Fatherly Advice Applied to Blackjack

Have you ever been in a restaurant or some other public place when a nearby father says to his young son, “Sit up straight!” I saw this happen at the casino once, but the father was about sixty years old, and the son looked forty. Hardly a youngster needing advice. Besides having terrible posture, I remember that the son was also a horrible blackjack player. When I heard the dad’s comment, my first thought was: The father should be telling the son how to play better. As Father’s Day approaches, here is my interpretation of how everyday fatherly advice could be translated for use on the blackjack table:

A father’s advice, “Stand up for yourself. Don’t be a wimp.” This advice is usually meant for the playground, but on the blackjack table this advice applies to players who are afraid to double-down an eleven against the dealer’s face card, or split eights against a face. Do you only double-down when the dealer shows a five or six? If so, you are being bullied by the dealer. Stand up for yourself. Double-down when you are supposed to double-down.

A father’s advice, “Don’t drink and drive.” Similarly, “Don’t drink and gamble.” Both adages apply in moderation. It is OK to have a drink or two, as long as your driving or card-playing abilities are not impaired. Over-indulging can lead to loss of life or limb on the road. Drinking too much at the casino can lead to loss of cash plus credit card advance fees. There are obviously many times when a drunk-driver makes it home safely. Likewise, there are many occasions when you see drunken blackjack players betting crazy, defying basic strategy, and walking away big winners. Keep in mind that both groups of idiots will suffer the adverse consequences of their actions eventually.

A father’s advice, “Never speak unless spoken to.” Try practicing this advice at the blackjack table when you see a blackjackally challenged player make a bad play. I had a heckuva hard time doing this in the early days of my blackjack career. I almost always made some sort of comment to the offending player, the dealer, or to myself. It took me awhile to hold my tongue. Now, I never give playing advice unless asked. If the other player asks me nicely, I will respond with the correct way to play according to basic strategy or, sometimes, the index play. I’ll say, “Normally you should hit a twelve against a two, but there have been a ton of little cards out recently. My advice is that you should hit.” If a rude or obnoxious player asks me for advice, I’ll say, “My advice is that you play at another table…away from me.”

Oftentimes, fathers use famous quotes or sayings to impart wisdom on their children. Some of these sayings also find practical application at the casino:

A father’s wisdom, “Don’t count your chickens before they’re hatched.” Originally, only farming fathers gave this advice to their children. The next time you double down a huge sum of money on a ten against the dealer’s bust card, then you draw a face card for twenty, then the dealer turns over a card which sums their other card to eleven, then gets a face card for twenty-one, remember this saying. Then say aloud, “Stupid chickens!”

A father’s wisdom, “Cheaters never win, and winners never cheat.” Is card-counting cheating? No? Then I have no problem with this wisdom being associated with actions at the casino. Does this advice mean that I should point out when the dealer overpays me or pays me on a losing hand? Yes? Then I have a problem with it. I think the saying in a casino should be, “Cheaters sometimes win, and winners sometimes cheat.” [Before any of you pass judgment on me, like the last time I posted similar sentiments, please answer one question: Have you ever driven 56 miles per hour or more when the posted speed limit was 55 mph? Then you are a cheater. Welcome to the club!]

A father’s wisdom, “The early bird catches the worm.” Card-counters should try visiting a casino at 6:00 or 7:00 AM on a weekday. There are usually no other players and/or the table minimums are lowered on the games with the best rules.

A father’s wisdom, “A fool and his money are soon parted.” This is the easiest one of all to interpret—simply look at everyone playing on tables with 6-to-5 payouts on blackjack.

Finally, many fathers would strongly impart the following wisdom in general to their children, “Don't gamble!” I agree. If you play blackjack without being an advantage player, or if you indulge in any other casino game where the house has an edge—meaning all of them—this advice is practical. However, as all us card-counters will attest, what we do is not gambling. You’d never hear a father say to their son or daughter, “Don't use applied math.”

Do you have any fatherly advice that can be applied in the casino?

Glen Wiggy
Author of "1536 Free Waters and Other Blackjack Endeavors--Finding Profit and Humor in Card-Counting"

Quote: glenwiggy

I’ll say, “Normally you should hit a twelve against a two, but there have been a ton of little cards out recently. My advice is that you should hit.” ...

Umm... do what now? :-P

-DBJT

Let's see....advice.. My stepdad told me to always wear a condom. Took me several years to realize he meant only during sex. lol Now this advice really wasn't specific to casinos, but he didn'd say to exclude wearing one in casinos either. ??? lol

I had a baseball coach that noticed us checking out a couple girls at practice. He said "she may look good from far, but be far from good". I guess you could apply that to hookers plying their trade in the casinos.

OK, so it wasn't my dad, it was BuzzPaff. He said "You can't wise up a chump." I think of this every time I sit down at a table, so I never give advice at the table. Being a father of 4, with 3 step sons, I also know that you can't wise up a kid and they will learn most from their own mistakes. I guess this makes kids better than ploppies, because ploppies never learn.

Quote: CrystalMath

OK, so it wasn't my dad, it was BuzzPaff. He said "You can't wise up a chump." I think of this every time I sit down at a table, so I never give advice at the table. Being a father of 4, with 3 step sons, I also know that you can't wise up a kid and they will learn most from their own mistakes. I guess this makes kids better than ploppies, because ploppies never learn.

I think that's EvenBob's lament actually...

Quote: AcesAndEights

I think that's EvenBob's lament actually...

I've read that also from EvenBob, but I read it earlier from Buzz.

Edit: I think I heard it from Buzz, and he gives a lot of fatherly type advice.

I've never seen one (yet) in a casino, but I was advised many, many years ago to never play leap frog with a unicorn.

ZCore13

Quote: DBJT

Umm... do what now? :-P

-DBJT

You got me...I was trying to be funny. I meant to say, "My advice is that you should hit."

Glen

While I have nothing to add just wanted to express my enjoyment in reading your posts. You've got a way with words, cracks me up.

Whenever people leave to get cigarettes I usually think they aren't coming back, thanks to my dad.

I did meet him once about 10 years ago since he left, and remembering him saying "don't get into organized crime or get tangled up in that mess." I guess you could apply it to blackjack tables where you shouldn't take loans from loan sharks. Do they still break your arms and legs for not paying back?

Quote: winmonkeyspit3

While I have nothing to add just wanted to express my enjoyment in reading your posts. You've got a way with words, cracks me up.

Let me take this opportunity to plug Mr. Wiggy's book. No, he is not paying me for this plug :). I got it on Kindle and enjoyed it very much, especially since our situations are similar in that we both have a day job and counting is a hobby, but a profitable hobby to be taken semi-seriously. From what I can tell our stakes are similar too.

Of course our vocation, age, family situation, etc. are wildly different but I enjoyed it nonetheless. Some of the stories were actually instructive in that they are situations I hope to avoid in my future.

Quote: AcesAndEights

Let me take this opportunity to plug Mr. Wiggy's book. No, he is not paying me for this plug :). I got it on Kindle and enjoyed it very much...Some of the stories were actually instructive in that they are situations I hope to avoid in my future.

Thanks for the kind words. And, I'm glad you were able to learn from my mistakes...was it all the lies you told (or didn't tell) to your wife?

Glen

Quote: winmonkeyspit3

While I have nothing to add just wanted to express my enjoyment in reading your posts. You've got a way with words, cracks me up.

Thanks , winmonleyspit3...if that's your real name! Send me your email address via private message, and I'll send you an e-version of my book for free. Same thing goes for the next five of you who respond to me via private message.

Glen

Quote: glenwiggy

Thanks for the kind words. And, I'm glad you were able to learn from my mistakes...was it all the lies you told (or didn't tell) to your wife?

Glen

Yep, interaction with my girlfriend and honest and appropriate communication regarding my gambling finances. So far it hasn't been a problem and we don't even have any joint accounts (not married and only been dating 2 years), but at the very least, I'll be sure not to repeat your mistake with the ATM card :)