford

i don't think so. Do you want to go DoubleOrNothing?

I was thinking that as well. I just forgot his name. Who really knows, but one thing they have in common , they take jabs at Mike and they don't like AP's.

I suspect it's someone who attempted and failed at AP miserably.

Quote: beachbumbabs

Well, without googling it, the root of hysteria is Greek or Latin (not sure which) relating to female-based emotion or something like that, being over the top because of hormonal influences, with the reference going back a couple thousand years. A hysterectomy is the removal of the uterus and/or ovaries.

Was that what you were asking? Or was that a lead-in to a joke?

And, since we're on the subject, why do they call it an orchidectomy? It's not like men have flowers...

Orchiectomy (edit: I see that there is the spelling with the 'd' also. Odd that there would be different spellings.)

Quote: beachbumbabs

Well, without googling it, the root of hysteria is Greek or Latin (not sure which) relating to female-based emotion or something like that, being over the top because of hormonal influences, with the reference going back a couple thousand years. A hysterectomy is the removal of the uterus and/or ovaries.

Was that what you were asking? Or was that a lead-in to a joke?

And, since we're on the subject, why do they call it an orchidectomy? It's not like men have flowers...

Delete

Great contest Babs and Mods. Congrats to the winner.

If you decide to run a future contest like this, I will gladly put up the $25 prize.

I can't believe my entry didn't win and didn't even make the best of list. "You might not be an AP if you spend $400 to get the $400 progressive." That was Gold! *Sulks like a petulant child* :(Congratulations to Aye Carumba, however! :)