Humor - Casino Chip Crud

Have you ever played blackjack, roulette, Texas Hold’em or other casino table games in which the chips were dirty and disgusting? When casinos do not regularly clean or replace their plastic, clay, or ceramic tokens, the filth on the chips accumulate into dotted black or gray deposits that I call “chip crud.”



Chip crud reminds me of the thousands of round splotches on sidewalks and streets where irresponsible gum chewers carelessly discard their wad instead of throwing it in the trash. When the wad is new, it usually ends up on the bottom of your shoe or wedged in between the toes of your dog’s paw. When the gum has been stepped on all day or continuously rolled over by tires, it becomes a permanent part of the leopard-like, spotted pavement. Ridiculous.

If I had enough time and motivation, plus access to a chemical laboratory, I’d submit a sample of casino chip crud to have its composition analyzed. I suspect it would be a combination of dirt, skin, cigarette ash, e coli, hair, lotion, sweat, lint, gum, dander and make-up. Couple that with the things that everyday casino patrons come in contact with during the course of the average day, I bet that chip crud would also show traces of chocolate, stripper glitter, Chap-Stick, boogers, tuberculosis, pumpkin flavored vodka, urine, marijuana, Nacho Cheese Doritos, dental floss, beer, cocaine, urine, feces, plum-pudding, and moose semen.

While driving to Oklahoma a few summers ago, I stopped at a Native American reservation casino which had the worst chip crud that I’ve ever seen. I was so appalled by the quantity and denseness of the gunk on the chips that I considered leaving. However, it was the only casino around that offered an ante-free game of double-deck blackjack. [Casinos in Oklahoma are required to charge twenty-five cents to a dollar ante per hand as a tax. During some promotions, the house "absorbs" the tax by paying the player’s ante]. I had to put up with chip crud or pay a high per hand premium somewhere else.

I complained about the chips to the dealer and pit boss as soon as I bought in at the table. Crud was on almost every chip. “We know,” the dealer responded, “We get that complaint from everyone.” I questioned, “So why don’t you do something about it? Why don’t you clean the chips?” The pit boss said that it was, “…not his show.” A few minutes later, I gave the pit crew and all the other players at the table a show of my own. I grabbed a couple toothpicks and a cocktail napkin from a dispenser near the casino snack bar. When I had returned to the table, I placed the square napkin a few inches below and to the left of my stack of red and green chips. In between hands, I used the toothpick to scrape the dark crud off the chips in my pile. I then wiped the toothpick on the white napkin leaving numerous trails and small clumps of chip crud on the napkin’s surface. When I finished with my chips, I traded a $100 stack with the guy sitting next to me. He was supportive of the dreadful spectacle that I was making for everyone’s shock and my amusement. After awhile, the napkin resembled a Rorschach inkblot test. I held it up proudly, “Wow! This one looks like a pirate!”

“That’s disgusting!” a new dealer commented upon seeing the mess. I responded, “It sure is…and you touch this crap for eight hours a day. Think about that the next time you’re eating with your hands.”

Glen Wiggy
Author of "1536 Free Waters and Other Blackjack Endeavors--Finding Profit and Humor in Card Counting"

That is something I would do, although not in the context of the casino, due to the overall feeling of "strictness" and "don't do anything out of the ordinary." But kudos to you for making a spectacle of the crud!

This is a good story that isn't necessarily brimming with LOL humor, but is still amusing. I think I would probably enjoy your book. Perhaps I shall purchase it.

Quote: glenwiggy

plum-pudding, and moose semen.

Nice combo!

Maybe submit it as an idea (analysis) to MythBusters?

"The most common bacterium found was staphylococcus. It's pretty abundant on human skin. However, it does cause serious skin infections, and it is related to the infamous hospital killer MRSA, leading to around 80,000 deaths a year."
http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/poker/columns/story?columnist=bluff_magazine&id=2750550

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Quote: Ibeatyouraces

Anyone have any thoughts on why casinos don't clean them regularly? I've personnally thought about taking some to the health department and work with them and lawmakers to enact laws about keeping stuff like this clean. They wouldn't get away with giving you a dirty glass so why chips.

It costs time and money, but I suspect the main deterrent would be the security required to supervise the process.

Nobody washes money (well, since the Stardust closed), so why would chips be any different?

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Quote: Ibeatyouraces

Anyone have any thoughts on why casinos don't clean them regularly? I've personnally thought about taking some to the health department and work with them and lawmakers to enact laws about keeping stuff like this clean. They wouldn't get away with giving you a dirty glass so why chips.

Until recently, I thought the chips had the logo IMPRINTED on them...but then when I actually broke a chip in HALF (I was mad at the crap table) I realized it's just a STICKER...
If you put the chips in some sort of "dishwasher" (for lack of a better term), yes, it would clean them...but it would also take the "stickers" off...so, it's not worth it for the casino to clean them...

Quote: TIMSPEED

If you put the chips in some sort of "dishwasher" (for lack of a better term), yes, it would clean them...but it would also take the "stickers" off...

If you did it enough, you might degrade the center inlay, but I don't think you would have them coming off. Try to peel off one of those "stickers" without destroying the chip.

Hell, the center inlays don't even come off cheapo gift shop souvenir chips too easily.



At G2E there was a booth with a guy that had a chip washer. It looked like a jewelry cleaner. Drop the chips in the basket, drop the basket in the solution, and wait. About 5 minutes later, his grimy Venetian chips looked brand new - except for the rounded edges...

I was actually commenting on this to one of the Craps dealers at my local Native American Casino a few years ago. I noted that the chips were sticking together frequently and he was having difficulty cutting out payouts because of 2 or 3 sticking together.

He is an older dealer(70+) who had worked at many Las Vegas and Reno Casinos. New Mexico his retirement job.

Anyways, he said that there were Nevada Casinos he had worked at that had chip washing machines. Every few months they would run the chips through, like a dishwasher, to clean the "crud" off of them.

They never have done that here, they just bought new chips!

Has tableside eating always been allowed, or is it a relatively new phenomenon? I think(hope) alot of the sticky "goo" is food related. Pretty much all of the black has got to be smoke residue.

Yea, that crud on the chips is the houses responsibilty to clean. Never been grossed out though.

But the stuff on the slots is stomach turning!

I've seen everything from cigarette ash to snot to even lipstick on the Max Bet button to a Progressive machine of only $1000 & change! Don't even want to put my drink down on that side panel considering what people are doing to these machines!